This is my first fanfic and I hope to get some good reviews. I know that I will be doing New Moon and either combining events that I want from Eclipse or just redoing the whole thing. I was thinking of also doing Breaking Dawn since it was such a disaster but I'm not sure. I'm starting with the chapter where Edward leaves Bella so I've skipped over the birthday party. I'm sure you all know how it goes. I may change some things about the vampires as I go along, I haven't decided yet. Sorry if it seems short. I wrote 12 pages but it looks so short on the fanfic sight. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Bella: I knew it was too good to be true.

Something was very very wrong here. My stomach was twisted in knots. I was so anxious that I couldn't stop shaking my leg up and down. What was with Edward's silence? He's never been so quiet with me. He hasn't smiled at me in two days and when he looks at me…it's like he doesn't even see me.

I chewed on my lower lip, one of my quirky habits that I just can't shake, and began to tap my pencil on my notebook at a rapid pace. I just couldn't stand it! I was glad to be sitting by the window in Geometry so I could look outside. It gave my eyes somewhere to roam besides the classroom. I wished that I was there in forest…with Edward. It would be great to get away from all of this drama and bullshit so we could just be together. But it seemed as though lately he wasn't so interested in being with me. The thought made my eyes sting and I had to close them tight. The stinging subsided. Suddenly someone put there hand over mine and I stopped. I turned from staring out of the window to Jessica.

" What's wrong with you?" she mouthed to me.

"Nothing." I whispered back. She didn't look convinced and shook her as she turned back to pay attention to the math lesson. I couldn't tell Jessica what was wrong. She was the school's gossip and not to mention even though she pretended to be my friend, I had this sneaking suspicion that she hated me. For some godforsaken reason, Mike Newton liked me more than her and she knew it. Even though I would never do anything to hurt her she still held it against me. We were all friends, but Mike made it obvious how he felt about me. I laughed internally as I thought about how many times Edward had probably imagined crushing Mike over his fantasies about me.

Edward. I sighed. Did he still feel that way about me? The thought came to my head so fast that it made heart skip a beat. He'd been so distant since my disastrous birthday party that I suddenly wondered if the incident had made him question his feelings for me. I started to doubt him.

No that's impossible. Edward had spent the last eighty years alone, he wouldn't just change his mind or let something so silly ruin us. Would he? I know he's melodramatic, but I just can't see him…

I couldn't breathe and my heart started to race. No! I had to stop thinking things like that. I couldn't survive without Edward in my life. Just the mere thought of not being with Edward was enough to cause me an anxiety attack.

I looked up at the clock in front of the class. It was almost over and I would see Edward. I would have to talk to him today. I was off from work and he would have to come over tonight. If he flakes out on me again I'll just die. He was my life. We had to work through this.

The bell finally rang out and I threw my books in my bag and bolted for the door narrowly escaping a collision with the teacher on my way out. Edward was already there waiting for me by the doorway. I smiled, so happy to see him, but his grim expression wiped it right off.

"Hi" I said without much enthusiasm. He responded with a weak "Hey".

A sudden fury hit me and I glared at him. This seemed to surprise him and he raised his eyebrow at me. He opened his mouth as if to say something and then decided against it. Instead he nodded his head toward the door and we started walking out to the parking lot to head home. We rode all the way to my house in silence. My anger was building because of his attitude towards me. I hadn't done anything to wrong him! Did I? He had no right giving me this damned silent treatment. He should be mad at Jasper, not me!

He pulled up in front my house and parked. I sighed deeply and looked over at him. His hands were still tightly grasping the steering wheel and he was looking straight out towards the woods. He looked upset, tortured almost. He must have sensed me staring at him because his face went blank and he looked at me. I finally had to speak. My words came out weaker than I wanted them to considering how angry I felt.

"Your silence is killing me Edward."

"We need to talk." This can't be good.

"Yes, we do."

"Let's go for a walk."

We both got out of the car and he led the way to the little trail into the woods behind my house. Panic was creeping up on me. That tone of voice was so unlike him. Maybe he's just upset because Jasper and Alice had to leave for a while. Maybe everyone wants me to stay away and it's bothering him. Maybe he wants us to leave but he thinks that I won't go because of Charlie? He should know better than that. I want to become an immortal for him; he should know that I would follow him to ends of the earth, the universe, to infinity.

