La Tua Cantante

by itsamandything

It's been 5 years, and neither Jude nor Tommy have made a a move towards reconciling. So, they threw themselves into music, and two days before Jude turns 23, Tommy's career has landed him in London, putting them together again. Are they too far gone?

La Tua Cantante

An Instant Star FanFiction

Shot: 1 of 1

Jude was nervous. More nervous than she'd imagined. She'd expected that he'd come here and she'd expected that it would be for her. But, this was more of a surprise than ever. Tommy was here on a tour, more specifically his tour. She was in utter disbelief. He always said he'd never do it again unless he made his own rules but, here he was. Darius signed him and he was here in London two days before her 23rd birthday. Not only that but tomorrow morning they were both performing on the same show.

Jude groaned out of frustration. She didn't want to perform this song. It made her feel exposed but, if Tommy was going to be there she may as well just be completely naked and exposed for the entire world to see. This song to her was worse than 'White Lines' or even '2 A.M.' for that matter. She'd written it the day they had their fight in her garage. She had made a huge mistake, and it wasn't coming to London. It was leaving him there and coming here without him but, now she had no idea how to even make things right.

She'd thought about it. But, that wasn't something she wanted the entire world to hear. But, thanks to EJ's constant badgering, Jude Harrison was performing a song that still sent chills and shivers up her spine when she even thought about it. Her thoughts were interrupted when Liam and EJ both barged into the studio, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. Jude tugged off the headphones and placed them on the soundboard.

"Well, how's it coming?" EJ asked and Jude groaned.

"It's coming along fine. I just don't see why this one?" She asked throwing her hands up in the air.

"Because, its the first song you've produced since your third album and the only reason you produced it is because you don't want anyone to hear it. But, if it's going on the album it will be heard eventually." EJ said, rambling at a fast pace.

"I know but, I'm just not ready. Well, you'd better get ready because tomorrow morning you and Quincy will be on the same show and I'm not going to have a repeat of the Instant Star World competition with it came here five years ago." EJ warned her and Jude couldn't help but smile.

"You have started a musical war Ms. Harrison, and you might as well finish it." Liam said before he and EJ walked out of the studio and shut the door behind them.

Jude cut off the equipment and left the studio, heading down to meet Erin at their favorite pub. She was walking down the street when a torrential downpour soaked her to her core. Jude stood there on the street for a minute and watched as the people started scattering, and she laughed at them but, only for a second. Jude watched as a bolt of lightening struck somewhere in the distance and she decided it was best to make it to her destination in one piece.

Once she got there, she opened the door, to find more people than normal crowding the pub, and for one she wasn't angry. "Jude, over here." She yelled, and Jude walked over to Erin. "Wow, got caught up in a storm eh?" She asked and Jude nodded.

"Hey bartender, can I get a drink?" Jude yelled, and Henry nodded. Henry placed a shot in front of Jude and one in front of Erin. "What's this for?" She asked and he chuckled.

"An early birthday shot for the both of you." He said smiling. "You know the drill, one tonight, two tomorrow night, and three on the third night." He said smiling and Jude took the shot, but had a sour look on her face.

"I hate shots sometimes." She said to him, and he nodded placing her usual drink in front of her. She graciously smiled and turned to Erin who had the same look on her face.

"Damn, I hate these sometimes." She said and Jude smiled. Jude heard a familiar song playing on the Jukebox and she smiled. "Hey, Henry. Two more please?" She asked him with her big green eyes and he poured two more, and placed them in front of her.

"I have to do this every time I hear this song, its a habit." She said downing both of the shots and getting up off of her stool and dragging Erin with her.

The two of them danced to the lyrics of Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and at the right time the entire pub would be screaming the lyrics with them. Jude dance, moving about that is until she bumped into someone. But, her stomach churned. She felt the knots being formed. Only one person did this to her. Her mind cringed for a second and she composed herself before turning around.

"Sorry." She said, her eyes instantly meeting his.

"I should have been watching where I was going." He said, almost fumbling his words. "Its good to see you girl." He said to her, and she blushed and a smile came over her face.

"You too Quincy. I thought your show was tonight." She said to him and he nodded.

"Its not until tomorrow night. I came here to get a drink, then head to the hotel. Jet lag." He said, getting comfortable in her presence.

