A/N: Hello everyone! I hope I'll be able to greet those of you who were around to read Just an Ordinary Vampire Life when I just published it! For those of you who were not around then, welcome to its (long awaited) sequel! Therefore, if you haven't read that one yet, I sincerely recommend you do, although I guess you can read this on its own, as it is the same story, told from Harry's perspective. This is not going to be a one-shot (of 20.000+ words, lol), but a short story, no longer than 5 chapters. Or at least, that's what I'm aiming for here. Please enjoy :D.
Disclaimer: Ahhh, if only Harry and Draco really were mine, they really would get together. That'd be heaven for a girl like me. As such a day will not come, save for in fanfiction, I rue the fact these characters are not mine. I just borrow them and play around with them to fulfill my own fantasies :).
It had been a beautiful spring day when I wandered about Diagon Alley. Almost unnaturally so, with white clouds sporadically appearing, but never clouding together, which made for a clear day, full of sun and warmth. Teddy's birthday was approaching, and I wanted to find a birthday present for the first time. After all, it was nearly his first birthday. I felt excited and anxious, as I had never before done anything like it. It had almost been a year since the Battle of Hogwarts already, and I still didn't really know my place in this world. In fact, I was still searching around, trying to find a place which I could belong to. Of course several offers were brought my way, but I never really responded to any of them. For the time being, I wanted some time to myself, to sort things out. As I had problems walking out and about, what with me being Harry Potter, I moved around in the darkest alleyways, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, sticking to the shadows as much as I was able to. It was hard, trying to decide what to pick for a one-year-old. Especially a one-year-old child growing up in the magical world.
As I was considering where to go and what to buy, I heard something clatter on the cobblestones. Of course such sounds were frequent on busy streets and even in the back alleys, so I didn't pay it that much attention. Until I heard a muffled scream. Rounding a few corners, I finally came upon the scene unfolding in front of me. A person clad all in black had pressed another person firmly to the wall, locking him in place. Judging from the terrified expression of the man pinned to the wall, the encounter was everything but wanted. Without thinking about it, I hurled a Stunning spell to the dark-cloaked stranger. However, the stranger moved way faster than I anticipated, almost faster than humanly possible. Almost without me noticing it, he slipped away, his cloak billowing behind him. The other man who had been pinned to the wall only seconds before slumped down the wall unto the stones, unconscious. It took me a few seconds to rouse myself from my stupor and run over to the stranger who was lying face-down on the cold stones. I put the wand back in my pocket and turned the stranger around.
Blond hair cascaded over slightly pointy features. Features I was very, very familiar with. Shocked, I stared at the pale face for a few seconds, before reaching down to the hand splayed on the ground, searching for a pulse. Heaving a sigh of relief, I gently picked the unconscious body up off the cobblestones and Apparated to St Mungo's. I was barely standing in the room for a few seconds, before the body in my arms was carted off and people started to ask me all kinds of questions. Answering them as best as I could, I tried to recall as much as I could, though I felt it was quite lacking in detail. The only thing I could manage to tell was that "a dark-cloaked stranger attacked him and pushed him against the wall". I felt pathetic as I couldn't even describe the stranger, besides his "dark cloak" and his "quick speed". Some Healers quickly jotted down what I said, nodding and sometimes asking questions when something wasn't clear. After I told them everything, they nodded and left their business card, in case something came to mind. I thanked them and Apparated back to Diagon Alley. More specifically, I Apparated to the place I had been before, where everything happened earlier on that day. As I appeared, I noticed something lying on the ground, something I didn't see in the hassle before. As I got closer to it, I realised it was a wand. When I picked it up, the wand felt familiar in my hand. And I immediately knew whom it belonged to.
The nostalgic feeling of once possessing the wand coursed through me, which brought back many memories. The last time I was in possession of it was at the trial of the Malfoys, for which I had testified.
It was a few months after the war. The dead were properly buried, goodbyes had been said and the mourning had come and gone. For the most part, at least. After it had calmed down, the trials of the people involved in the war came along. The Malfoys were among the few families who appeared on trial.
