Luck and Ladders
"Well, do you have any Gobstones with you?" Lily asked, smiling indulgently at her boyfriend with vague amusement.
He patted his pockets and looked at her defiantly. "No."
She shook her head. "James, I'm sorry but you're going to have to go native." She stood on her tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the cheek before sidestepping him and kneeling to look under her bed.
They were in Cokeworth for the week. It was drizzling outside and Lily's parents had gone shopping for the day with Petunia and Vernon. Lily had to stop herself from laughing in her poor mother's face when she was asked if she wanted to come too. She had declined graciously and had only let out the sigh of relief when the door had closed behind the beige-coated backs of her parents.
It was a classic British autumn outside; wet and lukewarm. Lily and James were fresh from graduating Hogwarts and the summer had seemed to hold a new importance that it hadn't had before. It was no longer an interlude between school years, where one would while away the hours wishing to be back in Hogwarts' welcoming halls. Instead, it was a prelude to the rest of their life. There was a sense of potential lurking in these months; the possibilities of where they would go and what they would choose to do seemed almost endless. Choosing seemed daunting for the two 18-year olds and perhaps that's why they found themselves at a loss on this damp, grey afternoon.
James groaned as his girlfriend rifled under her bed for something. He resolutely stared out of her offensively-pink-draped windows to stop himself from being distracted by her, truthfully, very nice bottom.
"Can't we just watch your telly thing?"
"There's nothing on til tonight. Unless you want to watch Jackanory?"
"What's it about?"
"It's a children's show, James. For children."
James huffed but Lily knew James had been forced into submission.
"Don't worry, Doctor Who's on later, but for now- Aha!" She emerged from under the bed, her hair sticking up on end as she brandished a box at him.
"Snakes and ladders!" she said enthusiastically, getting to her feet.
James looked at her with a bemused sort of half-smile on his face. She waved the box at his face. He leant back, laughing a little.
"What is it?" he asked, pushing her away as she rattled the box under his nose.
"Snakes and ladders! It's a boardgame!"
"Does it have real snakes?"
Lily snorted.
"You know, sometimes, I forget you're a ridiculous posho wizard." She stepped on her tiptoes and pulled his head down to kiss him on the forehead. "I do love it when you're confused."
She led him by the hand out of her room, and down the carpeted staircase, which only added to the prevalent brown feel of the Evans' decor.
Pushing open the door to the living room, ignoring the TV which James was dying to investigate but too cool to say anything about, Lily dropped the box onto the floor and sat herself cross-legged on the shag pile. Sighing, with a subtle and yet longing look at the television once more, James sat opposite her, watching as she tipped the box unceremoniously upside down. Fidgeting, he grabbed the box lid from where it lay discarded on the floor.
"What is a boardgame?" he asked, reading the instructions with a furrowed brow.
Lily rolled her eyes.
"It's a game with a board, moron."
"I love it when you use your pet names for me."
She grinned and looked up at him, the board half unfolded in her hands. "Sorry," she shrugged. "It seemed obvious."
"Well that's what I said about Exploding Snap but apparently that's a lot more complicated than you'd think – OW!"
Lily threw a counter at him, hitting him squarely between the eyes. She laughed loudly as he rubbed the point of contact. He pouted a little as she continued to set out the game. She was nothing if not a perfectionist.
"It's not my fault you never win at Snap," he grumbled and again, Lily rolled her eyes.
"Shut up and play this." She said, straightening the board once more and grabbing the die from where it had landed near James' foot. "It's really easy and we won't offend Petunia or god forbid, the neighbours should they come a-knocking." She looked up at him with a loving smile. "It's time I showed you some muggle games anyway." She patted his knee and pointed at the pool of counters that rested in between them. The sixth one, the projectile that had hit James in the face, was now lost, behind the sofa, where James had thrown it.
James looked at the counters and back at her in bewilderment. She sighed.
"Choose one."
"What for?"
"To represent you, what else for?"
James stared at the brightly-coloured plastic cones intently. Lily sighed again.
"Merlin, James, I meant represent your move, not represent your bloody soul. Here," she handed him the red counter. "Have the Gryffindor colour."
He smiled happily as he cupped the little counter in his hand. He looked at it proudly. Lily couldn't help but smile at the childish boy in front of her as he whispered conspiratorially to the inanimate object, as if he was leading it into battle. James was a complete idiot sometimes, but he practically was The Man with the Child in His Eyes and there was something to be said for that.
She picked up the yellow counter and placed it on the board with a small flourish. "I'll be yellow," she grinned at him. "Goes with my hair."
James nodded and put his own counter down next to hers, watching it with slightly narrowed eyes as if it might desert him.
