A/N: After just watching episodes 16/17 of season 2, I feel the whole thing is in desperate need of a little more closure for everyone involved…so, if I were the writer this is how it would have happened.
"Emily, I'm so, so sorry."
She could barely hear Kayle's urgent apologies – her mind had stopped functioning the moment those dreadful words had reached her ears. Damon had kissed Kayle. It was all so clear now. Her entire life had spiralled down to this moment. She would have to lose everything in order to gain anything. But hadn't that just always been the terrible truth of her reality? If she won, it was with a piping hot side of loss.
She didn't even notice Kayle slip away as she slid to the ground. She couldn't blame either of them for the kiss; she had broken up with him, after all. But how could he move on so quickly? How could he claim he would wait two years for her and then move on when, in a moment of weakness, she let her insecurities control her life? How could he say nothing to her when she told him she was pregnant? When she as good as told him she was giving up on her dream on the assumption that if she did, she could have him – finally, and forever. It was obvious now, and she was the fool for failing to see it. He didn't love her – couldn't. If that was the case, then there was nothing left for her here; nothing bar regrets, and the constant reminder of what she had lost. Boulder was now the graveyard of her dreams; she couldn't stay there any longer.
She got up, slowly, and wiped the moisture from her eyes. She finished packing her belongings into the suitcase and sealed it, hoisting it off of the table and placing it by the door. She would leave her mother a note; facing her and keeping her resolve would be impossible.
Mom,
I'm sorry I was so harsh on you. I blamed you for a whole lot of things that just weren't your fault. I know you did the best you could. I spent so much of my life trying not to end up like you but I never stopped to think about what you had. You're a better person that me, mom, and I don't know if I'm brave enough, or strong enough, to do what you did but I'm going to try. I'm going to have the baby.
I'm going to Las Vegas to stay with Angela for the time being. From there, who knows? Tell Brian I love him so much and I'll miss him more than I can say. I'm so sorry everything you did for me was for nothing. I'm sorry I let you down – let everyone down. I can't talk to you right now, but someday I'll call you. When I've worked everything out.
Love you.
Emily.
She left the letter on the table, picked up the suitcase, and walked out the door.
…
Payson left the tent the moment light peaked through the thin fabric. She had spent all night tossing and turning, thoughts of Emily weighing heavily upon her mind. If she had just been a little kinder, a little more supportive, or understanding, maybe Emily wouldn't have left. If she had put aside her selfish anger for just one moment, maybe she could have been the friend that Emily so desperately needed. Now she was gone.
"Pay?" Kayle walked up beside her, her hair tousled and her eyes weary.
"I just can't get it out of my mind," Payson said quietly, "the what if's…what if I had done this, or hadn't done that. What if, what if…" she scuffed her foot along the ground.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Pay." Kayle touched her shoulder.
"I was too selfish," Payson argued, "when she told me all I could think about was how it would affect me. How it would kill my dreams. I never spared one thought for what it did to hers. For one moment," she looked Kayle, pleading with her to understand, "I thought she deserved it."
"No, Pay," Kayle's voice broke and Payson turned to fully look at her, seeing, for the first time, how wracked with guilt she was. "It wasn't your fault, it was mine."
Payson would have refuted her claim but one look into Kayle's eyes stopped her in her tracks. They were haunted. Guilt was feasting on her mind.
"What did you do?"
"I – he," her voice cracked and she looked away, tears filling her dark eyes. "We kissed – Damon… I told her. I had to."
"Kayle," Payson breathed, "what…why?"
"I didn't mean to," the tears were rolling down her cheeks, "it just…happened. I was singing and he came in and…and he kissed me."
"Wow Payson," Lauren sauntered up to them, "what did you say? I didn't think you had it in you to reduce someone to tears. I'm so proud."
"Shut up Lauren," Payson snapped, "this is serious. We have to go get Emily."
