A/N: This is pure crack. just throwing that out there.
Disclaimer: I dont own Death Note.
"WASSUP BITCHES!" Mello called, rolling through the door and into the room riding on an office chair.
Matt and Near turned from their shared game of chess to stare blatantly at the blond.
"Mello…?" Matt ventured cautiously, his hand hovering over the chessboard where he had been about to move his bishop to take out one of Nears pawns.
Mello, spinning in a full circle once thanks to the office chair stopped and stared intensely at the redhead before answering with a smile "yes my sexy little ginger?"
Matt's jaw dropped. "wha-"he spluttered, glancing at Near with a pleading look as if to ask 'what do I do!'
Near in question blinked once before turning back to the chess game that had been abandoned moments ago. "Matt, I believe it's your turn next?" he said calling Matt's attention back to the chessboard.
"Uh, yeah, sorry" Matt mumbled, resuming his earlier action of moving his bishop and capturing a white pawn.
Mello frowned at this lack of attention; stupid Near this was his fault.
It didn't take long for Mello to form a plan in his head, though truth be told it wasn't much of a plan.
He rolled over on his handy-dandy office chair and stopped between the two, looking between them as they continued their game and task of ignoring him. He smiled a little before ever so slyly kicking his leg out and toppling Nears chair easily.
Near tumbled from his spot as the chair seemed to disappear from underneath him, he hit the floor with a soft thud, frowning.
Matt stood quickly "Near? Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, trying to get a look at the younger boy. Mello however had other plans, jumping onto the table in front of matt and obscuring his view.
"mattie~" he purred, knocking the chessboard off the table, pieces clattering to the floor.
Matt looked like a deer caught in headlights "u-um. Mello…?" he asked, backing up ever so slightly.
Mello grinned "RawЯ!"
The gamer before him looked momentarily confused "raw-?" Mello lunged at him, wrapping his arms around Matt's neck and his legs around the boys hips, sending the younger of the two off balance.
"M-mello! What a-are you doing?" the redhead yelped, cheeks burning as he tried to pry the blond off of him.
Mello grinned predatorily "does it matter?" he purred, pressing himself closer with each attempt by Matt to get him off.
"u-uh.. I-I.. mels… I'm g-gonna fall over!" Matt cried though it was too late and they were sent tumbling to the floor, Mello cheering inwardly at his luck for landing on top of the other, which gave him the advantage of continuing his new favorite game: harass Matt because his frikkin' adorable.
"mmm much better" Mello grinned down at his very flustered best friend who was furiously trying to wiggle away from him.
Matt, realizing this attempt was futile looked around "somebody help me! Mello's ra-"
Well he couldn't have his prey getting rescued so Mello firmly glued his lips to the gamers and silenced him.
Meanwhile…
"Perhaps Roger should go check on Matt in the study, when I left he seemed to be having…. Some problems with Mello" Near stated flatly before turning and shuffling out of roger ruvie's office.
Roger sighed resignedly but nodded "thank you Near" he called before heading down the hallway towards the study.
Let's just say Mello was required to wash the dishes for a week and half and was forbidden from being in the same room with Matt until he could prove he wouldn't rape the other boy if he got a chance. And though Mello griped about the punishment he secretly decided acting high as an excuse to ravish his best friend was the funest thing he'd done in a long time. He would definitely be doing that again soon.