Prologue

I was lounging at my computer when it all began. The day that would change my life…it all started with me falling asleep as I typed up an 'About Me' thing. As you know, the very first day of a new school year is often started with such things. Except that I was starting the 6th grade this year so I thought it best to print out a few copies, one for each teacher. I was rather bored with this however, so I fell asleep in front of the keyboard. As you also know, some dreams can be rather strange…well, this was one of them. (Or so I thought at the time.) It was about three days before the first day of school. ( September the 1st) I was trying to get my sleeping schedule back on track, but was often prone to cat-napping in odd places every once and a while as a result. Anyway, this was indeed a very strange dream…

- Chapter 1: The Dream-

…I woke with a start as the doorbell rang. I'd fallen asleep again…I really had to get that 'About Me' report done soon…three days 'til school after all. The bell rang again, twice, before I snapped out of it and went to answer. At the door was a tall man with dark and greasy hair. He had grey eyes and was wearing an odd sort of robe thing. He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it.

"You look like Professor Snape from my favorite book…" (I know…but I really did/do say things like that to complete strangers.) The man looked rather startled at this…but he sneered at me and asked, "Are you Diana LaRoue?"

"Yes, who are you? Certainly not Severus Snape…"

He grumbled under his breath about eleven-year-olds knowing things they shouldn't.

"That's Professor Severus Snape to you. I've come to escort you and a few others to a place called…" I cut him off before he could finish.

"If you say Diagon Ally, I think I might call the cops. Now, who are you?" A muscle in his cheek twitched…this guy needed a stress ball or something…

"I am indeed Severus Snape, I teach Potions at Hogwarts and am taking you and four others to Diagon Ally. Now, if you would kindly inform your parents as to where you are going, we can leave."

I stood there flabbergasted. Was this guy nuts? I must still be dreaming…that was the only explanation for it. Thus, me being me, I pinched myself. Hard. I winced and realized that either this was an oddly realistic dream or I just wasn't dreaming. I had an idea though, it would reveal if this man was real or not.

"Ok, if you really are Professor Severus Snape, I want you to cast a spell for me…I dun care what it is, just do some magic."

He glared at me, but must have realized I wasn't going to budge unless I knew it was really him…then he'd probably ask how I knew who he was…joy. Anyway, he performed Wengardium Leviosa on a potted plant next to my door and then I did believe him. A thought occurred to me and I told him to wait right there for a moment. I then proceeded to dash up the stairs behind me and check my book shelf.

Just as I'd thought…my Harry Potter books were missing. All four of them…(the fifth wasn't out at the time.) I also happened to look at my calendar. 'Twas August 28th, 1991. I muttered a few choice expletives and picked up a notebook in which I'd copied random facts about Harry Potter and his friends.

It was gone too…in its place was some rather simple looking doodles that seemed to resemble the odd letter if you turned it around and squinted. Then I remembered I had a rather unpleasant potions professor waiting at my front door…with my dog in the house no less. My danger sense tingled ominously, but then I heard the dog barking and relaxed, she was outside at the moment. I digress…as this was a rather random thought that had crossed my mind at the time. I nevertheless dashed back downstairs and dutifully followed the Professor as he walked behind the house…where my dog was. As he stood a few feet out of the boundary of her chain, he grabbed me and we disappeared with a loud crack. Now, I wasn't stupid and had grabbed a wad of cash…'twas all the money I had earned over the summer.

Through birthdays and selling old things, recycling and helping out at the fair, I had around 3000 dollars. Though most of it was on my bank card. Though the card was under my mum's name, I actually could have probably earned more…I didn't have a life during the summer…I could have mowed lawns and mucked out animal pens for another 500 or so dollars…though I had been saving about a month before school ended too…well...I had kinda gotten a bunch from my parents for my school supplies and such too...eheh…I digress. We reappeared at a very familiar house. 'Twas my friend Sara's house…better known as Fuzzy. I'd given her the nickname about 30 minutes after I met her and it had stuck. Once she saw me standing next to the grouchy Professor, she believed what he said and went to ask her parents for money. Snape grabbed us both this time and disappeared with another crack. This went on three more times, I was rather surprised that we'd picked up my other three best friends too.

