DISCLAIMER:
JAG and all associated characters are the property of Bellasario productions, CBS, and Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended. Believe me, I'm not making any money off of it either!AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I have just recently ventured into the world of writing fanfic. I have always had an overactive imagination, so I decided instead of making up stories about my favorite shows in my head, I would try actually writing them down. It remains to be seen whether or not I'm actually any good at it. So if you enjoy the story or have any helpful criticism please feel free to e-mail me or review the story.This takes place immediately following the events depicted in Drop Zone.
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Yes, as long as my name stays with it and you notify me.IN ANOTHER'S EYES (part 2)
Mac wearily turned her head to gaze out the small window of the plane. Not the she could actually see anything, but maybe if she appeared to be sleeping the lady next to her would cease her incessant chatter. Normally, she might have been amused by the enthusiastic efforts of her "seating partner" to draw her into conversation. However, the flight back to the states from Australia was a long one and she had too much on her mind to listen to a single mother gush about her vacation in "THE BUSH". She could practically hear capital letters whenever Helen, or Ellen, or whatever her name was talked about her adventure in Australia. Mac was beginning think she was a compulsive liar as each of her 'adventures' took on epic proportions.
"… and then the Kangaroo just attacked the car for no apparent reason! I don't have to tell you of course, that I was absolutely terrified. I mean, that thing had to be at least 7 feet tall and all the windows were down! The tour guide was yelling louder then I was. Thank the lord mama always taught me to travel with pepper spray! I stuck my hand out the window and when he looked my way I let it rip. Of course, I don't have to tell you I was terrified. But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! Just like a man to freeze when there's trouble--- oh stewardess, can I get a mineral water please? My throats a little dry. Thank you… where was I? Oh yes, so that kangaroo took off running right across the plain. I tell ya, when mama told me she was sending me to THE BUSH, I had no idea that I would be fighting for my life on a day to day basis! Why, the very next day…."
Did that woman never stop to breathe? Attempting to block her out, Mac let her mind drift back to her own experiences in Australia.
24 hours earlier
Sydney, Australia
1100 hours
"Mic, wait up I can't walk that fast!" panting, Mac hurried down the beach trying to keep up with Mic Brumby.
"Sorry Mac, just trying to grab a good spot." Mic grinned apologetically. Slowing down, he ran back a few paces and grabbed Mac around the waist. He swung her around until she swatted his back, laughing.
"Put me down! I said slow down, not carry me! Mic, people are staring. What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, I'm just really glad you came. I miss you Sarah." Gently dropping her to the sand, Mic placed a hand on the Mac's cheek, "all you have to do is move that ring to your left hand. We could be married within a month. The admiral would help us you know. I bet we could have you assigned to Australia within 3 weeks." Mic's words came quickly, an almost pleading quality to his voice.
"Whoa there sailor- slow down. You're getting way ahead of me. Besides, I wouldn't be too sure about that transfer. I'm not exactly on the admiral's good side right now- AND we agreed not to talk about that while I'm here. I needed to get away and relax for a while Mic, not plan a wedding." She placed her hand on his arm. "I need you to be my friend right now Mic. Can you understand that?" Mac's eyes met his in an appeal for understanding.
Mic let out a resigned sigh. "Can't blame a man for trying. Now, I believe we have a date with a surfboard."
1800 hours
Mic's apartment
"So do you think someone put the file in your car on purpose?"
"That's the same thing Harm asked me- and I still don't have an answer. That's the obvious answer, but I can't think of anyone that had access to the information that would want to get me into trouble. More than anything, it felt like a personal attack. What better way to have your friends began to doubt you than to have you accused of a breach in ethics?"
"Come on Mac, I'm sure that no one believes you were going to use the information from Section B of the report. We all know you better than that." Mic tried to reassure her.
"Well Bud and the Admiral certainly seem to think I would. The only one who didn't act as if I had committed murder was Harm. At least he believes me" Mac sighed.
