This Mortal Coil

by Gater101

AU. Her entire life, she had known only fear of the Wraith. This new fear, this new enemy of the peoples of Pegasus chilled her to the core more than any other. T-M Rating.

Recipient: jeyla4ever/Camy

Title: This Mortal Coil
Author: Gater101 (Azurehorizon)
Summary: AU. Her entire life, she had known only fear of the Wraith. This new fear, this new enemy of the peoples of Pegasus chilled her to the core more than any other.
Rating: T-mild M
Characters/Pairing: Teyla, John Teyla/John
Spoilers: Season 4 Be All My Sins Remember'd
Warnings: Mild sexu-mal content towards the end.
Word Count: 6632

Notes:Many kudos to those who helped me with this fic. Gateworld's CazzBlade and YappiChik, the wonderful Tielan and my non-Stargate-fan friend, Paulie. This fic would not be without your help, so I thank you all very much. And to Camy, you better enjoy!

Notes1.2: This is a sequel of sorts to two of my other stories. It is AU, Teyla never went to Atlantis but the Athosians and the Earthies are still buddies. John & Teyla have somewhat of a sexual relationship. It's pretty self explanatory when you read it ;)

"Don't stop!"

She tried to, she really tried to but she couldn't. The hand in hers pulled her along, dragging her as her heels dug into the ground.

"I must go back!"

He stopped for a moment, his hands gripping her shoulders, shaking her.

"There is nothing you can do now!"

She sat up in her temporary bed, sweat dripping down her face and back, soaking through her thin night clothes. Her breaths mirrored those in her dreams; sharp and laboured, panting into the quiet night from the exertion of her dreams.

The memory of the destruction of her home world faded from her mind and she slid back into damp pillows, staring at the high ceiling. She had learned how to meditate at a young age and used the knowledge to calm her breaths but it was no use; each time her eyes slid shut the screams of her terrified people would reach her ears, the vision of the alien ships sinking from the clouds igniting a fear so deep she knew she would never be able to shake it.

Her entire life, she had known only fear of the Wraith. This new fear, this new enemy of the peoples of Pegasus chilled her to the core more than any other. The Replicators - as the Earthlings called them - had destroyed many worlds in their attempts to wipe out the Wraith. Their means were destructive, repulsive and it took a certain degree of retuning for her mind to accept that the Ancestors had created such savages.

Her limited knowledge of what the Ancestors truly were had begun to taint her vision of them. If she could, she would have taken it upon herself to rewrite the history, the myths that passed through all the peoples of Pegasus. Her second-hand knowledge of what the Ancestors had done, what they had created and how they had fled – stories passed on from those who inhabited the city of the Ancestors held a more disheartening reality than Teyla could bear to share with her people.

"We received word from one of our ships that an enemy is heading your way, Teyla," Colonel Samantha Carter's voice sounded over the small black radio that Teyla held to her ear.

"Wraith?"

She could hear the hitch in the other leader's voice and she frowned.

"No." Carter paused for a moment and, although Teyla did not know the woman's mannerisms, she could see the way she would have closed her eyes. "We call them the Replicators." There was tension in the woman's voice that Teyla was glad she need not feel. "I'm sending a team through to help evacuate your people; the Daedalus-" Teyla knew that was one of the Earth ships; she'd heard the members of the expedition speak of it many times –"is too far out to help."

"Is evacuation really necessary? We could hide in the caves we use to escape from the Wraith cullings-"

"No." Teyla raised her eyebrows, surprised at the guilt that laced Carter's voice.

"Very well." She nodded slightly and turned towards the voice that called her name.

"Look!" Thera pointed to the sky and Teyla took in a deep breath as she stared in open mouthed wonder as a metal bulk descended from the sky, the sound becoming deafening.

"I fear, Colonel Carter," Teyla spoke calmly into the radio as she watched as the first beam of red light struck the small settlement in the trees. "That evacuation may be too late."

She closed her eyes tightly and rolled onto her side, tucking her pillow into her stomach as the knot there tightened. Her chest constricted and she felt the stubborn sob rise up her throat once more.

The two small Lantean ships had appeared through the Stargate not many minutes later and disappeared into the clouds, golden orbs appearing from seemingly nowhere as the Stargate burst into life.

Less than half of her people had survived.

Only one of the Lantean ships returned.