Fuzzy Sara Thompson, Jade (Confetti) Canery, Brianna (Bri) Larkem, Shelina (Shippou) McRey, and myself, Diana (Spoof) LaRoue. We were all astounded that it appeared that in this odd dream, we were in the Harry Potter-verse. We debated for a while, as Snape stood in the background ignored, as to whether or not this was a shared dream or some other weird thing. We came to the conclusion that we were indeed dreaming…we just happened to all be in it. I secretly thought that they were the dream people and I was real. Snape snapped at us to hurry up and grab onto an ugly piece of tire tread that must have been picked up off the side of the road. I knew it was a portkey, so I grabbed on first, the rest followed suit. Snape grabbed it and muttered a word and we were off with a funny pull behind our navels. We arrived at the 'dead end' that I knew led to Diagon Alley. I was fairly sure that Jade, Bri, and Fuzzy realized it too. I wasn't sure about Shelina though…she tended to be a little slow every once and a while, and she didn't read the H.P. books as much as we did.

Snape tapped the appropriate bricks and the doorway opened. None of us were surprised by this, we'd read the books. Not even Shelina more than twitched…it seemed she'd read some more over the summer break. This caused Snape to raise an eyebrow at five muggleborns not reacting to a very obviously magical happening. He apparently shrugged it off though, as he went over the school list.

"We will first stop to get you all a wand. The best place is Ollivanders, we will go there. Do not worry over money, there is a special Hogwarts fund for muggleborns. Anything you five purchase that relates to the school supply list will be automatically charged to the account. You may not, however, charge things that are not on the list. Such as candy, pranks, or leisure books."

I felt my card and cash in my pocket, "Is there anyway I could persuade you to let us stop at the wizard bank before we leave? I've brought money with me and I want to exchange it for some galleons and such."

He gave me a look that said he really hated this and no, he didn't want to take me to the wizard bank. I gave him a look of my own. It said that I would whine incessantly until he did. I assume he relented for his sanity's sake. Jade had brought money as well, so had the other three actually.

Seems we all had the same things in mind. I digress, we headed over to Ollivander's shop. I knew the creepy old man would probably sneak up on us, Jade knew so too. Bri whispered as much to us. "You know he's going to sneak up on us, no?" Me and Jade nodded.
Shelina said yes and Sara just nodded. We all formed a line as we walked, linking arms as was our custom when walking to and from places.

Though Ollivanders isn't very far from the Leaky Cauldron entrance, I tend to be rather long winded in my writing…probably my thinking too…but I digress. We finally reached the shop, entered, and were nearly given heart-attacks by Ollivander himself.

"Hmm…it has been a while since I had one of you come here, much less five. You all have great potential because of what you are. Now, which of you will go first?" We congregated and debated for all of 30 seconds before we decided that Shelina should go first. She stepped forward and said that she was left handed. Ollivander set his measuring tape to work as he left to the rear of the shop. As it measures Shelina in rather odd ways, I will explain our appearances to you. Fuzzy/Sara is about 5' at the moment, though she grows to be about 5'5". Her eyes are brown and her hair is dark brown, falling just below her shoulders. She is partial to spiked necklaces and wearing a giant fuzzy coat in the winter-time. Shelina is about 4'5" and will grow to be about 5'3". She has blue eyes and her hair changes from time to time. It was currently down to her mid-back and an un-dyed shade of medium brown. She is skinny as a chopstick and her voice is high and squeaky. Bri is currently about 5'2" and has dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Her hair is down to her shoulders and is rather wavy. She grows to be about 5'7". She likes Japanese written things. Jade is about 4'9" and has really curly dark brown hair. Brown eyes and glasses, her skin is darker than any of ours, she likes the color purple and her hair length is unknown. It is really curly so it's about shoulder length, though she wears it up all the time. Me, Diana, I have light blue eyes and brown hair that is cut just below my ears and nearly shaved in the back. I'm about 5'2" but will grow to be about 5'6". I love snakes, they are really cool.

Ollivander came back with a box that was covered in dust. He snapped his fingers and the measuring tape went on to Fuzzy. He proffered the wand to Shelina after he'd taken it out of the box and said the famous words. "Give it a wave, maple wood with a dwarf hair as the core. 12 and 2/3" springy." She glared at him when he said dwarf hair, but took the wand none-the-less. It predictably glowed green and shot out white sparks. She sighed, I knew what she was thinking and had to stifle a laugh. We teased her about her height all the time.

