All he seemed to do was sigh, nowadays. He supposed, as he lay alone in the large interior cage that was Grimmauld Place, there was no one to tell him not to. The Order hadn't been by in days, and it had been days since he had gotten out of bed, much less washed his hair. The floorboards creaked in harrowing agreement with his every move.

He had been hiding for two years now, and it was driving him mad.

At first, he felt it was simple. Every day was a routine:

Get up.

Enjoy a stale breakfast.

Maybe spend some time with Buckbeak.

Avoid Kreacher,

and never make enough noise to get his mother talking.

It wasn't like he wanted the pity surrounding him like dull clouds of dust with his every step. It was just, well… there was nothing left to occupy him.

Sometimes he'd go days without talking, and his mind was a cage for his body, which, incidentally, happened to stay sane only so that it could be locked up in what was, granted its size, an even more suffocating prison.

And sometimes the downtrodden muttering wouldn't stop, and he had never thought it was possible for all the 'why me's and the 'i hate this's and the 'wish someone would write to me's to make the already airless dwelling even more devoid of life. It was really as though the others and the Order and Harry and Remus were the only ones who could fill his lungs again. And these loved ones were friends he rarely got to stay in contact with, as the children were just that, fifteen-year-olds caught up in a game much bigger than themselves and placed under rule of a tyrant. Remus was God-knows-where, risking his life day after day after day bargaining with his 'kin'. It killed Sirius to know that there was always a chance that the same thing could happen to his best friend.

Emotion was amplified in the old house, with only Sirius's reckless judgement to console him.

God, he missed them so much. Every day, every single day, he would get out of bed and hope to the heavens that Harry and Ron and Hermione and the twins were trying their damndest to find joy in the kindling of the Ministry at Hogwarts, that Remus was safe and (because he sure as hell knew that Remus wasn't happy) at least trying. That at least Remus was better than he was.

He knew he wasn't a big man. He had known that from the beginning. He had just hoped he was strong.

A hooded figure whirled into view onto the doorstep of Number 12, and Sirius had barely enough time to think, Shit, before the brass doorknob twisted open.

"Hello?"

Remus's voice was instantly recognizable, and even in the short greeting called from down the stairs, every syllable was filled with worry.

Sirius's every nerve was aflame. He pulled his hair into a quick, messy ponytail, and tramped down the wooden stairs.

The movements of his old friend's jaws were muted by his dear mother.

"DISHONORING THE FAMILY, LETTING WEREWOLF FILTH SET FOOT INSIDE THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED-"

It took Sirius a moment to realize that the woman he was refraining only slightly from screaming himself hoarse at was only a painting. He closed his mouth, a bit abashed.

Remus silenced Mrs. Black with a lazy flick of his wand. He looked Sirius up and down. Sirius's cheeks burned… maybe he shouldn't have neglected his hygiene on the occasion that Remus would appear.

On the other hand, though, Remus Lupin wasn't looking as easy on the eyes as he once had. Though scarred as usual, Sirius couldn't help noticing the dirt that lined his skin, the new scars that lay scattered and angry, fire-white on Remus's body. He traced one lightly with his finger. "Remus…"

Remus sighed. "Let's sit. I'll explain later. It's been so long, Sirius, I kind of just want to catch up."

Sirius led his friend into the kitchen and took a seat on an old wooden chair next to the counter. It squealed in resistance as his weight dropped upon it. He exhaled slowly, blowing an unkempt strand of hair temporarily away from his face.

Remus's eyes were lit with worry. "Forgive me, old friend, but you look a bit worse for the wear. Are you all right? Has anything happened?"

Sirius managed a small smile towards the stricken face of his best friend. "I'm okay, really. Nothing's happened… I guess that's kind of the problem."

Remus cocked his head in slight confusion. Sirius stopped him before he could bring it up.

"Nevermind, forget about it." After the words were out of his mouth, he felt rather selfish for his solitary pity party while his best friend had been out risking his life again and again. "It's fine. I'm good. There's really nothing to talk about on my side of things. How about you? How has it been going with the werewolves?"

Sirius tried to cast the worry well away from his blue eyes, as he knew it would only irritate his friend. He'd been like this ever since he had met Remus- and the latter hated it, which he'd verbalized in a few arguments they'd been in ever since their Hogwarts days.

"I can hold up my end of a fight," Remus had said once. "It's kind of rude of you to act like I can't."

But those days had been older, golden but rusted, farther away than Sirius had ever known them to be. And yet the fierce, dog-like protectiveness of Remus Lupin had never gone.

Remus rolled his eyes. He'd always been able to see right through his best friend… and as Sirius noted himself a few times, he wasn't really the best hider.

"Oh, don't do that to me, Padfoot." Remus shoved Sirius playfully on the arm. "I'm just as okay as you claim to be." He winked. "And I'm sorry I haven't written to you. It would have just been-"

"Too dangerous," Sirius answered for him. Then he smiled. "I understand. Harry's been saying the same thing. It'd just be nice to be in the loop once in a while."

Remus locked his gaze onto Sirius's. It was alarming, how fiery the gray eyes were able to be when they connected with the wateriness of Sirius's.

Sirius blinked. Remus sighed again.

"You really hate this place, don't you."

Sirius put his head on the dirty table. "You've no fucking idea, Moony."

Remus straightened up in his seat, as if making reaching a decision.

"Would you like to get out?"