"No, we don't." Lauren put her hands on her hips, "she's all happy with her boyfriend and her baby," she waved her hand, "she left us behind. Her choice."
"She doesn't have Damon," Kayle wiped her eyes, "she's alone and scared and she needs her team. She needs her friends."
"I don't care what you do," Payson added, "I'm going."
"Me too." Kayle linked hands with Payson.
Lauren looked from one to the other then scowled, "ugh, fine," she threw up her hands, "but only because I've always wanted to go to Vegas."
…
"Damon?" Someone was pounding on his door. He groaned and dragged himself out of bed, it felt like he'd only just fallen asleep moments ago.
"Damon!" The pounding intensified; if he didn't reach the door soon he wouldn't have one for much longer.
"I'm coming," he yelled, chucking a shirt on. It didn't sound like Emily. He wasn't sure if he wanted it to be…he still didn't know how he felt about everything. He'd been shocked when she'd told him she was pregnant; shocked and angry. He didn't want to be a father – not yet, maybe not ever. He was tired of the constant excuses why Emily couldn't see him. It was always about her, and her career. What about his? He was tired of breaking up, then getting back together, then breaking up and never quite knowing where he stood with her – or how important he was in her life. She called him a distraction, she said she needed him, she said she couldn't see him, she said she loved him. One minute they were waiting until after the 2012 Olympics, the next the dating rule was lifted and they could be together, then she had to sign some contract so they couldn't; now she was pregnant and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. He just couldn't keep up, and every time she was with him, he fretted about when she wouldn't be. He opened the door to reveal a determined Kayle; hands on her hips and a fierce expression on her face.
"Kayle?" He blinked, "What are you doing here?"
"I think the better question is what are you doing here?" Kayle pushed her way inside, "Emily is in Las Vegas." She turned to glare at him.
"What!" He left the door open, "she was just here yesterday."
"She's run off," Kayle's expression was almost comical.
"Why?" He puttered about the small kitchenette, feigning action to distract himself from what she was saying.
"I…I told her we kissed," she admitted, looking away, "God, I didn't know she was pregnant…I just wanted to come clean."
"Oh," well that would explain why she hadn't returned any of his calls after bursting into his apartment to tell him she was pregnant, and that now they could live 'happily ever after'. Like a teen pregnancy was a fairy-tale ending. She hadn't even asked what he wanted; hadn't even stopped to consider the effect it would have on his life.
"Oh?" Kayle asked, incredulous, "what do you mean 'oh'? Don't you still love her?" She accused angrily, stepping forward and blocking his path.
"No…yes…I don't know, okay?" He threw his hands up and looked away, unable to face her, "this whole situation is just…complicated."
"What exactly is so complicated?" Kayle berated him, "either you love her or you don't. So which is it?"
"Of course I love her," he yelled, frustrated, "it's just…she didn't even ask me what I wanted. She just stormed in here to tell me she was pregnant and, and that it somehow meant we could be together and have that 'happy' ending…" he looked away, "And besides, I told you we're just not right for one another. It doesn't matter how much we love each other, the world keeps getting in the way." His words were bitter, resigned.
"So you're just going to give up?" She asked, incredulous.
"I don't know…maybe." He sat down on the bed, dropped his head into his hands, "…she won't even answer my calls."
"You, are an idiot." She announced, "She's lost everything she's worked for – everything she wanted. But she could still have you." She sat down beside him, "she needs you right now, Damon. And maybe you're too blind to see it, but you need her too."
"She's better off without me." He muttered into his hands, "I'd just screw things up."
"Are you joking?" Kayle stared at him, aghast. "You think she's better off a single mother?"
"…and I'm sure she hates me for kissing you."
"Probably," Kayle said unsympathetically, "because she loves you. If she didn't, it wouldn't matter. Look," she stood up, "it doesn't matter what you say, I'm not taking no for an answer."
"No." He lifted his head to look her in the eyes.
"I will drag you to Las Vegas if I have to." There was no hesitation in her words.
