A little something I came up with, after hearing the question, "Do you think Shang fell for Ping before or after he found out she was a woman?"

Hope you enjoy it. It's in Shang's point of view.

Lyrics at the beginning and end are from the song, "Shiksa Goddess," from The Last Five Years. I don't own that, or Mulan.

---

I'm breaking my mother's heart; the longer I stand looking at you, the more I hear it splinter and crack from 90 miles away.

---

Never, in all my years of training, discipline, honoring the Chinese traditions and customs, and working under my father, aspiring to become what I am, Captain Li Shang, would I think I would fall for a soldier.

I'll never forget the first time we crossed paths. I thought he was a walking contradiction. Weak, but defiant. Scared, but definitely a troublemaker. He didn't back down when I got in his face, but he couldn't remember his own name. Just plain old... strange. He didn't belong in my camp.

As time progressed, he didn't get any better. Always falling behind, causing trouble. Uncoordinated was an understatement; he was practically tripping over his own feet. The only thing keeping him there was his determination: he never once gave up because of anything other than utter exhaustion. But a desire to be something you're not only takes you so far, so I ordered him to leave. I didn't need him bringing anyone else down in this pathetic excuse for an army. We were bad enough as it is, and he just made matters worse.

But he didn't give up. That night he attempted the impossible and proved himself to me, to everyone else. That's what we needed; we needed that boost of confidence, that one man that showed the others anything was possible if you set your mind to it. At that point, I admired him. I was foolish to try to send him home, I'll admit. But maybe that's what he needed to succeed.

Fa Ping was an essential part of this army, and I wasn't about to give that up anytime soon.

From that point onward, everyone improved. People fought better, concentrated harder, and strived toward achieving my goal, our goal: to be the best army there every was.

It was around that time I noticed him - I mean, really noticed him.

The way he moved, the sway of his hips as he turned and walked away from his officer in command. The way he spoke, his voice was almost like that of a woman. Everything about him was slightly feminine. Endearing. Loveable. All I would want in a woman was in this man, and in that moment of revelation, the world did a full somersault and landed in the lap of my quasi-infatuation.

I could not be attracted to a male. It was insane, unethical, and just completely unheard of. If word got out, my family would disown me, dishonor would be brought unto the family, and I would be forever disgraced.

I decided that I had to keep my emotions at bay.

Throughout the majority of the rest of our time at camp, we had pretty much what could be considered a platonic relationship. I didn't bother him any more than I was required to, and he just approached me whenever he felt like doing so. Which wasn't all that often, mind you.

Until that is, a few days before I got the letter ordering us to leave camp.

It really wasn't my fault, to be honest with you. I just decided to go to the lake, the communal lake, to take a bath. It's a common misconception that we men don't wash ourselves. We do. Especially in the army; men get sweaty and putrid extremely quickly, and if we don't bathe... someone may lose consciousness. But anyway, back on topic.

I stripped down to the bare essentials, meaning me, and nothing else (try to contain yourselves), and dove in. I hadn't received a chance to relax like this since this whole training recruits thing started, and it felt kind of nice to have "me" time. But it was then I realized I wasn't the only "me" in the lake. Uh... that probably didn't make sense. I wasn't the only human in the lake. Male. Person. Not talking about clones here. There was definitely a visible head and shoulders about 30 meters away from me.

Lucky for me, he was facing the other direction and didn't seem to hear me come in, which was slightly surprising. I tried to keep it that way by swimming closer to him, as soundlessly as possible, and dipping lower in the water until the only body part that wasn't submerged was my head. I can honestly say I never thought I would be in a position such as this; hiding from my inferiors is something Li Shang just doesn't do on a daily basis. Or, ever. But I guess there's a first time for everything, because there I was: hiding from Fa Ping.

I couldn't help but notice how flawlessly unblemished his shoulder blades were, how creamy his skin color was. The slight drop of his rounded shoulders reminded me so much of a woman's, it was slightly uncanny. His damp charcoal black hair glistened in the moonlight as he shook his head slightly, and I caught a small glimpse of his face, a sense of calm and serenity etched on his chiseled features.

In that moment I decided to get the ball back in my court, so to speak, and make him feel like the uncomfortable one. I sunk further into the water until I was completely under, and turned around so I was facing the opposite direction. My feet felt the soft ground and I pushed off, bursting through the surface of the lake with an obnoxiously loud splash.

I heard a piercing shriek behind me and secretly smirked. He screams like a girl too. He cleared his throat and addressed me, sounding slightly breathless. "Shang!"

I turned around coolly, and made a face like I was surprised to see him there. "Hey, Ping." Now he's the one up to his neck in water. Oh, karma is sweet.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" He chuckled slightly, his eyes shifty as he fiddled with a lily pad.

I raised an eyebrow at him. Ha. I love having the upper hand. "Bathing."