Lily looked from the counter and back to her boyfriend. "James, it's inanimate, it can't do anything without you."
He seemed a little taken aback as he looked from his counter to Lily and he nodded again, clearing his throat. "Yeah. Okay. I forgot. Muggle." He smiled sheepishly.
Lily looked at him fondly before returning to the game. It had been her favourite as a child. It didn't require much skill but the luck involved was enticing. Whole waves of possibility rolled over her; the nearer she got to the top, the closer she felt to winning. But she also had more to lose. It was interesting. And she liked the basic premise of the game, really; just go for it. It appealed to her Gryffindor nature.
She rolled the die and got a five. "Yes!" she exclaimed loudly, thrusting her hands into the air. She tossed the die to James. "If you get six, you go first," she explained, a little smugly, knowing that it was unlikely.
He rolled it, copying the way she had done it, with little fuss. He rolled a six. He looked up at Lily like a puppy who had just stumbled upon obedience. "Is that good?"
Lily looked a little disgruntled. Petunia never rolled a six. "Yes. It's good. You get to go first. Roll it again."
James looked a bit too smug for Lily's liking as he rolled the die again, coming up trumps with another six.
"Move your counter forward 6 places," she informed him, watching jealously as he did so. His luck was good apparently – beginner's luck.
She picked up the die from the floor and blew on it, her eyes closed.
"Why are you blowing on it?" James asked, his voice torn between amusement and indignation as he wondered whether she had neglected to tell him something important about the game.
She cracked open an eye to look at him seriously. "It's lucky."
He shot her his crooked grin almost indulgently. She opened both eyes and stared at him with irritation.
"It is lucky. Don't question my methods." She closed her eyes again and blew on the die once more. She shook it in her hands 3 times exactly before throwing it across the carpet. She watched it bounce on the board and clapped her hands when she, like James, got a six.
She whistled happily as she moved her counter up to meet his. "I love this game!"
"Lucky," James replied, side-eyeing her playfully. He rolled the die again.
They carried on this way for some time. James had climbed no less than 3 ladders whilst Lily had almost matched him square for square. She was only a little behind him now, having missed out on the last shorter ladder that James had ascended. She was not disheartened, however, because her cheeky blow hadn't failed yet. She simply refused to be unlucky.
James looked like he was going to win. He rolled the die, giving a cheeky blow on it and winking at Lily as he did so. She rolled her eyes at him even as her lips twitched into a reluctant smile.
"Just roll it, idiot."
He did so, rolling a six for the umpteenth time that day. Beginner's luck was closed to being renamed Bloody James Potter's luck.
"Yes!"
He leant forwards to push his counter forwards and his smile faltered. Lily leant in closer to watch and giggled with glee as James' counter came face to face with an infuriatingly gleeful snake.
James looked up at Lily for confirmation of his terrible fate. She nodded with mock solemnity.
"Nooooooo..." he whined, his fingers seemingly unable to perform the terrible task of slipping back down two rows. Lily shook her head and put her hand over his, moving the counter down. His bottom lip jutted out childishly.
"This game isn't fair."
"Nor is life."
James' eyes narrowed. "You could at least pretend to be sad about my untimely demise."
She looked up at him with a mixed expression. She knew what he meant had been innocent enough but demise...untimely? Those words? She shook the thoughts away and shrugged.
"Leaves me to win now, doesn't it?" she grinned, no trace of the worry she felt beginning to stir in her voice.
"It's not even a game of skill, I practically rolled all sixes." James crossed his arms over his chest as he continued to grumble.
"Well, maybe there's a point to luck in moderation." Lily rolled a 6 and moved forwards to the spot just before the infuriatingly gleeful snake.
"That's a load of old bollocks, who wants luck in moderation?" James leant back, uncrossing his arms and lounging casually on the carpet as he was handed the die. He shook his head.
"Go on, win it."
Lily shook her head. "Don't be stupid, I can't win it if you give up."
James exhaled deeply and grasped the hand Lily held out to him, holding the die between them as he pulled her forwards. He kissed her softly on the lips. She smiled, her nose brushing lightly against his.
"What's that for?"
He grinned boyishly. "No reason." He kissed again, pulling her closer this time and rolling onto his back. The die flew out from their hands as Lily had to catch herself from falling heavily onto her boyfriend.
"James," she laughed, "What are you doing?" Her long red hair tickled at his cheek as she leant above him, one arm propping her up, the other resting gently across James' chest. He pulled at a ribbon of her hair and teased at it between his fingers. He shook his head.
"I love you, y'know."
Lily tilted her head smugly, smirking a little. "I know."
He snorted quietly and leant up to kiss her again, pulling her down against him completely as he did so.
