The Floor Is Lava
by: Ismira Daugene
A/N: Okay, kind of A/U in that Harry and Clara are together and have children, but it's all good. ;)
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"Sherlock, are you ready?" John asked his flatmate as he got to the bottom of the stairs leading to his room.
"For? You have to be more specific, John," Sherlock replied from behind the microscope.
"For God's sake! Sherlock I told you about this ages ago! I asked that you pick up the flat a bit… make sure there isn't anything dangerous sitting about!"
"Oh," Sherlock says quietly, sitting up a bit. "That's today?"
"You know it is! Don't pretend you forgot." There's a long silence before John groans and shakes his head. "You did, didn't you? You deleted it."
Sherlock shrugs and looks somewhat apologetic… well, as apologetic as Sherlock ever gets, which actually isn't that much. "Clutter, John," he says as if this explains everything.
John shakes his head and starts tidying up. "Come on then, you can help a bit."
Sherlock grumbles but does begin to put away some of the more dangerous acids sitting on the table. Nearly an hour later, the flat is looking somewhat decent, or at least as good as it's going to get.
A knock on the door announces their visitors and John moves quickly to open it, admitting three rambunctious towheaded children that were about waist high on John. The doctor smiled fondly as they rushed in, heading directly for Sherlock who grinned and pretended not to notice as the two boys and one girl badgered him for his attention.
John turned back to the door to see Clara and his sister Harry standing side-by-side. He made a gesture indicating for them to come in. However Clara held up a hand and shook her head from side to side. "We'd best not. We'll never get out again. And besides, we're going to be late for the show as it is."
"Thanks for doing this, John," Harry smiled at her brother.
John grinned and shook his head. "It's nothing, really. Sherlock and I love having the kids over."
"Well we still appreciate it. You don't know how difficult it is to find a sitter for those three," Clara gave her children a fond albeit exasperated look.
John nodded; he could only imagine. Despite the exhaustion caused by the triplets, John knew that Harry and Clara loved their children dearly. When Clara had been artificially inseminated six years ago, it had been a long shot. However it seemed they had nothing to worry about. As was sometimes the case when the mother is taking hormones to induce pregnancy, Clara ended up conceiving three children. The eldest, Hamish, was named after John and Harry's grandfather. Lila, the middle child, was named for Clara's mother who'd died a decade or so ago, and the youngest, Andrew, had been named by Clara and Harry upon mutual agreement.
"Well you'd best be on your way then," John said waving them off.
Clara and Harry nodded and quietly made their way down the stairs and off into the London night for a child-free evening. John turned back to the living area to see that Sherlock had finally deigned to give his attention to the triplets. He was telling them about his latest experiment involving an orange, a length of twine, and an open window on the second story. John decided it was time to intercede before the triplets got any funny ideas. "Alright then, what say we have some dinner? Thai sound good to everyone?" Hamish, Lila, and Andrew nodded enthusiastically.
Dinner was soon ordered and eaten. Leaving a full three hours yet that the triplets would need to be entertained. John brought out Cluedo, and though Sherlock despised the game, he played with them. "Uncle John," Andrew sighed after their third game. "This is getting boring."
John sighed. He should have known that the game would only keep them entertained for so long. "Yeah, can we do something else?" Lila chirped.
John nodded. "How about hide and seek?"
The three grinned identical grins. "Only if Uncle Sherlock isn't the seeker!" Hamish made an addendum.
Sherlock grinned, but nodded. The three rushed off to hide while John counted to fifty. Hide and seek lasted another hour, until Andrew almost spilled a beaker full of hydrochloric acid on himself. John had glared at Sherlock who gave him an innocent stare back. "How was I to know he would try to hide under the sink?!"
At that moment, John's mobile rang and he glanced at the screen. "Harry?" he answered the call.
The elder Watson began asking how the triplets were and John paused her for moment. "Sherlock?" he addressed his flatmate. "Can you look after the triplets for a moment? I just need to reassure Harry."