"Get what you want at the bar, its on me. I have a huge tab here anyways." She said to him, and he smiled at her. She almost went weak in the knees but, she kept herself together.

"I've never seen you drink." He admitted and she gave him a devilish smile.

"I know how to hold my liquor after the incident the night of my sophomore release." She said to him, her face flushing. "My advice," she started to half-yell over the music. "get a shot of whiskey or vodka, and then go to your room. It will do the trick." She smirked at him, and he smirked back.

"I will do that." He half-yelled at her and headed towards the bar. Jude stood there, and watched his disappear to the stool that she had vacated about four minutes before.

"Who was that?" Erin asked, with that look in her eyes. It was the look that Jude hated because it meant that she'd found a nice piece of ass.

"My ex. Tom Quincy. He's in town on tour and doing a few side things. His hotel is my guess right around the corner. And, don't even think about it." Jude said, smirking at her.

"I thought you said he was your ex?" Erin asked and Jude smiled.

"I'm not over him, and I don't think I ever will be." She admitted, letting her head fall on Erin's shoulder. Just as Jude was about to muster up the courage to walk over there, her eyes grew big, as she saw a petite brown-headed girl make her way into the bar. She didn't look older than 15 or 16 and she made her way to Quincy. They hugged like they hadn't seen one another in years, and he was scolding her. Jude walked over to the bar, and took a seat, which happened to be the stool next to his. "Hey Henry, I need a beer." Jude said, and it caused a reaction from Tommy.

"It seems like fate has it in for us, doesn't it?" He whispered in her ear, causing her heart to skip a beat. "Jude, this is my little sister Hayley. Hayley, this is Jude." He said introducing them, and the girl looked like she was in shock.

"H-h-hi." She stuttered, as she took Jude's extended hand to shake it. Jude smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"What did you think I was meeting someone?" He whispered to her and she nodded. "Now why would I do that?" He asked her and she shrugged her shoulders. "Jude, I haven't dated anyone since you." He whispered, his lips brushing against her ear sending shivers up her spine.

"I have to go and get some sleep." She said rummaging through her bag for her wallet. She pulled out a rather large bill and called Henry down. "Hey, whatever they want its on me. I'm calling it a night." She said to him and he nodded. Jude watched as Tommy and Hayley were engrossed in a conversation and she slipped away unnoticed.

Once Jude got home, she immediately ripped off the long sleeve shirt she was wearing, kicked off her boots and took off her jeans. She headed towards the dryer and then pulled out some of Tommy's old red and black plaid flannel pajama pants and one of his old ratty black t-shirts she escaped Toronto with all those years ago. "What was I thinking, letting myself open up again?" She asked herself. She threw her hands up in the air, continued to pace around her living room. Erin was still out and probably not due back until right before dawn.

Jude had finally decided that pacing was no good. She eventually went into her room and crawled into her bed, where her husky, Kurt was already at. He moved over so that she could get into the large bed. She laid on top of the comforter and pulled a pillow from the other side and curled up with it, lying on her side and placing her legs around it. She felt the tears gently falling down. Jude felt Kurt move closer to her and she closed her eyes, letting the tears take her over and she fell into a deep sleep.

Jude woke up the next morning, with heavy eye lids and groggy eyes. She turned on the lamp and hit the alarm clock before it decided to go off. She made her way into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker, sitting on the counter and patiently waiting for the coffee to start. For once she was up earlier than she was supposed to bed. But, it was because of him. As Jude poured her cup of coffee she heard Kurt jump off the bed and make his way into the kitchen, greeting her with a lick on the foot, just like every day.

"You need to go outside don't you?" She asked him, and he ran to the door. Jude poured a cup of coffee and then went to the door, slipping on a pair of flip-flops and grabbing his lead. She walked him a few blocks, waiting for him to do his business when she felt the knots in her stomach churn again. She suddenly realized what today was and she hurried to get Kurt inside her apartment before Tommy showed up. She knew he was close by. He was probably out running or something. "Don't look at me like that." She said to him as they got back upstairs and she let him off of his lead.

"You left me." Erin said with a pouty face.

"There is coffee." Jude said and Erin perked up. "If I hadn't left when I did I would miss my performance, that is in oh say two hours. I have to go and get a shower." She said walking into her room. Jude rummaged through her closet and found her favorite medium blue faded washed jeans that were kind of ripped on the ends and black sequined spaghetti strap top that was almost backless and fell just below her butt and her converse. She knew the top would make EJ happy but, she would hate the rest of the outfit, which was precisely why she chose it.

