Title: Cold No More

Author: -Britts-

Pairing: Taito

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Umm…well, since it's Taito, anyone who doesn't support this coupling or YAOI in general should probably avoid this fic for their own sake. Oh, and there's mention of YURI as well. O.O;; Wouldn't want you to flip and all. Nothing graphic besides some cuddling…oh, and the wet dream in the beginning. O.O;; x2 Oh, and if there are any "undefined characters," just know that they're either Square root signs or pie. Stupid school computers…

Genre: Romance, Unresolved Sexual Tension (UST), SAP…

"I want you."

Matt whirled around, away from the counter upon which lunch was in the middle of preparation, and stared at the brunette who stood in front of him, not even a meter away. "What?"

The other's amber eyes sparkled with a fire born of raw passion. "You heard me – I want you." He slowly…stalked towards Matt. Putting his hands on either side of the other youth's hips, he leaned forward, pressing his lean body against the other, forcing the blond against the counter.

The edge of the linoleum dug into Matt's back as his hands gripped it, white knuckled, but he didn't notice. He couldn't. All he could see were the other's rich amber eyes. All he could feel was the other's strong body pressing against his own, their hips grinding against each other, urged by some ancient, forgotten need.

I'm trapped… Matt thought as he let his azure eyes slip closed. In the dark oblivion, he could feel the other's lips brush past his own, making their way to his ear. Latching onto the lobe, the mouth sucked, licked…and then trailed slowly, agonizingly slowly, down his neck. Hands spread liquid lightning as they ran along the blonde's torso, unbuttoning the red shirt. Lower…lower…

Matt awoke with a cry and bolted upright, panting. Kami-sama… This was the third time he had had the dream, and every time the situation changed, but it had the same dialogue, the same dark, passion-maddened, amber eyes…Those eyes…Collapsing back to the bed, Matt ran idle fingers down his chest to his stomach, soothing the frustrated ache that resided there…and elsewhere…

Looking at the clock he groaned. I'm late…

*****

Tai lounged on the couch in the Yagami apartment. Kari was off with some friends for the day, 'Tousan was putting in some extra work-hours, and 'Kaasan was at some bake sale. I hope she doesn't kill anyone with her recipes… the youth thought with a dark laugh.

Closing his eyes he sighed, ears perked for the sounds he had been waiting to hear for the last hour. While his ears stayed on earth, his mind wandered…to a place where deep blue eyes were all he could see and pink lips and pale skin were Heaven…

There was a knock right before the door opened. "Tai?"

The tan youth smiled before sitting up to regard his visitor. "You're late."

"So sue me."

"I would if I could afford a lawyer, but since I haven't made my millions yet, what say we work on our Trig, ne?"

Matt sighed, patented glare firmly in place as he removed his shoes and lugged his book bag over to where his friend sat.

Three hours later, they collapsed further into the couch and groaned. "No more. Not one question…" Tai whimpered clutching his head.

"I refuse to figure out one more Trigonometric problem. No more tangent of the inverse cosine multiplied by one half of the secant of the inverse cotangent of negative one [1]. No more, dammit! No more!" Matt cried.

They sat in silence as their brains sizzled into oblivion. Suddenly, Tai piped up, "Don't you have a gig tonight?"

"Ano…Aa…I should probably leave soon…"

Tai turned to regard the other.

Matt lay still, apparently lacking the energy required to actually get up and leave. His breath came evenly flowing past his light, rose pink lips. His face was lifted up to an invisible sky, his neck bared. Tai's dark eyes traveled down that pale column, down to the buttons on the red shirt. He watched the other's chest rise and fall as he breathed.

Beautiful… The brunette licked his lips. How he longed to touch that soft skin, to taste those pouting lips…

Matt's eyes fluttered open, blinking up at the ceiling before shifting his gaze to Tai who sat beside him. He smiled, tired. "I should go…" he sighed.

"You…you don't have to…" Tai stated. He cursed himself and his voice for being so weak, so uncertain.

Matt closed his eyes again and groaned as he sat up and stretched. "Iie…I have to go get ready for the show…" Gathering his things from the floor and the table, he stood and headed for the door.

Tai desperately fought back the urge to run up to the departing youth, tackle him to the floor, and lie on top of him and purr. No…no…must keep the urge to act like a psycho fanboy at bay… His eyes followed every move the other made, his eyes trailing down from his face, hidden by his blond hair, down his back, lower to the curve of his tight ass… Well…as long as he doesn't catch me at it… he thought as he shivered. The sex god [2] bent over to lace up his shoes. Tai gasped before biting his lip, praying that Matt hadn't heard him. Blinking, he shook his head, quickly scattering the thoughts, surprised none of them knocked anything over. What's wrong with me?

