Author's Note: My gods, I'm on a Firefly roll here. I had started this one only today and well….I got it finished pretty darned quick. Well…almost finished. The second bit will come later…a brief epilogue if you will.
Well, as usual, it's Rayne and it's funny. (Strange I always seem to like writing funny ones, I dunno!) Also its got some strong sexual content, so please be careful if you don't like this sort of thing. But my smut ain't as strong as some…but the warning is still there!
Note: This takes place before BDM…so Wash and Book are alive! Yay! Other than that I'm not sure where it would fit in.
Enjoy all the same.
Disturbances In The Night
He couldn't sleep.
For the forth (gorramit!) night in a row, the noise wouldn't let him have one second of shut eye. Mal Reynolds had hoped that tonight would be different as he lay draped in the sheets of his bed. Looking up at the ceiling, he waited, wishing that the quiet would continue on until he fell asleep, but it was only a matter of minutes before they started; the "bangs" reverberated through the walls and the deep growls and pants echoed from above his head, dashing his chances of much needed rest.
"Ignore it," he had thought as he stuffed the pillow over his face. "Ignore it and it will go away."
Of course it never would. It would get louder and louder and when the intensity of the screaming bellows joined in with it, there would be a brief momentary pause before starting up once again.
The furied and incensed Captain knew damned well who was causing this and resolved that this was the last time. He needed his sleep, he wanted his sleep and there was no way in the putrid-hot- arse-end-of-all-the-hells he was going to be kept up any more.
He threw the pillow across his bunkroom and leapt up from his bed. Not caring that he was only wearing his boxers and that his hair was ruffled like a crumpled and neglected bird's nest, Mal scooped up his belt and pulled the gun from its holster before climbing the ladder. He had locked the hatch as he did every night and it took him several angry ("made!") attempts to unlock it before throwing the hatch open. It nearly broke off its hinges.
The banging and growling was now accompanied by grunts, deep grunts that were ascending with gasping moans of pleasure and knowing who; what, and why only sickened the Captain to his stomach. He thought he was going to retch at the imagery of it, but instead he focused on unleashing his anger.
The hatches from the other bunks opened and Mal didn't notice that he had nearly stomped on Kaylee's hands as she too groggily pulled herself up from below.
"Cap'ain…is he still goin' at it?" came a groaning fatigued voice from behind long tangled locks. "It four am in the morn….if it ever is morn in the black."
"Sir…do you want me to shoot him as well?" asked Zoë as she and Wash stood by the culprit's hatch. Zoë, wearing her knee length night shirt, her hair haphazardly ruffled; was positively glistening from the sweat beaded on her dark skin and the fact that Wash was only wearing the bed sheets indicated they hadn't even been bothering to sleep.
"When I'm finished with that qing wa cao de liu mang, there won't be anything left to shoot!" Mal snarled.
"I still can't believe he was making more noise than we were." said Wash quite despondently, as he gently stroked at Zoë's arms. "I was giving you all my best moves too, baby."
"Not now, husband." Zoë hissed, when Mal threw a livid glare in their direction.
The horrid disturbances were now made even worse, when amidst all the groaning, words were crying out; words that chilled every member of the crew to their very bones.
"Ta ma de! FUCK! Oh GOD!"
"I do hope our resident merc isn't taking the lord's name in vain." said Book when he, Simon and even Inara, all came up the corridor.
"Jeez….even you can hear him, 'nara?" asked Kaylee pushing back her hair and glaring with puffy eyes.
"It's hard not to!" said the Companion as Mal then began to stomp again and again on the bunk hatch of Jayne Cobb. Mal's cussing was getting worse, as was the redness of rage that flushed across his skin.
Instantly Jayne's howling cries came to an abrupt end and thankfully from the exclaimed cussing, it wasn't because he had finished on his own.
Clunk.
Click. Mal cocked his gun as the hatch opened up.
The barrel was shoved in the sweating face of Jayne, who had a strange ambiguous look of anger and fear, seeing the entire crew looking down at him as he clutched a tiny sheet around his large nether regions.
