Spoot: I'm back on GW now...for now. anyway.
Wufei: Thank god!
Spoot: This is gunna be short, I'm sure. the intro is all on my Brother Atlanticantic10. go check out his story, that is if you like Grand Theft Auto and silliness! tee-hee!
Work Ethic
what the fuck people! I need a motherfucking job, I have a resume that says im fit to do just about fucking anything. i have applied for a million jobs, and not one has responded, WHAT THE FUCK!? want a cover letter? here my fucking cover letter!
now I'm really low on money, and I'll suck a dick if i have to.. that's right! got a bear in your backyard that's eating your garbage? I'll fight that mother fucker and win! can any other applicant say that? FUCK NO! whats that you say? you lost your keys? FUCK IT! I'll shoot the goddamn lock out with my lazer eyes! that how bad i need a motherfucking job! your son is gay and you're not cool with that? I'll de-gay him with reverse ass-sex, don't believe me?! then hire me and I'll fucking show you!
OBJECTIVE: I need a fucking, motherfucking job!
ACOMPLESHMENTS:
- I invented the moon
-Atlantis wasnt sunk till 1987 when I shot out of my moms vagina like silver bullet into a wolverine
-I'm a wolverine
-I have prophetic visions on Armageddon
-created a new dance where people get into it so much that radiation waves pulsate off of them, I call it the microwave
-when I was 8 a frisbee flew in my backyard and I blew it up with my mind
-my sister is the Eiffel tower
-descendent from brave heart
-can make weapons out of anything, which is great in a hostile work place
-beat my porno addiction just last year
-proficient in Microsoft office and Photoshop
The women looked up at Quatre. "Is this a joke?" She asked, pulling off her glasses and tossing the paper down. "Mostly." said Quatre. He looked worried. "Did you write this?" She asked. Quatre squirmed in his chair a bit. He knew it was wrong to lie. But he had to get in, undercover as an OZ operative. "Yes ma'am." He said. She pushed back in her chair, and stood up. She grabbed the paper and looked it over.
"Invented the moon did you." Quatre looked terrified.
"What exactly is a Wolverine?" She asked. "A mutated super hero." He groaned. He sank in his chair.
"Hmm...1987? that's the year you were born?" Quatre sank further into his seat. "Why, that would make you..." she began to count in her head. "Nearly 300 years old." Further he sank.
"Oh my...porno addiction." Oh dear god! he thought, sinking almost to the floor.
"This one here is good, making weapons out of anything." Quatre perked up. "Yes ma'am. anything." He looked nervous. She glanced at him. "you're crazy!" She yelled. I want to die... he thought. She got in close to his face. "I like that." she said, then stood upright. He climbed back into a sitting position. he could feel the sweat on his face. "Just the kind of attitude we're looking for here at OZ. Welcome aboard." She outstretched her hand, and he shook it.
Quatre burst into the safe house. Everyone else was at the table playing cards. The cards and poker chips flew everywhere, as did the other boys. Quatre was fuming, and looking right at Duo. "We surrender...we surender." Trowa said from behind the overturned table. "We're sorry..." Said Heero. "Dont kill us." Said Wufei. Duo just giggled nervously.
"I'm a Wolverine, Duo?"
"Uh...What?"
"I'll kill a bear?"
"Oh...shit..."
"I'll suck just about any dick..."
"What?" said Trowa. "CAN IT UNIBANG!" Quatre shouted, not looking, but pointing straight at Trowa.
"Dont be mad Cat, it got you in." Duo said sheepishly. "Oh yes, it got me in...but people are looking at me weird."
Heero laughed out suddenly, and he had all eyes on him. "He's laughing...someone get the band-aids." Said Wufei. "He wrote your applications letter, didn't he? Oh I should have warned you." Quatre chose this moment to grab Heero by the scruff of his collar and pull him eye level. "Coulda, woulda, shoulda." Said Quatre. Heero just giggled, then shrugged.,
Spoot: can't find a nice place to stop.
Duo: Here is good.
Spoot: I suppose. ok, ok, the end! hope it cracked you up!