She had seen firsthand the destruction of some of the worlds that had once been thriving villages; at the time, she had not known what the destruction had been and had assumed simply that the Wraith had gotten angry with the humans and not only culled them but had destroyed, mercilessly, their worlds. She had also ventured to planets where people were dying of a sickness that had spread across the planets with frightening pace. Sentinels at the meeting points on some planets had turned them back instantly but Teyla had ventured into towns and cities and seen the pain and suffering that what the Earthlings called the Hoffan drug had caused. The frightening tales were no longer confined to Wraith feedings, but of creatures that were half Wraith-half human; a race of Ancient protectors who had turned against their masters, and the news of the destruction of the Wraith was not met with rejoice but with fear of what would come afterwards.

The cool halls of the vast city stretched beyond her, her feet carrying her silently through halls she had not come to know in the short few weeks she had spent there years before. The halls were not empty like she had expected, her late night wanderings interrupted by other Earth people, other refugees from other destroyed planets and she was reminded that, despite the extent of her loss, she was not alone.

She so desperately wished that she was.

"We tried to connect for ten minutes, ma'am," a young soldier called up to Colonel Carter as she stood in horror at the top of the main stairway in Atlantis.

Other soldiers tried to herd the masses of people from the entrance of the Stargate where more people came hurtling through the surface. Teyla tried to direct her own people from the main walkway to the steps at the side, to the corridors already lined with bloodied and exhausted people but she was often distracted, looking about in her own horror as more and more people flooded the gate room.

Could the city of the Ancestors shield so many?

"We were taking people from New Athos," Colonel Carter murmured as she descended the steps, the weariness showing in the lines around her eyes, the firm set of her jaw. Teyla moved to her side a few steps above the mass of people, the noise thunderous in her ears. The young solider came to stand by them, his jaw set in a grim representation of what was going on around them. "The infected?"

The man flinched and fingered the trigger on his weapon before relaxing.

"I suppose the Replicators did us a favour by wiping out the hospital in the first hit."

"Captain?" Carter questioned, her brow furrowing.

"We couldn't have moved them all, ma'am. Too many were too sick, quarantined because they'd been infected with the new strain." Carter closed her eyes and sighed, her defeat shining through in her features. "Colonel Sheppard's team, ma'am?" Teyla turned her eyes from the spectacle before her as line after line of people appeared from the shimmering surface to the pensive faces of the soldiers beside her.

Carter shook her head.

"No word from him yet."

The three of them turned to the Stargate again, their faces surprised when the Stargate shut down abruptly, a small cloth pack thudding to the ground as it was cut in two. Teyla turned her head away as many gasped and others began screaming.

"They must have taken out the 'Gate."

Carter nodded grimly and walked away.

The long nights on Atlantis were cold and she wrapped her long cardigan tighter around her body, trying to ward off the chill that had settled deep in her bones. Even on the planet that Atlantis had settled on before had nights that were cold but Teyla had not experienced cold such as she was experiencing in the halls of the outstretching piers. She gathered that this part of the city was less protected from the cold sea winds than the main towers, and she was suddenly wished she was still in the control room high up on the main tower.

Rodney had briefly explained to her how drained the city's power conduit was as a result of having to expand the usage to warm, light and shield further parts of the city where the refugees were gathered. Temporary medical facilities had been set up in each section of the city because the main infirmary was over-run; the Beta site was used as a quarantine for all those infected with the virus that was killing millions of innocent people. Earth's President had ordered the Atlantis Expedition to leave the infected behind.

It was a hard burden for them to bear.

Wandering the halls, she nodded again to people as they flitted from room to room, some in bandages and crutches, others floating past her in a daze she knew would take days to shake off. Many of the refugees were young, almost children whom parents had sent to ensure their safety, to ensure their lineage would continue even if it meant sacrificing themselves.

Teyla would have done it too had Major Lorne not gripped her as tightly as he had when they ran for the Stargate. The Andari's were a naturally shy people and Teyla was surprised to see so many seeking sanctuary within the walls of Atlantis and she nodded as she passed through their part of the Ancestral city.

Teyla wondered what the Ancestors would think of their glorious city being used as a dumping ground for so many people of the galaxy. Once she would have believed that they would be happy to shelter their children but her naivety had long since been shattered.

