Chapter 1
The Voices
This tale is about a girl. A troubled girl. A strange girl. A beautifully, dark girl.
She is mad.
She is Alice.
Make it stop. Make the voices stop. Nothing I do helps. The Medication make it worse, but they say I'm making progress with my treatment. I feel like a million little needles are piercing my skull. The kind of pain you only here about from after surgery patients. My Friends in white say they can help me with all of the problems I'm have, but so far nothing works. They say they can fix me up and get the real me back. I don't think they really care. They put me here, in Hell. I want out, but first the voices. The voices need to stop, before I leave.
I glance up at the florescent lighting above me. It starts to flicker in a way that would drive anyone mad. I move my gaze from the light fixture to the video camera hanging just to the right of me. I shift my weight from side to side. The pure white padding underneath my feet deflates and re-expands. That's all I see anymore. White. They say it will help with the voices. The more color I'm exposed to the more the voices talk. That's why I'm dressed in it. White dress with white sleeves and a white hem, and it's all lined with white lace. That's what my friends in white dress me in. If you were to ask me if I think it helps in the slightest, I would have said no. I loved the colors I saw outside. But it's been a year since I've seen the outside of the revival clinic. I've been trying to get out and see the grounds, but that's only for the patients who have undergone "The Final Step."
I get down on my hands and knees, and I pick at the stitches that seem to hold the room together. If only I could see sun light. I stare at the stitches go crisscross, crisscross, crisscross, crosscriss, crosscriss crosscriss. So small, and prefect. I wonder what it's like to be a stitch on the wall. I start to think about what I would find if I peeled back all the padding. Would I find a way out? Or find color from the other people that had lived in this room before me. I continue to do this until I relies that I'm not doing anything. They won't come out. I'm just wasting my time. I feel depression spilling over me. Nothing I do will make the difference, and I spent all that time just to be disappointed again.
But, how much time did you really spend Alice?
"Oh, I suppose no longer than an hour," I say to the voice
But then I stop to think about it. I have no real means of telling time. What if I spent hours even days without stopping, without eating? Would my friends let me do that? What if. The possibilities of anything or nothing happening over the span of a day. Anything possible or impossible could have happened, and I wasted it picking at stitching. I am pathetic.
I crawled over to the nearest corner and hugged my legs to my chest. I gently lay my forehead on my knees. Why does the voice do this to me? If I could just stop hearing it, if I could just stop feeling this way I could be at peace like the other friends I see. They get to sit and "socialize" with each other. They get to see the grounds. The only thing that worries me is that they all have a plank, disturbed looks on their faces. They never talk, but I bet they don't hear the voices. Just quiet. I longed to hear that silence.
I know I don't want to waste anymore "Nothing or Anything" days. If I could just find my way out of this place. Maybe I could even finish treatment without "Personal Time". I could be without the voices. I could be at peace. Just like my friends.
Are they really at peace? Do you believe that they will let the real you survive?
"It doesn't matter just as long as you're gone."
But just think for a minute Alice, would it be so bad to have me if they didn't punish you? Would you hate me so much if you were in a different place where they worship people that have gifts like you?
"I can't afford to think like that. They would place me in extreme treatment."
Could it really get any worse than it already is Alice? Just stop and think. Who is really making you feel the way you do about me? Is it you? Me? Your "Friends"?
"I said stop I just need to get through treatment the easy way."
But Alice there is no easy way. You either fight or lose the true Alice.
All of the sudden I feel a skull cracking wave of pain wash over me.
"STOP, STOP COMING BACK! YOU JUST MAKE TREATMENT HARD! YOU'RE THE REASON I'M HERE RIGHT NOW. SO, LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK." I scream at the top of my lungs.
I smack my head with my hands as hard as I can, but it's not enough to make it stop.
You think they'll fix you, don't you? They can't. Even if you can't hear me, you won't get the real you back anytime soon.
I stand and ram my head against the wall. The pain doesn't subside, and all I see is blurred florescence. I steady myself against the wall, and I lean in, and I just barely touch my forehead on the pads stitched to the wall. I feel the blood dripping from my hairline. I fall slowly to my knees. I raise my head just enough to see the deep, rose like color streaking down the white cotton. The color red. So pretty. The burning pain seemed to quell the voice for now, so I could finally enjoy color. I smile. I haven't smiled like this in a long time. I stand there smiling staring at the red stitches going crisscross, crisscross, crosscriss, crosscriss.
Suddenly my friends in white rush from behind a padded door that I forget is even there. They grab my wrists and pinned me down. I screamed. I screamed for the vibrant, but taboo, color, and the almost forgotten feeling of pure happiness. All I want is the quiet, and they're ruining my moment. My friends put something in my mouth, and they also confined my hands to some sort of restraints. All I could do was cry, and try to think about the color that was now forever implanted in my highly dazed head.
Did it help?
The voice had returned so quickly. But no. No, it hadn't helped.
Hey guys! I'm going to try really really super hard with story!
So if you can't tell already, this is a spin-off of Alice in Wonderland. I plan to make this very dark and creepy, so stay tuned for more.
I will also say this now before the questions start, Alice's "Friends" are the other inmates and nurses. Make sure to tell me if I made that was clear enough. I am so paranoid about everything in my stories being understandable. I've been told that I'm hard to comprehend.
Blah. I try.
Comments are like gold to me. I would also like to thank everyone who decides or has decided to follow me. Thank you all soooo much!
Love you
~Joykill~