Sometimes, in Rhyme's dreams, her body doesn't feel like it's hers. It feels like something is pulling the parts of her together, like the beads of a bracelet with string threaded through. Too much force, or a sharp pair of scissors, and she'll fall apart and scatter to the wind. Sometimes, that's exactly what happens, the parts of her scattering right before she wakes to a static-like feeling in her head. Sometimes, the dreams just leave her there, alone, purposeless in the void.
Those ones are the nightmares.
When Rhyme accompanies Beat to Hachiko, smiling at his impatience at the others' tardiness even though it's they who are early, she wonders what had happened in those days she never truly experienced in the Game. She wonders what the point of it was. Of playing the Game, that is. Things have, more or less, remained the same. Beat still fights with their parents. She still calms him. Nothing has changed.
... Maybe that isn't quite the right. Beat has stopped running away.
And then she sees Neku and can't help but think how different he looks when he has a small smile that makes him look like an awkward kid who doesn't quite remember how it goes, but is too shy - or proud - to ask. She shows him how it's done, and he quickly mirrors her broad smile... before Beat catches him in a rough headlock. As Rhyme laughs with them - boys - she can't help but wonder what happened to the moody teenager to make him willingly seek company.
She doesn't have long to wonder; someone has arrived and Rhyme doesn't recognise her, but Rhyme does recognise the toy she carries.
"Shiki!" Neku calls, breaking out into a broad grin as Beat lets go of him.
And with that, they're all reunited. Even though Shiki looks different and her body language different, Rhyme can see the same glimmer of mischievousness in her eyes when she laughs and teases everyone. No, that's not right, Rhyme amends when Shiki laughs again. The bitterness that used to be there, buried behind a smiling face, is gone.
All of them have changed.
Except Rhyme.
Rhyme thinks it all has something to do with the Game. She knows she's missed some days after she pushed Beat away from the shark noise. Imagine her amazement when she found herself living the week before she and Beat died! Maybe that's why there aren't cases of people who have died suddenly coming back to life all over the news. But, she supposes, that's not so important; she's still alive now. Beat didn't fight with their parents when that night came around. Something must have happened. She's certain she hasn't dreamed playing a Game of timers and Reapers and Noise.
But no one will talk to her about it.
Beat is the first one she asks, of course. But when she tries to talk to him about the Game, he gets a dark look and something close to pain flickers behind the angry front he puts up. She doesn't want to see her brother in pain, so when he tells her to forget about it, she pulls the conversation to steadier waters, but doesn't forget the look that had crossed his face.
Shiki is the next person she asks, because the other option is Neku, and while she isn't intentionally shunning him, Rhyme feels a little closer to the older girl. Rhyme waits until Shiki's friend is gone - she often wonders about their exchanged appearances - and their conversation has slipped into something easy and casual before she asks her question.
Shiki's smile freezes for a split second, and Rhyme doesn't miss the furtive glance in the direction of Eri's exit, before she smiles and shakes her head. "Sorry, Rhyme. It's a long story and I, um, just realised I forgot Eri's got my notebook!" She stands, hurriedly trying to stuff Mr. Mew in her bag, but has difficulty as she rushes - more haste, less speed, Rhyme thinks. "I'd better catch her before she gets on the train! See you tomorrow!"
And Shiki is gone. Rhyme doesn't push Shiki to finish her 'long story' when she next sees the other girl; she can see Shiki hopes she won't ask.
Two of three. The results so far are a little discouraging, and with Neku being the least talkative of the three, it'd be easy to assume he won't talk either.
But Rhyme knows what they say about assuming... And regardless, she is a believer in hopes of success, never mind the odds! So when she happens upon Neku alone in Miyashita Park, watching people from a bench, Rhyme approaches him with an easy smile that she's realised will guarantee one from him in response. "Mind if I take a seat?"
Shaking his head, Neku shuffles over to the side for her, even though there is plenty of space anyway. Rhyme isn't sure how to phrase her question, not when the last two times didn't end well.
