Nine years after my first fanfic.

I'm Sierra Sutherwinds, I'm officially back, and I had to do it through the first fandom that inspired my writing.

Disclaimers, Yes. I don't own the characters.

Synopsis: For every road we take, there is always a way back home.

This takes place after The Sound Of Thunder

1.

Colonel, can I ask you a question…" Murdock stared at him seriously, ready to ask a question that had been on his mind for some time now. "Before we were to go back, did you think about it?"

"I remembered it, but I didn't think about it."

Hannibal did not take note on the confusion on Murdock's face. He had given the captain an honest answer to a rather strange question. It was difficult to see that the whole trip and ordeal would have taken so much of a toll on him. Perhaps they had been so busy taking care of Murdock's physical health that they missed the warning signs of post traumatic stress quietly surfacing.

Murdock's wound was almost healed when they got to LA, so there was no problem with letting him go back to the Veterans Hospital. Besides a couple of sleepless nights during the trip back home, Murdock seemed to have returned to his natural state of wild imagination and for a while things seemed to go back into the right course.

"I called a friend of a friend at the Pentagon and this phone number came up." Face spoke slowly as though allowing the suspense to settle in the air. "It happened to be from General Ludlum's office." That caught Hannibal's attention right away. They had not heard from the general since a couple of years before when they had rescued him and his daughter from imprisonment in the jungles of Borneo. He was also one of the few head officers that still believed in the A-Team's innocence.

"Well? Where are you going with this?" The colonel asked impatiently.

"The general gave orders of being notified the moment someone called requesting information on General Fulbright." Face shrugged and leaned back against the table on the deck of what would be temporarily his beach house. "Nothing official; just a few details and this number to get in contact with him."

"Did you call?" BA turned on his seat.

"I thought that would be your job, Colonel," he handed the piece of paper to Hannibal and smiled. "Whatever it is, please, don't give them this address. Honey will kill me if a contingent of MPs slams down the main door." Hannibal nodded and went to use the phone in the living room.

"Honey? That's a cat's name," BA snarled.

"And a top model's in tour for la Côte d'Azur," sighed Face dreamily. He turned to see Murdock leaning over the rail, absently staring at the sea. Any other day, the captain would have cracked a joke about Face's countless female friends who were always running away from him. However, lately, Murdock was just there. No matter how he tried to get back to his old self as the hyperactive member of the team, his heart was not in it yet.

Hannibal conferred with the general for more than an hour. Then, he returned to the table and lit a cigar. Face and BA exchanged glances as though silently deciding who would ask the question.

"That Ludlum is quite something, you know?" Hannibal leaned back on his chair. "Fulbright called him prior to our meeting. He talked to him about his plan of hiring us and flying to Vietnam in search of his son." The colonel made a pause to exhale the smoke. "General Fulbright made it clear that whatever happened there would be under his own responsibility."

"What does it mean?" The sergeant frowned.

"It means that Fulbright got us out of the hook before we bit." Face could not believe their luck.

"Ludlum said that the National Army found the plane where we crashed it and filed the incident as isolated and non consequential. He closed it here and our names were erased from the final report." Hannibal said. "And, as a personal favor, he has started the process to give Tia a refugee status."

"Perfect timing now that she has already settled down at the Mother of Mercy Home in Texas. Finally, we can close this case." Face said with satisfaction. "Hey, our job really pays off. Maybe we could give it a turn; there are a lot of people who actually owe us and…"

"We don't work for that kind of remuneration." Hannibal looked at his friends and grinned. "It's good to know that we leave satisfied clients in our path, though."

"How about that, Murdock? Those are really good news, right?" Face got up and walked towards him. He was getting really concerned about his friend. The wound was not an issue anymore, but he was still looking rather poorly.

"Sure, Face. Really good news." Murdock whispered. "I'm glad... for all us. Tia will be thrilled."

"Maybe we should drive over there and tell her in person," Face said to everybody. "I think we need a long vacation after all we've… Well, you know. We're tired, aren't we?"