"Oh, right. Heh, well, I'm going to go now... I'll, uh, see you tomorrow. Er... in the morning. At the training... thing. Um, bye." And though I was slightly tempted to stare at him as he swam hurriedly in the opposite direction, I gave him the privacy he deserved by turning around.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Big deal. You probably were expecting some big... I don't know... kissing session or something. Well, this might not seem like such a huge thing to you, but at the time it was bit nerve wracking, considering the situation.

And, the best part is, I made him uncomfortable. Not that I hadn't before, I had gotten up in his face and yelled at him countless times, which could make anyone uncomfortable. But this time, there was really no need to be uncomfortable, yet he was. Unless he's uncomfortable with being in a lake, naked, with other men. And I think this paragraph holds the record for most times using the word uncomfortable in a 10 second period. Well, it could be 15, or 5, depending on how fast you read...

This is making me uncomfortable. Let's move on.

A few days later, we moved out of camp, into the mountains and valleys of China. The men broke out in song, once again, but this time about a girl worth fighting this war for. If you ask me, you shouldn't be fighting for anyone else except yourself, and your country. Although, as they sang I couldn't help picture a woman in the back of my head, one with charcoal black hair down her back, full red lips, and oval shaped eyes; a woman with courage and strength to match my own, fighting the Huns alongside myself and my army.

My subconscious was showing me the female version of Fa Ping.

I just tried to block it out, and focus on the grueling journey ahead. Oh, what a cheery thought that is. So the majority of the trek, I must have had a blank stare plastered on my face. That is, until we reached the site of the Imperial army that my father commanded.

It was a tragic sight, one that made my heart jump into my throat and my stomach drop. The domain was in ruins; the wood, left over from what were once tents and cabins, was blackened from fires that burned throughout the camp. Random strips of fabric were strewn on the ground, some still engulfed in flames. And then Chien Po, who is usually known for his ability to solve problems and calm people down, only made matters worse. He walked up the small hill of snow that I was standing on, one that overlooked the site, separating me from it. He held a familiar helmet in his hand, a somber look on his face. "The... general," he said softly to me, bowing his head in respect and sympathy, reaching out his arms to hand me the helmet that once belonged to my father.

At one of the only times in my life, I was physically incapable of forming words. I stared, mouth slightly open, at the helmet in my hands, wondering where it all went wrong. Words of comfort from the soldiers meant nothing, and I walked off on my own and made a small memorial. I heard Ping walk over before I saw him, and he offered a small sense of security and being. Seeing him there reminded me why I was there, and I knew I had to do whatever it took to defeat the Huns, with Ping fighting alongside me.

We left the site soon thereafter, most of us depressingly quiet. Until that is, a certain someone sent off a cannon when we arrived in the Tung Shao pass. I couldn't believe his stupidity, and I exploded at him for the split second I had before my shoulder was punctured with an arrow. In the blink of an eye, we were overwhelmed with arrows flying down from the mountain above, some on fire, all extremely dangerous. Thankfully we got away fairly quickly, hiding behind rocks once we got to the opposite side, and setting up cannons to fire at our enemies.

And of course, our little rebel decides to grab the cannon and take off with it, totally disregarding my orders to aim it at Shan Yu. From where we were. Punk.

But I guess he deserves a bit more credit than I've been giving him for that move, because with one light of the cannon, the entire Hun army was buried in snow.

Yet, there was still one problem: our army was on the same mountain as them.

Luckily, our army has the incredible skills to hide behind a giant rock, so the majority of them were safe. Me, I was kind of... oh, what's the word... knocked out cold, thanks to the lovely Ping, for a good 10 minutes. When I woke up, I was on the back of Khan, Ping's horse, and we were being brought up from off the cliff by a rope, attached to the hands of my glorious soldiers. Yeah. Let's just say that was more than a little scary.

So we made it safely to the top. I was eternally grateful for Ping being Ping, and if the other guys hadn't been there I probably would have hugged him. But you know, got to keep my cool manly ways about me. I was feeling pretty happy about the situation thus far, until that is, Ping cried out in pain and clutched his side. When he removed his hand, there was a pool of blood quickly spreading on his armor, and soon after, he lost consciousness.

The hour or so that he was visited by the medic, and his wound was wrapped, I was a ball of nerves. I was snapping at anyone who spoke to me, pacing left and right, and biting my lip until it was nearly raw. After a while, the rest of the soldiers just knew to leave me alone, and sat on the sidelines, worrying on their own. Once the medic finally stepped out of the tent, I was more than relieved to see a feature that didn't resemble misery on his face, even though there was a trace of worry mixed in there. He called me over, and whispered, "I think you better see... him," in my ear, eyeing the others to make sure they didn't hear as well.

Puzzled, I walked inside the tent and saw that Ping was awake, though still visibly exhausted. He smiled, and sat up, revealing his bandages, and a trait that astounded me. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I left the tent in shock, my mind processing what had just been revealed to me.

He was a woman.

---

I've been waiting for someone, I've been praying for someone, I think that I could be in love with someone... like you.