Today on Celebrity Media we have the four boys of the beloved show South Park who have a very special and shocking announcement.
I look over at my fellow best friends, Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick, I have grown up with these guys and together we have been through a lot. We were best friends from the start and together we starred in a world famous TV show South Park.
The show ended a long time ago back in grade eight with a giant movie featuring our graduation and a whole bunch of other shit including a record breaking amount of Kenny's deaths. Since then the four of us have shown up non-stop in all sorts of News Media shows. We have also shown up on many reality shows and Cartman even starred on a show just like Jersey Shore to Kyle's dismay.
Now we are all grown up we are adults we are all married and all of us have kids now. I feel bad for Cartman at times because it took him the longest to have his little girl, Helen because nobody whatsoever found him attractive. I guess the things that he did on public TV really ruined his reputation. One day though our former classmate Lola started a fling with him in secret none of us knew about it.
Then one day Lola told him that she was to have his baby, twins in fact. Cartman was so excited but he knew that he couldn't tell us, as much as he wanted too it was their secret that they were together. When the day of the birth came Cartman found himself standing across the hospital bed Lola was in facing her husband, Clyde. The two of them both didn't know that she was cheating on both of them.
The twins were both born but both of them had different Dads. One of them was Cartman's child and the other was Clyde's. Clyde took his straight away and filed for a divorce with Lola straight away. Knowing that he would never get another girl, Cartman married Lola. Clyde wasn't mad at Cartman at all and Clyde ended remarrying another background character in our show, Esther. I don't think she talked more than once throughout the entire series.
Kyle looks back at me with a spark of excitement in his green eyes. We have always been the closest together out of all four of us. Maybe that is why the rumours were so large that we were gay for each other. Kyle soon proved the fans wrong when he married Red, a fellow red-head who turned Jewish just for Kyle. Ironically they got married on Valentine's Day with red hearts all over the synagogue they got married in.
"We have decided," Kenny announces starting for the four of us as the large crowd of fans sit to the edge of their seats sucking in every God damn word we say.
"That we are going to start a brand new show." Kyle carries on as a fan girl screams. Kyle smiles he always has been the one with the girls.
"It is called New South Park and it is airing this Wednesday at 5:00." I tell them as I look over at my wife Wendy who is in the audience beaming with pride that, that is her husband sitting there in front of the whole world even though I have done this a thousand times before.
"Respect my authoratah and watch it God Damn it!" Eric ends as the crowd bursts up in a wave of laughter.
I hope my kids like being on TV as much as I did growing up.
Anastasia Marsh
Some may say I'm living the dream but in reality I'm not. Sure it's cool to be the child of someone famous and going on the red carpet and shit but the paparazzi gets really irritating at times and my family never gets any privacy. Especially the fact that I am now in a TV show that my Dad and his three best friends made up when I was twelve. That was last year I am thirteen years old now. The show is kind of fun to be in but I hate the camera following me everywhere even when I don't want them too. The only time I get breaks away from the cameras is the weekends. Sometimes not even then if something TV worthy is going on, which is almost anything.
My name is Anastasia Marsh, third child of one of the most well-known couples on TV, Stan and Wendy. They were together for a lot of the series except for this one space of time between seasons 7-11. I love watching the episode where my Mom and Dad get back together it is so cute how Dad used to vomit all of the time.
I have four siblings, three sisters and one brother. My brother, Jay is the oldest out of all of us. That includes Kenny, Eric and Kyle's kids. I have seen old magazines and TV specials of when Jay was born and it was complete madness beyond belief. My older sister is Kate-Linn it is pronounced as Kaitlin but in two words.
Then comes me and my twin sister Violet. Technically we are a year apart because I was born on New Year's Eve and she was born just a few minutes after me after midnight. Though we are only a few minutes apart you can really tell the year's difference. She is smaller than me and a lot less mature. Her best friend is Rita's little sister Portia who is a year younger than us. Wendy treats us like we are the same age but come on.
Lastly we have little Aquamarine named for the awkward moments that came along when she was born. You see Mom and Dad decided to stop having babies after Violet and I were born but then Aquamarine was born. A mistake, a big mistake, I feel bad for her after all she is only five years old and I don't think Jay and Kate-Linn like her as much as Mom and Dad wants us to. I really don't care what anyone says though I love my little sister more than the world.
"Anna, the phone is for you!" Kate-Linn calls from downstairs it echoes throughout the house so anyone can hear making one of our two dogs bark downstairs. You see our house is like a doughnut on the inside there is like a hole down the middle of it so when you are upstairs you can spy on whoever is downstairs.