Hannibal nodded to that. He understood that Face was talking mainly about Murdock. Back to Vietnam had drained the captain's energy to the limit. Even the doctors at the VA had begun to pay special attention to his unusual behavior. From his part, Hannibal had kept him busy, breaking him out of the hospital for one mission after another and he had responded rather well. Nevertheless, something of his spontaneity was still missing.

Murdock tried to put up a good front, perfecting the art of antagonizing BA. But the sergeant knew his friend was still hurting, so he put up with Murdock's array of personalities and invisible friends without any complain. He even let Billy the dog ride in the van a few times.

"You'd better count me out of this one. I'm…busy for the weekend." Murdock turned and pretended to smile. "You guys go…have fun. Face is right, we deserve a vacation." He could not sustain the façade much longer and quickly looked away. "Tell Tia I say 'hi'."

Face turned to Hannibal as though asking for some kind of intervention, but the colonel seemed more interested in his cigar. After a long pause of merely thinking and glaring at each other Hannibal finally spoke.

"I'm on location this week," he leaned back on his chair. "But I think that you and BA should go. Tia needs to know that we haven't forgotten her. Besides, this is the kind of news you give in person."

Face narrowed his eyes, aware that the colonel wanted them intentionally out of town for a few days. "All right, then, it's you and me, BA; unless you have a lame excuse too."

"Oh, no; I was planning to close the workshop and move here to watch the finals on Honey's big screen TV." BA sighed. "But if you need the company, I'll go with you. In my van, I ain't riding in sissy cars, you hear me?"

"Sure, I- appreciate your offer, I guess," Face glanced at Hannibal while putting the keys of his Corvette in the colonel's hand. The sergeant was already gone when he headed for the door. "It's going to be a really interesting field trip, I tell you."

"Don't forget to take pictures," Hannibal grinned as he and Murdock were left alone. "Murdock, I think you should come with me this weekend."

The captain dropped down his head and sighed as if he had been expecting that. He bit his lower lip while looking for the right words to say. "You just said that you'll be on location. I don't think I wanna spend my time of leisure watching Aquamaniac coming out the water in twelve takes or less. No offense…"

"None taken. I've perfected my entrance, though. It didn't take me more than three shots to get the concept." Hannibal smiled as he heard Murdock's quiet chuckle. "The truth is that I was killed yesterday. I'm completely free." He leaned forward to meet the captain in the eye. "C'mon, Murdock wouldn't you like to spend your time of leisure with a friend? The beach house if free, we've got cable, a fridge full of food, a swimming pool and private beach. Don't tell me you want to go back to the VA just now."

Murdock turned his head to the ocean letting the breeze dry the tears that had rushed to his eyes. He had never felt more vulnerable and defenseless. While one side of his mind wanted to go back to his room at the VA, the other screamed to stay there, with the most reliable and resilient person he knew.

"I don't know, Face. I don't think that leaving Murdock alone is a good idea," BA said as he got the exit line to the highway. "The fool doesn't look good at all."

"Well, he's not going to be alone." Face leaned back on his seat. "Hannibal got fired yesterday, again. He just wanted us to leave him with Murdock."

"What for? Doesn't he think we're capable of helping him too?" BA considered himself as one of Murdock's closest friends. The fact that Hannibal would not include him in this plan was a personal offense.

"Hannibal must've thought that Murdock would feel more talkative with one instead of the three of us." Face understood how the sergeant felt but Hannibal's plans always worked better when executed as he intended. He patted BA's arm and gave him a reassuring smile. "We'll call in a couple of hours to see how he's doing."

Hannibal sat on the deck to watch the sunrise and enjoy a cup of coffee. Everything was quiet at dawn. Except for several joggers, nothing seemed to be in a hurry to start moving that morning. He looked at his watch and raised his eyebrows. He had never gotten up so early on Saturday, especially when on vacation. He shook his head, Murdock's nightmares had returned with a vengeance. If he had keeping him awake for most of the night, he could only imagine how Murdock must be feeling right now. He must be sicker than they had thought.

