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"It's been him, then and now." Those words replayed in my head but I still couldn't believe it. Of course, the signs were there. Bella never hid the way she felt for him. Just the mention of his name would get her attention. Sure, I came after their fling or whatever the hell it was that ended, but I had always felt there was some kind of unfinished business between them. Did I want to lose her? Hell no. I did everything in my power daily to show and prove to Bella that she was my one and only. Never passing up the chance to just say "I love you." Yes, Bella loved me. Something deep down told me that if he showed up and let her know he wanted her again, she would go. Never did I ask details of their relationship, but she didn't volunteer any either. I could tell it was something that hurt her, making me want to kill the bastard myself. But, I couldn't do that. Hurting him, would hurt her.
Now, my worst fear was coming true. MY wife was leaving me, for him. "I understand." Was all that came out of my mouth in that moment as she stood there, suitcases packed ready to go. My world was crumbling around me, my heart ripped out of my chest as she walked out the door, not once glancing back. Life, love, meaning...gone. Just gone. I'd stood at that door for what seemed like eternity, hoping she'd just come crawling back into my arms. Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks. Not one single word. Work was a blur, tv blasted in the background but I paid it no mind. Hell, can't even remember the last time I'd ate. I don't really care. Without her, I was nothing or...that's what I thought.
That moment, looking at my reflection in the mirror, realization it. I was alive. It didn't feel like it because I had chosen to ignore it, but I was. Could I survive without her? The answer was yes. The last few weeks showed me it was going to hurt like hell, but eventually I'd be able to move past it. Live my life normally, or as normal as I could. Deep down, I knew I did the best I could to make Bella happy. In the end, she did not choose me. A fact I was willing to accept and live with. Despite the hurt and feel of rejection, I'd continue to move forward. Nobody else was going to pick up the pieces or take away the hurt, that was up to me. Life is full of twists and turns, just have to sit back and to to enjoy the ride. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger right? "I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home."