AN: Ok so this is for the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" challenge for JJ leaving. Warning: this is really sad. I made myself cry!
Disclaimer: Ha! I don't think anyone wants to own it, let alone me who doesn't!
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JJ sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest. It was the right thing to do, even if it wasn't what he would want. Her black dress had been used too much lately. She watched everyone move around the bullpen, a little slower than normal. She wasn't sure how they were all still functioning, especially Hotch.
"He wouldn't want you to do this you know" Hotch said gently as he came up next to her. JJ nodded jerkily.
"I know and you are stronger than I am Hotch, for continuing on after Haley's death, but I can't do this job anymore knowing I was the reason Dave died" she responded. Aaron wrapped an arm around JJ's shoulders, pulling her closer for strength. No matter how much anyone had told her it wasn't her fault, she couldn't seem to get it out of her head.
"Jen" Aaron admonished softly. JJ was pulled back into her nightmares, seeing her husband die all over.
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She couldn't believe it was happening. Not again, she couldn't lose someone again. JJ sobbed as she pressed her hands against the bullet hole in Dave's chest. Henry cried for his daddy from the confines of his stroller.
"Jen…" Dave whispered. JJ shook her head, tears flying. A woman who had witnessed the attack stepped forward and tried to calm Henry down. JJ didn't have the time right now to try and calm her baby down.
"Save it until you get out of the hospital" she said through her tears. Dave's hand raised slowly to wipe away her tears.
"I'm not going to make it baby, I'm sorry" he said. JJ cried harder as she could feel him slowly leaving his body. "There is a letter for you taped to the underside of the top drawer of my desk. I love you."
"I love you too" she whispered. She leaned down and kissed his lips once more before she felt Dave's breathing stop and his eyes flutter closed. She continued to sob over his body and put pressure on his wound, hoping that the ambulance would get there in time to save him.
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"JJ" Aaron said, pulling her out of her memories. JJ startled and wiped away the tears, moving to his desk and opening the top drawer. Her hand felt underneath and she found and envelope. She ripped it off gently but quickly. Aaron watched her for a moment, and then realized that she would want some time to read the letter alone. He slipped out the door and watched everyone's head whip towards the door, thinking it was JJ.
JJ opened the envelope, silently thanking Aaron for giving her some time. She peeked over the desk to see Henry still sound asleep in his stroller. She pulled out a two page letter, written in Dave's messy scrawl.
To Jennifer and Henry,
My life and my world. If you are reading this, I'm truly sorry. I don't know how it happened, but I'm glad you are ok bella. There are some things that I probably have not had the time to tell you. The first is my will. I have recently had it changed so that you and Henry receive everything. The second page is a copy of my will, though I will warn you, it's not much.
You and Henry will be covered for the rest of your lives hopefully. The cabin and our house are yours and all but one million dollars is for you to use. The million is for Henry's college education and a little extra for other activities and such. Use it wisely. There is over 4 million from my books for you to live off of if you chose to leave work (that will be discussed later on). You will also receive any royalties from the sales of my books after my death.
I want Henry to live the life I didn't have. Let him play sports, music, theater, whatever he wishes to do, but don't force him into anything. Mudgie is now his responsibility since that dog seems to like him more than me now… Anyway, just know I have Henry taken care of. There is something I got for him in my bottom desk drawer. Give it to him please.
As for you, I'm sorry bella. I love you more than anything else and I want you to be happy. If you move on, know I will be watching over you to keep both you and Henry safe. As for your job, I can't force you to do anything, but I know how much you love it, so I want you to keep it. Don't feel like you will be a bad mom if you keep your job even though you don't need the money. I realized you would have that feeling after Haley's death. All I ask is that you think it through completely before you make your decision.
As for the others, tell them they were my family. I have a letter for Aaron. Tell him it's under his top drawer like yours was. It'll tick him off. Aaron was my best friend, so I have set up a bank account for him and his family. There is enough in there for Jack to go to college and more to get other children him and Emily might have started. Everyone else has a bank account that is gaining interest. I have included the information for them to access it for whatever they desire.
I'm sorry for leaving you bella. I'm sorry for leaving Henry. I'm sorry for having to leave. I will always be with you and I will always be watching you and Henry. Give Henry a hug and a kiss for me every morning and every night. I love you both so much. Be safe.
Dave
JJ sobbed as she held the letter. Henry had woken up from his mother's sobs and sat watching her quietly. He looked around the room and noticed a picture of daddy, mommy, and him smiling. He wormed his way out of the stroller and walked over and picked it up. His mommy was crying and he missed his daddy. Henry curled up on the couch and hugged the picture close to his chest. JJ had watched him, not letting the 3 year old know she was watching him. She would let him keep the picture, he seemed to need it.
"JJ?" Emily questioned. JJ motioned for her to come in and was immediately assaulted by the sight of boxes everywhere. Only Aaron had known she was leaving the BAU for good. Emily made her way through the maze and held JJ close.
"He's never going to know" she sobbed quietly. Emily was confused, but figured JJ would explain. The blonde woman opened up her purse and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Emily took it from her and gasped.
"JJ" Emily said softly. JJ sobbed harder as she dropped down into her chair. She set her hands on her stomach and cried.
"He's never going to know he's going to be a father again" she sobbed. Emily stood there, watching the blonde woman sob for her lost love and for her baby. Emily suddenly understood JJ's need to leave and would help her with whatever she needed.
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Ok so I don't really like the ending, but let me know what you thought please!