I hadn't intended for things to get this out of hand. But I suppose I should have expected it when I started hanging around him. Jack was never the type of person to keep things in control. And right now, my whole world felt upside down. But as much as I hated to admit it, I didn't hate it as much as I wanted to.
But let's face it, jack knew how to make things fun.
He was the local farmer, or at least that's what he considered himself to be. He moved in about a year ago, took over his grandfather's old farm, and told everyone in the village that he was going to make something of himself. And we didn't think anything of him for the first month, well I didn't anyway. I mean, his grandfather was THE farmer. He owned nearly two hundred acres of land, about a hundred cattle, ten race horses-all pure bred, fantastic, thriving race horses, and nearly three hundred chickens that put this tiny little village on the map. Anyone in comparison was just….incompetent. but I would be lying if I didn't say that I was rooting for him. I knew what it was like to be in the shadow of an elder who thought little of you. And in the will of his grandfather, it was obvious that the only reason Jack inherited the farm was because the old farmer had literally no one else to give it to. by the time it got into his own hands, it was half the size and in such bad shape that the harvest goddess herself probably wouldn't come down to bless it. But Jack was persistent. And he overcame obstacles that most people would have turned down or turned away in a heart beat. Little by little, I watched his little dirt patch become a field full of crops. In months, he managed to turn out about 3,200 a month. I mean it wasn't great for a farmer, but hell, he wasn't bad for an amateur either. I was happy for the guy…well at first, anyway. He had some how managed to turn around and actually make something of himself. his grandfather would have been proud. But you have to understand….we were the same age. And as happy as I was for him, I was still under the watchful eye of my own superior. And while jack thrived and flourished in his accomplishments, I was stuck in the same shitty situation that I have been in since I came to this dead end village. My grandfather belittled everything I tried to do. And any time I tried to be the least bit confident and proud of my work, he managed to find a way to drag the confidence out of me. I hated it. And the more successful jack became, the more I started to resent him.
I didn't mean to let it show. I mean, I tried to be nice to him. Every time he entered the shop, I greeted him. Every time he said hi to me, I waved in his direction. And every time he smiled at me, I tried to smile back despite how wrong it felt. But unfortunately, I was never really good at hiding my feelings. And even more unfortunate, Jack was never really good at pretending that he didn't notice when someone was coming off a little too strong. And when he approached me outside of the bar one night, a little too heavy on wine and food, he got cocky enough to mention it to his best friend in this village.
"yeah I don't know what Gray's problem was. I think he's got a stick up his ass." His arm was slung around Kai's shoulders, tugging at his neck as he was being pulled out of the bar. I guess he didn't see me, or maybe he did and just didn't care. And normally I wouldn't let things like that bother me. Most of the time, I brush it off. Anyone else, I would have scoffed, rolled my eyes, or pretended not to hear it. But that night, it bothered me. For some reason, it really bothered me. Maybe it was because of the exhausting day I had with my grandfather. Maybe it was because it was jack. Ok, definitely it was because it was Jack. I don't know why, but something about him always set me off. And that night was no exception.
I don't remember saying it out loud, but I said it.
"My problem is that you just don't know when to shut up, jack." I hadn't meant to say it, but I was just so mad. Jack was so good at everything, he was so…so perfect, and I was…well…
I was gray. So of course, I overreacted.
Jack had heard me, he and Kai both. And when they turned around to face me, I saw a look of remorse on Jacks face if only for a split second. I knew he was sorry to say or, or he was sorry to have me hear it. But that wasn't enough to calm me down, especially when what I said set him off.
We exchanged a few ugly words that I only remember vaguely. I remember that he had called me an ugly, carrot top asshole and I called him something along the lines of an immature playboy. I couldn't insult his looks, because he wasn't exactly an ugly guy. He was quite handsome actually. And when I called him that, he laughed and it actually sounded quite genuine. From that night on, however, nothing else seemed genuine about him.
He really let his true colors show from then on. He never failed to throw an insult my way, always managed to do little things throughout the day to show me just how much of a jerk he really was. He even went as far as stealing my hat straight from my head and tripping me up when I would try to walk down the damn road. I want to say that it didn't affect my work, but I found myself growing bitter that someone like Jack could be so much better than me! He was SO much better than me!
And I chose to do the only thing I knew how to do when things got to me. I went out drinking.
Half way into my third beer, Jack showed up at the bar. I didn't have to look at the door to know that it was him. The heavy sound of his boots was indescribably distinct. He stomped his way over to the bar and sat down a seat away from me, ordered a beer and kept his eyes at the bar. He didn't look up, didn't even bother a wave or hi. Hell, he didn't bother to even insult me. It must have been a long day for both of us.
