Disclaimer: I do not own Touhou Project.

I made a Sakuya X Meiling yuri slideshow on Youtube, too! Please check it out, comment and stuff, okay?!

My username there is Hikasu3445.

"Good morning, Mistress! The weather sure is rape today..."

"...What?"

Remilia Scarlet glanced up from her steaming cup of coffee and stared at Sakuya Izayoi in confusion. She also looked rather lost, and seemed to be busy trying to figure out what the hell she had just said.

Putting on a sheepish grin, the short-haired girl cried out, "S-Sorry! Sorry about that! A slip of the tongue, that's all it was! A total accident, yeah! Forgive me, Mistress!"

Remilia nodded, and went back to sipping her coffee.

"So, Mistress, did you sleep rape last night?" Sakuya asked, before immediately slapping her hands over her mouth.

Sighing, Remilia slammed her cup back down on the table and questioned, "...Are you trying to tell me something, Sakuya-chan?"

"No! No, not at all! I just...is there anything else you rape, Mistress?"

"ALRIGHT, NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING RIDICULOUS!"

Sakya sighed. "I don't really understand it myself; it's like my consciousness is trying to make me feel guilty for having raped Hong Meiling last night..."

"YOU RAPED HONG MEILING?!"

Throwing her hands up in self-defense, Sakuya exclaimed, "Hey! Rape is such a...such a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty word. Can't we just say I...aggressively fondled her? Huh? Is that a problem? Is it?"

"But you stole her virginity...by force! You deflowered her!" Remilia cried.

Sakuya shrugged. "Meh. She was gonna lose it to me anyway. Just thought I'd help and speed up the process. Besides, I doubt she was a virgin by the time she got here anyway..."

"This is unbelievable!!"

"You're telling me! About halfway in, she was screaming 'Oh god, keep going, keep going', so obviously I did. I'm pretty sure she enjoyed it, from the way she was hugging me and crying and moaning and kissing me so passionately and everything..." Sakuya recalled, speaking in a bored tone as if it was no big deal.

Remilia thought about it for a while. "...Tell me more."

Taking a seat, Sakuya began to tell the tale of her sexual adventures that had transpired last night. "Well, it all started with Meiling being her usual obnoxious self, so I threw some knives in her face. When I went over to finish her off, I realized...she was actually getting off on the pain! I could see tears in her eyes, but she had a big perverted smile and she was touching herself. Watching her masturbate was starting to turn me on, so I scooped her up into my arms, brought her to my room, dropped her on my bed, and raped the living daylights out of her!!!"

"Wow...that sounds hot...I wish I had been there..." Remilia remarked with a playful smirk.

Sakuya nodded. "Yeah, we could have had a threesome!!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha - No."

"Aww..."

Suddenly, Hong Meiling came burst into the room, looking as cheery as ever. Wrapping her arms lovingly around Sakuya's shoulders and neck, she purred, "Sakuya-chan...that was so much fun last night. Can we...do it again? Pleeeeeease?"

Sakuya smiled softly at her. "Only if the Mistress says I can, okay/ I don't want to shirk my responsibilities..."

Still smirking, Remilia waved them off, saying, "...You crazy kids go and have fun,"

Squealing with joy, Meiling lifted Sakuya over her head and ran off down the hall. Once they were gone, Remilia took a sip of her coffee again and nodded to herself. 'Mmm...good cup of joe...'

Suddenly, she realized something. "IT WASN'T RAPE AT ALL!!! IT WAS JUST SEX!!!!"