Suddenly, he heard the TV in the living room and supposed Murdock had just got up. Hannibal entered slowly, hoping that the captain would not think he was stalking him.

"Good morning," He said coming in straight to the coffee maker. "Did you sleep well?" There was no answer but he was not discouraged. He went to sit next to the captain and glanced at the screen. Breaking news announced wildfires in the mountains but Hannibal was more interested on see how Murdock was doing. Dark circles were beginning to settle around the pilot's eyes and he looked paler and skinnier than usual. Hannibal decided to be straight forward now. He grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV. "Did you sleep at all, Murdock?"

"Hey, there's a wild fire up North, it looks important." Murdock caught Hannibal's eye and rubbed his neck as though figuring what to say about that. "Did I wake you up last night? I'm sorry," he honestly said.

Hannibal shook his head. Of course, he had not had much sleep last night. It was not easy to sleep while one of the men he considered closer than his own family was suffering. If he had not rushed to calm him down was because there was not much he could do to ease that kind of pain. The symptoms were all too familiar to all of them; they were Vietnam veterans, nightmares and flashbacks were part of their lives. At different levels, the angst always paid visiting hours, but for Murdock, it was like a constant war. Although he had won numerous battles on his own, the process was a struggle that usually left him very exhausted. Hannibal feared that one of those days, Murdock would reach his breaking point and give up altogether.

The silence was deep while the colonel thought about the incidents that had brought so much anguish to his friend. The first thing had been that trip to Vietnam, the shooting, and Fulbright's death. He could keep making a list.

"How's your shoulder?" Hannibal finally said.

Murdock looked up at him as though taken by surprise. "Fine… A little stiff, but it doesn't hurt anymore." He began to feel uncomfortable talking about himself. "I heard the phone ring last night."

"Oh, yes, Face called. He and BA send you their regards." Hannibal leaned forward, resolved to keep the conversation on track. "Murdock, what's going on?" He did not wait for the pilot to give a straight answer. "We've seen you going from bad to worse since we came back. Something's bugging you and I think it's the time for you to talk about it."

Murdock clenched his jaw until his teeth hurt. He wanted to hit a wall, scream aloud and run away but instead, he took a deep breath and spoke. "I don't know…" He almost chuckled. "That's it… I don't know… It should be as easy as speaking up and letting this out but I honestly don't know what's wrong…" He rubbed his face with his hands and then, closed his eyes. "I think I see it in my dreams, but I forget completely after I wake up… Intermittent amnesia," he chuckled. "Who would've thought I'd be caught in my own net."

Hannibal kept quiet for a moment as though hesitating to say what was on his mind. He straightened up and took a purposeful breath. "Why did you quit therapy?" He waited until the captain looked up at him with a frown. "Richter told me you have missed several sessions since we came back from Vietnam."

Murdock did not show his annoyance for what he had just heard, but he could not help but feeling betrayed in some way. "Are you calling my shrink behind my back now?"

"I didn't, he called me." Hannibal shrugged. "He's your friend too and he's concerned." He stood up and walked around to stop near one window. "Murdock, you have to talk. You can't allow this to happen again." He turned back, confident that the pilot understood.

Murdock did. Nevertheless, he would not respond easily. He shook his head instead and walked away. He felt increasingly anxious and one more minute of that conversation would just needle his anger even more. He locked himself in his room and went to bed. He lied down on his back, his arms folded behind his head and his eyes fixed on the fan swirling above on the ceiling. Soon, the steady spinning made him sleepy.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Hannibal asked from the hallway.

"Got a headache."

Hannibal stared at the close door and nodded. He went back to the living room searching for the phone to make several calls before noon. Then, he sat on the deck, with his mind far from here, wondering if Murdock had been ever okay… Years had passed, but sometimes he felt like he would have never got to thoroughly know the man.

TBC