I rolled the wand in the palm of my hand, contemplating. The trial wasn't a harsh one, compared to some of the others, but it was definitely a tough one. I was the only one in favour of their pardon, and even though their last minute switching of loyalty earned them some lenience, their fall from grace was unmistakable. It had been an unbearably hot day, I remembered. Faces were more annoyed and taut compared to the other trials I had gone to. Trials for which Ron and Hermione also had to appear, though both of them refused to come to this one, with Ron muttering "we've saved that ferret several times already. He bloody well deserves what's coming to him now". Somehow I couldn't agree with them there, which earned me some foul looks and shrugs. I knew deep down that I was indeed being too lenient, but I simply couldn't help it. It somehow felt like it was the right thing to do. Besides, I was still in possession of Draco's wand and would like to hand it back, as it wasn't mine. The wand which had saved my life in many ways, simply by changing masters and hands.
I was roused out of my stupor when the doors flew open and the Malfoys were brought in. Even I involuntarily cringed at the sight of aristocrats, fallen from grace. The three of them seemed haggard, tired and ill, with pale skin and dark bags beneath their eyes. Narcissa Malfoy clearly tried to cover it up with make-up, but even I could see the signs of fatigue underneath it. In the warm room, where everyone was sweating and faces were red because of the unbearable heat, the only people who seemed like they were about to frost over were the Malfoys. I still didn't quite agree with how things went in the courtroom, but at least it was much better compared to the last few times I had been in the building. Now, people actually listened to both sides and gave a fair trial, instead of the faulty ones before.
For the most part of the trial, I sat quietly, listening absentmindedly, observing the people who faced trial. Their faces clearly indicated that having the Dark Lord living in your house sounded better than the actual thing happening. Of course, having a Dark Lord after you also gave rise to stress, but being the centre of the actual operation must've been horrible as well. That's how I felt as I looked at the pitiable faces before me, though Lucius' face was still trying to maintain the air of disdain he wore before, even though it looked out of place and odd on the haggard face. Narcissa wore her head high with pride, but not in as much of an arrogant angle as Lucius' seemed to be. And Draco looked as if he would rather disappear than spend another minute in the room full of whispering figures. To be fair, I couldn't blame him. If I stood in his place for the same reasons I probably wouldn't be able to bear it. No friends, no allies, only bureaucrats looking down on you, willing to get this over with as quickly as possible. For them, you were only an object to be judged, weighed on the scale of "good" or "bad". And the Malfoys leaned more towards the "bad" side of the scale.
Eventually the time came for me to come forward and tell them a piece of my mind. It was nerve-wracking, having all eyes on me, some with admiration, others with barely disguised disgust as I walked forward, prepared to defend the Malfoy family. Even I had to chuckle bitterly to myself. Never had I figured the day would come I would defend the family of my rival. But then again, we weren't children anymore. We both went through events even most adults wouldn't have had to face. Besides, Narcissa was practically the one who saved me from death. One word from her, and in that moment Harry Potter would simply cease to exist. Of course I knew Narcissa did in in her self-interest, but she still would've faced a fate worse than death had Voldemort realised she was lying right to his face. Lying right to the face of a great Legilimens, who would've been able to see right through her lies. But still she did it, and somehow that reminded me of my own mother, how she protected me while her own life was on the line. Besides that, even before Draco was reluctant to betray us when we were brought to Malfoy Manor. It just proved we weren't children anymore and the impact words or actions could have were becoming clearer and clearer. No more childish bickering, accusations or pranks. Words could actually lead to the end of a life, and a mere flick of the wand would've done the trick.
So, no, if asked, I'd definitely reply the Malfoys had done more good than evil the last year, though I'd be loath to say the same about the years before, of course. And I was wholly prepared to tell exactly that to the crowded room, as I was called forward to testify. My heart started beating faster as the near-soulless eyes looked into mine. I couldn't even imagine how they would've felt, with the only person able to help them being the person their Lord tried countless times to bring to an end. Maybe it was even kind of ironic, a circle coming to an end. And so, I spoke, occasionally wiping the sweat from my brow, trying to phrase everything just right, in the correct order. Of course many faces still flinched when I held up the wand of Draco Malfoy and said it aided me in defeating Voldemort. I explained and described, trying to say as much as possible in their favour, though I tried to be as concrete as possible. If there was one thing bureaucrats hated, it was a story with too much "gibberish". It had to be concrete and short, to the point. I lifted my head as high as I could, not willing to stand down. How I wished Ron and Hermione were there with me, if only to give me their support. Maybe even correct or add to things I probably forgot in the heat of things, both then and now.