"You're a gymnast, not a superhero." He almost laughed, "Besides you weigh like, what, 90 pounds?"
"I brought back-up." She said smugly.
Payson walked in through the open door followed by Lauren, "you are getting in the car." She informed him, her eyes steely.
"I wouldn't argue, if I was you." Lauren advised him.
Damon sighed, it was all well and good them wanting him to go, but "what makes you think she even wants to see me?" It was his final argument, his last card to play. In truth, he wanted to see Emily – he was just afraid to.
"She loves you, Damon." Kayle reassured him, "That's reason enough."
…
Chloe's phone buzzed as she was half-heartedly making breakfast for the only child who hadn't run away from her. Probably because he can't actually run, she thought darkly. He'd have to hire someone to wheel him away and…and why was she even thinking about this. Brian wasn't going to leave her but then, she'd never thought Emily would either. Every boyfriend she'd ever had had left her for one reason or another, and now her own child…it was too much to bear.
"Hello?" She answered it, holding it against her ear with her shoulder as she used a spatula to flip the eggs over.
"Ms Kmetko?" It was one of Emily's friends, "it's Payson Keeler."
"Payson," she sighed, "I'm sorry but I just can't talk to you girls right now." She went to end the call.
"No, no wait!" Payson said hurriedly, "please, please, please, Ms is important."
"…okay." She scooped the eggs out on the toast and placed the plate in front of Brian, attempting to smile for him. He didn't return it, but accepted the eggs.
"We need to know where Emily went."
"I told you," Chloe said, frustrated, "she ran off to Las Vegas to her Godmother. If that's all, then I really need to go." Her voice was choked; the tears were threatening to fall again. She wiped them away angrily; she couldn't fall to pieces over this. Brian needed her.
"Do you have the address?"
"Yes, of course…" she leaned on the table, "what exactly are you girls up to?"
"We're going to bring her back," Payson said with such confidence that Chloe was hard pressed not to believe her.
"Oh honey," she sighed, "she doesn't want to come back. She won't answer my calls."
"I know, but we'll make her see sense. Please Ms Kmetko, we have to try. She's not just our teammate, she's our friend. What kind of friends would we be if we didn't even try?"
"…she's lucky to have you," she said finally. What reason was there to refuse? What was the worst that could happen? She'd already lost her child, but maybe these girls could bring her back.
"We're lucky to have her," Payson said sincerely, "and we want her back."
"Alright," Chloe wiped a tear from her eye.
"Thank you," Payson listened as she recited the address, "we'll bring her back, Ms Kmetko, don't worry."
She put the phone down and met Brian's questioning gaze.
"They're going to bring her home," she said, her voice wavering slightly, "they will, won't they?"
"Of course, mom." Brian reached out to hold her hand, his face grave.
She walked around the table and hugged him tightly, "you're right," she said into his hair, "they'll bring her home." Now if only she could believe it.
…
"Alright," Lauren grinned, shaking her shoulders and bobbing her head, "we're off to Las Ve-egas!"
"We are going to get Emily," Payson said firmly, "not sightseeing."
"Oh, right," she flexed her fingers on the wheel, and then said with less enthusiasm, "we're off to…get Emily."
"Be nice, you." Kayle nudged her.
"I am being nice," Lauren signalled to make a left, "if I was being mean…well, let's just put it this way…"
"Yeah, yeah," Payson interrupted, leaning between them to turn the radio on, "we all know what you're capable of, you can stop boasting. So," she settled back to talk to Damon, "what are you going to say to Emily?"
"I don't know," he ran a hand through his hair, "I was just going to wing it..?"
"You don't know much, do you?" Payson said bluntly, "you can't go in unprepared. We have to attack this," she mimed a karate chop with one hand, "front on. Cover all bases, leave nothing to chance. We have one objective here, and we're going to achieve it."
"Yes, sir," he looked at her in amusement, "You sound like you're planning a siege."