In the distance, she could hear the alarms ringing, signalling another incoming wormhole, another world ravaged by the creation of her once revered Ancestors and Teyla sighed. Since she had arrived, it had been a continuous influx of people she had known as she'd grown up, half the faces missing, half battered and worn. It was trying and it bruised her soul, and she felt the last tendrils of hope disappearing like smoke in the wind.

"Dial the 'Gate," Colonel Carter told the technician at her side as Teyla stood by to her left, watching the scene unfold beneath her. The Earthlings had been trying for many hours to send a message – a weekly data burst – through to their home planet, detailing the crises facing the expedition. Each time, the dialling sequence failed as another team dialled in. This time was no different. "Damn it," Carter cursed under her breath as the incoming wormhole engaged.

Teyla turned to her and tried to smile; she knew of leadership but even she could not comprehend the stress that the leader of Atlantis must be under.

"It's Major Lorne's team, ma'am."

Teyla and Carter turned to him, eyebrows raised.

"He's only just left," Carter replied as she looked back down to where the four men who had departed stepped through the Stargate, eyes downcast, features drawn. They were alone. "Major?" Carter asked as she and Teyla made their way down the steps.

The Major simply shook his head before turning his eyes to Teyla.

"Sorry; there was no one left." He looked away as his voice caught, the other members of his team's eyes shining also. "There was nothing to salvage."

Carter nodded and covered his forearm with her hand.

"Go get cleaned up, Major. You're home for the night."

The Major did not put up any protest and Teyla was not surprised. The weariness showed on his face and since returning with her people, he had gone out four times, seeking survivors. She did not know how many times he had gone out before that. This latest failure seemed to be the last burden he could carry today.

"No word from the Colonel yet, ma'am?" Lorne asked as he moved away and Carter shook her head.

"Not yet."

"Teyla," a familiar voice said from behind her and she turned with a ready smile on her face. Her childhood friend stooped under the door and leant against the doorframe, his arm cradled to his chest. "I am glad to see you here," he told her quietly and she took a step towards him.

"I am glad we have somewhere to be." Arvin nodded slightly, his face exhausted and marred by many cuts and bruises. "Are you well?" She asked as she came to rest against the wall near him.

He nodded. "Yes; as well as can be expected, at least." She returned his tight smile and resumed her study of the few people in the halls, wandering aimlessly, talking amongst themselves. She heard Arvin coughing lightly beside her and she turned to him, the question in her eyes. "Most of my people were lost to the plague. The doctors here tell me I am well; there was a fire, I inhaled some smoke." Teyla nodded slightly and fought the urge to move away from him. She had heard of what form the plague took and despite his reassurances, she still felt unsure. "And your people? Did many survive?"

She felt her throat close up at the thought of her people but she fought it down, pushed the stubborn tears away.

"Less than half survived the attack."

He hesitated before resting a hand on her upper arm and smiling down at her.

"I am sorry."

She shook her head.

"We all have suffered great losses." He nodded and looked away as two people greeted them with tight smiles. "It would be selfish of me to think mine are more painful or great than yours."

She heard his sigh and turned to see his head low in his shoulders.

"You always were very fair Teyla." She looked away from him. He sighed again. "These people are very kind to take us in."

Teyla did not want to think that they had no choice.

"Yes." She cleared her throat when her voice came out strained. "The Lanteans have been friends of the Athosians for some years now," she said by way of conversation but her words were strained, and she knew he could hear the tainted tinge in her tone.

"We have traded many times with the Lanteans. I am glad they did not forget us when it would have been easy for them to do so."

Teyla thought of how the Ancestors might have done just that; left her people to struggle against these new foes facing the galaxy without so much as a glance back as they fled for another home in another galaxy. They had done it with the Wraith. It was a distinction that set the Earthling's aside from the Ancestors.

"I only wonder how long they will keep us," Arvin continued and Teyla turned to him with a frown. He smiled at her slightly, cynicism tainting his blue irises. "You know as I do that they cannot keep us here forever, even if they wanted to."

Teyla shook her head.

"They will keep us here with them for as long as they can stay; they want to help us, Arvin," Teyla insisted but his words had laid the seed of doubt in her mind. Pegasus was not the Earthlings home, nor was Atlantis – no matter how much they wished it to be. Their leaders on Earth had already commanded them to leave the sick – was it only a matter of time before they were told to return to Earth, to leave Pegasus in the hands of the Replicators?

She did not wish to think of that.