When I finished everything I could add, the stream of question seemed endless. 'Yes, Narcissa Malfoy did indeed lie to Voldemort when she told him I was dead, thus saving my life.' 'Yes, Draco Malfoy did indeed lie about my identity and my friends'.' 'No, I was not placed under any curses whatsoever, as checked by St Mungo's.' Some questions were ridiculous, others outrageous and some I even chose to ignore, as they were rude and not even related to the current case. At the end, when all questions had been asked and answered, I sagged, the heat getting to me. A glass of water stood at my side, and I gulped down the liquid as if I had wandered around in the desert for days, without any water in sight. A tiny oasis in a barren land, devoid of life and anything nurturing. Of course the Malfoys were sent away, without a proper conclusion being reached. Until the courtroom could give them a proper sentence, they were sent back to their home, with house arrest for the time being. As they were nearly ushered out of the room, I rushed forward, ignoring the affronted looks some of the people around were giving me. I didn't care what kind of impression I made, how unbefitting I seemed, rushing to the front, to the Malfoys, whom I had just testified for. There was only one thing I came to do. Standing in front of them, their appearance seemed that much worse compared to where I stood, far removed from the people currently standing before me. As expected, some sort of guard immediately denied me access to them, which annoyed me. Flicking out the wand I had carried around for a while, I looked at the man, annoyed. "I just came to deliver this to its rightful owner. After all, this is the thing which saved me." I shifted my eyes to the dull, almost lifeless grey eyes of the owner of the wand.
In that moment, I only focused on that one person, not even caring what happened around me. It was weird, how a person I loathed so much suddenly almost made me feel glad he was alive. If not for him, well, a lot of things would be different, and my life would have an alternate outcome. Somehow, things always fell in place around him, mostly in a bad way, but it always worked out well enough. Being in the wrong places at the wrong times, doing the wrong things, making bad decisions, all trying to survive. While also being in the right places, in the right times, doing the right things, making the right decisions. So many things had led up to this very moment, where we could both look at each other, neither of us dead, thanks to the others' actions and decisions. And it made me feel very humble indeed.
Of course I knew the youngest Malfoy was only doing things out of fear and frustration, probably not even thinking things through, only acting on instinct at that time. But even so, he still did things that would be right for him, though it might've been assumptions on my part, trying to rationalise everything, wanting to make him out to be a better person than he probably was. It was the gap of knowledge about him which made me unable to grasp him, how he worked, what motivated him and what seemed likely to be ethically correct. One did not usually lie about the other person not being Harry Potter, while the punishment would probably be worse than death itself, were such a lie to ever be caught. Of course matters beyond that were mostly out of both of our hands, but still, some actions had had immediate effect on how I was able to stay alive. And the same goes for him, where I saved him countless times and I got his back, though I had been reluctant to do so. But of course I had acted on what felt right, what I would be able to live with. I would like to believe he had done it for similar reasons himself. It would be so much better if it was. It would make me feel better; knowing that the wand I was about to hand over would be back in the right hands, where it would be used for good things, instead of the bad things it might've once held.
Heaving a huge breath, I slowly let it out, not once taking my eyes off of the ones before me. "I'm sorry I did not take as good care of it as I would've with my own. It might've gotten a bit beaten up, I'm afraid." I tried to give him a lopsided grin, but he still stared at me, emotionless. I grimaced internally. Never mind about me, how was the person in front of me, just a bit over a month older than me, supposed to live life after this war, after everything that happened. Almost wincing, I thought he had to figure it out himself, to make a path he himself would not regret to walk. Steeling myself, I did not want to let this person standing there, staring at me with the steel grey eyes, which had never looked so dull before, down. Usually they looked bright with spite, shining with one scheme or another behind them, ready to get me in trouble any time of day. It almost made me chuckle, with how childish those days seemed to be. "I hope you'll be able to give it better care than I was able to give it. And I'm sorry to have taken something so precious from you. But thank you so much for being there, for being the person who was in possession of this wand, from whom I was able to take it from and use it to the best of my abilities. I hope you will use it for no lesser reasons. I appreciate it, and I appreciate you being here. For giving me the opportunity to finish the things I set out since long ago to do."
