In a world such as this, it's hard to find a clean place. Grim and sludge on the shoes of commoners, aristocracy, and street rats alike plaster the main streets, the tributaries of those streets, and the back streets. Additionally, the sickening odor of mildew and rotting things rule over the dark side of town, the 'bad' side. Garbage gets tossed there, and unwanted things linger. Spiders, mice—all sorts of vermin congregate in a cacophonous silence.
Here's where we are, Brother. I wonder if you resent me for this. Do you hate me or my misfortunate red eyes? You know, I've always wondered about this. You can see those golden lights that no one else can, and I'm an unwanted child. We fit together, but the rest of the world—including you—won't acknowledge it. What color are those lights that you claim are everywhere? Surely they can't be as real as your eyes, the eyes that look at me so warmly from behind a veil of fear.
In a filthy world such as this, you're the one thing that remains clean for me. Did you know that I'm tainted, brother? I'm tainted with a burning desire to engulf you so that you will never leave me. If you leave me too, if you abandon me like our parents—
Oh you smile assuringly at me now. You'll never leave me, isn't that right? You're too kind to, and there lies your weakness. Gilbert, it's always been your decency. With you, it's always been about choosing the route that will cause me the least pain instead of the easy one. So many times now, I've woken up to see you half-heartedly walking away. Every few steps, you look back, a pained expression on your face.
That's why I love you, brother. You're so simply good. No matter what goes on around us, you're always so kind. I've been using this word a lot, haven't I? But you see, my dear Gil, that's the one word that I'd choose to engrave into my soul. It's only by kindness that I can keep something as marvelous as you to myself. Even now, you're slipping away from my stained clutches. I try to draw you in with sick fantasies, and you remain untouchable.
Why don't you smile now? Smile like the time when you realized that the golden lights were calling to you?
Hey, Brother—smile at me. Smile for me as I kiss my way down your chest. Let me know that you're here, that you're not in a place far away, a place that fools like me can't even dream of. Give me something that tells me you're alright with this sin that we're committing. Anything but remaining limp and mindlessly compliant. You shouldn't indulge me. If I absorbed you, if I chained you to me forever, you'd never smile again. Yet selfishly, I still want that assurance that you're mine.
Is that wrong, Brother? Will you smile now?
Will you, or won't you?
Will you…?