Easier to Run: Peter Pettigrew
"You returned to me, not out of loyalty, but out of fear of your old friends. You deserve the pain, Wormtail. You know that, don't you?" 1
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
"Do you promise never to waver in your faithfulness and loyalty to your master and to complete any tasks set forth with out hesitation and without thought?"
Peter hid the fear in his voice and stilled his shaking body when he announced the assembled body. "I do."
He knew he was sentencing his so-called friends to death, but they had pushed him to do this. They were the ones who pushed him away, straight into the waiting arms of Lord Voldemort.
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
"He's come to try to kill me again!" Pettigrew squeaked suddenly, pointing at Black, and Harry saw that he used his middle finger, because his index was missing. "He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me too. … You've got to help me, Remus. … " 2
Peter was shaking again. The guilt was weighing down on him, but he couldn't take it back now. It was said and it was done. Two of his closest friends, whether they thought of him as a close friend or not, were dead because of him. He was always the black sheep of the group, yet Lily had always been kind to him and he still killed her.
If I could change I could
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAYED YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" 3
Peter waited for the wands to fall and the spell that would end his life be said. But it never came. Harry stood between him and his would be killers. His blood froze as he realized what it meant for him. He would have his life but he would forever be indebted to Harry Potter, son of those he killed. And a debt like that would not to be the advantage of his master, but it was a debt that had to be repaid.
If I could change I could
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave
Peter was caring for his decrepit master and yet he still feared him. His body still shook when he touched him. Still, all in all, debts had to be repaid.
"It could be done without Harry Potter, My Lord."
"Without Harry Potter? … I see…"
"My Lord I do not say this out of concern for the boy!" 4 Wormtail was lying through his teeth to the one man that could see through the most elaborate of lies. And he didn't care. He wanted the end to come.
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
"They are there, My Lord. The Potter just like you asked."
"Very good Wormtail you have done well."
It was the night that sealed his fate. The night that James and Lily made him their secret keeper and the night that Peter sold his "friends" to the most evil man on the planet. He was as good as dead.
Sometime I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories that
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There'd never be a past
"Oh, come on, Wormtail, it was just a joke." Peter cradled the arm that was almost just broken by a bounding black dog.
Peter tried to smile but it wouldn't come. It came out as to more a grimace.
"We better get going Padfoot or we're going to be late for McGonagall's class and you know how she gets…"
He pushed away the pain and vowed that Sirius wouldn't be able play another joke on him.
He didn't.
If I could change I could
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
"How could you Sirius?" he yelled to the crowded street more than to the man who used to be his friend. "James and Lily! They're dead because of you!"
"Dead because of me?" the man in front of him asked. The muggles around them started to stare and Peter pulled his wand out from his sleeve ready to use it. "WHY YOU!!!" came a yell and the man surged forward.
Peter felt the pain of his finger coming off and then the spell was said. The words that Sirius said never registered in his mind. He transformed into his rat form before the ministry officials could get there. A nail in his coffin was set in place.
If I could change I could
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave
Tonight was the night that the debts had to be cashed in. The night that Peter's life would end. He knew it the moment he decided to go the Order of the Phoenix with information that would ultimately bring his master down and save Potter's life. He had never really changed. He was still the man that served the side that would serve him. But this side would bring the thing he wanted most, the peace of death.
Just washing it aside
All the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
"I bring news, …" the traitor whispered. The group of people before him looked murderous but one face knew the truth and that face was all that mattered. Harry Potter knew the truth and Peter's debt was repaid.
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
It may be easier to run, but he was done running. He was going to face death head on, as he should have done the day he faced Sirius. He should have never returned to Voldemort. He should have never taken the Mark in the first place, but he did and this was his fate.
(It's easier to run)
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move I would
(It's easier to go)
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
HERE LIES PETER PETTIGREW
REDEEMED TRAITOR
MAY HE REST IN PEACE
A/N:
1 Voldemort (Page 649 GOF U.S. Edition)
2 (Page 367 POA U.S. Edition)
3 (Page 375 POA U.S. Edition)
4 (Page 8 GOF U.S. Edition)