A/N- Some reunion Minkuri b/c it's late and I've got the feels cx
He was broken. Caught in emotions he hadn't even known he had been programmed to feel: despair, abandonment, depression, betrayal... Clear had been angry before, he'd even cut himself off from the world in bouts of fear and confusion, but he'd never simply shut down. He still understand what was around him, of course, however he was detached, uncaring.
Clear was aware as he sat on Aoba's bed, watching the other man laugh along with Koujaku and Noiz, that he didn't hear them. He didn't mind, Clear knew he wasn't missing out on anything. He saw them but he didn't register them entirely. He didn't care about that either. Maybe a hardware problem, maybe some circuits had really been destroyed by Mink like Aoba had told him.
He didn't know much about that, though. He just knew that one day he'd woken up with a thoroughly frustrated Noiz grumbling at a computer and Aoba cursing Mink's very existence.
His fingers twitched at the thought of Mink, rising slightly from his lap before curling into fists for a brief moment. The only movement he'd made since settling down on the twin bed, and one that he didn't realize earned him a questioning look from Aoba.
Clear missed Mink. He had grown very attached to the man, relishing in his stillness, his peace with the area around him, something he didn't get with from the men before him now. He could talk for hours upon hours with Mink and never bother him, never be interrupted or insulted over something he said that may be foolish. He had been allowed to play with Mink's hair when he talked, and sometimes Mink had fallen asleep right there in his lap.
Clear twitched again, though this time he shifted and looked around. Saw Aoba's mouth move, ask him what was wrong, but the only sound he heard was an annoying buzz in his head.
He reached out abruptly, fingering the silky blue hair and wrapping his fingers around it. Thin and soft, unsatisfying. Clear grabbed Ren, unaware of Aoba's startled protest or the two pairs of eyes staring at him strangely, and scratched the Allmate behind his ears. Nothing, soft and a bit too fluffy. Annoying. He cringed behind his mask before moving to Koujaku.
The man grabbed his wrist, his mouth moved too but Clear paid no attention to it. He shook free instead and shoved his hands into the hair, tearing out the tie that held it back. It felt the same as Aoba's, and his irritation grew. He wanted Mink's hair, his fascinating dreads and the coarse, dry, texture. He'd loved the way it would fall around him when they made love, a heavy and dark curtain that had made him believe they were the only people who existed in the world.
Clear wanted Mink.
Heedless of Noiz's glare and vehement protests, Clear moved to him. Kneeling in front of him Clear combed the blond hair out of his face. He sighed, anger subsiding- Noiz's hair was closer, dry and rough under his fingertips.
But he wasn't Mink.
Determination carried him out of the door and down the stairs. He didn't hear Aoba asking him what his problem was, where he was going, and he ignored the hand that landed on his shoulder at the front door until it stopped him. Aoba's voice cut through then.
"Where are you going," the bluenet stressed, eyes filled with concern and worry.
Where was he going?
"Mink-san," Clear replied, the first words he'd spoken since Aoba had told him the older man had disappeared three months ago.
As expected, Aoba's expression darkened and his mouth became a thin, hard, line. Clear didn't care. Aoba's relationship with Mink had been none of his business.
"He's gone, Clear. If he were in the city, no, the country we would have heard about it by now," Aoba snapped while tugging on his wrist. "It's raining outside, too. You can't go out."
Clear could, and he would.
Clear only nodded politely before grabbing his umbrella and opening the door. He hesitated then, and only then, to take off his mask. Mink wouldn't want him to wear his mask.
Aoba's voice never made it to his ears as he walked out. He didn't know where he was going, where to even begin, and he sincerely believed Aoba when he said they would know if Mink were in the city to begin with.
Maybe Aoba was angry, Clear thought. Angry because he had spent so long looking for him, and when he had brought Mink back he had instead become close with Clear. It hadn't taken long for the both of them to isolate themselves, holing up in the Northern district and only leaving when Mink needed food, or Clear wanted to go outside.
He didn't know why he had disappeared again, but the memory hurt. The wound was still open, deep and raw.
Clear found himself in the Northern district, deserted of course except for the few who had still stuck around after Toue's fall. A few men Clear recognized, the men who had still respected and admired Mink despite his slight change of heart. Some nodded by way of greeting, some waved, he didn't hear anyone speak.