Neku watches her for a while, before he finally says, "You've got something on your mind. Spill it."
She gives him a small sigh. Busted. She figures she might as well answer, since he asked. "What happened? After I was-" She doesn't finish her sentence, doesn't dare to say erased to him, remembering how Beat and Shiki had reacted.
Neku's eyes widen anyway, and a range of emotions flicker across his face. She can't quite put a name to them all, but she spots sadness, frustration and hurt amongst a small measure of happiness. His initial reaction is to turn away, but he stops himself, as if remembering something, and sighs, facing her again. "It's complicated," he hedges.
The fact he is semi-willing to accept her meagre offer of conversation is something Rhyme eagerly latches on to. Watching him carefully - she can't miss this chance to learn more! - she says, "I can listen."
He gives another sigh, and Rhyme is relieved to see the sadness and the hurt lift from his face. "I don't think I can tell you everything that happened. Heck, I don't even know most of what was going on. And..." The hurt is back, and Rhyme regrets, just a little, for asking Neku. "Just because I got over my pro- what happened, doesn't mean it's easy to talk about it."
Rhyme finds herself hovering between wanting to press further and withdrawing from this conversation with an apology. Before she decides on one, however, Neku digs out a pen and notebook. Curious, she watches him tear a page out - she can see all sorts of squiggly lines and music drawn on the opposite page before he shuts the notebook, hiding its contents from her sight - and hastily scribble out a name and address before holding out the page. "Here. I..." Neku's expression falters for a moment, unsure, before he shakes his head and smiles, "...think he'll tell you about the Game if you ask. He definitely seemed to know more of what was going on than I did, at least."
Tilting her head to the side, she takes the page and asks, "Is there anything I should know before going to see your mysterious friend?"
Or someone he met during the Game? Maybe friend isn't the right word. While Rhyme hates to think badly of anyone, it was quite obvious when she first met Neku in the Game, he wasn't the sort to have many friends. If any. Even now, she can see making friends isn't something that comes easily and naturally to the spiky haired boy.
A pause, before the corner of Neku's mouth twitches upwards in a slightly stifled laugh. "Yeah. Start saving your yen."
They talk a little longer about small things that have nothing to do with the Game. Safe topics, like school and how things are going with Beat. When Neku leaves to head home, Rhyme realises she doesn't know very much about the older boy. Or Shiki, for that matter. Yet they're all still fast friends. She resolves to rectify her lack of knowledge of her friends in the future, when she isn't looking at the name and address she has clutched in her hand. Cat Street. It isn't far from Miyashita Park and she has another two hours before she needs to be home.
Her feet start walking on their own.
Her pace is a little quicker than usual - is that excitement at the glimmer of progress, welling up inside her chest? - and it doesn't take her long to find herself standing outside a café, staring at a sign bearing the intimidating words, CLOSED. She peers through the window and can see someone moving around inside. She isn't sure if she should enter when the café is supposedly closed. But maybe that's Neku's friend inside, who won't mind talking to her?
Hesitating, her hand hovering at the doorknob, Rhyme finally works up the courage to open the door. The man behind the counter immediately looks up at the sound of a bell, and shoots her a pleasantly surprised, but friendly smile. "Why hello there! I wasn't expecting anyone to come in, you know. Especially with the sign outside."
Rhyme ducks her head. "Sorry!" she apologises quickly, before the rest of her words come out in a tumble. "Are you a friend of Neku's?"
He nods, and relief floods her and makes its presence known as a smile. He puts down the cloth he was using and leans against the counter. "Sure am! What's Phones been telling you about me?"
She's a little surprised though; she'd been expecting someone around Neku's age, not an older barista, to be Neku's mystery friend. "He said you can tell me about the Game."
His surprise is back, and the silence between them gets swallowed in the crowd passing outside. Rhyme shifts uncomfortably under his gaze - maybe he doesn't want to talk about the Game? - and he has a strange look on his face, like he's listening to something she can't hear. Rhyme waits patiently, quietly hoping this will be a breakthrough.