Mic shifted on the couch, moving closer to Mac. "I believe you Sarah."
Mac looked up in surprise at the gentleness of his voice. "I know you do Mic."
"Do you?" Mac leaned back, confused by the sadness she heard in his voice. "Why didn't you call me when you first found the report in your car?"
Mac paused, not certain where the conversation was going. "I don't know. I guess it just all happened so fast. I found the file. I went to Harm's apartment and after we talked I burned the file. When I left, it was late so I didn't think to try to call you. I knew you would be asleep—and honestly, I thought that would be the end of it. I never thought that anyone would find out, much less that it would come to the attention of the court."
There was a long period of silence. Mic simply stared at Mac with a strange look on his face.
"Mic?" she finally asked.
"Why did you go over to Harm's? Why didn't you report it to the Admiral? ---Why didn't you call me?"
"Oh Mic," Mac grabbed his hand as understanding finally dawned. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. If I had known this was going to turn out like it had, I would have called you. I guess it was habit really. Harm's my partner and my best friend. I always talk through problems with him. I didn't mean to imply that your support didn't matter to me."
Mic withdrew his hand from hers. "You still wear my ring on your right hand" he began.
Mac glanced down reflexively. "Yes." Confused by his abrupt change of subject, she started to question him further. "What does that…"
"Hear me out Sarah. You're wearing my ring. A ring that we agreed would be a friendship ring while you considered my proposal. Isn't that correct?"
"Yes."
"Think about what you've always imagined your marriage should be based on. Do you have a list of things that you wanted your husband to be?"
"Of course I do. Everyone has an 'ideal mate' list. Mic, what is this all about? I told you I didn't want to talk about this while I was here."
"Sarah, please, will you just answer the question. This is important to me." Mac shifted back startled by the intensity in Mic's voice.
"OK. I want someone who can make me laugh someone who's honest and dependable. I want to know that I can trust him with my life. I want him to know everything about me, the good and the not so good, and to still love me. I want him to enjoy life and enjoy sharing it with me. I want us to be able to fight and then laugh and make up. I want us to be more than just husband and wife. I want us to be partners in the marriage. I don't want to be the only one trying this time. I don't want to marry a stranger. I want us to be best friends." Mac stopped, embarrassed by her outburst. She hadn't realized how much her first marriage had affected her until that very moment.
Mic continued to look at her with a strange expression on his face. "Mac, I want you to answer one last question for me. You said you would like the man you marry to be your best friend. Who is your best friend?"
Mac laughed. "Mic, this is stupid. Why are we even talking about this?"
"Just answer the question. Who's your best friend?"
"Harm, I guess. Mic, you know that already…why…? Mic?" Mac paused as Mic let go of her hand and turned away.
Mic slowly turned back around and Mac gasped softly as she looked into his eyes. He looked as if she had just dealt him a killing blow.
"I guess now we both know why my ring is still on your right hand."
Mac simply sat and stared stunned at his statement.
"What does Harm being my friend have to do with us?"
"It's not Harm being your friend that worries me Sarah. You know we've never really gotten along. I've never pretended otherwise. I used to think it was because I was an outsider- but I always wondered if it was really because of you. I'm beginning to think I was right."
"Harm and I are just friends. We're partner's Mic. That's all." Mac leaned forward, reaching for his hand.
Pulling away, Mic stood up and looked down at her. "Do you realize that whenever you have a problem or you get upset you turn to Harm? I can understand that to a certain degree- you've known him for four years. He's your partner and you've been through a lot together. But when I put that ring on your finger, I guess I thought it would be different. I know we're not engaged yet, but it was still a friendship ring. I guess I thought that if you would actually consider marrying me than I was your best friend." He paused and then kneeled on the floor in front of her. "When you found the file you went straight to Harm. You never even thought to call me. When I asked you why, you said he was your best friend. When you describe the man you want to marry, you describe everything you already have with Harm. You said it yourself, you want to marry someone who's your best friend… and I guess that's not me."
