My Christmas Angel
One-Shot
Rating: T
Summary: He always stood in the snow this time of year, looking up to the sky, for the one he loved...for the one he lost. InuxKag.
Inspiration: The snow.
Revision: December 14, 2009.
My Christmas Angel
Looking out at the falling snow, I felt my heart break a little. It was around this time of year, wasn't it? It had gone by so fast. Then again, time always went by fast. You always try to hold onto moments, but they slip through your fingers.
And then you're left grasping for it.
A sad smirk found its way to my lips as I stood in the middle of central park, slowly being covered by the soft drifting snow. It was snowing like this one the night I lost her, too.
It was getting dark, not that you could really tell. The sky was so grey, it was hard to see where day ended and night began. I watched as she ran in front of me, twirling around and around, her raven locks spinning around her.
I smiled at how innocent she looked, wrapped in that black jacket, mittens, a scarf and a hat adorning her as her bright blue eyes laughed, her hand reaching out for me.
"InuYasha, come on, it's really fun!" She exclaimed. Her smile was so big at the time. I could feel her happiness and for a moment I just cherished watching her spin round and round in the snow. Shaking my head, I declined.
"Come on Kagome, we got to go, it's Christmas eve, and I still have to wrap my presents for Miroku, Sango, Koga, Ayame, Sesshomaru, Rin and Shippo." I added emphasis on just how many presents we had to finish wrapping.
"Well come here first and then we'll go home…please?" She did her puppy face, I usually couldn't say no to that face, but it was cold and I was irritated at having to be out. Shaking my head again I saw Kagome sigh and laugh, rolling her eyes at me as her petite body kept dancing and her eyes staring up at the grey sky. I was just content watching her drift like an angel on clouds.
"Come on Kagome. We better get going…" I turned my back and started to walk, knowing she'd follow. But as I took a few steps forward, not hearing her follow I frowned. Turning around, I was just fast enough to see her small body fall to the ground in a slow, painful thud.
I didn't have time to think, I only had time to panic. I had called Emergency as soon as I had gotten to Kagome. I think I knew deep in my heart what was happening, but at the time I was so confused.
And scared.
I remember seeing flashes of white as we were rushed into the emergency room. My head hurt, my eyes were throbbing and I felt numb all over. We went into a room and I remember seeing all our friends there and her mom, grandfather and little brother. They asked me so many questions but I couldn't answer any of them.
I tried to speak as the doctor pushed us out and rushed her into surgery. I tried to say anything, even just a sound, but it felt as if I had lost my voice. I sat there, in front of the room marked for her, just staring, because I couldn't do much else.
I remember Sango, Kagome's best friend, pacing back and forth, running both hands into her brown hair, her eyes tearing up again and again. Miroku, her boyfriend and my best friend, tried to comfort her but he wasn't helping much.
Koga, who had had a crush on Kagome in Jr. High for nearly three years was cursing left and right, his ice blue eyes in a constant glare. Ayame, his girlfriend, sat on the chair, just looking at the hall, waiting. She didn't know Kagome very well, and hadn't liked her to begin with because of Koga's crush on her but the two had become friends over the years.
Sesshomaru and Kagura sat quietly in two chairs. They didn't say a word but if you looked close, Sesshomaru's gold eyes were darting back and forth every now and then and Kagura's hands were balled into fists. I swallowed thickly, trying to stop the sob that was nearly half way up my throat.
A few minutes later she arrived, we all gathered into the small room, her mom and Grandfather sitting by her side, holding her hand tightly. Her mom looked just light her, but older, with short wavy black hair, her grandfather was older, with white hair and a stern look. Her little brother was standing between them, his bottom lip trembling as he wiped his brown eyes.
I shook my head. This was real. It couldn't be! Not this…not Kagome dying.
The doctor stood with a solemn face, relaying the news.
"She's not going to make it. The cancer spread, she'll be in and out of consciousness for the next while but I don't expect her to last the night. I'm sorry." He whispered and moved away. The silence in the room was painful. No one said a word.