"This is a siege," Payson said seriously then grinned, "so you'd better be ready with that battering ram."
"Competing against you must be terrifying."
"Oh it is," Kayle laughed, humming along with the radio.
"Hey, I just know what I want," Payson shrugged, "and I go for it. Failure isn't an option – not when the stakes are so high."
"Not everything works that way," he glanced out the window, "some things you just can't get right."
"Then you're not trying hard enough."
"It's not that easy," he let out a frustrated sigh.
"Nothing is easy," Payson countered, "But if you keep trying, and you never give up, there's no way you can lose."
"Then what are you going to say to her?"
"That's easy," Payson leant forward, "I'm going to tell her what an idiot she is for running away from the people who actually care about her. I'm going to tell her that despite the fact she's completely screwed up her career, and let down her team, she can't abandon us. I'm going to tell her that we won't abandon her, and that one stupid mistake isn't going to change anything."
"…and she'll probably slam the door in your face," Damon said slowly.
"I kind of have to agree, Pay" Kayle turned around to join the conversation.
"I'm not attacking her," Payson argued, "I'm just being honest."
"Hmm, no, you're being brutal." Kayle pointed out, "I don't think that's what she wants to hear right now."
"I don't care what she wants to hear." Payson muttered mutinously.
"Ugh, drama," Lauren flicked her sunglasses down, "maybe I should just talk to her?"
Kayle and Payson exchanged a glance, "no!"
…
Lauren parked the car on the side of the road, across from the address Chloe had given them.
"This is it," Kayle said unnecessarily.
"We can do this," Payson said firmly, getting out of the car.
"I sure hope so," Kayle muttered.
"You'd better," Lauren locked the doors, "I didn't drive all this way for nothing."
"I thought you came for the shopping?" Kayle asked, amused.
"I…I did," Lauren brushed it off, "but you won't let me do any, will you? So this had better not be a waste of time."
Damon said nothing, wrapped up in his thoughts. He wanted her to come back but he was afraid. Afraid that she would push him out of her life again, afraid that this time she wouldn't let him back in. Sometimes it was just easier to give up.
"Positive thoughts," Payson elbowed him.
"Right," he glanced at her and then ahead, "I'm going to hang back, for a bit."
"So," Kayle dithered, "do we just knock, or..?"
Lauren pounded on the door, "hello? Someone in there? Get the door already."
A tall middle-aged lady answered the door, an irritated expression on her face. "Yes?" she adjusted her glasses, "can I help you girls?"
"We're here to see Emily," Lauren said abruptly.
"We're friends," Kayle stepped in, "we just want to talk to her."
"She doesn't want to see anyone," the lady said sternly, "if that's all..?" She made to close the door.
"No," Payson grabbed it, "please, we need to see her. She needs to understand that we're here for her. She has to come back," she stepped back as the lady released the door, her face softening, "it's tearing her family apart and, well it's tearing us apart."
The lady surveyed them and then sighed, "Okay," she said, "I'll try." She walked back inside, "Emily? There's someone at the door for you."
"Who is it?" they heard Emily's voice, curious, floating from inside.
"Oh some delivery…"
"That's strange," her voice was coming closer, "I didn't change my address…" she stepped through the door and then froze, "What are you doing here?"
"Not shopping…unfortunately." Lauren said quickly, "A pity, 'cause I heard there are some pretty hot boutiques around."
"Shut up Lauren." Kayle said, irritated.
"Sheesh." She crossed her arms.
"Emily," Kayle implored, "we're here to bring you back home."
"Then you're wasting your time," Emily said firmly, "I don't want to go home." She started to shut the door, but Payson again grabbed it.
"Just hear us out," she insisted, "you owe us that much."
"Why?" Emily shouted, "Lauren, you hate myguts – why on earth would I believe you want me back? Kaylie, you kissed Damon. And Payson, I thought you were angry with me?"
"I am angry with you." Payson yelled at her.