The look clears quickly, and the barista puts down his cloth and beckons to her. "I believe I have some reports you might be interested in."
Rhyme is quite honoured Mr. Hanekoma allows her into the WildKat's back room to read his reports in peace and quiet. When she first reads them, she has no idea what's going on. The reports don't detail the specific events they refer to, so the second time she visits the WildKat, she brings a notepad and pen to write down her questions to ask Mr. Hanekoma when he isn't attending to customers or his own work. If creating art can be called work.
She spends most of her free time in the café's backroom, poring over those reports and asking Mr. Hanekoma endless questions about the Game. She feels a little guilty for taking up so much of his time with what must be silly, obvious questions to him, but when she voices her fear, the barista waves it off and places her coffee on the table next to her. "Most people don't want to know about the Game. I've been wanting to pass knowledge to someone who wants to know more for some time, now."
She feels a little less guilty about it when she realises these visits are eating generously into her savings.
Rhyme soon discovers more than she ever imagined, and she thinks that maybe she should be afraid, but all she can feel is giddy fascination.
It's strange, discovering there really is such a thing as angels and she can't help but try to imagine Mr. Hanekoma as the angel he is in poorly drawn doodles on paper. When he sees them, he grins and tells her angels don't have halos. And when she calls him a "Guardian Angel" - it's hard to figure out how to repay the one who saved her and her brother's life - he laughs and laughs at some private joke before he takes her pictures and tapes them onto the walls of the back room next to his own creations.
Sometimes, when she looks up from her reading, she sees a grey haired boy behind the counter, talking to the barista in a quiet voice. He seems to be a friend of Mr. Hanekoma, so the one time he catches sight of her, she gives him a small wave. He returns it with a smile before he turns and leaves.
Other times, she spots Neku visiting, and his conversations with Mr. Hanekoma are often a little louder than the grey-haired boy's. Neku usually brings in some unfamiliar music that gets played on the café's speakers to an attentive Mr. Hanekoma. Hidden behind the walls of the back room, Rhyme likes to pause in her reading to close her eyes and listen. She knows Neku is aware of her presence at the WildKat, but the one time she wanders out to say hello, there's a fleeting expression of discomfort before he returns her greeting.
At some point, she realises report 21 is missing from the stack, but when she asks Mr. Hanekoma about it, he shrugs and tells her it isn't vital to learning what happened in that Game; it was just about the alternate world the Composer had fled to.
It takes her a good part of a year of dropping by the café to exhaust her questions regarding the Game. She feels she has some better insight into the changes in her new friends and her brother. But it feels a little sad that her report reading days have come to an end.
Standing to leave, Rhyme gives Mr. Hanekoma a short bow. "Thank you for letting me bother you all year."
He makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "That's it from Skulls Jr.?"
Rhyme thinks for a moment. No, it isn't it from her. She hasn't finished yet. "Actually, I was wondering... do I have a lot of Imagination?"
She isn't quite sure why she asks this question. It's been quite some time since the Game by now, and now that she's going to be saying goodbye to the many hours spent learning in the quaint little café, she can't help but feel a little adrift. The others seem to have found direction in their lives and she still hasn't. Maybe it's just easier placing the blame on her lack of Imagination, but...
Mr. Hanekoma hums and taps out a small snatch of rhythm on the counter with his fingers. "Plenty. About as much as Neku. Maybe more."
...Huh. "If there are other people who have the same level of Imagination..." If she has the same level of Imagination, surely there are other people like that, too. She knows enough of the world to understand that skill levels are often common, but personality and character make the difference. "... why Neku?"
Mr. Hanekoma just gives her a shrug. "Can't claim to know what goes on in His head all the time."
For some reason, that answer disappoints her more than it should.
