Part I—'Round We Go

Mercedes had just trashed her tall cup of popcorn and dusted her hands to get the salt off her fingertips. After waiting in line for a few minutes and talking—somewhat—to Sam talk about places around the city that they should check out; places they hadn't visited the last time they were in New York. Their last trip was, of course, already on her mind more so because of their current wait at the carousel.

The glee club—against Mr. Schue's orders—scattered in pairs and clusters about the Big Apple Having spent some time here and there together since prom, Sam and Mercedes gravitated to one another and after goofing around at a few different places, they ended up stumbling upon a year-round carnival setup. The two were only vaguely aware of the passing day as they went from ride to ride to game, and only took a break to get food. Before heading off to catch a cab, Mercedes talked Sam into one last ride—the carousel.

They were sitting on the ride's benches, facing one another; Sam propped his feet up on Mercedes' bench and Mercedes had been all smiles from the carefree day. Eventually Sam brought up Nationals, and that prompted Mercedes into talking about how she wasn't all that on board with the New Directions doing original songs at the last minute. How she was telling him about Jesse's "lazy" comment for her solo audition.

Sam was in the midst of licking the last of some cotton candy off of his fingertips and lips when he asked, "So let's say things were going your way, and you got the solo this time. What song would you sing?"

Rather than telling him, Mercedes decided to show him. Hardly bothered by the terrible carnival music playing ahead, she stood up, gripping the nearest gold pole for balance, "Well…like I told Jesse, I feel the songs I perform and this song's been on my mind a lot lately so it'd probably be this one." She threw Sam a quick smile and then began to sing the first verse to "Natural Woman".

He wasn't familiar with the song right away, but seconds before she belted out the renowned chorus he figured out what song it was and smiled up at her. It wasn't news to Sam just how incredible of a singer Mercedes was, but hearing her flawlessly carry the tune had him paying better attention to the lyrics. And that's when he'd begun wondering to himself if the song was directed to him. Her occasional glances back to him further pushed that wonder into an assumption that had his heartbeat picking up. His own words were echoing in his mind of telling Puck, Mike, and Finn at the hotel that if he wasn't broke and homeless…he'd "totally go for it".

The recollection pulled him out of his reverie. He was suddenly aware of the heat on his cheeks and the rush of feelings coinciding with the fun and relaxing day he'd been having with Mercedes. Panic-stricken as the ride retarded, Sam swung his feet from the opposing bench and rushed off, leaving Mercedes behind.

She stopped singing and the second the ride stopped, she hopped off and followed after him. Her attempts seemed in vain at first but eventually she caught up with him coming out of the bathroom with flecks of water near his hairline. She and Sam agreed to talk while they walked back to one of the main streets to catch a cab, and he explained his reason for taking off so suddenly. It was there that Mercedes let him know of her returned feelings for him; Sam expelled his former concerns and fears and took a chance. However, he and Mercedes agreed to keep their relationship lowkey while they tried to figure things out.

When it seemed Sam picked up on her quietness, she felt a light nudge against her fur coat, causing her to snap her gaze up at him.

"You alright?"

"Oh..yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking."

Sam smiled, "About when we were here three years ago? Yeah, me too. It's kinda why I wanted to come back with you. All the rides…"

"The fun house."

"The corn dogs. The tilt-a-whirl…"

She'd meant to give him a reproachful stare but her lips twitched at the corners, and then her eyes dropped to the concrete. A moment later, the carousel came to a stop and the attendant slid back the latch on the gate to let the waiting group on while the other riders exited. Mercedes opted for the still-sitting bench and stared out at the carnival-esque scene, steeling herself from more of the old memories that were creeping up her chest. Soon the ride started and the corny music sounded overhead. Young passengers were giggling at the way their horses bobbed up and down, and parents stood nearby to secure their children's safety. Mercedes' eyes were growing dizzy from staring out at the spinning scene so she looked over to Sam who appeared to be waiting for her to meet his gaze.

"Mercedes, I've been wanting to tell you something."

Her brows raised, "Hm?"

Sam paused and then started in, direct as usual. "I tried to move on after you broke up with me." With a humorless chuckle he mumbled, "I kinda feel like I lost my mind a little bit after you left for LA. And each time you came back to help or support the glee club, seeing you again…"

He saw Mercedes' chest rise and fall, and after a quick glance at the scene spinning around them, he looked back to her.

"I know I was with Brittany and all…I shouldn't have been."

"You know I'm not gonna lie, I was a little surprised at that."

"Yeah?"

Mercedes' entire face flattened. "I heard you put cheerios on the damn floor for her, Sam."