"You are close to them, Teyla," Arvin said and Teyla nodded. "Then you know they cannot keep us forever. It is foolish to believe otherwise."

With that, he ducked back into the room he had appeared from and Teyla was left standing alone in the now empty corridor. Her breath left her in a rush as the door swept shut, and she realised she'd been holding it in. She realised as she looked around at the empty, shadowed hallway how eerie the city could be at night and she wondered if the ghosts of Ancestors who'd died still resided within the walls. She had not thought such things as real since she had been a child but when a shiver ran down her spine, she suddenly wished she was back in her tent on Athos, in the warm comfort of her own bed, in the safety of her lost people.

She fled the hallways as quickly as she could, bypassing people as they approached her, gasping for breath as her legs carried her through the different parts of the city. She needed air; she needed to breathe in the scent of grass after the rain, of fyrus flower in the summer, she needed to feel the rolling valleys of Athos beneath her feet not the sterile air and hard floors of the city of the Ancestors that bore down on her.

Air hit her in a cold blast as she reached one of the many balconies surrounding Atlantis. Salty water hit her face as she lurched over the railing, retching as the contents of her stomach refused to settle after her run. Acid tears rolled treacherously down her cheeks and she cried for the lives of those she had called family. Halling, Kanaan, Beya, Jinto... all of them gone in one fell swoop of a machines wrath. Friends ravaged by a plague that haunted everyone in the galaxy. People left behind, brave soldiers fighting for lives they did not know; sparing themselves for the many. It was too much to ask, yet it was not enough to give.

"Ma'am," a young technician said from her side and Teyla turned to him, her calm demeanour betraying the raging emotions within. "Colonel Carter told me I'd to report to you in her absence." As leader of a trusted people and with Colonel Sheppard still missing off world and Major Lorne sleeping off too many long days, Teyla had been put in temporary control of Atlantis, overseeing the arrival of more refugees. Teyla nodded for him to continue. "We're detecting a ship approaching the planet."

She started at that, sitting straighter in her chair and turned more fully to him.

"Is it the Daedalus?"

He shook his head.

"No. We contacted the Daedalus; they're still scouting the outer rim." Teyla stood and moved over to the blinking panel he'd pointed to. The red dot flashed intermittently and she watched it with rising apprehension. She turned to him, not entirely sure what she should be doing. "We tried to contact them," the young man told her. "No response."

"Can you tell what kind of ship it is?" She asked as she turned back to the screen.

"It looks like an Asuran ship, ma'am."

Teyla felt the hairs on her head try to stand on end as the blood slowed in her veins. She felt her heart thunder in her chest, the blood pounding through her veins. She tried to retain the shivers that wanted to spread across her body.

"Get Colonel Carter and raise the shield." She turned to look out one of the large windows at the top of the stairs. Nowhere was safe. "Doctor Zelenka," she tapped her ear piece. "Please come to the Control Room."

So many had been lost.

And for what?

Her mind could not cope with the absurdity of it and her heart did not want to. She sobbed into her hands, wishing the cool wind that whipped around her would ease her pain, take the burden from her shoulders and magic it away. Life had been difficult to live while under the threat of the Wraith; it was impossible now since the Lanteans had come.

And in that moment, she resented them. She resented the powerful city behind her, loathed the residents within it, cursed the day that they arrived through the Stargate. Without them the Wraith would not have awoken so quickly, without them the Replicators would be happy to live out their lives as they had been doing for tens of thousands of years, without them the one they call Michael would not exist and the Hoffans would not have succeeded with their drug. Without them, so many lives would have been saved.

"Get Major Lorne to the chair room!" Teyla turned to Colonel Carter as she called into the radio, her voice strained. The older woman's hair was tied back messily from her tired face, the dark rings around her eyes not lessened by her few hours sleep. Teyla looked back to the screen in front of her. She felt useless, her lack of knowledge of the devices in front of her holding her back from helping the people around her. "This is when we need Colonel Sheppard." Teyla turned her eyes to the leader once more, feeling a now familiar tug in her gut. Carter turned to her and mistook Teyla's frown for one of confusion. "He has the Ancient gene stronger than anyone on the base."

Teyla nodded. "I was aware."

But Carter wasn't listening. She was typing away at one of the many computers in the room, demanding answers, conversing with Zelenka on the other end of the radio. Teyla had heard him tell her they didn't have enough power left in the ZPM to protect them against the power of the Replicators.