"Mic, you don't understand. You're reading way to much into a few simple comments" Mac started incredulously. Mic reached up and placed a hand over her mouth.
"You didn't even hesitate when you said Harm was your best friend. It never even crossed your mind to say my name. Do you know how that makes me feel? I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but it just confirms for me why you'll never put my ring on your left hand. You love Harm. I knew in the beginning I was only second best- I guess I was hoping that had changed now. I was wrong. "
Mac sat stunned, trying to process the words she couldn't believe she was hearing. "Mic… I don't even know how to respond to that." Her words died out as she stopped, at a loss as to how she should proceed.
"You don't have to. Look into my eyes Sarah. Look into my eyes and tell me if you see everything you say you want in the man you love. Can you imagine spending the next 50 years with me? Think about the last three days, here with me. Were you content? Can you honestly say that you never once thought about Harm? I need to know that you can say that. I love you with all my heart—but if you can't say the same, I…well, I would rather know now than later."
Mac slid off the couch and onto the floor in front of Mic. Slowly lifting her hand to his cheek, she did what he asked, and looked intently into his eyes. She looked into the soul of a man who truly cared about her, saw his hope and desperation… and his resignation. As she considered the last three days of laughter, she also considered the ache she felt every time she had seriously considered accepting Mic's proposal. The thought of leaving behind Bud, Harriet, the Admiral, Chloe, and Harm to relocate to Australia left her feeling sick. She looked deeper into Mic's eyes, searching her own heart for answers, and found them as she suddenly found herself seeing bright blue eyes gazing back at her. Instead of Mic's searching stare, she found herself remembering Harm's eyes as he helped her to bed when she'd fallen off the wagon, when he had comforted her after father's death, held her as she told him goodbye, and reassured her that he believed in her integrity. A collage of images flashed through her mind as she realized that she did indeed long for Harm even as she sat staring into Mic's eyes.
Sensing her realization, Mic drew away from her touch. As Mac began to speak, he once again interrupted.
"Mic, I never realized. I'm sorry I hurt…"
"Don't --- I think I would rather not hear what you've just began to understand. I love you Sarah MacKenzie. Nothing will change that, but I think we both know that you don't belong here."
"Thank you. Oh Mic…I do love you. I just--- I think I had best leave now." Mac impulsively grabbed him and hugged him tight. "Take care of yourself Mic Brumby." Brushing a tear away, she turned and gathered her purse and jacket. With a single backward glance she prepared to leave Mic's apartment. She stopped at the door and slowly turned. Reluctantly she reached for the ring on her right hand and began to twist.
"No." Mic abruptly strided over. He placed his hand over hers. "Keep it. Please. We're not getting married, but I hope that we're still friends. It is a friendship ring after all. Besides, it'll irritate the hell out of Rabb. I deserve that much at least" he smirked at the last.
Mac let out a watery laugh. "I'll treasure it Mic, thank you." With a final kiss to his cheek, Mac walked away from Mic Brumby.
Present
Sighing heavily, Mac pulled the tiny airline blanket around her shoulders. Now what? She was no better off knowing that she loved her partner. She still wasn't free to act on it, especially not with the Admiral's current view of her. No, her only real decision was whether or not to admit it to Harm or just to keep quiet about it. The problem was that she didn't know if she could keep quiet. There was so much she wanted to discuss with him.
I love Harm.
The thought flitted through her mind. She was still surprised at how easily she could admit that now. Thank you Mic. I'm sorry you were hurt, but I'll never be able to thank you for what I found when I looked into your eyes."…why, I even had hives on my scalp! I have never been so outraged in my life. Luckily, I had some benedryl in my bag. I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't!"
A small smile spread across Mac's face as she once again tuned into the continuing adventures of her seating partner. She would decide what to do about her new found knowledge once she arrived home.
THE END