They all began yelling, throwing endless cries of disgust and threats at him.
"Do you have to indulge in yourself at this time of morning?"
"It's all the more gross-ified when we has to hear it, Jayne! We are tryin' t' sleep y'know!"
"Son, surely you could curb your enthusiasm somewhat?"
"I'm actually traumatised at having to hear your simian howls!"
"Do you have to be so loud whilst my lambie-kins and I are trying to make noises of our own?"
"That ain't the point, Wash."
Some of the threats that followed weren't really original to Jayne any more. Airlocks and being spaced was the general theme and he had heard them all the time, but that didn't mean they wouldn't be followed through.
The seven were soon quietened when Mal smashed his fist against the wall. They winced when there was a slight crack and the sign of a little blood, but Mal continued on unperturbed by his injury. His lack of sleep was sending him crazy.
"Care to tell me what the gorram hell your problem is?!" yelled Mal, his good finger itching to pull on the trigger and his nostrils flaring widely. "Did you seriously not get enough whoring down on that ruttin' moon, that you have to keep me and my crew up whilst you tug on your gorram todger?!"
"I weren't making that much noise, was I?" he asked trying to sound innocent. The whine in his voice belied it, his fear seeping off him like a really bad smell.
"Oh please…" Simon grunted in disgust. "They could hear you all the way to Osiris!"
"Oi! A man has needs!" Jayne spat back at the doctor, his face scowling with detest.
"And I have a mighty need to make sure you don't ever have use of your hands or your privates again!" said Mal.
"The pressure is too much."
Mal's focus and anger were disrupted at the sound of a mumbling eerie voice.
Turning round, he saw the sleepy psychic coming up the corridor, her bare feet not keeping the graceful strides she normally adopted when she was awake, instead staggering in a haphazard manner. River was very groggy, but she was also shivering and sweating. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and paused for a moment, staring dazed with dreaded fear at the angry family as she became more alert. Simon rushed forward and wrapped his arms around her, sheltering her away from the horrible masturbator's presence. Gods she was shaking so much and the chokes were struggling to keep in her terror and sobs.
"It was all building up and up. No trim…no whores…stress was surmounting. The need to release…tug tug…pull pull…" River shuddered. "Rhythmic stimulation is all that can be done, only way to let it explode."
The crew all shuddered and protested at hearing details of Jayne's jerking, especially from River. However, they did all know that the young girl was able to read minds and there was no doubt that she had experienced the worst of the night's disturbances. Jayne's lurid mind and feelings as he pleasured himself were obviously so strong that it had invaded the telepath's sleep.
"Got to keep going." River said as Simon's face contorted to that of pure horror. "Faster, faster…it boils…it swells…so close, so near…he's going to burst!"
"Could she please shut up?!" yelled Mal, now covering both his ears with his hands. "I don't wanna hear that kinda of…grossness! I don't wanna hear anything more!"
"I second that, sir." said Zoë giving Jayne her most evil and disapproving stare.
"Now, Jayne you are…."
"He needs to keep going…he needs to feel stress free, the colours are too intense, too bright and must be released. Hot reds and oranges need to become white."
"Captain, make him stop thinking those things!" Simon pleaded as he wrapped his arms protectively around River's head. As if covering her ears was going to stop her from being able to read the merc's mind.
There was now a twitch in the Captain's eye. Everyone recognised it and even Simon guessed that this was getting very close to breaking point and Mal would be the one doing the breaking. Something of Jayne's he suspected.
"Are you gonna stop, Jayne?" Mal's voice so deep and low that the merc backed against the wall of his bunk. "Are ya for once this week, going to leave your dirty self alone and let me get some peace?"
"Mal I din't mean nuffin'….."
"Are you going to let me have my peace, or shall I let you have your everlastin' by puttin' a shiny hole in your head?"
"Yes, Mal." Jayne mumbled, much to the relief of the other members of the crew.
He bowed his head and from where she stood, Inara thought she noticed something different about him. Something wasn't quite right, but she simply couldn't place her finger on it. Simon coughed, loudly and with purposeful intent.
