Thanks to everyone at Destined for their continued encouragement and kind words about this story. I hope the rest of you enjoy it also. Please please please leave me a review if you read and let me know your thoughts, queries, concerns. Your reviews honestly make my day. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Riley

Chapter One

A tiny voice roused Samantha Spade from her restless sleep.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

It was haunting really, echoing down the hallway of the apartment, reaching out to her in her bed beckoning her with its desperation. She shifted slightly; sleep fleeing her mind in a moment as she glanced quickly over her shoulder at the husband who slept at the far edge of the mattress. She held her breath for a moment listening to the steadiness of his breathing before issuing a silent prayer that the screams had left him still soundly sleeping.

Ashley's screams continued and Sam sighed climbing from the warmth of the bed and wrapping her robe around her body to keep out the cold. Her bare feet anxiously slid across the bare wooden floor boards and down the hallway to her daughter's bedroom.

This was becoming an all too familiar situation that Sam desperately wished she could rectify. The heartbreaking screams that shattered the stillness of the night, the voice calling out for 'Daddy' that made her want to cry also.

Ever since Martin had moved out, a year ago, this was the way it had been, almost every night. She was slowly running out of energy. It almost reminded her how she herself had been when Martin had broken up with her first time. Waking in the middle of the night more frightened than she could ever remember being with no reasonable explanation, needing him to be there and drive the nightmares away, in a way only he could. It was almost more than she could bear to see her own little girl going through something so similar right now, never understanding why 'Daddy couldn't come home'.

She had truly believed she and Martin could make their relationship work. After all, they loved each other, she was certain of that. But she couldn't live that life for long. Perhaps the problem was she loved him too much and it was just too painful living every day with the knowledge that she could lose someone she depended on too greatly. She could be all alone and completely heartbroken. She'd been there before, she couldn't be there again. She needed him too much and there was always a part of her that was never his because she was too scared. She somehow couldn't let herself get attached to him again, that would just make it too hard for her if she lost him, if he left her, yet another person in her life that had deserted her.

She knew she had driven him away and she was sorry because not only had she disappointed Martin she had a beautiful little girl that depended on her that she had disappointed also. But they'd called it quits and she'd given him back the engagement ring he had given her after she had discovered she was pregnant.

He'd taken his ring, and his promises and he had moved out, with so much love still between them and their beautiful daughter who would always connect them.

When he'd told her he was getting married to Kate, she believed her heart had actually stopped for a second as she realized the implications of what he was saying. That marriage symbolized the end for them. This time permanently. It meant he was over her, he loved someone else and that realization hit her hard.

She had done the only thing that she could think of that night, gone out alone, and gotten drunk in her usual style. With Ashley staying at Martin's and that numb feeling that had settled over her there was nothing she needed more than to feel something, anything.

She'd met Shane there in that bar and taken him home to her empty apartment. And he'd made her feel something and made her forget Martin for a while and as a month passed and then two their relationship gradually grew into something she thought she could be satisfied with.

Then he had asked her to marry him. She knew it was wrong, to marry one man but still be so deeply in love with another but Shane loved her, he was good to her and to her daughter and Martin was married, she'd thrown away the last chance of being with him, her own insecurities would always be that vast space that would forever distance them.

So she had married Shane and tried to be happy with the life that she could have. But it was moments like the ones that would soon come when it was still dark, early in the morning and she was holding her four year old daughter who was still crying out for her father that Sam felt her own heart crying out for him too.

Ashley's room was dark, a tiny stream of light poured through the crack in the pale pink curtains illuminating the blonde-haired blue-eyed child as she cried, desperately reaching out for her mother.

"Mommy!"

"Hey baby, shhhh," Sam soothed sitting down on the edge of the bed taking her daughter into her arms. "It's ok, I'm right here."

"I want Daddy!"

Sam placed a kiss against her daughter's head as Ashley wrapped her arms tightly around Sam's neck, tears streaming down the little girl's flushed face.

"Baby, Daddy's not here you know that. But I'm here right now and you're going to see Daddy this afternoon remember?"