Grasping the door handle, Matt paused and looked back, a hint of worry tinting his blue eyes. "…You'll be there tonight, ne…?"

"Of course," Tai said, standing and stretching. The quieter, he added, "…I wouldn't miss it for the world…"

Matt offered up a coy smile and left the apartment, closing the door quietly behind him.

Tai's arms crossed over his chest and he stood, pondering what had flashed in Matt's eyes just as the door blinded them from each other.

*****

Matt stood outside Tai's door for a moment. Why did I do that…? Why did I tease him like that…? He buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes, as he walked down the hallway to the elevators. Why in God's name did I lay beside him? Why did he watch me like he did? Why did I stick my ass out for him? I didn't think I was THAT horny…least of all for Tai. God what's going on…?

As he entered the elevator, he let his body rock back to collide with the polished walls.

Why did his eyes beg for more…? And why do I want to give it…?

*****

The club was packed, as usual. Any show of Takin+Chimera [3] would pack a house, and the club owners of Odaiba knew it. More people, more patrons, more money from booze sales. The Teenaged Wolves had disbanded a year ago, Matt being the only one really interested in the music. And as anyone will tell, as a musician matures, so does his style. Better composition, a better band, and a better chance to make it out of the Indies bracket and to get picked up by some scout.

Tai watched from one of the corner tables with the others as Matt drove the audience of rabid fans absolutely insane with his voice, his music, the seductive way he swayed his hips as he strutted about onstage. The colored lights of the club made the vocalist's skin glitter from the sweat that drenched his red tank to a shade lighter than blood. The silver ring in his ear sparkled in the dim light, as did the charm that was fixed to the black ribbon tied around the youth's throat. Thick liner and dark shadow highlighted his penetrating, blue eyes.

Tai laughed softly before taking a swig of his drink. Gackt wannabe… Looking back up at his friend onstage, his thoughts took a somber turn. Do you wear all of this to get the attention you're starved for? Do you do it to hide from all of them? You can't hide from me, Yamato…I always find you in the end…I can give you the attention you want…if you'll accept it…

"Oi!"

The audience, and the few utterly wasted patrons who sat on stools at the bar, called back likewise to the youth standing in the light before them. One fangirl squealed particularly shrill, making Tai wince. Matt didn't seem to notice.

"This is the last one tonight, OK?"

A resounding 'iie' was his answer, along with random reasons to keep playing. The band behind him chuckled.

Matt laughed before turning back to the fans. "Demo, I have homework minna-san. I have an exam tomorrow!" There were a few cries of protest, to which Matt and the rest of Takin responded with even more smiles. "Okay, okay…I'll make it a good last one then…how about a lost-love song…?" The romantics of the crowd roared with cheers and applause. Tai smiled. Always so depressing, Yamato…?

Tai noticed as Reiko, the first and only girl in the band, said something to Matt, who listened intently. Over the racket of the fan base, the brunette couldn't hear what was being said, but Matt nodded his approval.

The lights dimmed and the crowd slowly went silent as the opening chords of the last song drifted into the air. The notes strummed from the guitars were utterly haunting and Tai shivered in expectation as Matt lifted the microphone to his lips…

As I drift off to sleep,

Screaming why

Why will this happen, what do I do?

These are questions I ask

Will we never come about?

Tell me…

Laying here I am cold.

All wrong

No right

Hurting myself to protect you

Hold me

But you're so far away…

The hours are days.

The days are years.

My stationary watch ticks away

Am I so blind to see?

Dare I dream of our end,

I wake up to reality.

Laying here I am cold.

All wrong

No right

Hurting myself to protect you

Hold me

But you're so far away…

Laying here I am cold…

The strumming of the guitars slowly died away and Takin+Chimera left the stage in silence. Tai sat, utterly stunned.

*****

Reiko lounged on the couch in the Ishida apartment. Sora was draped in her lap, the other girl's arms wrapped about her waist. They sat entwined as Matt toiled in the kitchen. The rest of Takin had gone out for some heavy drinking, being old enough to do so [4], leaving the "babies" of the group to fend for themselves for post-show entertainment. The Ishida home was as good a place as any. And she wasn't complaining. After all, the company is great, she thought, laughing softly as she gave the room, and those in it, a once-over. All were present…all except that one guy…what was his name?…She shook her head. His name, she guessed, didn't really matter…but he did have the prettiest amber eyes…

There was a string of profanity as Matt entered the room. "I can't stand that oven…One of these days, so help me God…"

"I take it we're not having anything home-made for dinner, ne?" Sora stated, half asleep in her girlfriend's arms.

"Not if Matt keeps turning it into charcoal…" replied Takeru. He smirked at his older brother who glared in return.

"Oi…urusai. I'd like to see you make dinner."

Izzy promptly took out a cell phone and dialed.

