Disclaimer: So this is my first fanfic, so any reviews or anything will be vastly appreciated! I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of the characters, that belongs to A&E and ABC.
"You would have been enough." With those words, Regina felt her heart shatter again. First it was Daniel, then her father, then Henry, and now her mother. Maybe this time would be the final time her heart broke. Before Regina could ponder this thought further, a loud sob escaped from her mouth as the recent events dawned on her. She would never see her mother smile at her again, a smile full of compassion. Never see her true mother, not the one whom had been cruel and could not truly love, but the mother who looked at her with so much joy and pure love for the first time in her life.
Though she had only witnessed this side of her mother for a few moments, she knew that she couldn't live without it. She would miss it terribly and those words would echo throughout her mind for the rest of her life, "You would have been enough." Tears began to stream from her eyes when she realized that she would even miss the side of her mother that she had known for her entire life. The cruel woman who abused her mentally, physically, and verbally for as long as she could remember. The woman who had crushed her first love's heart in front of her. The woman who had told her that love was weakness. The woman who Regina thought that she had to banish into another world to be happy, but she was wrong. She would miss more than just the new, true side of Cora. She would miss every side, every part of her mother.
She pulled Cora's body toward herself, careful not to look at it because she wasn't ready to see her mother look lifeless. Clutching her tightly as if that could bring her back, her body shook with deeps sobs as she tried in vain to wake her up,
"Mother. Mother please! Don't leave me all alone! Mommy, I was wrong, I need you! Please wake up, please!"
She buried her head into the crook of her mother's neck and whispered over and over again, "Please mommy. I love you so much, please don't go."
After what seemed like hours, though it was only a few minutes, Regina stopped pleading. She finally observed Cora's morose body. Her checks, once rosy, were now as pale as the rest of her body. She felt cold in Regina's warm arms. Her eyes were closed, as if she was merely sleeping. She started to feel numbness take over her body when she heard the loud slam of a door opening.
She looked up when Snow came in with Charming behind her and yelled, "Regina, wait! Stop!"
It was then that Regina had the epiphany that she had been tricked. Snow did something to Cora's heart, that's why she wanted Regina to give it back to her mother. Not to give her a chance at having a real mother, not to try to give her one last chance of happiness. It had been a lie. All of it a lie so that pure, little Snow White could finally get her revenge against Cora. But at the end of the day, the events would be the same; Regina had killed her own mother. Cora's blood was on her hands.
Fresh tears formed in Regina's eyes and she let out a pained cry that shattered all the glass around her. She could vaguely hear the shocked gasps as Charming and Snow took cover from the flying shards. Overcome again with grief, Regina didn't even try to avoid the sharp soaring pieces. She could tell that her clothes had multiple rips in them. Her body and face had a few cuts, and now blood was starting to drip from her forehead.
A barrier of red light formed around her and Cora's bodies. Then in a blink of an eye, they were transported to a different place. There was junk and trinkets everywhere: on top of furniture, on the floor, and on numerous shelves. The only space free of objects was the couch she was now sitting on. It was a place that she could not remember visiting before, but Regina did not care, she just continued holding her mother's dead body like a child would clutch at a teddy bear when they were afraid. She could vaguely hear a voice talking to her, though she didn't pay attention until a hand rested upon her injured shoulder lightly. She flinched slightly and looked up. Mr. Gold, no Rumplestiltskin, was looking at her with an expression that she hadn't seen on his visage before: a face of complete sympathy. There wasn't a hint of malice, of mischief, or trickery.
"I hope you don't mind me getting you out of there. I figured that Snow White would be the last person you wanted to see," he said, awkwardly shuffling from foot to foot when she didn't respond and continued staring into space. Her once bright eyes were now dull. Not even anger filled them with a fiery, passionate glow, just blank sadness. Regina stiffly raised her hand to wipe some of the blood that was dripping down her face away.
