A/N – I was listening to John Barrowman singing Anything Goes, and decided to write this. It's my first Torchwood piece, and it's not to be taken seriously. It was fun to write, and I hope it's fun to read. Please note, however, that I do not own Torchwood or the song.
Anything Goes
It had been an exhausting day at Torchwood. They had to deal with three weevils on the loose, and another young blowfish. Why they're so keen on coming to Earth, Jack will never know.
What he did know, however, was that the team needed to have some fun.
He knew that Gwen and Rhys had been having some problems. (Most likely since she is currently working more hours since they lost…no, he still can't think about it.)
And Ianto, well, he had started fieldwork not too long ago, and is now doing more than he ever expected.
So Jack decided it would be fun to take them to a little karaoke bar he knew.
As expected, Gwen jumped at the chance (to prolong going home) and Ianto needed some encouraging. But Jack managed to get the young man to agree.
So the three walked to the bar. Jack had wanted to drive, but the other two did not feel like risking their lives more than they already had.
After about ten minutes of walking, they reached their destination. They went inside, and while Gwen and Ianto picked out a good table, Jack went to get them all drinks.
Twenty minutes, and several drinks later, the three were pleasantly buzzed. They clapped wildly when the last drunken karaoke singer had finished.
The manager at the bar asked for another volunteer. He was walking around, and picked out Jack.
Grinning like the Cheshire cat, he hopped on stage, while Gwen clapped enthusiastically and Ianto groaned.
Grabbing the mike, Jack said, "I'd like to take us back with a song I've liked since the '40s." Everyone in the bar, except his coworkers, clapped, thinking he was definitely drunk.
The music started playing, and Jack started singing.
"In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now God knows, anything goes. Good authors too, who once knew better words, now only use four letter words, writing prose, anything goes."
At the next part, Ianto started muttering things to Gwen.
"The world has gone mad today."
"Sure has."
"And good's bad today, and black's white today, and day's night today."
"Sure feels like it."
"When most guys today that women prize today are just silly gigolos."
"Like him."
"And though I'm not a great romancer."
"No, just a big flirt." Gwen snorted at that.
"I know that you're bound to answer when I propose, anything goes."
Jack looked at Ianto when he sang that part. Ianto just looked down while Gwen giggled.
"When mothers pack and leave poor father because they decide they'd rather be tennis pros, anything goes."
"How many mothers do you know who do that?"
"And Grandmamma, whose age is eighty, in night clubs is getting matey with gigolos, anything goes."
"Who would admit to that?"
"If driving fast cars you like."
"Jack."
"And low bars you like."
"Jack."
"And old hymns you like, and bare limbs you like, and Mae West you like."
"Jack."
"Or me undressed you like, why nobody will oppose."
Once again, Jack was looking at Ianto, grinning away.
"And every night the set that's smart is indulging in nudist parties in studios, anything goes."
"Only Jack would know that's a fact."
During the musical interlude, Jack did a very strange little dance. Gwen was laughing so hard now, she was clutching her sides. Ianto just refused to acknowledge that it was Jack up on stage.
"So though I'm not a great romancer, I know that you're bound to answer when I propose, anything goes, anything goes. Anything goes. Anything goes."
While singing that last part, Jack jumped off the stage and walked up to Ianto, pulled him out of his seat, and danced around while holding the last note.
When he finished the song, a huge round of applause could be heard as he dipped Ianto, still grinning.
When he finally let go, and they took their seats, Ianto spoke.
"I think it's time we head out. Good night, Gwen. Jack, you're coming with me."
Jack looked confused as he asked where they're going. Ianto smiled before replying.
"Back to my place, where, as you sang, anything goes."