A festive spirit could be felt all over the world. A year after the League was eradicated from Runeterra (some blame it on weird gods who they call Ri'to) was somewhat of a strange holiday, since it also brought an uneasy time, in which nothing was certain; There was no middle ground between Demacia, Noxus, Ionia, Shadow Isles or any other opposing nation, but so far it was a strange period of tranquility. Societies started integrating champions back, although not every champion handled the changes well. As Irelia became captain of Ionian guard, Lee Sin roamed forests and mountains with no sense of purpose, having had lost his position as a guardian of Ionia in the League.
Yet, despite an angry crowd that had been trying to persuade the officials otherwise, absolution was announced for champions like Zed and myself.
Nonetheless, it was also Snowdown, the happiest time of the year for many. Adults and children alike were playing around with the glimmering snow, and the Capital of Ionia was lit up and sparkling, tiny lights hanging from every pole, wire or house, the trees decorated using little shiny bubbles of magic. In the crowded center market it smelled of ginger and honey, and fires burned to keep everyone warm and cozy. Bard even brought some penguins, but they were a tad bit aggressive, and mothers would try to keep their children away from them. It was Yi's turn to play Santa this year, and he was trying to meditate through it, even as the children were poking his nose and pinching his beard. The sales were also booming- Soraka's Banana Shop almost ran out of bananas (that was mostly Wukong's fault), and that would usually never happen. It was perfectly peaceful, and everyone was celebrating.
And there I was, sitting in silence. Alone, at Gragas' Bar, waiting for someone. They promised they would come, the people which I used to call friends. I had finished my drink long ago, even Gragas, the bartender ,was nowhere to be found, and the bar was completely silent, save for one drunkard sleeping in a pile of his own vomit, snorting some of it.
I thought to myself: "Why? I've made peace with the Ionians, yet they still seem to hate me. We even agreed that my past would be forgotten, I was promised a peaceful life here. I thought I had friends… I even put on my best coat, mittens, scarf and all, just to look cute so anyone would notice me, and wouldn't push me away, and instead come say hi"
As I was silently contemplating my strange situation and slipping further into depression, Gragas came back. He didn't even look at me, just murmured "We're closing" and urged me to leave. It was past midnight already, when I went out into the cold. Just now I realized that it was Snowdown- the time everyone should be celebrating with their friends of family, so for me- no one. I thought I had someone, but apparently not. I easily got used to the fake smiles that everyone would give me, and I never thought I would be left without them. It all slowly came to me: "I'm nothing. Some people fear me, and some are trying to use me, but no one ever sincerely smiles at me. I guess I do deserve that, after everything I've done. Still, everyone seems to have a second face just for me. Don't I truly mean anything to everyone? Karma, my so called supporter, who had persuaded me to turn back to Ionia just so they could win some petty fight against the Noxians, and had given me a job after, even she talked shit about me when I wasn't present. Maybe if I became a whore, someone would want me. That doesn't seem too bad of an option now, but I would completely wreck what's left of my worthless life. Am I just a massive fuck-up?".
I was waddling through the snow as a cow on ice, without any sense of direction or particular goal. Finally, I found myself stumbling towards my apartment, but I knew it was empty, and changed my course to the liquor store instead. Even the ugly, old and wrinkled cashier didn't bother to look at me, but somehow still frowned when I walked up to her. She clearly wasn't having a very good time either: "I wanna go home to my man, and instead I have to wait for fuckers like you, bitch"- she almost shouted at me. "Sorry", I muttered, and felt my eyes beginning to swell. I ran out of the store, tears running down my cheeks. "Fuck it", I told myself as I was opening the bottle. Vodka soon ran down my throat, as bitter as my tears, yet warmer. After the bottle was empty, I looked around for a bench, and when I found one, I opened another bottle. I was trying not to think. I used to have everything: even a flying castle, for fuck's sake! The only thing I lacked was any form of human contact. I had given everything up for it, and look where that got me!
After some time, when the snow had settled and bottles had been emptied, some shattered, I, heavily intoxicated, saw a bridge.
"Oh, just what I needed", I thought. "If I kill myself here and now, it will all be over. That's the best thing that could happen now! At least in death I might find true absolution".
I came closer to the bridge, madly shouting at it: "You better be high enough!".
My heartbeat quickened as I saw at least a thirty-meter descent. "Perfect", I thought. It was finally going to be over. Drunken warmth and joy filled me, and I lined up for my jump.
"Here we go, on three!" I shouted into the dark. My life began rolling through my eyes: there I was, a little girl with a big potential, creating black orbs out of thin air, making grannies growl as I happily hopped around my hometown. They had always hated me. "She should be dealt with", one proclaimed. The other seemed to agree. Then the pace of my memories quickened, and now I was standing before the elders. "You shall be taken to a master for training". Oh, this was going to end badly, if only they knew. Yet another memory- my powers were growing, and Master said I was making him proud. All lies, obviously. Finally, the moment that still haunts me. "How dare you strip me of my power? You old faggot! Give them back, goatfucker!". I was shouting. Next thing I saw, he lay dead before me, splattered on a wall. I knew I'd done it. Then I'd cast myself into exile, and barred the doors of my fortress, where no one could harm, mock or betray me. Years later, I got a message asking me to fight for Ionia, and I needed it. I was lonely. I still am.
I came back to the present, and focused on the task at hand. It wasn't easy keeping my balance, drunken and frozen.
"One, two, and…" Suddenly I heard a voice shouting.
"Stop! What the fuck do you think you're doing?". I wasn't familiar with the voice, but it rang a bell. It was female, sweet and soft.
"Get down form there! You're going to fall!" she shouted.
"That's precisely what I want, now let me die! I'm just a worthless killer. There's no reason for someone like me to exist!"
Blocking all the voices out, I finished my countdown. "Three". It only took a little effort to start flying down. The feeling was heavenly- all of my sins will be washed away, all the angry looks gone, all the fake friends got rid of. I saw a blurry snowflake.
"How peaceful"
Then, something interrupted my fall. With a thud, I was flying in the wrong direction. Something flashed before my eyes, and I was laying on the shore, in the cold. There was the sweet voice again, but all I managed to do was to cough once before slipping away into darkness.
A.N.- Gonna take a shot at fanfic, this is my first one. I'm not a native English speaker, so don't be too harsh on grammar, though corrections are always welcome. This is all new for me, so if you have any suggestions/tips/corrections- please leave a review. I'm looking for any feedback I can get. If all goes well, I should write a chapter each week at least, maybe a bit more. So far this looks fun! :D
Edit- I've refined the first chapter a bit. Barns-N-Novels- thanks for the review, I mainly edited the chapter for you, hopefully things will be clearer. I really appreciate constructive feedback. Trying to Put Pen to Paper- yes, POV switches around, but the main one is Syndra's, and others will be separated by *'s.