"Alright, next would be the girl being harassed by my measuring tape. What's your name and hold out your wand arm."

"Sara, and it's right sir." She held out her right hand. The measuring tape had moved on to me now, I was rather insulted at some of the places it was…measuring. I digress, Ollivander went to a shelf and picked up a box. It was dusty as everything else in the shop…he lifted the cover off it and said, "Ash wood with a phoenix feather core. 10 inches and swishy." It blew up his front window. He repaired it and went back to grab another box. After three more wands, Fuzzy found her chosen one. It was Ash wood with a dragon fang as a core. 13 inches and rigid. It shot off red and yellow sparks when she touched it. Ollivander once again snapped his fingers and the offensive measuring tape found a new victim. 'Twas poor Bri this time.

"Alright then, my name is Diana but I prefer Spoof, I'm semi-ambidextrous but I favor my left hand over my right."

"Jolly good, I'll be right back." He left me standing there with my hand sticking out…but returned quickly enough so I didn't give him my patented you-disobedient-child glare that I knew even as an eleven-year-old.

"Birch wood, unicorn hair core, 9 inches. Try it out." I did and all the lights in the shop went out. I honestly didn't know whether this was good or not…but decided to hand the wand back to Ollivander anyway as I figured it was bad.

"Indeed…this may prove a challenge." He ran back to the…back though returned shortly with an absolutely ancient box.

"Yew, with the venom of a magical Asp for a core. Also powdered kneazle fang to stabilize it. 12 inches and supple. I think you'll like this one." And he was right. As soon as it touched my skin, a shower of white sparks shot from the end of it. He snapped his fingers for the last time as the evil tape moved to Jade. Bri walked forward and spoke before Ollivander got the chance. "My name is Bri, my wand hand is my right." She didn't bother to hold out her hand and Ollivander didn't comment on it. He just began to hum and picked up a wand off the front counter.

"Holly wand with fairy dust as the core. 13 inches and swishy." It got about 3 centimeters from her skin when it shot out gold sparks that intensified in glow as she touched it. She walked back to stand with us with a satisfied grin on her face. I high-fived her as she walked past me to stand near Shelina. Jade had subdued the measuring tape when no one was looking and it was under her foot, straining futilely to get free. She looked up from her captive with an innocent look on her face. I raised an eyebrow at her and she stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm Jade and I favor my right hand." She didn't bother to raise her hand either, just waited for Ollivander to bring a wand to her for testing. He did so, after a while of searching in the back room.

"Yew, petrified basilisk eye core, 10 and ¾ inches. Swishy and supple." He handed it to her and it sparked a silver color. Then it glowed green.

"That'll be 37 galleons, 10 sickles, and 3 knuts. I must admit, I'm rather surprised at you lot. You didn't take long to find your wands, it usually takes at least 5-6 different wands before you find what's right for you." He eyed them with curiosity as they left the store. I giggled when the little bell rang as the door opened…I was/am just odd that way. Before we went anywhere else, I desperately wanted to get my money in Gringotts. So I did what I do…I annoyed Snape until we changed directions, Jade helped of course. (We'd been heading to Madam Malkins Robes For All Occasions.) Now we were heading towards Gringotts. I saw the familiar warning and watched all the goblins go about their business. I whispered to my friends though.

"Hey guys, anything you don't want to change over to wizard money, you should put in an account with Gringotts. We should all use the same account, that way we get more interest."

"Spoof! What a good idea, Fuzzy shall help you." 'Twas obviously Fuzzy/Sara who said that. The others all agreed, we would share the money we'd brought. I exchanged 500 dollars into wizard money and handed over my bank card and it was all handled. We ended up with about 1,750 galleons in our account. We all thanked the goblins as we left. They had surprised looks on their faces.

Snape was rather stern when he said there would be no more side trips. I rolled my eyes at him behind his back. I think he may have eyes in the back of his head because he twitched. We got to Madam Malkins and all of us bought five standard black Hogwarts robes. On to the bookstore we bought the standard first year books, but then me and Jade congregated together to plot. We decided to compare the books we wanted and if we had any of the same, we would take turns buying the book so we could just borrow from each other later.