He knows that, right?

He stopped and turned around so fast that my heart leapt my throat. For a brief moment he looked so pained, crushed. But before I could really understand, it was gone. He was expressionless.

What is hiding from me? Or better yet, why is he hiding something from me?

I decided to start the talk. I swallowed the lump that was threatening to choke me so when the words came out they sounded a little strangled.

"Edward, what's going on? Why has everyone not come to school this week?" Nothing in his face changed as he replied,

"Bella," he paused. The suspense was driving me mad and I huffed, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "Bella, they've all decided to move on.

I blinked and let it sink in. Moved on? So soon?

"Why?" I asked stupidly.

"Carlisle can barely pass for the thirty anymore, let alone the thirty-three that he claims. People are starting to wonder and question us."

He was insulting my intelligence again. It was something he liked to do, not purposefully but because he was so used to having to deceive people and I happen to be the only one, even though I am mystified by him frequently, I don't miss anything.

"Edward, I'm not an idiot. You haven't been here that long and I know it takes longer than two years for people to start being suspicious. Mrs. Coleman down the street is forty-five and looks like she's 32, so I'm not buying that." Why was he doing this? He started to shift uncomfortably. How unusual for a vampire.

"Bella listen, I can't do this anymore." I didn't understand.

"Can't do what? I don't understand." The panic was creeping up further; it was in my stomach now.

"Us."

"Us?" The panic was almost in my chest and it started to tighten. My sarcastic nature started to show itself. "You'll have to be more specific Edward, don't forget my intelligence." I managed to grumble out. I was having trouble catching my breath.

He was not fazed. "Bella, I have risked so many people's lives to be with you and that was selfish of me. And wrong. Our relationship has put my family at risk. They are all in shambles now. I can't do this to them anymore." Every word he spoke seemed so thought out. It's no wonder he's been so distant. He's been planning this speech for days. "My selfishness and my…infatuation with you have jeopardized everything." I started to feel dizzy the longer he went on. This can't be happening. I squeezed my eyes shut. Infatuation? "I don't want to cause anyone anymore pain for my reckless behavior."

The walls were closing in on me. Or maybe it was the black and gray storm clouds that were rolling in the sky. I heard thunder in the distance. I shivered as the temperature dropped in my body.

Listening to him, I slowly came to a realization. I could see what he was trying to say without saying it. Infatuation. I had simply been an infatuation, an obsession that he let go too far. Apparently, the incident on birthday with Jasper snapped him out of it. It was that or he just didn't think that I was worth the risk like he did in the beginning. Our relationship was wrong. If that was so, then why had everything up until this point always felt so right? I guess it didn't matter. When one person in a relationship didn't want the other…I winced thinking it…then the other was screwed.

He was waiting for me to say something. It took me a minute but I finally found my voice.

"What you are saying," I had to think carefully. "is that…your family is more important that I am and that…" I had to take another painful breath. "..that our relationship was or is a mis-stake?" He looked as though he didn't know what to say.

Please tell me I'm wrong!

"We…cannot be exposed Bella."

He really didn't think I was worth it.

"Edward…I'm sorry I've been so much trouble." I could barely get the words out. "I'll be more careful, I swear." He closed his eyes and pinched the space between his eyes like he was getting a stress headache. Vampires didn't get headaches. He slowly shook his head from side to side.

"When you and I are together we attract trouble, Bella. There are too many problems…"

He was leaving me. I had been right all along. I had known my feelings were deeper than his, even when he tried to convince me otherwise that day at the lunch table. What was it to him to spend time fooling with me? He had immortality. He would live forever so he had to find different things to keep his self from being bored out of his mind.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. Edward, my love, my life, the man I was willing to die for, was leaving me to protect his family…and his self? It was like I didn't know him at all. It just didn't add up. Was this what he wanted me to really think? Why can't he just be honest with me for once?!

"I don't believe you. There's no need to hide behind your family Edward." My voice was so shaky I could barely finish my sentences. "Y-you," I sighed deeply covering my face with my hands, not wanting to say it out loud, but I thought that I would save him the trouble, "You don't love me." I said evenly, shrugging my shoulders.

Please tell me I'm wrong.