"Oh yeah…." Mal held the gun more tightly. "And don't be thinkin' any smutty or rude thoughts. The girl's gotta sleep too…so I'm orderin' you to think and dream about fluffy bunnies, pressed colourful flowers, sweet cotton candy and the likes…is that clear?"
"Aw Mal! I ain't gotta really…!"
"IS THAT CLEAR?"
"But Cap'ain, I-"
"NO MORE! I wanna hear not a bed squeak, not a poundin' headboard, I don't even wanna hear a peep of that snivelling gruntin' sound you call breathin' for the rest of this morn! Dong ma?!"
Jayne opened his mouth to protest again.
"Ah!" Mal's sharp warning tone made Jayne close his mouth and saunter back into the shadows of his den. Taking the further silence as an affirmative, the Captain closed the hatch with a relieved and pleasured sigh. When the fatigue came back to his surface, Mal let out a yawn and stretched, his gun and arms hanging loosely at his side as he staggered slowly back to his own. Through the haze of his tired vision, he took several more ("gorramit!") attempts to open his own door and clamber back down.
When the Captain's hatch slammed shut; the sweet sound of silence (save for the turning of the engine) washed over the ship.
"Does that mean we're not allowed to make any noise?" whispered Wash. He pulled the bed sheets further around him as the rest of the crew still stood dumbfounded in the corridor. "Did the Captain specifically mention that we couldn't make the bed squeak or the headboard….?"
"Wash…why don't you get something on and check the bridge? Make sure we ain't driftin'off course?" asked Zoë, grinning gently when he sighed and wandered back to their quarters. Zoë turned to the others and smiled. "Now that everythin' is peaceful, we'd all best get some sleep. Big job to do later on and I'd think it would be best for the Captain if we're all rested."
"Get no argument from me." said Kaylee scratching and making worse her tangles of hair. "Serenity is purrin' jus' fine. Night all."
She flopped her hand up in the air in a feeble attempt to wave before disappearing herself.
Sheppard Book shook his head at the events and only when Simon began to gently lead his sister away did he too follow. He noticed the puzzled expression on Inara's face, becoming concerned when she looked over her shoulder back towards Jayne's room. She wasn't the only one he was concerned for.
The young psychic was still shaking; she could barely stand up, clawing at her sweaty hair and mumbling.
"Need…must get release…sweet rapture…." River sunk against her brother and allowed him to walk her onwards. "Pull pull….must pull."
Book heard Simon curse Jayne Cobb with all manner of damning and vile names. Book then uttered a prayer of cleansing for both the doctor and the man who had traumatized the young girl with his thoughts. When the doctor confronts Jayne at breakfast, it wasn't going to go well.
Jayne paced his room, his hand twitching itching to do something, but Mal had said that any further noise from his bunk and things would not bode well for him. The air lock or a bullet in the brain, he wasn't going to let that happen.
But the urge was too much. He was aching.
He let slip the sheet from his waist and slumped down on the edge of his bed with his legs wide apart. (Dammit, he badly needed to finish off what was started.) He leant forward and rested his arms on his knees, flexing his big fingers to take a hold of himself and allow his palm to give him the release he desperately needed.
Clunk. Thud.
"I don't like it." he muttered. "I don't like bein' blamed for this all on my lonesome. It ain't right. Zoë and Wash at it like ruttin' bunnies…." Jayne cursed when a brief vision of fluffy cute bunnies flashed in his mind. Thankfully it was only for a few seconds before his urgent need came back to him. "Cap'ain don't complain about their noises! An' Wash howls like a prairie dog wots havin' his nuts jammed in a vice! That's enough to send shivers down any man's spine I'm tellin' ya!"
He closed his eyes and groaned.
Then he felt it; the soft touch on his leg crept up and up before resting on his thigh, stroking at his skin and sending a shuddering pulse of warmth all over his body. Light finger tips motioned in small circles upon him before nails began scratching round his hip and resting in between his legs.
"Need to release…need to finish what we started."