I took another breath of air, feeling the sweat trickle down my face. I didn't think the warm weather was entirely to blame for it. The room around me was so silent, I was sure I'd be able to hear a needle drop. Some photographers and press were probably nearby, noting all I said. But I didn't feel bad about it. In fact, I wanted them to record it. Maybe then, finally, change was possible. If I was able to forgive him, some might be able to accept it, too. Of course I wasn't naïve enough to think everyone would follow my lead, but even one person extra was enough for me. "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for giving me the one tool I needed. And thank you, for saving my life those times." I handed the wand over with slightly trembling hands, my eyes on the wood lying calmly in my hands. The one thing which enabled me to come this far, the one thing which aided me so much that even standing here wasn't a miracle, but simply something that was brought along with willpower and luck. I looked up as I still didn't notice hands coming forward to take what was his. And what I saw made me swallow.
The dull grey eyes were no more. Though they glistened with unshed tears, new light shone in them, light which would surely help him move forward. And bit by bit, the spindly white fingers crept forward, shaking as they grazed against my palms and gently lifted the wand out of my hands, though the voice which replied to me was anything but shaky. "No, thank you, for everything you've done for me. For us. If such a thing was of help to you, then that's enough."
I was a bit sad to slowly see the wand go, but it was for the best, as it was back in the hands of its rightful owner. I nodded, in recognition to his words, before I turned my head to the tall woman standing before me. "Mrs Malfoy, I cannot thank you enough for what you've done for me in those final moments. Without you, it would've been unlikely I would still be standing here. Thank you for doing so much for me. I hope your sentence will be a fortunate one." Nodding, I stepped back. "Well, then, excuse me." With a small bow to the Malfoy family, I turned on my heel and left the dreary room, breathing in the cooler air as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. A headache was slowly but surely blooming behind my eyes, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to stave it off as I took a turn, which would lead me in a different direction than the one people usually took if they wanted to return home. If there was one thing I came to know about these trials, it's that people like reporters jumped on it like a starving eagle on prey. And of course I was their biggest prey, as I left the room and wanted to return home, only to be greeted with photo cameras and half-crazed eyes, mouths opening to let out a stream of questions. Questions I was unwilling or unable to answer. So I always quietly snuck out after trials so I could return home in relative peace. Every now and then, being famous had its privileges.
Deciding to keep the wand for later, I absentmindedly walked in a store and bought the thing I set out to buy. In the end, what I carried in my hands was a simple stuffed teddy bear. It was very cute, but other than that completely normal. Apparating back to St Mungo's was something I didn't want to make a habit of. Though I guess I had to, if I actually wanted to answer the formal letter currently at home. Walking up to the reception, I delivered the wand, explaining the situation that took place before. Almost as an afterthought, I told them to contact me to keep me updated. As such, I handed them my contact information before going back home, the teddy bear propped up against my side.
When I got home, Ginny was sitting on the couch, reading a book. When she noticed I was there, she smiled at me and I bent down to give her a kiss on her cheek.
"Were you able to buy something for Teddy today?"
Grinning, I put the teddy bear in her line of sight. "That I did." Setting the plush toy down on a table, I sank down on the couch.
"What happened?" Her brown eyes looked at me concernedly.
I chuckled for a bit, rubbing the bridge of my nose before sighing. "Something strange happened today. I mean, how often is someone attacked in Diagon Alley at this time of day? And before that, why are people still being attacked, even though Voldemort no longer exists in this world? I don't get it, Ginny… What did I fight for, then?"
Her white hand reached out to me and rubbed my shoulder, encouraging me to go on. I gave her a short smile, before continuing. "So, I was just walking around, trying to think of a store to go into to get Teddy's present. Basically, I was wandering about, not really knowing where to go, as I usually don't have any business with stores that sell toys. As I was walking, I heard something clatter on the floor. Because, you know, it's not uncommon for something to fall down on the stones, I walked on, paying it no heed. But shortly after, I heard a muffled scream. Without even thinking about it, I just tried to find the source of the scream as soon as possible, trying to arrive at the scene as fast as I could. As I arrived, I found someone pinned to the wall, with someone wearing a cloak being the person who pinned the other down. So of course I tried to stun that person. But before I could, he was already gone. I nearly wanted to chase him down, but I couldn't. Because the person had fallen down and was clearly unconscious." Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, thinking back to this afternoon.
"So, I wanted to check up on him, to see if I could be of help. And as I turned him around, it was none other than Draco Malfoy."
When I mentioned that name, Ginny's face turned sour. And besides a small sound of dissatisfaction, she let me continue.