Rhyme leaves the WildKat with a smile and a wave, her feet taking her to Shibuya Station so she can head home. She intends to think over what she's learnt over the year, but those thoughts are quickly chased away when she spots Neku at the platform, nodding like he's listening to music, even though he doesn't appear to be wearing his headphones today. Running up to him, she gives him a wave. "Neku!"
He jerks out of his private thoughts, surprised, before he turns to face her. He smiles when he sees who it is. "Rhyme! Heading home?"
She nods, just as the train arrives. She likes that Neku gives smiles more freely now. She can't help but think it's a good change. "Mhm!"
When the train pulls into the station, they both step through its open doors. It's crowded - when is it not? - but at least today there's enough room to keep some personal space.
It isn't long before Neku decides to speak. "Did Mr. H answer your questions?"
Rhyme nods. "Yeah. I think I learnt a lot!"
"It doesn't scare you, does it?" His words are cautious, and she doesn't know why.
She shakes her head. Neku, for some reason, looks quite relieved at her response.
A thought occurs to her. "Hey, Neku?" He gives her a grunt of acknowledgement, and she takes that as permission to ask her question. "Where's the Shibuya River?"
He nearly chokes, but saves himself at the last moment. Shooting her an incredulous look, he says, "Why do you want to know that?"
"That's where the Composer lives, right?"
"That jerk? I mean," Neku backpedals, and she can see all kinds of conflicted feelings in his expression, "why are you even looking for him?"
There's a hint of protectiveness in his voice that reminds her of Beat, and she can't help but laugh a little at that, though she wonders about the 'jerk' part. "I just want to ask Him some questions, is all," she explains, trying to keep her eagerness to find more answers out of her voice. "Mr. Hanekoma couldn't answer everything, and I think the Composer would be able to."
Neku eyes her warily. "You're really interested in it, aren't you?"
She notes his explicit lack of the Game's mention, and Rhyme suddenly realises, belatedly, she probably shouldn't have brought up this topic while they are on a train where people can overhear their conversation. Too late now, no use crying over spilt milk. She nods. "Yeah."
Neku gives a great sigh and gives her a softer look - concern? - before he says, "Look, I don't want your brother socking me in the face for directing you towards danger so…" The train is slowing down, and Neku quickly continues, his words coming out hurried, "don't go looking for him at Shibuya River. He's usually at the WildKat when he's not busy."
Rhyme doesn't have the chance to question Neku further; the doors of the train open and Neku raises a hand to her before he steps off onto the platform.
Mr. Hanekoma seems pleased when he sees her again, and is more than accommodating in allowing her to just hang around, even promises to let Him know she's looking for him. Every time she leaves the café, she can't help but feel a little twinge of disappointment, but she repeats good things come to those who wait in her head. At least her time isn't wasted; now she knows how to make coffee for her parents. Beat was suspicious of her newfound skill, but backs off when he finds out she's been learning from the 'Coffee Man'. When she isn't learning the art of coffee, though, she sits at one of the tables near the counter and doodles little pictures on her notebook. Usually abstract things as she tries to capture those fleeting dreams she keeps having.
One day, she's surprised when the grey haired boy - she hasn't seen him for a long time, now -approaches her for the first time. He sits down across from her, setting his cup of coffee on the table, and says casually, "I hear you've been looking for me."
It takes a moment for his statement to process. No way. But now that she's thinking about it, it does make a kind of sense. "I'm Rhyme," she says by introduction. "Thank you for letting me meet you, Mr. Composer."
His mouth quirks up into a smirk at her words. "I hardly think we need such formalities. Joshua will do."
"Joshua," she corrects herself, before she moves on to the real topic at hand. "Why did you choose Neku as your proxy?"
Why him and not me? There's no jealousy in either of her questions, just curiosity.
His 'answer' is less than enlightening. "Do you miss your dreams and ambitions?"
Rhyme can tell this conversation might become longer than she had expected. "It's hard to miss something you don't remember," she sighs. But, she privately admits, she can't help but feel a little… sad? That something that used to be a part of her - an important part of her - is missing. The words of those Secret Reports give her hope, and Mr. Hanekoma did say, "I can have new dreams, eventually."