Sam sucked his cheeks in and looked up, trying to form his response. He could feel his cheeks warming a bit as he said, "I told you, I feel like I lost my mind a little. I know I said and did stupid things after you dumped me again. But after graduation I spent half of the summer with my family, and then I came here to start working. And I think being out of Lima's been helpful for me. Sort've. Coming back here wasn't the magical cure for all my problems. If it were, things with me right now would be different. I'd be over me getting in the way of myself."

His face was a little sterner toward the end of all he'd said. He wasn't fully aware of it, but when he looked back into Mercedes' eyes, he clearly and unabashedly admitted to her, "You and I were just…We're right for each other. I'm at my best when I'm with you and I—"

"Sam…" she started.

"I know what you're going to say. I'm not trying to guilt you or anything, Mercedes. It's just the truth."

His eyes dropped from her face to his lap again while sitting across from her on the carousel. Again he found himself putting his heart on his sleeve for Mercedes, not entirely sure of himself on what the outcome would be this time.

"You gave me two prom nights I'll never forget. You saw me and wanted to know me, and I do believe you when you say you were at your best those times we were together. And…You've encouraged me, fought for me, and let me love you, and I…I keep falling for you."

One side of Sam's lips quirked up, and when he felt Mercedes' chilly hand slide over his gloved one, he turned his wide palm up to hold it. She squeezed his hand, while uttering one word that made Sam tense.

"But…"

He kept his composure while listening to her say, "I don't know if we can do this to ourselves again."

"Do what? Give our relationship another try? Like Puck and Quinn, or Santana and Brittany?"

"But you know how I feel about the long distance thing."

"Again…like Puck and Quinn or Santana and Brittany are doing? Besides, I thought you were going to be moving here."

"But I don't know for how long."

Sam could hardly believe what he was hearing. The sheet between the hurt and skepticism he was feeling, and what Mercedes was seeing was wearing thin. He let go of Mercedes hand and situated himself to fully face her. "You got an apartment, Mercedes. If you weren't planning to stay long, wouldn't your label just put you up in a hotel or let you crash with Kurt and m—Blaine?"

Mercedes grimaced shamefully. "It's not that, Sam. It's…while you were in the shower this morning, I got a call from my manager and I was telling her I was hanging out with you and she just…"

Sam's forehead creased, confused and trying to hold his other prudent feelings at bay, "Just what?"

"She's got me trying to create this whole image thing while I'm working on my album and—"

"Hold on," said Sam, interrupting her rushed words. The carousel was beginning to slow. "You don't want to date me again because dating me would ruin your image? You do know when I asked you 'it's because I'm white, right?' I wasn't serious, right?"

A small part of Mercedes wanted to laugh—she remembered, and she wanted it to still be funny, but having recalled her conversation with her manager, Sam wasn't that far off from the elder woman's assertion on her and Sam dating.

His head fell back slightly and he looked away while mumbling, "I don't believe this."

"Sam I didn't agree to anything with her. But that doesn't mean it hasn't been on my mind today."

At that, he looked back to her and glaring, "Mercedes, do you hear what you're saying? You're basically rejecting me because of your image. Of what it'd do or wouldn't do for you. The last time we were here—on this same ride, and why I left? Why I didn't want to date you? It was more than me not being able to afford to do much for you. I didn't feel like I was good enough for you. I didn't want you to be seen as the hot, well-off diva with the poor kid."

Mercedes shook her head back and forth while barely mustering the voice to argue, "It's not the same thing, Sam. What if we have a fight in public, or we break up, or I do hit it big? Everything we want to do or try to do will be under a microscope. You know I don't care who you are—you could be Black, White, Asian, striped, it wouldn't matter to me, but—"

"You know what?" Sam stood from the bench as the carousel came to a stop. He looked down at Mercedes, visibly hurt but steeling himself. "I don't care about all of that. I'm pursuing modeling. My biggest issues have all had to do with myself, like always. About me not feeling good enough, or looking good enough—being good enough. But you were the one more than anybody who helped me get over that when we were together, and even when we weren't because you accepted everything about me, no matter what I was doing. You don't think I already know what the media and even people within industries like yours or mine might say or think if we were to openly be together? I do. And I don't care because they wouldn't be in this relationship. I never thought you cared though. I guess I was wrong."

Struck hard by Sam's words and rendered speechless, Mercedes was anchored to the bench while Sam wrenched away, weaved between a couple of horses and speedily stalked away from the ride, not unlike last time.

This time, however, Mercedes did not follow him.