She continued to sit there mutely for a few more minutes before her forehead started bleeding again. But she did not make a move to wipe off the blood and soon fresh tears mixed with the crimson droplets. In all the years Rumplestiltskin had known Regina, he had never seen her this broken before. Not when she found out that Daniel could not be brought back to life, when she crushed her first heart, never. The only time that came close was the day after her wedding night. He shook his head trying to keep the memory away, but even then she still had hope in her eyes; hope for revenge. He cleared his throat, hoping to get her attention. His attempt failed so he crouched in front of her, lifting her chin so that he could look her in the eye.
" Regina I am very sorry about what happened today, but you need to get cleaned up and healed. Some of your cuts are deep and could get infected," Rumplestiltskin said, staring deeply into the glazed over eyes of his former apprentice, "But before I can help you I need you to let go of your mother."
At that Regina snapped to attention, clutching Cora's body tighter to herself. She couldn't let go, she wouldn't, "If I let her go she'll truly be gone. I need her. She can't leave me again. She's the only thing that I have left. Everything else that I have loved is gone. She can't go too."
"She'll always be with you. All you have to do is remember her and she'll be there. I know that you love her, but you have to let her go. I can transport her to your father's mausoleum. She'll be safe there," Rumple responded, standing up and taking a step back.
Regina nodded slowly before letting go of Cora gently and giving her a soft kiss on her cold forehead. Her body was enveloped in a red light and was gone. Rumplestiltskin took hold of Regina's hand, helped her to stand, and led her to his bathroom. He put the plug in and started to fill up the bath tub with warm water. He turned to Regina who was as still as a statue, looking down at the tiled floor morosely.
He walked to her and began to take off her clothes. It was not in a sensual way, as it had been so many years ago, but Regina did not seem to mind him doing it as she simply held her arms out so that her coat could come off and her unzipped dress could slip down her body. Then Rumplestiltskin took her shoes off one at a time before rolling down her stockings, having her step out of them. She was now standing in her lingerie but Rumple barely noticed as he took off her black lace underwear and matching bra. He did not look though, that time between them had passed and today was certainly not the day to try. He lifted her up in his arms and laid her down in the bath tub, hot water tumbling in around her.
He shut the water off and went to get a wash cloth out of the linen closet. When he got back Regina was hunched over, with her knees pulled to her chest. The cuts she had looked dreadful and were still bleeding. He hadn't realized that the small explosion of glass had been that powerful and he honestly couldn't fathom how she didn't seem to be in any physical pain. He rolled up his short sleeves, dipped the cloth into the water, put some soap on top of it, and rubbed it in between his hands. Once the wash cloth was soapy enough, Rumpelstiltskin began to wash Regina's back as gently as he could, trying to clean the cuts, but not cause her pain. Though the soap must have stung getting into the cuts, Regina didn't flinch once. Rumple rinsed off her back and put his hand above each cut, healing it back to it's flawless olive tone. He moved around the side of the tub to clean her face. She closed her eyes while he moved the cloth around her forehead, down her cheeks, and her chin. Regina could feel a slight tingling as he healed the gash on her forehead.
Once she opened her eyes again she looked down into the slightly pink water as Rumple took out the plug. The water slowly began to drain as she rose and took the towel Rumplestiltskin offered her. He left as she began to dry off and, as soon as she saw him close the door, she began to sob. She slumped against the door and held her hand in her hands. She did not try to stifle the sounds she made because more sobs kept coming, shaking her with every breath she took. She couldn't help the waves of loss that over took her. She had nothing anymore. No one to fight for, to live for, nothing.
And why was Gold being so kind to her? They weren't exactly on the greatest of terms, but he still seemed to care for her well being. She remembered the day at the well, right before she was about to absorb the death curse they had made, he called out her name. Of course that night he also kicked her when she was down after she hadn't been invited to go with "the heroes" to Granny's. It didn't make much sense to her, but she decided not to question it for now.