Their sanctuary had been compromised and Teyla felt dread to the tip of her toes.

The machine in front of her beeped and she looked up and gasped at what she saw. She waited a moment, watching as her mind tried to comprehend what she was seeing as the blood once again slowed down in her veins.

"The ship is here."

She stood and turned to the others in the room who had stopped what they were doing and turned to her. Carter closed her eyes and sighed. The room erupted in a cacophony of sound.

"Radek, what can you give me?"

"Nothing!" Teyla heard him shout back down the radio and the others in the room fluttered to life again. "What little power there is will be no good against them."

"Why haven't they started shooting?"

"Major, can you fire the drones?"

"They're hailing us."

The room stilled again.

"They want to talk?" The technician nodded and handed a hand held computer to Carter. She studied it for a moment then nodded. "Major, get ready to fire if we need to."

"I'll try, ma'am."

"This is Colonel Carter."

"Colonel." Teyla sagged back into her seat at the voice, a relieved laugh escaping her throat. "Sorry to sneak up on you like that; sub-space communications were offline."

"Colonel Sheppard," Carter said, the relief evident in her voice. "You gave us quite a scare there."

"I apologised," he replied in an unusually cheeky manner and Teyla smiled at the lightness of the moment. She could hear the collective sigh of relief from the other technicians in the control room as they too sagged back into their own chairs.

"How did you get an Asuran ship?"

Teyla looked to the ceiling as though it would conjure his image and she smiled again as she caught Carter's eye.

"It's not Asuran, it's Ancient." Doctor McKay butted in. "Sheppard's friend Larrin picked us up when she saw our Jumper floating out in space and offered us a ride home."

"Permission to beam down, ma'am?"

Teyla was unfamiliar with the term and as Carter gave her assent to 'beam down', Teyla moved to the balcony around the control room and stood in awe as the room was lit with a brilliant white light before three men and two women appeared before them. Teyla moved with Colonel Carter down the stairs, her smile slight on her lips as she watched John Sheppard watch her with obvious relief on his face. He nodded in her direction as he approached Carter.

"Rodney has an idea."

The touch on her back was light and fleeting and she would have missed it had it not become more insistent. She spun, grabbing the wrist of the intruder and twisted until the arm was up the persons back. Only when the person grunted in pain did she let go, moving away to study his face.

"Ow, Teyla!" John Sheppard exclaimed as he rubbed at his wrist as he rolled his shoulder.

She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head slightly. She did not wish to see him right then, not really. He was a symbol of all that had gone wrong with the galaxy, of all that was still to go wrong. His people... She shook her dark thoughts and opened her eyes, fixing him with a stare she had learned many years before.

"You startled me."

He raised an eyebrow and for a moment the atmosphere was jovial.

"Yeah, I got that," he murmured with a quirk of his lips but it fell flat and she turned away from him, gazing out at the expanse of the city spread before her. She inhaled the salty air of the sea and felt an unexpected calm surround her. The city was beautiful lit up for the night, the grey spires glittering with gold lights, the surface of the sea acting as a brilliant reflection for the wondrous city. But Teyla was not deceived. Within the walls the serenity was shattered, slashed open as the faint sound of more alarms were heard from the control tower. Another planet, another people lost. "I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to speak earlier."

She did not turn to him completely but she could see his hands as he rested his arms on the railing, his weight falling from his legs. He looked tired, as they all did.

Silence descended between them and she breathed deeply the scent she knew she would come to know in the future. It was familiar yet new and she suddenly had the desire to reacquaint herself with it. It was not the scent of home but it was the salty, bitter taste of hope.

She ducked her head and let the breath out slowly, closing her eyes once more as her emotions swelled within her. She was unsure of what she was feeling; of what she wanted to feel. Her emotions told her that the Earthlings would not leave them – she had known them for some years now and it was not in their nature to leave people behind. Her knowledge, however, told her a different truth. The Earthlings had stood by and watched as the first people they'd come into contact in Pegasus were culled, they had left those infected by a drug they helped create behind on a planet to die a slow and painful death; not only Pegasus natives but their own people.

"The people you have rescued do not believe you can – or will – keep us here."