"We knew this day would happen…" Her mother whispered. Somewhere along the years, we had all forgotten that Kagome had cancer. She had never spoken about it, in fact, I don't even think Koga, Ayame or Kagura knew, judging by the surprised look on their faces.
I had known. I had known all along.
But I had denied it.
And now it was going to take Kagome away.
No one had moved for nearly ten minutes before I stepped forward, slipping my hand under her limp one, I squeezed it tight. Closing my eyes as I sat down in the chair beside her bed, I let my tears free now.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered. Sorry I hadn't done anything. Sorry that I was going to let this cancer take her away.
Sorry that I didn't tell her just how much I loved her everyday of her life.
"I love you." The sentence broke my heart. This was the last time she was ever going to hear me say those words. The sob I had tried to bury finally let lose, my body shaking as I buried my head into the bed.
I had never known true pain until that moment.
For hours we had stood there, everyone just crying, she had entered into consciousness and unconsciousness, drifting awake and asleep. Every time she woke, she would instantly start crying.
"I'm dying…aren't I?" Her voice sounded so rough, like she had been screaming for hours on end. We would all start crying, not saying anything.
"I'm so sorry…" She whispered and we would all, immediately shake our heads and tell her it wasn't her fault, that she couldn't do anything before her eyes would suddenly shut.
She did that three times, and when the third time came, she just looked at me, her baby blue eyes didn't shine as they used to, her skin was draining of color and her lips trembled.
"I love you…" She breathed out softly. I nodded my head, shutting my eyes as a few more tears leaked out.
"I love you too…" I whispered back, moving over and pressing my lips lightly to hers in a kiss. She kissed me back, though her effort was large, her strength was small. She looked into my eyes, as if asking for forgiveness for leaving me and I smiled back gently, telling her I had forgiven her.
That was the last time I ever saw her beautiful blue eyes.
That night, surrounded by her friends, Kagome Higurashi died, loved by all and never forgotten.
"Hey, Yasha!" Miroku yelled from the sidewalk. I glanced over, raising an eyebrow as I stood in the middle of the park, the snow drifting down slowly.
"Yeah?" I yelled back.
"We're getting tried of you standing their like a creep. It's Christmas Eve and we had lives, unlike you, so could you hurry it up?" Koga growled out. I turned and flipped him off, rolling my eyes as I turned back to look up at the sky.
"Leave him alone, Koga." Ayame gave him a small nudge as the group stood, trembling from the cold, watching me. He grumbled and rolled his eyes.
"It's been five years, and yet here he is, still standing in the snow like he had all those years ago." Miroku whispered, wrapping an arm around Sango. The years had gone by slowly. The first year had been terrible. On the day she had died, I hadn't been able to leave the house. Everyone had tried to get me to come over for Christmas, to celebrate her life instead of moping around but I hadn't found the strength to.
Slowly though, I had been able to celebrate Christmas again, slowly I had healed. But still, there will always be the scar in my heart always the memory and the guilt that if maybe I had just danced with her, if maybe I had just did what she wanted…
She'd be here right now, twirling in the snow.
"Alright, let's go." I said as I finally started walking towards them. Ayame shivered and her teeth chattered as she glared at me.
"It's cool that you love Kagome this much…but this is definitely the last time I stand here waiting for you." She shot out. I laughed and wrapped an arm around her, shaking my head when she tried to move away. Miroku glanced over at me and smiled.
He understood that doing this every year soothed my soul and put my heart at ease.
"When we get back, let's get some hot chocolate!" Sango suggested. The group nodded their heads, conversing about the treats they would make that night for Christmas as I slowed down a bit.
Looking back one last time to the white sky and the drifting snow, I smiled.
"Good bye, My Christmas Angel. I'll see you next Christmas Eve."
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A/N: Bam! Another one down! Haha. I'm on a roll, kids!
Take care,
Vixen