"…I hate you." The other simply smiled.

As the next Bill Gates placed the order, Matt returned to the kitchen to clean up the mess. Reiko laughed and tightened her hold on the red head nestled in her lap.

Matt re-entered just as the doorbell rang. Jyou looked up from his place on the chair, and from his role as Mimi's personal throw pillow, and said, "Delivery couldn't be here that fast…"

"Not unless they ran a bunch of lights."

"And hit a bunch of pedestrians…"

With a sigh, Matt strode over to the door, grabbing a handful of cash in case Mimi's explanation was the right one. Throwing open the door, he was met with a face full of fragrant red roses. Matt gaped.

"Are you Ishida Yamato?"

"Ano…Hai."

"Then these are for you," the deliverer stated, thrusting the bouquet into the other's arms.

Matt blinked a few times, completely confused, before turning back into the apartment and kicking the door closed. As he moved into the living room, the others stared in shock as he placed the vase on the coffee table.

"Who are those from?" asked Mimi, enthralled with the blossoms.

"I don't know…" Matt stated, taking the card, which was tied to the base, and opening it to read, being sure to run it through his head before disclosing the contents to his guests. "Samuke" [5] was beautiful…Beautiful and tragic. Why so sad? Are you really as lost as you say you are…? Why bother hiding, Yamato? Don't you know there are those who see right through you? Don't let your pain boil away inside anymore…talk to me…I'll listen, although I must admit I haven't done so in the past. I hate watching your eyes lose the fire that glows inside them. Have they ever seen you cry…?

You're beautiful in red.

Matt shivered, but quickly hid his reaction to the note and shrugged. "Probably just some fangirl…" Still… You're beautiful in red?" "Seen me cry?" The Hell… Matt bit his lip. No one's…no one's ever noticed how I… He shook his head and repeated his conclusion. "Just a fangirl…"

He looked down at the card once more and couldn't help but wonder…

…Such pretty amber eyes…

*****

Tai stood on the balcony, staring up at the stars. They flickered down at him, laughed at him, mocked him, cried for him…The youth sighed, leaning heavily against the rail that separated him from the abyss. I'm such an idiot… he thought, burying is face in his hands. Why in God's name would Matt ever want someone like me…? Not when he has a fangirl clinging to every available part of him, that's for sure. Tai rubbed his eyes, scrubbing away the tears that resided there. I sound like some lovesick teenager. Laughing bitterly, his thoughts concluded, I am a lovesick teenager. Looking up at the stars again, he sighed, dejected, "Matt…"

"Yes?"

The tanned youth jumped. Whirling upon the intruder on instinct, he stopped short. "Matt…?"

The other walked up next to him, leaning over the railing to gaze down before looking up at the stars. "I wanted to come by to thank you."

"For what?"

Matt shrugged, noncommittal. They stood in silence until that silence became unbearable. "Tai…"

"Yeah?"

"I…" Matt shifted, fidgeting, and turned to look at the other. "I wanted to tell you…"

"Tell me what?" Tai moved a bit closer.

Tell you how much I want you…How much I need you…How much I love you… "I…" Matt's voice choked and died within his throat, to weak to crawl past his lips. He closed his eyes and looked away. He swallowed hard. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes. "I…"

Tai stretched his hands forward to cup Matt's pale cheeks as the latter wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders. Matt closed his eyes as their lips met in a passionate kiss.

[1] "… tangent of the inverse cosine multiplied by one half of the secant of the inverse cotangent of negative one." -- tan ( arcCos ( 0.5 ( sec ( arcCot (-1) ) ) ) ) = tan ( arcCos ( 0.5 ( sec (3π / 4) ) ) ) = tan ( arcCos ( 0.5 (-2 / √2 ) = tan ( arcCos (-1 / √2 ) ) = tan ( arcCos (-2 / √2 ) = tan (-3 π / 4) = -1 . Thank you Mr. Genung!

[2] Yes, Matt is a sex god. Second only to Trowa Barton (Gundam Wing, you silly fangirls and fanboys you…), but that's a different story…*cackles evilly*

[3] Takin+Chimera = "Take in (+) Chimera." Chimera means "fantasy, daydream, figment of your imagination, etc." Take in could be interpreted as "to PARtake in" or maybe "Taken," suggesting a stolen dream. However, being the sadistic fangirl I am, drugged up on the likes of Dir en Grey and Gackt, takin aka "Take in" means…well… think about it…I don't want to go too "in detail" for fear of grossing out the reader. Let's just say, if you STILL don't understand, it's a very Hentai implication.

[4] The legal drinking age in Japan is 20.

[5] Samuke = "Cold/frost/chill" (EVA JEDI). Written from a compilation of poems by Bethany Canfield (butterfly_poet@excite.com)