He stood straighter at that and she sensed she had touched a raw nerve within him. The tension that had slowly been diluting into the air around them returned to his shoulders and his face, chasing away the deep tiredness. She turned towards him and watched as his bottom lip disappeared beneath the top one, as his eyes lowered to a sight she could not see.

"We can't." She felt a lump in her throat and she looked away as she swallowed it down. She took a breath, trying to form words but they stuck in her throat and she frowned, her mouth moving while no sound came out. "But that doesn't mean we're going to toss you all out on your ass."

She turned to him and frowned once more, her doubt about the Earthlings returning in earnest.

"They also believe that you will not stay."

He looked down at her with eyes that had seen too much horror, a mind that had known too much pain, a heart that had known too much sadness. The desire to reach out and touch a hand to his was almost insurmountable but she reined it in, pulling back on the habits she'd told herself she would not fall into.

He turned away from her and lowered his head to his hands, fingers digging into his eyes. It was difficult for her to see him in such pain; whenever he came to Athos to help the harvest, to fly the medical personnel – to see her – he always appeared strong, the strain of his life was always hidden behind a mask of control and restraint. But the man before her, she knew, was the man who had shared her bed numerous times, who had wormed his way into her life and heart without her consent... and yet he was not.

There was something missing from his gait, some of his strength and resolve had been destroyed by the horrors they had all faced in the past... she did not know how long. She had seen the changes in him for some time; the last time he had been on Athos, many months ago now, he had been tired and drained and had not left her bed until the sun was high in the afternoon sky. She only wondered how long these horrors had gone on, how long those of Earth had fought for those of Pegasus while the natives had remained oblivious.

"And what do you believe?"

She did not turn to look at him – could not – and she heard his small laugh of indignation. He turned away from her, his head turned to look back up at the City he called home. She knew he revered the great City; that he respected its power but she wondered if maybe he knew he could abuse it. She wondered if he had become as disillusioned with the Ancestors as she had.

"I do not know what to believe."

She heard his sigh as he turned back to her, his hip resting against the railing, his arms crossed over his chest. She could feel his gaze on the side of her face and she turned to him, meeting his eyes for a moment before turning away again.

"We don't leave our people behind," he told her and she believed his sincerity.

But...

"We are not your people."

He closed his eyes and turned from her again, facing out over the glistening black sea. Stars sprinkled the surface – a perfect reflection of the sky above and when she turned to look, the familiar images in the sky were not there. The sky had always calmed her; it reminded her that she was home and that for the moment she was safe. But this sky above her was unfamiliar and she saw small bursts of light where the small Puddle Jumpers and other ships entered and left hyperspace.

"Your people ordered you to leave the infected behind at the beta site." He only glanced at her as the words left her mouth and she tasted bitterness in the back of her throat. "Would they order you leave us here as well?"

"Teyla..." He started but did not continue and she could feel his desperation through the air. He did not have answers to the questions she had.

"And you would go."

There was a beat in which he regarded her, his eyes travelling up and down her body and she shuddered. His intensity had startled her the first time he had made love to her and it still did. She watched as the emotions played across his features, as the confusion and rationale battled within him. She wanted to look away but she could not; his eyes held her captive.

Then he sighed and looked away, his voice low as he answered;

"I wouldn't want to." She too turned away, tying to reign in her own confusion his gaze had caused. On Athos, she had always felt she had some semblance of control over their relationship but here, in his City, she was under his spell and she wondered if he even knew it. She turned to him and watched as he stared at the sky, watching as she had been the ships coming and going, depositing people in the City before leaving and picking more up. He looked contemplative and suddenly older, gray strands standing out against the blackness of his original colour, creases in his skin where there had once been none. The secluded balcony suddenly became darker and she looked around, startled but John did not say anything. After a moment, he lowered his eyes to his hands. "Rodney's plan will work." She frowned at him. "When he figures out how to make it work." He turned to her slightly, his eyes turning to her and meeting hers as he continued to face the horizon. "We won't need to leave."

She studied him a moment and then sighed.

"You cannot be so sure."

He quirked a smile in her direction and she fought to return it.

"I learned long ago never to underestimate him or his ego. If he says it will work, it will work." She watched him as he tried to convince both himself and her. They both remained unconvinced by his words and he eventually turned back to the horizon. She leaned against the railing with her back to the ocean, watching as the lights high above her twinkled and blinked, some dimming as the occupants of the room tried to sleep. She envied them. "I wouldn't have a choice," he said quietly from beside her and she turned to him, studying his moonlit profile.