The little girl nodded her head but the tears didn't stop.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

She nodded again burying her tear-stained face against Sam's shoulder as she rubbed her back. "It's ok, shhhh, it's ok, Mommy's here."

Holding onto Ashley tightly, Sam settled back against the pillows, pulling the blankets over the two of them, hoping that the tears would, as usual, subside shortly and it wouldn't be long before she fell back into a nightmare-free sleep. Sam rocked Ashley gently stroking her daughter's hair.

"Mommy?" the tiny voice asked again, "why can't daddy come home now?" she cried again causing tears to spring to Sam's own eyes as she heard the anguish in that voice that she was tired of disappointing.

She didn't know what else she could say, how many times she could answer the same question and she wanted so desperately in that moment for Martin to be here to make everything ok as only he could. So instead of speaking she just tried to soothe her daughter whispering comforting nonsense against her ear.

As Ashley continued to cry for her father Sam stood carrying her daughter out into the living room, holding onto her, pacing back and forth as she cried too. This was too hard. She couldn't keep spending every night like this it was killing her, breaking her heart, more so than it already was.

Sitting on the sofa, Sam reached for the phone and automatically dialed Martin's cell, praying that Kate wouldn't answer instead.

"Fitzgerald?" his voice was groggy, filled with sleep and she instantly felt guilt descend on her heart for having the nerve to call him at four in the morning.

"Hey,"

He recognized her voice instantly from so many late night phone calls like this one that had come before, "What's up?"

"Sorry to call you at this hour but she's been crying for you for an hour now, I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry Martin."

"Sam, its ok really, let me talk to her."

Sam held the phone against her daughter's ear.

"Daddy?"

"Hey sweetheart, why are you crying?"

"I...I had a bad dream. Daddy, I want you to come home now."

"I can't come over there now baby but I'm going to come see you this afternoon. If you don't sleep now Mommy might not let you come to the park with me ok?"

Sam sighed watching Ashley as she spoke to Martin the tears slowly drying up as if his voice contained the magic ingredient to wipe away tears.

"Ok," Ashley whispered softly, "Goodnight Daddy."

"Night baby."

Ashley handed the phone back to Sam and rested her head against her mother's shoulder her eyes slipping shut, satisfaction that her Daddy hadn't really abandoned her, he was coming back for her later on.

"Thank-you," Sam murmured into the phone, "I was going crazy."

"Anytime, you know I'd do anything for her. You too." he paused, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

"I was dreaming about you," he whispered, "I'm glad you called."

"Oh yeah?" she smiled briefly.

"Meet me for a run?"

"It's 4am Martin."

"Yeah so?

"Martin, we can't…"

"Since when has that ever stopped us."

She sighed again, he always could wear her down, "Ok, let me put Ashley back to bed, make sure she's sleeping. Meet you at the usual spot?"

"I'll see you there soon."

After tucking Ashley back into bed Sam slipped back inside her own room. Quietly she pulled out some clothes trying not to wake Shane. The floorboard creaked under her as she changed and Shane's voice rang out in the dark room.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going for a run," she whispered hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Alone?" he asked rolling over to look at her across the room.

"Uh, yeah why?" she lied feeling guilt creeping into the pit of her stomach, taking up residence.

"It's still dark out."

"I know, I couldn't sleep."

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah just need to clear my mind that's all."

This had become a routine she and Martin went through. Running so often together in the middle of the night while the city was fast asleep and daylight had yet to break. They couldn't stay away from each other as hard as they had both tried to get on with the lives they had made for themselves they couldn't deny what still existed between them, what they both felt so strongly for each other.

They knew what they were doing was wrong; they talked about it together as they lay under a tree in the park wrapped up in each others arms. She had a husband who loved her and she had promised to be faithful to and he had a wife to whom he'd promised the same and that's what made this so immoral. But when she was in his arms, looking into those familiar blue eyes and feeling the warmth and love of his embrace, nothing had ever felt so right.

TBC...