She simply stayed slumped against the door in nothing but a towel while tears slipped down her face. Gradually, her numbness faded and she began to feel the puffiness of her eyes and the weight of her tired body. She slowly got up and walked toward the sink to look in the mirror above it. She could barely even recognize herself. Her hair was limp and mussed, her eyes were red, her make up was a complete mess, and the dull brown eyes that stared back at her couldn't be her own. They looked completely defeated and passionless. She grabbed the damp wash cloth out of the bathtub and began taking of her make up. She started off gentle, but a wave of grief hit her again and now was scrubbing her face as hard as she could while wiping up the new fallen tears.
Finally, she opened the door, traveling down the stairs, and looking for Rumple. She found him in his kitchen pouring what looked like tea into two mugs. He looked up at her and felt a pang in his chest at seeing her look so lost and broken. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman. Her mother, as much of a monster she had been, did love her as much as she could without a heart. And once she had gotten her heart back, at least for a few seconds, the woman he fell in love with came back. The woman who loved her daughter unconditionally, who did not need nor want power in the end.
Regina pulled him out of his thoughts by taking a mug off the table and bringing it to her trembling lips. It was indeed tea, the same he used to brew for their magic lessons. For a moment her mind went back to when he was her teacher, when he had first taught her magic, and how much she loved it. She was going to make a comment about it when a shiver shot down her spine from the cold and her lack of clothing. Then he finally noticed that she was still in a towel and had no clothes to change into; as the ones she wore here had rips and tears, they were also a reminder of what had happened earlier that day.
"Would you like some clothes to change into? You can sleep here if you want to. I imagine you must be exhausted," Rumpelstiltskin offered.
Regina mulled the suggestion over for a moment. She didn't want to go back to her mansion. The loneliness would be unbearable and right now she did not have the energy to magically travel anywhere, nor did she really have a place to go. With a soft sigh, she nodded.
Rumple walked around the table and led her up to the stairs to his bedroom. It was the only room with a bed that was clean and not covered in objects from the Enchanted Forest. He decided he would sleep on the couch for the night. He walked to his dresser and opened the drawers, searching for a t shirt and pajama pants. Finally, he found a simple black t shirt and plaid sleep pants. He handed them to Regina, who looked like she could fall asleep at any moment. Regina dropped her towel and lifted her arms. He sighed and pulled the t shirt over her head and she stepped into the pants, pulling them up.
He turned and pulled back the covers from his bed and gestured for Regina to get into bed. She shuffled over and collapsed on his bed, then he put the blankets over her body and tucked them under her chin. She curled into a ball under the blankets and he stroked her hair, tucking it behind her ear . He moved toward the door when he heard her voice, which was rough from crying, "Why are you doing this for me?" she asked.
Rumple turned back to his bed, taking in the small fragile creature, his greatest student, his monster. He sat on the edge of the bed and softly spoke,
"Long ago I knew a woman who was strong and desperate to change her life. A woman who desired to make those who humiliated her bow to her, a woman who I loved very much. Losing her hurt me more than I care to admit and now she truly is gone from my life. Your mother. I know how much you love her and how much you miss her. I understand and I want help you get through this. I don't know how to grieve for her without helping you and I honestly don't think that you will survive this on your own."
"I am not weak," Regina stated, internally cursing herself as her voice shook.
" I know that you aren't weak, you are quite strong. But there is only so much a person can take. Pain can break down a person bit by bit,and you, dearie, have had to deal with a lot of pain. You don't have to go through your grief alone, not again."
Regina merely hummed in response and closed her eyes. Rumpelstiltskin got up again but this time when he left he could hear a whispered, "Thank you."
" You're welcome. Goodnight dearie."
Regina laid there for a few moments, thinking of all that had happened in the last few hours. Tomorrow she would have to visit her father's, and now her mother's, mausoleum to pay her respects and say goodbye to her mother. Would Rumplestiltskin go with her? Would he talk more about the past he had shared with her mother? Would he bring up their past as well? Nothing seemed to be normal. She didn't even feel her usual blood lust towards Snow. She didn't know if Henry would even speak to her. The small start of friendship with Emma was definitely lost. She was not certain of anything anymore, except for one thing: though getting over her mother's death was going to be excruciating, she was glad that she wasn't going to be alone.