"Coming!" I call back and I look over at Violet who is on our computer. The thing that sucks the most about being a twin is that I have to share a room with my sister. We even have bunk beds to make things worse! Luckily for me I have bottom bunk that's because I am scared shit-less of heights.
Violet doesn't notice that Kate-Linn has called for me and just continues checking her friend's pictures on Facebook.
I run down the staircase as fast as I can and I run into the kitchen where Kate-Linn is waiting impatiently with one of our cordless phones in hand. Kate-Linn is the only girl in the family that looks the most like Dad. She has his blue eyes and his nose. Each one of us has both of our parent's black hair. Kate-Linn likes to keep her long black hair in loose pig-tails.
"It's about time you came," she scowls and hands me the phone. Kate-Linn thinks she is so great just because she is two years older than me. Dad tells me she took after his sister and my Auntie Shelly, grouchy and mean but caring and protective of her family when needed.
I roll my eyes at my sister and I lift the phone to my ear. "Hello?" I ask in curiosity even though I know it is probably Helen, Cara or Rita.
"Hey Anna its Cara, do you want to come over right now? I am asking Rita and Helen to come too." She says happily.
"Will the camera crew be there?" I ask her even I know the answer will be yes. It seems that they are with us at every get together.
"Of course they love it when we get together." Cara replies happily probably proud that our gathering will be filmed at her house today.
"Yeah so they can watch Rita and I make big drama." I sigh to myself. Even though it used to be Cartman that used to fight with Kyle now it's me and Rita who are the ones who usually cause the trouble, Stan and Kenny's daughters. The two of us used to be BFF's but not she doesn't really want much to do with any of the children of the show South Park she is trying to be friends with other people.
"Awe come on, it will be fun! Maybe we can have a sleepover too!" Cara replies gleefully.
I sigh to myself but I try to sound happy for Cara's sake usually when we get together it's at my house or Helen's house. "Okay I'll be there." I say and I hang up the phone.
"Fuck!" I mutter to myself as I walk upstairs to get ready for Cara's house. When I get to my room I notice that Violet is still on her computer.
"I'm going to Cara's house." I reply to my little sister as I open up one of my drawers to find a nice shirt for hanging out with friends.
"And I'm not invited?" Violet whimpers sounding hurt.
"Dude, you don't even hang out with us!" I exclaim slightly annoyed. This happens every time I am invited to my friend's houses. Violet gets all upset and begs me to come with.
Violet sighs and turns off our desktop. "I know," she murmurs.
I pull out a royal-purple t-shirt with a giant red heart on it smack in the middle. It's very simple, but good enough for TV.
"What's the weather like out?" Violet asks me changing the subject.
I turn over at her blankly unable to believe that she would ask such a stupid question. It's the middle of the summer right now and a giant heat wave is going through South Park. "It's hot and sunny," I tell her.
"Have fun at Cara's." she says finishing the conversation and lies down on my bed spreading herself out so she no one can sit on it with her.
I roll my eyes at her knowing she is trying to irritate me and I leave the room. Sometimes I can't believe that I am even related to her and sometimes I like to pretend not too but sadly our looks kind of give it away. Besides the height difference the two of us are pretty much the same person on the outside. Both of us have long black hair, fair skin, and our Mom's violet eyes. We both also have the same nose that looks like a tiny ski slope and the same sprinkle of tiny freckles across it.
I go into the front hall to leave out the front door when I run into Aquamarine playing with her large collection of Barbies. The reason she has so many is from Kate-Linn, Violet and I over the years when we outgrew them we just gave them all to her except for the one or two very special ones we kept for ourselves just because.
"Hi Anne!" Aquamarine squeaks happily and makes one of the little plastic dolls that is wearing a way too sparkly purple dress for real life wave at me. The girl can't say Anna for some reason and forget about Anastasia. I really hate it when she calls me Anne though the name just doesn't suit me!
Besides Dad's blue eyes that are so large on Aquamarine's little face the rest of her is Mom's features.
"Hey," I say smiling my nicest smile at her. "Tell Mom that I'm at Cara's okay?"
Aquamarine nods in seriousness with having such an important job. "Okay!" she screams and leaps up to go tell Mom.
I laugh to myself, she is so cute! I turn over to the door and I walk out to go to Cara's house. Luckily I won't have to be in this piercing heat for so long she lives just down the street from me. Thank God.