"He looked so pale as he was lying there. For a moment I was really scared he had died, but when I searched for a pulse, it was there. So I Apparated to St Mungo's and handed him over. After that, I found his wand in the alley and went back to deliver it, before coming here." The pale face with the blond hair, twisted in terror appeared in my mind again, and I had to swallow for a bit. It's not that I never expected to see the blond again; it's just that I thought it would be under different circumstances. Not one where we were thrown back in time where one had to save the other. Of course many probably had grudges against the Malfoys, as their sentence had been a mild one. In fact, many people were dissatisfied with the outcome. But whichever way you looked at it. The Malfoys had kept a low profile after that, not even appearing in public. In fact, it had almost seemed as if they had dropped off of the face of Earth. But people were spiteful beings, stopping at nothing before they got their satisfaction. Besides, the pale face, drained of blood reminded me too much of that day I first used Sectumsempra. I vowed never to make such a mistake again. So, seeing the same deathly pale face in almost the same condition, it gave me a huge shock. I wondered how long the imprint of it would linger in my mind. I grimaced, before I glanced over at Ginny.
She had a frown on her face, and it looked like she was repressing the thing she wanted to say. Mentioning the Malfoy name usually put a dissatisfied expression on most people's faces. And such a thing was, of course, quite logical, considering the things they'd done. And maybe, just maybe I would have been the same, had it not been for the fact I saw up close and personal the pain and suffering of the youngest one. Had I not seen him lowering his wand, or the hesitation in his eyes when he was to recognise me at the Manor, would I also still linger on thoughts of the past, never thinking a person could move on from their childish school days? The answer to those questions scared me a lot, because it made me feel like the world I live in was still a very narrow thing, never expanding, always staying the same. Looking in the brown eyes of Ginny, I silently asked myself if this, too, was my narrow-mindedness. And that hurt a lot. Because it's something I had been struggling with for years. Was it true, genuine love I felt for her, as a woman, and not as Ron's little sister? Still having these doubts made my heart grow anxious. Even now my life felt very shaky and unstable. Trying to recover from it was no easy feat. Though there was a small part of exhilaration that ran through my veins at the thought of the unknown, the freedom I had.
"Malfoy, you say? Harry, I told you to just let it go. You've got nothing to do with him anymore. You've already done more than enough for them. It's nice of you to save him once again, but you shouldn't be so bothered about it. St Mungo's is probably able to handle it. So you don't have to worry about it anymore." Her thumb traced along my cheekbone, her warm brown eyes concerned for me. It's the look I hated the most. The pitying look I got when people told me not to think about things.
Gently grabbing her hand, I put it back down in her lap. "I can't help it, Ginny. We've gone to the same school for years. And who's to say our paths wouldn't cross some other time in life, like it did today? I'd like to think of him as a person, too. One who makes mistakes and learns from them to improve in his own way. I've seen it happen myself, Ginny. It feels wrong to simply cast him away from my mind. I like to believe there's more worth in people. People in need have the right to be saved, no matter who it is. And of course I would keep thinking about it. How couldn't I, when someone looks like he's on the brink of death?" I could feel the crease between my brows as I tried to get my point across. But as much as mine were creased, hers were even worse.
"I love that side about you, Harry. I really do. But sometimes I feel like it's been enough. You've already given so much. I think it's about time for you to kick back and relax. You simply can't save everyone. Least of all those who don't deserve it."
Somehow, that statement made me angry enough to get up. "And who decides that? Who deserves to be saved and who doesn't? Everyone is worthy of saving, Ginny. I did it back in Hogwarts and I will keep on doing it again, even if it ends up hurting me, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I could've prevented someone's death. Even if the other person isn't perceived as worthy to be saved."
She crossed her arms defiantly, shrugging. "If that's how you'd rather think, so be it. Though I'd rather not spend any time arguing about a person such as him."
"Then so be it." Angry, I swept the teddy bear off the table and stormed off, slamming the front door shut behind me. Stalking off, I decided to walk my anger off. The sun had already begun to set, casting yellows, oranges and blues across the night sky. I shivered a bit as I noticed the cold that was still lingering around. The neighbourhood was a quiet one, on the border between the magical and non-magical world. Even though I wanted to live as far away removed from the magical world at first, Ginny held me back. In one way, I'm glad I decided to not simply abandon the world I also belonged to. Of course it also put a great deal of pressure on me to not simply pull back into the shadows, where no magic could reach me. Of course such a thing would've never happened regardless of my intention at that time. Because I could not simply abandon everything I had built up. Even though it hurt, even if it was hard, I had to continue on. For those who had fallen and for those who could yet be saved. Even if it ended up killing me, I had to continue on. Because what else was there left for me to do? Live out the remainder of my life in a quiet place, with no-one else around? Not wanting to do anything because it hurt too much? I'd much rather be the one hurting in the end if it meant saving someone else's life. Without a doubt I would've saved Draco Malfoy's life a thousand times over. It didn't matter who was lying on the ground. It was a human, and every human's life was precious, no matter whose it was. It's what every decent human being would do, without doubt.