"Payson, that's not exactly going to-" Kayle said nervously.
"How could you expect me to be glad that you're throwing your career away? How could you expect me to support that?"
"Then why are you here?" Emily closed off; her expression unreadable.
"Because it doesn't matter how goddamn angry I am at you right now," Payson yelled, "You should never have left. It wasn't the answer; all you did was hurt the people who care about you."
"Well they hurt me, too." Emily looked away, only to snap back as an all too familiar voice reached her ears.
"Emily…" Damon came up the steps.
"Oh my God, what is he doing here?" Emily stepped back, "I don't want to talk to you."
"I'm sorry, okay?" Damon spread his hands out, "I was upset…"
"Why? Why are you sorry? We weren't together." Emily's tone was bitter.
"Then why are you so mad?" Damon asked hotly.
"Because you didn't tell me." Emily gripped her shirt tighter, "You lied to me Damon. When I asked you if there was something going on with Kayle, the right answer was yes."
"There's nothing going on, Em." Kayle insisted.
"I don't believe you." Emily said, tears gathering in her eyes.
"Then believe me," Damon grabbed her by the shoulders, "Emily I love you. I'll admit it's been confusing at times but you just have to trust me, my feelings haven't changed."
"Well that's just it, I don't trust you Damon." She looked away, but didn't struggle in his hold.
"Why not?" He growled, frustrated, "and don't bring up Kayle again, you and I both know you've never trusted me."
"You've never earned it." She looked back, glaring into his eyes.
"You never gave me a chance." Frustrated, he looked skywards.
When he looked back down there was a faraway look in her eyes, "it's too late, Damon. I've moved on. You should do the same."
"No…argh, dammit." He released her and banged his fists against the wall, "I can't do this anymore." He turned to walk away and then swung back around, "I won't do this, Emily. I won't let you push me away and then blame me for it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you; it's you who can't accept that."
All the fight sagged out of her, "I'm so tired," she whispered, "And scared that you'll just walk out of my life like everyone else."
"Ah, excuse me?" Lauren butted in, only to have Payson and Kayle's hands crash over her mouth.
"Shut up," Payson hissed, "this is not about us."
"I won't," he strode forward and caressed her cheek, "I'll never walk out on you. You have to believe that."
"I don't know if I can."
"Then I'll prove it to you," he brushed a tear from her eye, "today and every other day for the rest of our lives."
"What is that, a proposal?" Lauren commented, a spark of excitement in her words.
"That depends," Damon took Emily's hand, "on whether or not she says yes."
"Oh she'd better say yes," Lauren clapped her hands, "I can't wait to start planning…"
"Lauren," Payson dragged her away, "shut up."
Emily laughed and her entire face lit up, her eyes bright against the tears.
"So?" Damon fixed her with his intense stare, "will you, Emily Kmetko, marry me?"
"Damon…are you certain?" She bit her lip, "it's a huge step."
"I've never been more certain in my life," he took her other hand; "and since you're the best thing in it; I would be crazy not to."
She sighed and then smiled shyly, "I suppose this means I have to go back to Boulder."
"YES!" Lauren punched the air, "another wedding to plan, this is going to be so much fun."
Emily laughed as Payson and Kayle ran over to hug her, "I'm sorry guys," she whispered.
"It's fine," Kayle squeezed her hand.
"Speak for yourself," Payson drew back and crossed her arms, "what?" She bit out when Kayle glared at her.
"I am sorry, Pay. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"As long as you don't do it again," Payson relented, "I missed you."
"I can't wait to start planning," Lauren said excitedly.
"There's not going to be a wedding," Emily said softly, "not yet, anyway."
"What?" Lauren asked, aghast, "why?"
"We're not ready," Emily took Damon's hand, "I know you think you're sure…"
"I am sure," he interrupted,
"…well then you'll be just as sure in a few years," she squeezed his hand.
"Ugh, whatever," Lauren put her hands on her hips, "can we go now?"
…