AN: narrator POV, set post Enies Lobby (SUNNY!), Strawhats up to Brook but excluding Franky (sorry!), more of a crack!fic than anything, really! Let me know of any OOCness. Begin!
Robin blinked, reeling slightly at the outburst.
"…Pants, Luffy?"
"No, no, not just underpants. These are different. Pants are pink and frilly, like yo-"
"YOU SAW ROBIN-SWAN'S PANTIES?" Brook and Sanji cried in unison, the former proceeding to faceplant the nearest wall (a commendable achievement of 45 degrees), and the latter hastily quashing a profuse nosebleed, before being dragged away by a reindeer on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"No!" Luffy cut back in impatiently. "As I was sayi-WAHH!" Alas, the end of Luffy's sentence was not to be, as at that moment, a particularly groggy Zoro woke up from his midday, mid-floor nap, and grabbed the nearest assaultable crewmember, in hopes of ascertaining the cause of disruption.
"…Dinner?" he enquired, of the straw-hatted pirate now sprawled across him.
"-What? No, pants aren't edible, Idiot Zoro. Go back to sleep." Zoro went back to sleep. Who was he to question the captain? Luffy bounced back to his feet, and continued; "ANYWAY, I'm trying to tell you-"
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" came a yell from Usopp's workshop, across the deck. Robin and Luffy barely had time to turn to look before a cloud of dust and grit enveloped them, gnawing its way into the skins of the archaeologist, captain and blissfully unaware swordsman.
As the unnatural fog began to lift, a long nose began to emerge from the distant doorway, followed by the confident leap of its grinning owner onto the deck. "I did it, guys! It's my latest invention – a simple explosive star with the destructive power of OVER 9000 times what it used to be!" Robin looked on, unflustered, a lightly amused smile pulling at the corners of her mouth, as she dusted the microscopic debris from her arms .
Luffy, however, was practically shaking with impatience, arms flapping at his sides as he jumped up and down, seemingly ignorant of the fact that he had just been submerged in a shower of particles of rock. "PLEASE! JUST LISTEN! ROBIN, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT OVERPANT-"
"Pants again! Oh, how my heart is a-flutter with this talk of underclothing – although I don't actually have a heart! SKULL JOOOOOOKE!" a mostly babbled shout-war ensued between the skeleton and the scruffy teenager, as each tried to get their point across, whilst spectacularly missing the point of the other. As the yells reached a new level of volume, the red-haired navigator clambered up the steps to the deck from her quarters, hands over her ears and flames in her eyes.
"STOP!"
"My hammer is a prototype time-bomb, and I just remembered that I left it exactly forty-five-point-three seconds from exploding!" Usopp squeaked a feeble lie, before practically flinging himself back into his (still dusty) room, and placing a good, solid wooden door between himself and Nami, lest he become the object of her fury.
"What in Enel's name is going on?" screamed Nami.
"Pants." replied Luffy, matter-of-factly.
Nami stared.
And stared some more.
She opened her mouth, as if to speak, then closed it again.
And then she stared some more.
"…pants?" she finally asked, anger forgotten, as she once again found herself marvelling at her captain's idiocy.
"Pantaloons, actually. OVERpantaloons."
"Over…pant…aloons?" Nami repeated, utterly confuzzled.
"Yes!" replied Luffy happily. "I was asking Robin if I could borrow her overpantaloon! I'm bored of overpantaloons!" Robin raised an eyebrow.
"Could you possibly elaborate on that request, Captain?" she replied smoothly.
"Um…" Luffy looked to be in deep concentration for a minute. Nami and Robin exchanged a glance. Luffy looked up again, left fist in right hand and smile triumphant as he found his words. "I need an overpantaloon." Nami giggled slightly, and Robin's smile grew as she considered how to answer.
"Well, yes, but… what do you mean by, ah, 'overpantaloon'?" Understanding flashed in Luffy's eyes at Robin's words.
"WAIT HERE!" he rushed below deck, emerging not ten seconds later with a bundle of fabric. As he unravelled it, and raised the fabric pieces, one in each hand, it became clear that one was a skirt, one was trousers, and both belonged to the money-loving navigator.
"Those are mine!" cried Nami, fist raised to clobber the culprit.
"Yesyesyes BUT- I just need them for a moment! To explain!" he began to frantically wave his right hand, which held the trousers, in the air, whilst yelling "Overpantaloons! Overpantaloons! Overpantaloons!" He then raised his left hand, holding the skirt, and did the same again – this time, yelling "Overpantaloon! Overpantaloon! Overpantaloon!" Robin's smile became a grin.
"I see!" she exclaimed, laughing aloud. "Trousers are worn over pants, so they're overpants. I suppose the 'aloon' aspect of them is derived from the length. Long clothes need long names." Luffy logic. "A skirt only has one leg, so it's just an overpantaloon."
During this explanation, it should be noted that two significant things happened: first was that Luffy had continued to chant and wave , swapping arm each wave, and gaining a rhythm. The second is that Brook, looking on the entire time, had been surreptitiously tuning his violin.
These significant events became particularly significant indeed, as Brook burst into song, playing along to Luffy's chant. Zoro, woken by the ruckus, grumbled to no-one in particular, before grudgingly tapping his foot. Robin clapped along, and Nami started dancing, as Usopp, peering from behind his door, decided it was safe to come out, before promptly joining in too. Chopper and Sanji soon emerged from below deck, and upon taking in the scene before them, quickly scrambled up, the reindeer with stars in his eyes and the cook with cotton wool up his nostrils.
The Overpantaloon Party continued well into the night, and into the early hours of the morning, as the joys of the many names for trousers were celebrated with food, music, and, to Zoro and Nami's euphoria, copious amounts of alcohol.
Thus ended another happy day aboard the Thousand Sunny – a day which was for the most part forgotten, but for a burning question that Nami had forgotten until days later; the simple question of why Luffy had wanted a skirt in the first place.
AN: Aloha, amigos! Scary first story!
Where was Franky? He was asleep, perhaps? I'm not sure. For a guy who never wears trousers, he is extremely difficult to write in a way that makes him sympathetic towards trousers. If that made sense.
This story stemmed from a discussion during school formtime, concerning how strange it was that pants can be underpants, whilst trousers (where does that word even come from?) are never overpants. As such, it's more of a crack!fic than anything.
If there are any American readers out there, then I apologise for the trouserocity of this fic. If you would prefer it to be more pantsy, by all means read with a pants mentality. Language differences are entertaining :D
Wherever you are in the world, please review! I'd love to know what you like/dislike about this, and what I should improve on! I have to admit that one of the most appealing things about this site is that it is global. I'd be very proud if people read it somewhere on the other side of the world.
To anyone at NGHS, I apologise for what little sense this made to you. The fangirlishness of this here shy school-community-member is probably a shock. You may need to sit down. Talk to me about it if you like, but don't ask me about the plot. It's 658 chapters long, as of this week, and breaktime just isn't that long. Dang.
Long AN is long, as much as overused joke is overused. Peace out, folks.
Double AN: WHAT THE HECK, FF? WHY CAN I NOT USE MULTIPLE PUNCTUATION? WHAT ABOUT EXCLAIMED QUESTIONS, HUH? HUUUHHH?