Title: Useless
Author: Muerte-chan
Read all of A/N at the bottom for some major hate ranting. Not shipping related.
On that rooftop, in front of Ishida, Ginjo, and Tsukishima, I start to cry.
"GINJO! Give me back my power, Ginjo. Ginjo, GIVE MY POWER BACK! Give it back, give it back!"
No matter what I do, I can't stop my tears. I can't stop the rain, either. Both just pour out, both relentless. This was the first time that I'd cried in eight years.
I need my power back. It doesn't matter that it's some half-ass fullbring, I need to be usefull. I can't stomach the twenty-odd years that my father had.
I was sitting at my desk. Lunch had just ended and the class was taking notes on translating the names of household items into english. Not even five minutes into the lesson, Ishida stood up.
"Ochi-sensei, I need to use the restroom."
The teacher sighed, "Does anybody else need to use the restroom? Sado? Inoue? Kurosaki?"
Ishida and Chad exchanged looks, I wouldn't need to be go to the restroom for a while. A long while. An around twenty-years-ish while.
Inoue looked to Ishida as to whether or not she should go. When he nodded she turned her gaze to me before standing up.
Chad mumbled, "I have to go, as well, Sensei."
"Me too!" Inoue's chipper voice rang out.
"Go along Sado, Inoue."
Once they were out the door, my thoughts turned dark.
What the hell? Was this some Pity-Poor-Ichigo party! Were they so stupid that they thought that I wouldn't see the looks they gave each other, the glances they gave to me?
I felt useless. It was like I was a crippled war veteran- while they acknowledged that I had once done great things, I was no longer of help, I no longer had the power to do anything of use. I was out of the loop, a group where I where I had previously been the center, the leader, the sun, I no longer fit the criteria.
I crumple to my knees. My tears still falling, I can feel Ishida's somber gaze on my back. I stand back up, I'm not going to give up without a fight. I'm prepared to do anything to get my power back, not just my fullbring powers, but any kind of power.
It had been seventeen months since the first hollow attack after I lost my powers. It no longer killed me to see my friends run out the door while I sat in my seat. It was only a small burning in my chest, reminding me that I used to be the one "running out to use the bathroom".
I no longer had the constant friendship that I'd once had with Chad, right after we'd returned from the Soul Society. Our friendship had reverted back to its middle school likeness. A friendship that wasn't always there, but you knew would show up when you needed it.
I was friendlier with Inoue. We were more than acqaintances, less than friends. The two things that had edged our relationship to the friend level was gone- our shared connections to the spiritual world and Rukia, who had been much closer to Inoue than I could ever be.
If I really had to think about it, I'm pretty sure that I'd say that Ishida were closer than anyone out of the former makeshift substitute group. We still argued, were still "rivals", still talked, and still occasionally helped each other out. I think the reason that our relationship hadn't changed as drastically as the others was because he treated me the same as ever. Oh, and he didn't pity me as obviously as the others.
Keigo, Mizuiro, and Tatsuki? Meh, our relationships hadn't changed in the slightest. They were still my friends, albeit my less, although it sounds kind of mean, important friends. I'd bet that if someone studied our friendship they'd notice that we were all only filler friends. I did hang out with them, but our bonds were shallow. Actually, we really didn't have any. But I still cared.
"Ginjo!"
"Hey, Ichigo? Does it bother you that Kuchiki-san never comes around anymore? Are you lonely?"
"Over Rukia? Like hell I'd be."
The truth was, I was very lonely. I missed the one person that always made me feel like I'd belonged. Rukia was home to me, she was my shelter from the rain, of anything that was bad to me. She allowed me to deal and get passed anything. With Rukia and all of my friends by my side, I could overcome the world.
I stumble forward. Protruding from my chest is a sword. But Ginjo and Tsukishima are in front of me, and Ishida can't carry a katana with him! I look behind me, unable to believe my eyes.
"...Dad...?" I can hardly force the words out of my mouth, "...Ura...hara...-san...?"
I grasp the katana coming out of my chest,"...So that's it...that is it then?"
The rain pouring from the sky intermingles with my tears. I stare at the solemn faces of both Urahara-san and my father, and speak again, "Dad...you...too? That's how it is...?"
Dad's eyes hold some pity for me, "...You idiot. It wasn't me who stabbed you. Look closely. You should be able to see their form by now. Just who...is holding that sword!"
I focus on the blur that has just entered the field of my vision. The form is becoming more and more clear by the second. My eyes widen even more than they already are. Rukia smiles at me when she realizes that I can finally see her clearly.
I manage to get out, "...Rukia..." before the faux zanpakuto does its work and restore my shinigami powers.
I'm engulfed in both light and smoke. The familiar feeling of being filled with reiatsu occurs for the third time. It never ceases to amaze me.
The smoke clears, and I'm once again a full-fledged shinigami.
Difficult choices concerning Ginjo, fill my head.
Should I take my time as I kick his ass, or should I go straight to Bankai and one-shot hime? Either way, start my theme song!
Hi, everyone! I know that I said that I'd write a one-shot of 461, but there isn't much I can think up for it. So, I decided to do a short 459 Ichigo POV. Do you know how hard it is to write a present-tense fanfiction! For me, it is extremely, hard!
I really hope that I'm not enroaching on anyone else's one-shot territory. I'm pretty sure that there were at least ten Ichigo POV's for chapter 459, some are bound to be similar - ignores fact that mine is almost a month after everyone else's.
Look! New format~ I'm trying to do the title, author shiz up top and my super long A/N at the bottom. Maybe I'll keep it.
Oh, and I'm not trying to be a hater, but I'm really not that fond of Ichigo's school friends. They're just really useless and there are already too many characters in this series as it is. I'm also very into grouping and Mizuiro, Keigo, and Tatsuki just aren't that special, and I don't want them to become special enough to join the party.
Is it wrong that I was disappointed when both Gin and Ichigo saved them from being the beef to Aizen's cleaver?
And if their trying to join, or at least get semi-involved in, the substitute group wasn't enough to stir up my hatred for them, it was turned on full-blast when Gin died. Now, I know that it wasn't technically their fault that Gin died, but their presence was the opportunity to fight Aizen that Gin took. Maybe if they hadn't been there, Gin would have held off fighting Aizen until later, hopefully, after Ichigo arrived.
Gin is, afterall, my favorite character.
RAWRRR! ICHIGO'S SCHOOL FRIENDS HATE!
And if I ever do write that multi-chapter fic I've been mentioning, you can bet they'll be killed. And not the good "I'm going to Soul Society!" killed, the I've just been eaten by a hollow, eaten by another hollow, eaten by another hollow, eaten by twenty more hollows, who is then experimented on so the body their conciousness' reside in, but aren't in control of, can never be reincarnated! !
Thoughts?
Oh, and the final line is from a demotivational picture by mrfipp on deviantart~
Look out for my upcoming story Rukongai Nights (title not final). Non-pairing Renji and Rukia's past in Rukongai. It'll probably be about four or five chapters, it's setting up a base for a future fic.
I'll post it some time next week, it would've been up this weekend, but I'm going to London. The trip is to see my little baby cousin, Jakson. He's so cute, our whole family is dark-skinned and dark-haired and he's blonde and blue-eyed. We're of Indian descent.
Bye, guys!
-Mue.