"Jade, what a brilliant idea. We should buy the second year book of spells too though…and maybe the third and fourth year. No telling how many we will blow through, the way we read." I said the last bit between giggles. We indeed bought up to the fourth year book of spells and I headed straight for potions books. I thought the class would be a blast…even though tall, dark, and greasy was teaching it. I bought Most Pontente Potions, Your Potions And You, Potions For Dummies, Bubble and Trouble, and Potions: Cause and Effect. I was also rather interested in Arithmancy so I bought a couple books on the subject. An Ancient Rune book caught my eye so I bought that as well. As it turns out, Jade had headed straight for the Charms and Transfiguration sections. She bought several books from each, as I watched her pick up a Charms book, I gasped and remembered Hogwarts: A History. It had been really useful in the books, why not now? So she ran over to a shelf she'd seen it on and picked it up. Their total came to 59 galleons and 9 sickles. As the books were rather heavy, and Shelina, Fuzzy, and Bri had been roped into helping carry them, Bri asked Snape to do something.

"Put a shrinking charm on these!"

"No, you bought them, you carry them."

"But I didn't buy them! Spoof and Jade did! Do something before I become annoying."

He considered this, then caught the glint in my and Jade's eyes as well as Fuzzy's. He obviously decided it would be easier to shrink a few books than be terrorized by deranged eleven year olds for the rest of the day so he complied. They got standard trunks and a cauldron set. The Apothecary had a bunch of funny smelling things in it, but Snape wouldn't let any of us linger in there too long…he was probably afraid we'd inhale something toxic and that he'd be blamed for it.

At any rate, once we were done with shopping, Snape tried to hand us a port key, but Shelina asked about animals. Snape looked ready to pull his hair out, but complied none-the-less.

They headed over to the Magical Menagerie and began looking around. I myself found a nice little black snake. It was obviously magical, but it was as skinny as a straw and about eight inches long. I wasn't really sure if it was poisonous though…It could easily wrap around my neck and be there all the time. I named it Tyth because that was the name of an animal I'd had in a video game once and I rather liked it. Fuzzy/Sara got a male kneazle that was dark red with four black paws that she named Kuro. Shelina got a golden fox named Kiba. Bri got an orange cat named Kyo. Jade got a little snake too, it actually came from the same tank that Tyth had, but it was emerald green instead of deep black. I assumed it was the same species…damn. Should've bought a magical creature book.

I digress, Jade named her snake Syth. After we got food and such for our pets, Snape shoved the port key into our hands and told us the activation word. Then he practically ran off in the opposite direction as us…we all smirked at each other evilly. We said the activation word, which was Asphodel, and suddenly I woke up in front of my computer, my 'About Me' report half finished and a puddle of drool around my face. I checked the time and it had been about 45 minutes since I'd fallen asleep…what a strange dream. Ah well, it was probably nothing.

-End Chapter 1-

-Special Bonus Part 1-

Harry Potter was having a very odd day. He'd fallen asleep earlier than usual, as it was the day after Hagrid had come to get him for shopping, and he'd 'awoken' in a dream world. Apparently he was in the states, Minnesota more specifically. He was going to be attending a middle school there…he'd been given a school list by a Wal-Mart attendant and had been sent on his merry way. Having discovered a wad of cash in his pocket, he proceeded to buy everything on the list…figuring it was a dream anyway and he might as well go along with it. The oddest part however was when a tall woman came into the store looking for him and demanded he return to the orphanage right NOW. He shrugged and followed her thinking that, again, this was all just a dream. Once at the orphanage, he was told to put his things away and do his chores which consisted of cleaning his sleeping area and washing dishes. When he fell asleep in the dream world, he sat up in the real world…it was time to go to Hogwarts.

-End Special Bonus 1-

Ok, me and my friend Fuzzy came up with this idea as we were laying on picnic tables waiting for my grandma to come pick us up. I was actually born in 1991 so obviously the 'dream' is just that…a dream, right? Heheh, you'll have to wait for a couple days to find out. This is obviously alternate universe, will NOT BE A MARY-SUE! No one will fall in love with a main character, a main character will not fall in love with any of us! Fuzzy may demand I put a red-head named Gaara in here later, but he's not a main character, now is he? Harry Potter will be in his first year, we'll be sorted with him in fact. Leave a review to tell me if you love or hate it or anything in between. I adore constructive criticism and if you have any questions, you can e-mail or review. I'll reply to them with the reply feature and in a FaQ at the beginning or ending of the next chapter.