For a millisecond he looked like he wanted to protest my statement, but that was just wishful thinking. I continued on. "I'm an infatuation, I get it. I was something to just pass some time in your life of eternity. I should have known I guess." The panic that was threatening to overtake me somehow hadn't come yet. The tears that were waiting to fall, didn't come. My voice was surprisingly steady and I was glad for it. He looked confused, sticking his hands in the pockets of his carpenter jeans.

The silence was once again killing me. "I guess that since infatuations come and go, that you aren't infatuated with me anymore, is that how it is?" His silence began to anger me again. A fire flickered in the pit of my stomach and I shouted, "Just fucking tell me Edward!" I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes. "Why can't you just get it over with and stop torturing me?! Just tell me the truth for once! Just say that you don't love me already so you can move on too!"

He stood motionless; he reminded me of a Michelangelo sculpture. "I don't love you."

The fire exploded in my chest like a grenade and I crumpled to my knees, convulsing and clutching at my heart. I heard him call out my name in a panic and I knew he was by my side. Then the rain started pouring down and the thunder rumbled through the sky. His frigid hands were on my shoulders. He was still calling my name and roughly shaking me. I suddenly screamed out throwing his hands away from me, "No! Get away from me!" Instantly he was standing ten feet away with his hands up apologetically. He was completely taken aback and his eyes…his beautiful tiger's eyes were wide with fear.

I felt out of control. I couldn't tell whether the sounds I was hearing were my sobs or the storm. "How could you do this to me?!" He said he loved me so many times. The way he kissed me to gently for the first time after we'd left our meadow; the way he kissed me every time after that…he was such a comfortable liar. I ran at him and smashed myself against his chest sobbing and beating his chest with my fists. It was like hitting stone. He grabbed my wrists and held my arms down, obviously not because I was hurting him, but to get me to stop hurting myself. He put his arms around me and held me tight. "You bastard," I choked out as the tears flowed freely.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. He kissed the top of my head. "I'm so sorry Bella for what I have done. I swear I will never put you through anything like this ever again. You'll never see me again, I promise." My chest tightened up even more. How could I live Edward?

"I wish you had never saved me from Tyler's van."

"No Bella!" He pushed me back to look deep into my desolate eyes. "Please, you must move on from this. You are human, you will heal and forget about me in time. Please don't ever do anything to put yourself at risk. I couldn't bare it. Promise me!" I didn't understand why it was so important to him. With the rain washing away my tears as fast I was shedding them I said, "I will never forget, Edward. I will always remember this day."

"Just promise me," he pleaded. In buried my face in his chest, his sweater was freezing and wet, but I barely noticed. "Please." I finally nodded.

"I'm sorry Bella," he said again. "It will get easier with time. It will be as if I never existed."

And with those final words, he was gone. I wrapped my arms around my chest. I felt like I was going fall apart right there.

"I love you, Edward." I crumpled to the wet cold ground once again and cried until there was nothing left. I let the darkness take over me.

All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go

In The End by Linkin Park

Edward: Everyone hates me…and I deserve it.

Her words echoed inside my head as I ran like a bullet through the forest.

"I love you Edward."

"You bastard."

"I wish you had never saved me from Tyler's van."

I ran so hard, the trees flying past me at incredible speed as I tried to block out her sobs, but it was useless. I had destroyed her and she still said she loved me. My beautiful Bella, her face had been wrenched in agony. She should never have had to endure such pain. It had reminded me of when I'd found her broken with James. She had seemed so composed until I uttered those blasphemous words to her. I was still in shock that I could even say them. I had not planned to say such a thing to her. I was a completely despicable monster.

I loathed myself.

I had expected something entirely different from her. I had expected pleading and begging. I thought it would take me forever to convince her that I didn't love her. I didn't understand. How could she believe me so quickly? But then again, it seemed that she always surprised me. Why I couldn't figure her out was beyond my comprehension. I could guess any other person's reaction easily, but with her, it was impossible. I had expected all the things I suppose that I would have done if the situation was reversed. I was glad that I couldn't hear her thoughts. If I wasn't already dead, it would have killed me.

It took everything I had to keep running in the direction away from her. The further I was from her the more difficult it became to breathe. How stupid! I don't even need to breathe! My cold, dead heart was lifeless in my chest and yet a rage was building inside of me. I couldn't contain it. I plowed into tree that twice my girth. It ripped up from the earth and fell with a roaring crash through the forest. I stared at it as the forest became eerily silent. My labored breathing was unnecessary, but I felt like there was a mountain sitting on my chest. It was only getting worse.