I took a swig of my beer and shifted my gaze towards him. And at first glance, he looked…sad. And I didn't care or anything, but you were a complete dick if you ignored someone. Even if you did hate them.
"How's the farm?" At this point, sounding sincere or even interested was as hard as working double shifts over a sweltering fire. But I didn't need it to sound sincere. He knew that I didn't care about him. Jack twisted in the chair and leaned against the bar with his elbow on the table. He had no manners what so ever. Even as a kid, if I had done that, my grandfather would have knocked me across the back of the head so fast that it would have sent my hat flying into the air. I grimaced but held my tongue.
"it's going fantastic, I'm practically the champion of farming. I had another cow birthed this morning, and a whole row of pineapples just waiting to be plucked." Something about the way he bragged just pissed me off.
"Good…that's…good." I adjusted my hat and watched Doug pass a beer to jack. And in one chug, he downed the bottle as if it was some kind of race to the fucking finish line. I just watched him in disgust. It wasn't a challenge, and I wasn't about to try to drink him under the table. Not that I couldn't…No one could out drink a blacksmith.
Jack set the empty bottle down, and he wiped his mouth clean. He then cocked a smile in my direction and I realized that it wasn't up to me to start up a drinking contest. He already had that in mind. "how's the black smithing going?"
"it's going-" I spoke out on instinct rather than choosing my words. I practically talked through my teeth to try and hide the disgust I had felt with that question altogether. How was blacksmithing going, how did he THINK it was going. Was there ever a time when he'd come to the shop and I was the one working on the tools? Was I ever behind the furnace, or was I just leaning against the wall like I always had to do because my grandfather was so damn stubborn that he wouldn't even give me a chance! I leaned back against my seat and spun it around a bit to face him. "well…" I added, just in time to make it sound like I had meant to say it the whole time. "it's going really well." He smiled at me and I smiled back, though we could both see right through each other's bullshit. I took my beer and finished it off, setting it down before casually shoving off the three caps. It was mainly to show off that I already had the head start. And jack noticed. He ordered another two rather quickly, chugged them both while never taking his eyes off of me. Now that I think about it, it was flattering in a way. He was competing with me because he saw me as a threat. But at the time, I was too mad with him to consider it. Besides, who would ever want to compete with me? He took one look at me and I could already see the effect of the alcohol in his gaze. Wow, was jack a light weight or what?
We started ordering more, each starting up pointless conversations that never made it past the second sentence. We talked like we were casual acquaintances, about the weather, about the size of the winning cow at the cow festival two weeks ago. By the time we were finishing off our tenth drinks, our words were an exchange of slurs and insults. I don't know who started it, but I want to say that it was Jack. After all, he was the ass who started it all to begin with.
And it only took a few more drinks before we were straight up yelling at each other. I started that. Jack had said something that just set me off. And when our shouting became more violent, Doug had threatened to kick us both out. I had no where else to go, so I scoffed off his last insult and cut back while kai and cliff dragged Jack's drunk ass out of the bar while he shouted at me that I was a coward and he won this little bitch fit fight we had started up. I just slumped back to the bar and paid my tab, then faced the opposite side of the bar as Doug continued to tell me that he couldn't believe that I could be such an unreasonable piece of shit. Those weren't his exact words, of course. I turned my attention to Karen who was drunk off her ass with her head on the table.
"you ok, Karen?" I was a bit tipsy myself, but not enough that I wanted to lay down. She just laughed and shrugged her shoulders a bit.
"Y-you and ja-hic-ack ok?" I rolled my eyes at her question, and just clenched my fists.
"He just makes me fucking crazy is all. I don't even know why, I just…"
"YouWAnaknow WHY he makes you crazy?" she hiccupped in between her words, and chuckled as she finished speaking. Then she shoved her glass in my face as well in an attempt to point at me. "CUZ you guys just need to FUCK and get it over with!"
it was….an absolute repulsive idea. And I couldn't believe those words came out of her mouth. I shoved her hand away and stood up, bitter again, angry again. It was vile, disgusting, absolutely insulting, and I let her know how wrong she was.
"That's disgusting Karen!"
"Why because you're both guys?!" the woman just scoffed and took another swig of her drink. "whatever s'not like you'd be the first guy to fuck a guy. Hell you wouldn't even be the first one in town." I should have been interested by what she was saying, but the more she talked, the angrier I was getting.
"you've had too much to drink, Karen." I growled at her and stood up. She scoffed and called me a homophobe, but I had no energy to fight with her and I headed up the stairs into my own bedroom.