But what I hated myself while I was walking down the street was the fact that I was also doubting, myself. Though of course I rationally knew Malfoy was probably the victim in this case, what if it was all staged, for whatever obscure reason? I did trust my judgement and I trusted the youngest Malfoy to some extent, at the very least. Especially after the trial. However, it was the oldest of the family I was unable to trust. Though I'd like to believe he wouldn't go as far as to sacrifice his son, I wasn't completely sure he wouldn't. Kicking away a pebble at my feet, I heaved a great sigh. Though the newspaper wrote nothing of noteworthiness about the Malfoy family, it still didn't mean nothing was going on behind the scenes. Such thoughts only ended up giving me even more of a headache, so I decided to just let it go. My feet automatically took me to the little park, long since abandoned now that the sun had almost disappeared and the cold had crept in.
Sitting down on the swing, I put the stuffed bear on my lap, with its big, black eyes looking into mine. At that moment, all my thoughts of Malfoys, attacks or fights flew out of my mind, as I sat there, lightly swinging with the stuffed toy staring bleakly at me. At that moment, the only thoughts going around in my head were of Sirius. How did he feel, buying presents for me? Seeing me, being there for me? How was it for him, to have me as his godson? Was it painful for him to know a war was going on around his growing godson, unable to do anything? Though Teddy would hopefully grow up in a safe environment, his parents were already claimed by the war, as much as mine were. Of course I wanted to be there for him too. However, the way I was right now was not good enough. Visiting for his birthday was plenty already. I needed to get back on track, to live my life again and to move forward. That's why I still kept the one letter, out of all the others sent to me. It's the only one I kept and actually wanted to reply to. It was the one thing which would surely help me move forward to realise my dream. No matter how hard it would be, I was ready to face it head-on.
Funny how it took me months to come to that realisation. After the Battle of Hogwarts, a lot of job applications were sent my way, though I almost immediately threw all of them away. At that time especially, I still wasn't ready to commit myself to one job, as I still had trouble trying to sort everything out for myself. After more than half a year, I usually didn't even bother opening the letters sent my way. And a few months after the letters piled up, I tried to get rid of all of them in one go. However, one letter fell out among the rest. At the time, my hands were full with the letters, so I let the letter be for the time being. When I came back, I decided to open it on a whim. In it, there was a job application for Auror. The one thing I had wanted to become, the only thing which really piqued my interest. It's the one letter I didn't throw away, for one reason or another. It was almost like it was meant to fall down. The world being what it was, it would not surprise me if the letter had a will of its own. I was a bit wary, though. It had been months since I received the letter. What if they didn't want me anymore? Or the position was filled up already? In a world without Voldemort, surely there wouldn't be as much work in the field? Or was that naivety? Whichever way it was, it wouldn't do to delay much longer.
Swinging around in the cold air made my headache slowly disappear, as I breathed in the cold. Stars started appearing in the sky, along with the moon. There were no traces of the sun to be seen, and I wondered how long I had been sitting there. However, I was reluctant to get back up and go home. Though the neighbourhood was a nice one, I still often got an uncomfortable feeling, like the gazes of my neighbours lingered longer than necessary. Maybe I was just imagining things, or people actually knew who I was. Either way, the nicest thing around here was this small park.
Grabbing the teddy bear and holding it up, I sighed as I was gazing at it. I brought it down, grasping its paw in my right hand. Its fur felt warm in my hand, as the cold wind cut into me more than I thought it would. Shivering, I made my way back home reluctantly. Lately the arguments we had kept on growing bigger and more serious. More often than not the other would storm off in a fit of anger, leaving the other angry and frustrated as well. Living together had almost become troublesome instead of relaxing, with the air around the house darkening day by day. Arguments like today had nearly become a daily occurrence, wearing each other down. Usually it was the small things. Clothes lying around, dishes that hadn't been done yet, spending too much time in the bathroom, lazing around the house… Almost everything had become an annoyance. And at one point I even began to think if it was still worth it, continuing the relationship the way it was. But every time I thought so, I would feel guilty, blaming myself for not trying to understand the reasoning behind the actions. Because surely ones flaws would only add to the character, making the imperfections only seem endearing. Or, at the very least, you could ration it was the way the other person was. No-one was perfect, and one's partner least of all.