Whatever hopes he had harbored were crushed brutally by that. If Mink were back, these men would be the very first to know, and they would all be swarming the rundown apartment he and Mink had claimed theirs. But not only was the street it was on empty- most too depressed to even look in the general direction, the apartment they had claimed was, too.
It still smelled of cinnamon, though faint and stale, and Clear's chest hurt in response. A dull ache at first that slowly began to throb painfully when he saw Tori, still in sleep mode, right where Mink had left him. That had been the strangest thing Clear had never been able to get over. Why would Mink leave his Allmate?
Setting his umbrella down by the couch, Clear settled on the floor and eyed the bird on the dusty coffee table. He hadn't been able to bring himself to turn the machine on before, but maybe he would know something... anything... about Mink's whereabouts.
The only problem was, he didn't know how to turn Tori back on. Clear huffed and pouted not long after grabbing the Allmate, petting it first to see if positive reinforcement would do the trick. He shook Tori next, poked his belly then forehead, like he had seen Aoba do with Ren, only to cradle the bird and give up with a soft cry of frustration.
"You just need to say his name, Clear."
It took him a moment, but when he put a name and face to the deep baritone voice, Clear dropped the Allmate and quickly put his head in his hands. They were shaking terribly he noticed, but he hardly dared to look. It had to be his memory playing tricks on him, Aoba had said he would know if Mink ever turned up, yet when a hand landed on his head, tugging at his hair, he lashed out blindly.
His fingers curled immediately into a familiar weather worn trench coat, and he pulled the material close to him. He moved his face from his hands to the fabric and turned slightly, cataloging the rich smell of cinnamon and rain. Clear's arms found their way around the leg closest to him, clinging with desperation so strong he was sure he'd never forget the feeling, and that it would take years just to wear off.
"Mink," Clear mumbled into the coat, then repeated the name again, over and over, as if that alone validated the man before him.
"Clear..." Mink sounded tired, weary, but no less pleased though Clear could hardly focus on anything beyond the exhaustion in Mink's voice. Clear scrambled to his feet, yet never took his hands off of the older man, and moved to the couch. He tugged at the wrist he'd managed to grasp with a bit too much force, causing Mink to land with the grace of an elephant beside him, nearly on him though Clear wouldn't have even dreamed of complaining.
Clear looked at him then, really looked at him. The dreads were gone, leaving his hair cropped close to his head, and his features were softer, filled with patience and what looked like regret. Clear grabbed his face, squeezing his cheeks and lips before letting out a breathless laugh and kissing him, sloppy and quick kisses from the brunet's lips to his forehead.
He immediately searched for Mink's heartbeat, desperate for the strong and steady rhythm. Aoba's was faster and slightly unsteady, overall unpleasant, but Mink's sang to Clear. Heavy and soothing like a drum.
His voice came out rough, thick with emotion. "Mink-san," he murmured again against the smooth skin, running his fingers through short brown hair before clasping them behind Mink's neck, one palm resting against his pulse point. He didn't think it would be physically possible for him to let go.
Words weren't needed at that point, and never had been. Clear had no baser desire to ask Mink where he'd gone, why he'd left him without so much as a goodbye, and he didn't care anymore. Mink was with him now, holding him tightly and pressing soft kisses to his neck, his mouth, and his eyes. Calmer than Clear had been and, as a result, easing his excitement and happiness down to a dull tingle.
"You're fixed?" Mink mumbled after a moment, more of a statement than a question. Never a question.
Clear wondered if the older man had been worried, and he found that the idea alone made him happy. It meant that, perhaps, he'd been on Mink's mind when he'd been away.
"Noiz helped I think..." Clear said anyway, wondering if the brunet was fishing for an explanation. "His hair doesn't feel as nice as yours," he added, feeling as if it were crucial to the conversation.
A low growl escaped Mink, chest rumbling and breath fanning out against Clear's neck. Mink's arms tightened around him, a wholly pleasant sensation that Clear sank into, returning the gesture with one of his own. He was careful not too squeeze too hard, however; the neck was a fragile area, and underestimating his own strength could damage something. Even if it was Mink, he was still human.
"You're mine," Mink stressed, all but snarling the word into Clear's ear before biting down on the lobe. A sensation that was neither good nor bad, but reassuring enough that Clear nodded eagerly, breathless, and curled even closer towards the man.
So full of life, so warm and totally human, Clear thought, smiling happily into Mink's shoulder.