I caught the scent of a predator. I was on the trail immediately letting my senses take me over. Before I even knew what was happening I was on him. A great grizzly he was. I was too fast and too angry to care. He bellowed at me and I took him down. I tore at the flesh of his neck, ripping out his throat causing his warm blood to spray all over my face and clothes. The massive bear writhed in my grasp. He was no match for me. He finally fell over with a final rumbling grunt. I stood up and looked down upon him. His heart beat was slowing down, pumping his blood up and out of his wound. I wasn't at all thirsty. I just needed to get out some aggression. It didn't help.

I'm wasn't alone.

"Edward." It was Alice. She was calling me with her thoughts and from the sound of it she wasn't happy. I couldn't bring myself to look up from the bear I had mangled.

"Edward." She was calling me out loud this time. I went to her thoughts. What I saw was frightening.

She was looking at me. I was covered in blood from my kill. My face was distorted in such a way that I didn't even recognize myself. It was a face of hatred. It was all hatred for myself. I could smell the blood now that I was so aware of it. But even though I was aware of it, there was no interest.

I finally looked over at Alice. She was standing fifty feet away from me. Her eyes were daggers on me. Images suddenly started flowing from her. Bella lying on wet ground sobbing as the rain pounded her. I threw my hands up to cover my ears and squeezed my eyes together and tight as I could.

"Stop! Stop it!" I cried out. Something struck me so hard in my chest that I was destroying trees and bushes as I flew backwards through the air before I could react. My first thought was that I had done it myself, but I looked up, stunned to see Alice standing over me. She screamed at me without saying a word.

"Edward how could do this to her? She was my best friend! She wants to spend eternity with you and this is how you repay her devotion?! You're pathetic! You and you're stupid religious morals! You've destroyed her!"

All the while she stood there, still with daggers in her eyes as I lay on the ground. I wished my heart was alive and beating in that moment then I could have ripped it out of my own chest to stop the pain. I covered my face with my hands, aware once again that I covered in blood. I lifted my hands and looked them. I was trembling.

"It might as well be her blood, you imbecile!" She crossed her arms curtly and started pacing. Someone else was coming in the distance. I didn't care enough to see who it was.

Emmet was suddenly by Alice's side looking distraught. He took one look at me and his words assaulted me. This thoroughly shocked me. Emmett, my big brother who never let anything get to him was actually angry with me.

"Edward, why the hell are you doing this to her!? She's part of our family, man! She's perfect for you and she loves you, why would you treat her like this? I ought to pound you for this. We all love her, you know? It's not just Alice. Even Rosalie cares about her Edward, she just won't admit it to anyone else."

I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest. I buried my face in my knees and choked out dry sobs until darkness began to take over. Alice and Emmet had taken seats on the fallen tree and waited for me to stop. I didn't think I would every be able to stop. Emmett, unable to take anymore, shot over to me and pulled me up.

"Come on Edward, get a hold of yourself. Dude, I don't think either of you can live without each other. Just go back and apologize."

"NO!" Anger fueled me again. "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you understand?"

"No, I don't, Edward! I certainly don't understand. She's not some idiotic teenager and you know it."

"If she stays with me, she dies!"

"We're all dead!"

"She deserves better then this! I will not take her soul!"

"Fuck you, Edward. You're being a selfish prick." I'd never seen Emmett sad before. After all of these years, I was seeing a soft side of Emmett that I supposed only Rosalie knew existed. "I never thought I'd ever say something like this to you brother, but maybe you don't deserve her. She would never do anything to hurt you." And with that Emmett was gone.

I stood immobile letting everything sink in from the day. I felt like I was reaching a breaking point. God, how I wanted to be by Bella's side. I longed to feel her warm hand inside of mine. I imagined my lips on hers. I thought of how her scent burned my throat when I kissed her. I could feel her silky hair through my fingers. Alice finally broke the silence.

"Well, I hope you're happy now. I just want you to know, that Bella did not break up this family…you did." A swoosh of wind and leaves let me know that she too was gone.

I decided to run again. I ran south and as I ran I let the numbness wash over me. I had destroyed everything to save Bella's life and soul. It's funny how things seem to feel. I thought my soul was gone long ago. It's strange how it felt like I'd just lost it tonight.