"And then you'll be the same person you were before the Game." He levels an even smile at her, though she can see a hint of amusement in his expression. "That's what you wanted, right?"
Rhyme opens her mouth to reply, but the words catch in her throat; she can't decide whether she wants to say yes, or no. "I think," she begins stalling. She thinks that maybe a part of her does want to have her dreams back, so she has a reason, a goal, to work towards again, like Beat does now. But instead, Rhyme shakes her head. "I don't want to be the same person as before."
Joshua's smile simply widens when she says those words, inviting her to continue. Rhyme can't help but have the feeling the Composer writes scripts that other people inevitably wind up following. Nevertheless, she continues, fingertips lightly touching her chin as she thinks aloud. "I'm very lucky to still be here after losing the Game. And… not changing," unlike Beat, Neku and Shiki, "means I haven't learnt anything from the Game. The Game's purpose is to," ruthlessly, "teach people, isn't it?"
The Composer's grin becomes cat-like. "The Game has nothing to teach you… as a Player. That's why Neku was my proxy, you see. After all, there's hardly any point in testing whether Shibuya's closed off residents can change, and then picking a sociable little thing like you."
It makes sense to Rhyme, but while Joshua's finally answered her question, now he's gone and added more! "You said the Game can't teach me as a Player," she begins. "What do you mean by that? Does that mean it can teach me if I'm not a Player?"
He gives her a small laugh - it sounds more like a giggle, actually - and leans back in his seat. "Do you know what happens to people with many dreams, Rhyme?"
Rhyme thinks he really is rather like a cat, toying with her and holding her answers just out of her reach. But she knows he'll eventually give her answers because he seems to want something from her, and Rhyme is patient enough to wait and see just what it is. "No, I don't." She thinks he'll probably tell her why anyway, but there's no harm in adding, "What happens, Joshua?"
"They burn out trying to chase them all," he says lightly. The casual and flippant tone he uses sound at odds with his next words. "And it makes me very sad to see an Imagination's potential be snuffed out like that." Giving Rhyme a sidelong look, he continues in a low voice, "It's such a shame Neku's Imagination is so strongly connected to the RG…"
Rhyme makes a face at him. "Hey, don't just kill him again!" She's well aware of what 'handpicked' meant in the Secret Reports. "I won't let you."
Joshua just laughs at her, and she does feel a little silly for saying such a thing. What can she do against a being such as the Composer? A small part of her mind says throw Joshua's coffee in his face, but she ignores it. Even if it seems like can't do anything, she'll still find a way.
She still has a huffy expression on her face when Joshua doesn't immediately rule out the possibility of killing Neku to recruit him. Instead, he idly waves a hand and rolls his eyes like he's insulted. "Please. I'm not about to disrupt Neku's happy little life influencing the RG for me." He reaches for his coffee, and Rhyme relaxes a little. Joshua makes it clear that's not the end of the conversation, however. "Neku's Imagination isn't suitable for the UG anymore, but yours…" He trails off, dangling his words before her like bait.
Rhyme takes it. "What about it?"
Making a face as if he's deep in thought - Rhyme is aware he already knows what he's going to say - Joshua says slowly, "You know… in a place like the UG, where it's small and constrained, it's impossible to become lost in a sea of dreams."
Rhyme thinks over his latest words and the rest of their conversation. Even though she can't remember her old dreams, she does remember what it was like to have so many. Every time she tried to follow one, she could feel the others calling her. "The Game can't teach me as a Player, huh…"
Joshua leans forward, like a cat before pouncing. "In the UG, I can give you a dream to follow."
Rhyme considers.
"Tell me more."
Author's Note: Not as polished as I'd like, but sometimes you've just got to cut your losses and move on. The idea was spawned on the 26th of April, completed on the 26th of May. Thank you for reading!