"Shall we call it a draw?" he murmured, as she rolled off, curling up against him, her head cradled by his shoulder. She could feel the gentle pull of her hair as he picked it up and played with the ends again. She chuckled.
"Fine. Only because you're a sore loser." She glanced up at him with a playful expression.
"Hey, it was luck! I should have won by rights." The smile on his face betrayed any actual annoyance in his voice.
"That's what everyone says, James. But somebody's bad luck is another person's good luck."
James frowned, though Lily couldn't see it.
"That's a very wise thought, Evans." He stopped playing with her hair and rested his hand on her shoulder. "Something wrong?"
She pinched his side hard with her nails, making him "oof" audibly.
"No. Nothing's wrong," she replied sweetly, earning a glare from the injured party. She nestled into him more, relishing his warmth. They fell into a comfortable silence, the sound of the rain pattering against the windows lulling them into a sleepy contentment.
"I wish we could stay like this forever," Lily purred, after a while.
James smiled to himself and flicked her arm. "We'd never get anywhere. We'd be that weird couple who stayed on the carpet for eternity. We'd waste away."
Lily laughed. "Mum would feed us. All she'd have to do is hand us cherry bakewells on the hour and you'd be satisfied."
James looked down at her reproachfully. "Not that satisfied. This is your parents' living room after all."
Lily laughed loudly at that and slapped his stomach. "Prat."
"You are."
"Good one."
"Thanks."
They spent a few more moments in silence, lying with each other, the game of Snakes and Ladders lying discarded in mid-play.
James trailed his fingers up Lily's arm and sighed.
"We're going to have to choose aren't we?"
Lily raised her head curiously. "What?"
"We're going to have to choose. To join the Order...or you know...not?"
Lily's expression looked just as confused as his did but as she rested her head back against him with a small "hmm", she knew just what her decision would be. The fact remained, as hard as it was to live in fear and face the threat of oblivion, her life would be so much less if she didn't fight for it. She would not go down easily; she simply refused. The only problem was James – what if he chose the quiet life? She loved him deeply but would they have to break up anyway?
"I want to fight." They both blurted it out at the same time. Lily sat up and James bit his lip.
"You do?" Lily looked at him seriously. "You really want to?"
James nodded. "I really want to. I can't sit idly by and –" Lily cut him off, meeting his lips with her own as she kissed him desperately.
"I love you, James Potter, I really fucking love you," she whispered. The relief was overwhelming. They had made the same choice, after skirting around it for months. She had worried, contemplating break up scenes and on one particularly distressing occasion, dwelling on nightmarish scenes, where either she or James died and she had done nothing to stop it. She never was going to choose the easy life but now she knew James wanted to fight to – they'd be there for each other. She had him by her side. Any trepidation she had was forgotten in this one perfect moment of relief.
James laughed. "Wow-" His mouth opened and closed stupidly as if he had something to add but he foundered. "Wow."
She laughed too and kissed him again. "We should tell Dumbledore." She said, in between kisses.
"Don't talk about him now," James whined, his hands winding themselves through her hair as he held her close to him. He kissed her more passionately and more deeply than before.
It was only when Lily's hand reached up and hit the now-irrelevant Snakes and Ladders board that she realised just where she was. Somehow she had manoeuvred herself so she was straddling James on the floor. She sat up properly, smoothing down her hair and she dismounted (as it very much were). A blush crept up on her face.
"What's wrong?" James sat up, propping himself up on his elbows as Lily grabbed the boardgame and packed it away hastily, in what was an obvious attempt to emulate the effects of a cold shower.
"I'm not shagging you on my mum's shag pile."
"But it's so comfortable," James grinned, trying to pull Lily back down. She laughed but resisted, slapping his hands away as she giggled.
"Stop it, stop, I'm trying to-" She fell back down beside James, her back to his chest as he kissed her neck. She shifted over to face him. Her eyes gazed at his face with a nostalgic, fond sort of smile. She touched his cheek.
"I do love you. I mean it. I'm glad you want to join too."
James nodded, the same crooked, childish grin she had come to love adorning his stupid handsome face.
"To be honest, Lil, I'm just happy we've found something we can finally agree on."
She rolled her eyes yet again and hit him but she was so happy, she couldn't stop herself from laughing. The fear that had accompanied the big choice had gone, making way for a sense of relief that James would be with her, walking beside her, along the path she had chosen. As she kissed him, she knew what this feeling reminded her of. She had climbed the first ladder. She was lucky. It was funny how often luck and James Potter seemed to go hand in hand. From that day on, she stopped believing quite so much in luck and quite a lot more in James because it seemed that he was the reason she was going to win. He was the reason she was climbing ladders at all.