Jude left the items on her bed and walked into her bathroom, and turned the hot water on and waited for just the right moment before cooling the water down a little. Jude reached under the cabinet and grabbed the box of red hair dye. "10 minute color." She said and she smiled to herself. Jude mixed the dye and applied the color before she stepped into the shower, keeping her head away from the water. She closed her eyes, and the scenes from last night flew through her mind. His breath on her skin, his lips grazing her ear. She shrugged them out and washed the dye out of her hair.

Jude quickly conditioned her hair and shaved her legs and jumped out of the shower, putting a towel on her hair and one around her body. She went into her room, and grabbed a black thong and put it on along with the rest of her clothes. She walked into the bathroom and unwrapped her hair from her towel and she smiled. The old Jude was back. Jude dried her hair and she walked back into the kitchen where Erin was making some semblance of breakfast.

"Holy hell. I like it." She said smiling and jude had curled some of it, leaving her bangs down on each side and pulled a few strands back into a barrette. "I didn't know you had red hair." Erin commented and Jude laughed.

"When I first came into the music scene I did. My sister and my mom both had platinum blond hair and I couldn't stand it so I turned it red, then I dyed it back before I started my sophomore album. I decided that it was time for a change." She said smiling, and Erin smiled.

"EJ called about five minutes ago. I told her you were up and doing your hair. She said as soon as you get done, to get your but down to the t.v. Studio." Erin told her and Jude walked over to the front door and grabbed her coat and purse and left.

Ten minutes late Jude arrived, hair still looking good and no make-up on knowing that EJ would have someone do it themselves. "Jude, you look amazing." EJ said, guiding her to the make-up chair. "Ok, this is how its going to work. You're both performing but you're going on first. They are going to call you out and you're going to tell them something, anything about the song and then you start performing. After that you're done. No harm no foul and you don't even have to talk to him if you don't want to. You have five minutes before you go on."

Jude felt them poking and prodding at her face but she kept her eyes closed. She went over the song, and what she was going to say in hear head. The only thing she knew was to let it all come out. Sure, she'd be creating a media circus but, maybe that was meant to happen. Maybe then Tommy would understand why she left when he heard this. Jude sighed. The make-up crew was done and the host had called her over. Jude got up and met her on the side of the set.

"I'd presume that you know one another right?" She asked and they nodded. "My photographer is going to take some pictures of the two of you. So look pretty and pose. Jude we will be ready for you in about five minutes." She said heading towards the stage.

"Well, this will be all over the news." He said and she chuckled a little.

"Okay, I'm going to take some posed stills and then some random ones during the performances as well." He said and Jude and Tommy posed for about a dozen pictures Jude got her cue.

"Okay everyone we have a treat for you today. Please help me welcome out Jude Harrison." She said and the audience burst into applause. Jude walked out onto the stage and she felt the lights hit her like a ton of bricks. "So, Jude explain to us how your new single 'Already Gone' was written, and the inspiration behind it?" She asked and Jude waited a moment to respond.

"I wrote 'Already Gone' five years ago right before my send off concert from back home. Most of you don't know but I was engaged to a man back home. A wonderful man and that night I was supposed to perform the basement song and we were supposed to live happily ever after but, that didn't happen. I got scared, and I ran. I ran away to the deal that was offered to me here and I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I mean leaving him behind. I wanted to live my rockstar dream and he didn't want that lifestyle so I decided to be independent and we were on our third try and I was so overwhelmed. But, this song is the most personal one I've ever written besides 'White Lines' which was on my second album or the basement song which only he has heard." She said, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

Jude saw Tommy staring in her direction but, she couldn't face him. She listened to the hose and she walked over to where the band was set up and she listened for the cue of the music. The lights and the people staring weren't the reasoning behind her hesitation. It was him. His eyes staring into her soul. She grimaced and looked down at the floor until her cute to sing came up.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die

Jude felt the tears sliding down her cheeks. She knew this was going to cause a media uproar but she couldn't help it. She closed her eyes, remembering all of her time at G-Major or at the rehearsal space with him. It felt like pangs in her heart to hurt like she did.