"What who started?!!" Jayne snarled angrily, flinching when the soft little hand grabbed a fierce agonizing grip on his balls. Another tight squeeze made his body jerk viciously. "Gorramit, girl…are you tryin' to get me killed?!"
He opened his eyes and the wide brown pupils gazing back at him were positively gleaming with menace and evil mischief. River Tam just smiled and squeezed in tighter between the merc's legs, her grip slowly loosening and beginning to massage his scrotum. His legs shook uncontrollably at her lithe ministrations and deep within his throat, a growl of pleasure was wanting to escape from his clenched mouth.
He wanted to tell her to stop, to push her away and order her back to her own room in the passenger dorm, but there was no way she was going to.
"You don't ever say no…you like it as much as I do." River released her hands from his balls, trailing a single finger lightly up his erection, smiling as it and Jayne reacted with a pleasing judder. His eyes clenched shut again and she felt his hands reach out and close his fists into her hair before pulling her face right against his chest. To which she responded by biting down on him, hard.
"O-!" Jayne clamped his mouth shut to prevent the rest of his scream from coming out and pulled back equally as hard on River's hair. He glared down at her, scornful and menacing.
"You gettin' hungry? Go and get somethin' from the damned kitchen! I ain't ya meal!"
"But you like it when I bite you." said River crawling up on to his lap and running her fingernails over his skin. His hands slipped from her hair whilst she clenched her legs against his to keep balance; she felt the straps of her night dress being pushed down.
"This is all kindsa wrong, girl." he murmured, lightly tugging the material off over her small but perfectly pert breasts. Jayne's hands went down with the dress, gently easing it until it and his hands rested on her hips. He leaned forward to her, placing his mouth beneath her chin and smattering kisses all along her jaw, his goatee tickling around her neck. She giggled, her head moved in reflex to the enticing feel of his hairs and her legs squeezed at his.
"You're not saying no." she breathed, licking her lips with blissful sighs at his kisses and at the grinding movements of his hands against the flesh of her bottom. She bit down on her lip for the sensation of his rock hardness stroking her belly and at his mouth as it crept down and down, smattering against her breasts.
"You're crazy…" he moaned through his teeth as they nipped hungrily at her stiffened nipples.
"Not the only one on this boat." she heaved out another blissful sigh and thrusted her chest against his face. The force of her push made him fall back into the rack of his guns, the cold metal of his "ladies" digging into his back.
"But you ain't the one that ever'one thinks is spankin' off an' disturbin' the gorram peace." his voice muffled against her sweating flesh. "You ain't the one that they're threatnin' to space or have their codger chopped off!"
"Got no codger…I'm a girl! 'Sides, you were the one who accepted this challenge." She smirked and squirmed in delight as his hands squeezed harder and his mouth ravaged her body with ferocious feral intent. She flopped her head onto his broad shoulder, contemplating on biting the skin and maybe shedding a little blood, but she was suddenly bombarded with immense sensations from him. Confliction of feelings, anger, desire, fear and affection? The past four nights they had engaged in this, for some reason unclear, but River knew that it was this or end up killing each other. Right now, she needed this just as much as he did. They needed to fight without resorting to slashing each other with knives or breaking bones with their fists…but was this way any better?
"Keep that gorram crazy mouth shut, girlie! Or I'll have to just make you scream!"
"Bet you can't." She said, defiantly.
"You want me to stick you with this knife and gut you out? Coz I will! Your yammerin' is startin' to piss me off!"
"As does most things. You so badly want to hurt this girl, poor Georgie Porgie! He can't kiss the girl and make her cry."
"Think I can't?"
"Know you can't."
"Well youse wrong, you loopy nut!"
It took a full fledged fight, an entanglement of punches, kicks and blows, to turn it into something neither of them expected. The screams hadn't been defined.
"You wanna scream?" He snarled, pushing her back to meet her gaze. "You still reckon I can't make ya?"
She didn't say anything, River just looked back at him with that infuriating smirk and in those wide eyes there was the dare, the challenge once again.
The gleam simply said "Why don't you try and make me?"
The End?