Walking back to my house almost seemed like a walk to the gallows. Even the houses, lights turned off almost everywhere, seemed to be watching me eerily, as if watching my every move, looking for a weakness. This was exactly the reason why I wanted to live a secluded life in Muggle territory, away from wandering, curious stares, seemingly pursuing me everywhere, judging, weighing me down with expectation or wishing to see some form of weakness. Of course Ginny convinced me to live somewhere on the border between the Muggle and Wizarding world, for convenience's sake. Although our house was quaint and inconspicuous, it would still attract attention when the wizard stopping Voldemort were to live there with his girlfriend. The house was also mostly under her name, as I was still hesitant about living on the edge of either civilisation. It was under her impression I'd come to slowly come around, and would even start to enjoy living here, in the quiet neighbourhood, where the worst thing around was gossip. Of course I wanted it to be true; that such an uneventful life would be just the thing for me after all I've been through. Some peace and quiet, some place I would consider home, on the border between a 'normal' world and an 'abnormal' one. But being so well-known made living so close to the Wizarding world rather tiring. Sighing, I lifted my keys to unlock the door, noting the dark inside.
When I stepped inside, I took off my shoes and put the toy on one of the side tables, walking down the hall and opening the door, not bothering to turn on the lights. Apparently I wasn't the only one who needed to slip out of the house to cool down. Reluctantly turning on a small light, I instantly noticed a note lying on the table. It was from Ginny, addressed to me. Somehow, I expected the words staring up at me, a stark contrast on the white paper, the black ink curling on the parchment with flourishes. It was written hastily, splashes of water covering the page here and there. As I read the letter, I realised it was tears that had fallen down, not just some random splashes of water. The ink had blurred where they had fallen, though the words were still legible. As I read all of it, the letter quietly fell to the table, its contents partially hidden as the parchment curled around the edges. Raking a hand through my hair, sentences in the letter flurried to the forefront of my mind. "Maybe it would be better if we take a break…" "I will be staying at home…" "… for the better if…" "… put some distance between us…" The words swam around in my mind, their meaning heavy, though not that shocking.
Smiling wryly to myself, I was unable to even shed a tear. This moment had been so long in the making I was almost surprised it dragged on for so long. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted, needed, a distraction to put my mind to. There was only one letter I wanted to see and reply to at that moment. Walking back to a drawer, I tentatively pulled it open. Rifling through it, my hand found the smooth parchment. Taking it out, I blankly stared at it for a long time, my fingers trembling as I held unto the paper. A torrent of emotions washed through me, and I must've been standing there for minutes. Slowly exhaling, I opened up the letter once more. Its creases had softened up, showing wear here and there. I've unfolded and folded it so many times, the edges had darkened and the words were stuck in my head.
It was a letter like most others I got as job applications. It was simple and to the point. An invitation to start training for an Auror. There was no due date, nothing. However, there surely would be a mental due date? A deadline after which applications weren't accepted anymore? It was one of the things that worried me most. After finally deciding what to do, would it perhaps not be too late to actually do it? What if the only reason there was no due date had to do with me being Harry Potter?
Walking to the table with shaky legs, I grabbed some spare parchment, ink and put everything down on the table, sinking into the chair. Dipping the quill into the ink, I hovered it above the parchment, not quite knowing where to begin. In my hesitation, a drop of ink spilled unto the parchment, its black tendrils curling around the blank paper, marring it. A few seconds later, another dropped unto the parchment. Grabbing my wand, I fixed the mess with a flick of my wrist, before sorting my thoughts.
Hours later, I finally lifted my quill from the parchment while heaving a great sigh. Looking at the clock, I realised it was well past midnight. Standing up, I winced as my stiff joints protested at the sudden movement. Sitting cramped at a table for a long period of time surely didn't help me feel any younger. With the weight of all that happened that day, I felt dead tired and wobbled to my bed. I didn't even bother removing my clothes before I fell face-first on the bed. I fell asleep in an instant.
A/N: Not sure when I'll upload the next part, although I really want to continue writing for it! It's also great to see my writing style has evolved so much in the last few years. For those of you who read this, happy holidays!