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop

Jude opened her eyes but her mind flashed back to the time in New Brunswick with his family. All she'd done was make things worse and get him arrested. Jude snapped out of her memory and she wiped a tear from her face, but more came to fall in its place. She looked in Tommy's direction and she could see tears.

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive

She grimaced at the thought of him with someone else but, she knew that it was for the better. They always ended up hurting one another but, as Jude looked back she did every other time but once, and that time she was asking for it. Everyone had it wrong, her mom, Sadie, even all of her friends. She was poison to him, he was right. Jude's mind wondered back to the night of her Sweet Sixteen. The most perfect kiss she'd ever had. To her that's when her poison set in.

You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

She felt the tears falling harder down her face, and she let her mind go back to that day in the church, when he'd finally opened up and told her about Angie. Then her mind went to that kiss in Darius' office. She grimaced at all the good times they'd had that she'd given up making more of them with him. She knew what she was giving up when she left but, after five years this song was making her question everything she'd been working for or against in her mind.

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Jude finished her song, and wiped the tears from her face. She left the stage, brushing right past him and making a bee line for the ladies room to clean herself up. She saw the make-up or what was left of it, but right now she was thankful for waterproof mascara. She'd started to pace. She paced until she heard a knock at the door. She pressed her back to it, sliding down, pulling her knees to her chest.

"Jude," He'd started to say but, he was interrupted. "Listen to my song." He said, and she heard him walking away, following the heels of the host's assistant.

Jude got up and she wiped the tears from her eyes. She paced for a good few minutes before she emerged from the bathroom, and down the hallway to the side of the set. She watched them talking, and he was talking about her. She perked her ears up, to listen more intently. "I wrote this song the night my engagement ended, to this girl who stole my heart 8 years ago. She taught me how to love again after a tragedy and we spent so long ignoring what we felt that when it was the right time, we fell apart. Until last night I hadn't spoken to her in five years. But, for that time my heart has always belonged to her, and I'm certain that it always will." He said, before he left where he was standing and walked over to where his band was set up.

Jude felt more tears about to spill from her eyes. Then she heard the music start.

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you
You say you're leaving as you look away
I know there's really nothing left to say
Just know I'm here whenever you need me I'll wait for you

The lyrics hit her dead in the heart. She felt her breath hitch in her throat before he continued singing. Jude's eyes were flowing with tears again. She'd never listened to his music because she didn't want reminders of what they had but this song, even though it was about her, was truly amazing. She knew he had talent but, this was pure and it was raw.

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

Five years, and he was still the same. He changed for the better when they met and she knew it. She just couldn't bring herself to admit it. It was her who ran, and now here he was after five years of not so much as speaking declaring his love for her again, just like the night he had proposed to her in the diner. She smiled and she reached into her pocket and pulled out the twisty tie. She smiled as she slipped it onto her finger.

Take your time, I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you

Oh and I'll let you go, I'll set your free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

I can't get close if you're not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul there
I can't face you, I can't save you
It's something you'll have to do

Jude smiled, thinking of the times she'd saved him from himself. But, never once had she let him save her from herself. Jude wiped away the tears, that now had given her tearstained cheeks. She knew that EJ would be furious with her for being this open and vulnerable in a public setting but, she couldn't help it. Jude knew what she had to do. But, her fears got the best of her.

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
Come back to me
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

You find you, come back to me
When you find you, come back to me
When you find you, come back to me

When Tommy finished his song, he looked for her. He looked for her all over and she wasn't there. He sighed and he walked off the stage, to meet his sister and Darius. "I thought your flight didn't land until later?" He asked and Darius stepped to the side to reveal Portia.

"I came here to see her. She tagged along." D said with his head hanging low.

"Have you seen Jude?" He asked and Hayley nodded.

"She left right before the final chorus. She asked me to give this to you but, I have no idea why." She said handing him a post-it note and the twisty tie.

4569 Revelo Place Apt. 34B

Once he read the note there was a smile plastered on his face. "I'll be at the stadium on time." He said, walking away from them, not even saying a goodbye.

Tommy stopped outside to catch his breath, and to think. He knew what this was going to lead to, and although he wanted that, he knew she wasn't coming home anytime soon. His mind was in overdrive and he didn't want this to be something the both of them would regret later.