Sherlock rolled his eyes. Harry called almost every time the triplets were left with the two. Something about her not trusting Sherlock to not turn her children into experiments. John took the phone call out the door and onto the stoop that led up to 221B. "Harry?" he addressed his sister again.
"John, how are they?"
"Doing fine, just like every other time you call."
"Sorry, I just worry."
"Honestly, Harry, what could he possibly do? I'm with them the entire time."
"I still wouldn't put it past him to try something," she muttered.
John grinned. He would never tell his sister that her children already were the focus of an experiment. Luckily it was a rather low-key experiment that mostly involving Sherlock keeping tabs on the triplets' growth and how they communicated with each other. John spent another ten minutes talking to Harry. She let him know that Clara and she were on their way back, and he headed back up to the flat to get the triplets ready.
Upon entering, John could tell something was wrong. Sherlock was giggling like a school girl and the triplets were giggling along with him as all four slowly walked one behind the other over the sofa and onto the coffee table. From there they moved onto the chair. Sherlock helped the triplets over since their legs were significantly shorter. John watched as they moved around the living area, never touching the floor for a while longer before intervening. "And just what's going on here?" he asked in a calm voice. He didn't want to scare one of the children and cause them to fall.
"The floor is LAVA, Jawn!" Sherlock said, eyes wide and pupils dilated.
John's eyes widened at this sight. Was Sherlock high? What they hell had gone on while he was gone? "Okay, well it's time to get ready to go now," he moved forward and picked up Andrew who groaned.
"But I wanna stay and play with Uncle Sherlock!" he protested.
"Me too!" Lila grumbled.
"Come on guys. You can come visit another time. It's time to go home with your mummies."
John managed to get the triplets dressed and ready to go by the time Clara and Harry arrived, no thanks to Sherlock, who was perched precariously on the table near John's laptop. The doctor opened the door when his sister knocked, relieved to hand the children off. Clara happened to look in for a moment though and see Sherlock. "What's with him?" she asked, a quizzical look on her face.
"Don't ask," John shook his head. He turned to the triplets who were now yawning. "Bye guys, see you soon!" He hugged all three at once. They giggled at the tight squeeze and then they were soon away.
John turned back to the living area to confront his flatmate. "Sherlock?" he raised a single eyebrow as the detective stretched a leg across the expanse between the table and the computer chair. He managed to get into the chair and spun a bit from the momentum needed to propel himself the extra bit of distance.
"Jawn! You're spinning!"
"Sherlock, what did you do?"
"Do? Nothing, Jawn! I swear I didn't do it!"
"Did you eat something? Drink something? …Smoke something?" he added the last hesitantly.
"Drink up me hearties, yo ho!" Sherlock replied.
"What did you drink, Sherlock?" John asked a little worried now.
Sherlock pointed to an empty flask sitting on the mantle, still spinning in the chair a bit. "Oxycodone infused orange juice!" he shouted raising both hands above his head.
John groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Why? Just… why was there a flask of orange juice with oxycodone in it sitting on the mantle?"
Sherlock grinned and shrugged. "Hamish dared me to drink it."
"A six year old dares you to drink it… so you do? What happened to the genius?"
Sherlock curled up in the computer chair, laying his head on the armrest. John cringed at the impossible angle the detective's spine was making. "Okay, I think it's time for bed now." He moved forward to help Sherlock to his bedroom.
"Sleepy… sleep here, Jawn," Sherlock yawned.
"Nope, come on, up you get," John pulled his flatmate up and supported the man's weight as he dragged him into his bedroom. John then laid Sherlock down on the rarely used bed and moved down to take off the detective's shoes. "There," he said as he finished throwing a blanket over the scrawny man. "I'll be in the living room if you need me, but I'll be back in an hour anyway to check your vitals."
Sherlock smiled and patted John's arm. "'Kay," he murmured. "Watch out for Bluebell though, she glows you know."
John grinned and left the man to sleep.
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A/N: Yes, I know oxycodone doesn't work that fast. Poetic license! lol...
Sherlock (c) BBC