The Earthlings would leave, she knew, once their leaders gave the order and she felt her stomach roll again. She wondered if they would protest, or if they would be glad to leave their mess behind.

"I see," she managed passed the lump in her throat and she blinked away the sudden tears. He didn't turn to her and she was thankful. She wanted to run, to hide in her room, to prepare her people for their departure that would inevitably come. "I must retire."

She did not wait for him to respond before she pushed off from the railing, though her body was sluggish and her legs weak beneath her. She could not move fast and she felt the fatigue flood her body but she continued. She was dimly aware of the balcony around her brightening but the tears in her eyes blurred her vision.

He touched her wrist lightly and her skin burned at the contact.

"I wouldn't want to leave. Not Atlantis, not this – not you." She sobbed lightly in the back of her throat and she felt him tug on her wrist and she went to him, despite her mind's protests. "Come here," he commanded gently as he tucked her into his body, his hand on her neck guiding her head to his chest. She felt his chest rise as he sighed into her hair and she could not stop the tears. "I'm sorry," he apologised as he stroked her back but Teyla wanted him to stop, to let her reign in the control that his gentle touches would not allow. Her skin burned at his touch despite her tears and she sobbed harder into his chest. She knew he was not good at this but she could not stop this. "Rodney's plan will work," he assured her quietly and she wanted to believe him. "We're not going anywhere." She felt his lips on her forehead as he pulled back slightly. "I won't leave you."

The words startled her and she turned her head up to him to see the pensive stare on his face; she knew he had not meant to say those last words but there was conviction in his tone and uncertainty on his face and Teyla knew, in that moment, that he truly believed in Rodney, in the plan, in her.

She reached up and tugged his head down to hers and in the instant before his lips met hers, she believed in it too.

When they pulled back, he smiled lightly down at her as he rested his forehead against hers. He opened his eyes and she smiled up to him.

"Come to bed with me, Teyla."

She looked down.

"Only if you promise me it will not be the last time."

He tilted her chin up and traced her jaw with his finger, making her shiver in his warm embrace. His eyes studied her face and she felt her lips part as his eyes caressed her, as his arm pulled her closer to his body. His lips touched hers and she sighed into his mouth.

"I promise." He kissed her, his hand finding its way into her hair at her temple, his tongue probing her mouth with a fire she knew had been kindling for some months – too many. She felt her body respond to his kiss, to his touch and she felt weak under his power and she wondered if perhaps the wondrous city had control over her too. Her back connected with the railing gently as he spun them, leaning into her, pushing her over the edge and she moaned as his hips ground against hers. "Promise me you'll stay."

And in that moment, when his lips followed the incline of her neck, as his hands wound their way under her cardigan she would have promised him everything, would have given him anything.

"I promise," she replied throatily once his eyes returned to hers and she shuddered under his intense scrutiny. "Take me to bed with you, John."

He growled felinely and pulled her by the hand through the empty corridors to his quarters. As he lay her down on the bed, hovering over her, Teyla knew she could not ever leave. Not this place, not Atlantis – not him. As he thrust into her, the rest of the world didn't matter. As he murmured her name in her ear, the Replicators ceased to exist. As she came crashing down around him, he was her world, her family, her home. And as the words she had not believed either of them would say passed ardently from their lips, she knew they would be okay, that he wouldn't leave, that she would stay.

They lay quietly, some hours later, watching the morning sea mist disappear as the rising sun burned it off. She did not turn to him as he extracted himself from her, could not watch as he prepared to give up his life for people he did not know. She did not want to watch as he did what she expected of him.

"Teyla?" He questioned quietly and she closed her eyes as he leaned over her to see if she was awake. She did not want to think that this could be the last time she saw him. "I'll be back," he whispered into her ear before he kissed her cheek. She felt his forehead against her temple and something wet dripped onto her skin. She bit back the sob. "I promise."

She heard the doors swish open and she sat up, calling his name. He turned to her and she could see the shimmering tracks where the tears had slipped from his eyes. She stood and the sheet fell from her body, and she shivered against the cool air. Her nipples hardened and she could see him lick his lips.

"I'll be here," she promised him as she threw her arms around his neck. She pressed a kiss to his neck, to his jaw, his lips and she felt her own tears streak down her face. "I promise."