As he was walking down the street he saw himself in the old BoyzAttack days. Either with some model on his arm, or dangling Portia like a medallion he'd won in a fight. Then came along Angie, and yeah he'd changed a little but it wasn't much. It wasn't enough for him to leave the fame and the fortune of performing. He thought about the night of the accident, and the night he lost her. He'd sat at home, and watched the damage on the television with Portia sitting right beside him, and comforting him. It made him sick.

Then he thought about Jude and how he'd changed. But, he'd hit the lowest of low by going after Sadie. She was in relentless pursuit and his twisted mind somehow thought that if he couldn't have Jude then why not her sister. But, there was no logic in that equation at all. In fact, all it made him look like was a pig. But, then came that kiss. The perfect kiss, one that only pushed his first with Angie down to number 2.

He'd called her poison, but he was wrong. Tommy didn't recognize the person that he'd become when he went back home. He was back to his old drunken ways, and the way they ended things then was wrong. And, he knew it in the back of his mind the only reason that they were even speaking was because of her album remix but, his mind could never stop thinking of her. Maybe that was why he went to the rehearsal space the next morning.

His mind was still in overdrive, as he walked. He felt the rain pounding down on him but, somehow it didn't matter to him because he was in the place that felt more like home, than his home did. If that makes any sense at all. He paused once he reached the stairs to her building. He paced for a minute then he finally buzzed her number. Without even asking who it was, he was buzzed into the building.

He took the stairs slowly, one at a time. Once he got to her door, his heart started pounding. And, this was worse than the night he lost Angie, or the night he said goodbye to Jude. He saw her shadow from under the crack of her door, and he could tell that she was pacing. She never ceased to amaze him, but he always wondered what she'd seen in a guy like him. Jude could have had anyone but, so could he. They both had fallen so hard they forgot to brace themselves for the harsh and cold reality.

But, he took a breath. He took two steps forward, and he rapped his hand against the door, knocking. She swung the door open, and he could see the tear stains on her cheeks. He could see what she gone through in the decision she'd made to leave, in her eyes right now. It sent pangs in his heart. "Jude, don't cry." He said to her, cupping her face in his hands and using his thumbs to wipe her tears away.

"I can't help it. I felt naked Tommy. I felt like I wasn't wearing anything at all. That song does that to me. I never let 'White Lines' do that to me, and I never let '2 A.M.' stand a chance at it. That was the most painful thing I've ever written but Tommy, it's also the most truthful too." She said, her breath hitching in her throat. Her head hung down low and she moved from the door of the apartment, letting him inside and shutting the door behind him.

"Jude, the song was amazing." He said to her, and she smiled. "It was all true but, one part." He said and she looked at him. He walked to the balcony doors and stared out of them for a long minute before he spoke again. "We are meant to be together. If we weren't, then m career wouldn't have placed us in the same city, again." He said to her, with the look he saved just for her on his face.

"I'm sorry that I ran. But, you didn't want that life anymore, and I wanted it. I knew if you came that Darius would have your ass and I didn't want that either. So, I ran. I was to young to get married, and everyone knows you aren't the marrying type." Jude said and Tommy got a pained look on his face.

"There is something you need to know. When I asked Angie to run away with me, I could never see myself marrying her. I love her but, not like I love you. Jude, I changed when I met you, and that change stayed. Ever since that kiss on your sixteenth birthday, I've seen a future with you, and that's why I ran. I never meant to hurt you, and I never will. You're it for me girl and, if I have to wait another five years to marry you then I will. I meant what I said at the restaurant five years ago. I want all of you, with me, forever." He said, and the tears were falling down her ivory cheeks.

Without thinking she ran towards him, and threw her arms around his neck. She let the tears keep falling on his shoulder, and she buried her head in the crook of his neck. "I love you so much right now." She whispered in his ear. His lips brushed against her ear, and she lifted her head, to meet his. He kissed the top of her head, then the tip of her nose. "By the way, that song was amazing Quincy." She said to him, and he smiled.

"I thought you'd like it." He whispered in her ear.

Jude released herself from his grasp to walk over to her stereo system and pull out an old vinyl of hers she'd brought with her, and placed it on the correct track. Then she walked back to him, and he placed his hands on her hips, bringing her body close to his and placing his arms around her waste as the music started to play. Jude's arms wrapped around his neck and she placed her head against his chest, and closed her eyes. They swayed to the music that both made them wo they are today.