a/n: Wow, it's been a long time. Let me just say that this fic wasn't even supposed to happen. I know it's not what I promised, but it's something I came up with. Rest assured that a continuation fic is on the way! But for now, I hope this will appease you. BTW, this is completely unedited and was written late at night so please forgive any stupid mistakes. I'll fix it up when I'm more awake, promise.

Disclaimer: I don't own RK.

Longing for You

You were staring at her again today and I felt a little piece of me crumble. Is it really so much to ask that you would dream of something realistic? Maybe it is. But I guess what is so very obvious to me is not quite so obvious to you. Maybe I can see more clearly than you because I'm not emotionally involved.

No, that's a lie. I am emotionally involved. Just not the same way you are. You are emotionally attached to someone who doesn't even know you exist. She's high above you in the social ladder.

And yet, I'm right here, always by your side, and you still can't see. I'm just your precious little Kaoru-dono. Just your best friend. The one you can cry to when she doesn't notice you again. When she forgets your name for the hundredth time when you say something to her.

It's not fair.

She doesn't know you and she's never going to love you the way you want her to. It's impossible. I know that you try to make her realize that you're alive, but I wish you could see that she just doesn't care. Even if she did, she has a boyfriend. He's her world and there's no room for you in that world.

But there's room for you in my world because you're all it consists of. Can't you see that? Can't you see that every time you talk about her and your love for her that it kills me a little on the inside? I guess you can't cause you're still doing it. Every day.

Sometimes I just want to shake you. Shake some sense into you. But I never will. Because I love you and I'd never do anything to harm you, even if it was for my gain. Because if you aren't happy, neither am I. That's what makes this so hard for me. You aren't happy and I'm not happy. And even if you were happy with her, it would kill me.

I just wish I could make you understand somehow. She doesn't know you and she never will. Not the real you, anyway. She doesn't know that when you smile, your amethyst eyes glow with a light all their own. And she doesn't know that when you laugh, your whole body radiates with your mirth. I can.

We would make such a wonderful pair, I think sometimes, if for no reason other than the fact that we were both stupid enough to fall in love with someone who will never notice us.

So with a sigh, I look away. I can never watch when you make a fool out of yourself for her. Always for her. Never me. Shaking my head, I walk away. There's no way that you'll even realize that I'm gone. You're too busy with Tomoe, as usual.

So I walk home alone for the third day that week. I'm getting used to it since you've been ditching me more and more lately. And as you've been drifting away from me, I've been drifting away from the world. It's so dumb, but it's happening.

I guess that's what happens when you're invisible.

I slowly release my breath and push the door open to my house. My parents aren't home yet and the house is quiet. I drop my things and head up to my bedroom. I think about calling you or even sending you a text, but decide against it. It's not like you would even answer me. Especially since you were in her presence when I left.

Instead I pull out my diary and pour my heart out.

Just like every other day.

Owari

a/n: Remember to drop a review! They make me happy! :)