Timothy sat on the edge of the desk his legs swinging up and down, looking at the the two kids trying to do anything with their pens but use them to put words to paper. He watched them sticking the pens in their mouths, tapping on the table. Just to pass the time, the teacher imagined a cartoon of Wyatt all flaming red hair and freckles, with a pen sticking out of his ear or balancing on his nose. "too bad I can't draw, " he thought.
This was the first year he had the boy in his class. He scrolled through what he knew, single mom, sort of the sensitive artist type, he recalled that the youth had made a bit of a stir in the art department with an acrylic of the night sky, garnering an honorable mention in some rather ritzy art contest.
Out of the corner of his eye he tried to study Callie. She was intently staring at her desk tapping her book with her pen. So much for trying to be discrete he thought, he doubted she would have known he was there if he was jumping up and down while wearing a clown suit.
The pen tapping continued and Wyatt even started a counter beat with his pen syncopated to Callie's . This is nuts Timothy thought, we've been here 20 minutes and nothing is happening. "Look you are going to write something"...He paused trying to think of something worth saying.. .." Anger can be great put it on paper its got passion,"
He looked directly at Callie, but she had her head down staring at her pen. The school's vice principle, his boss, Lena had told him that they were taking-in both the girl and her younger brother for an indefinite period. That must be 5 kids now, he thought. I can barely take care of myself.
Lena hadn't said much just that Callie was a foster kid that had had a rough time. The girl, herself, didn't give much a way either. Who could blame her, kicking around from home to home. He recalled the story of the girl taking a bus down to San Ysidro to invade this crazy guy's home in order to join up with her brother. Definitely willing to put it on the line, he concluded, and she's got a big heart somewhere in there.
It gave him an idea, "You know, " he reflected, "it take a lot of courage to write, courage to think your thoughts are worth putting down on paper, but from what I know of you Callie," calling her out, "Your not lacking courage." He thought he saw her redden, but he continued.
"I need you two, to show me some courage, what are you afraid of write the worst thing that comes to mind, Something that makes you angry, and sad or guilty. Makes you feel something. If it has passion in its worth reading"
10 minutes later, She and Wyatt were out of the class with walking orders to come back with something tomorrow. As they were leaving, barely out of the door Wyatt turned to Callie "What was that about."
Callie didn't say anything, she just wanted to get to the house and maybe sit out in the back yard. The house wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was relatively safe. The thought made her smile as she laughed at her self, thinking "That's me, full of courage!"
But the boy thought the smile was meant for him " I mean what did you do? take on a bunch of knife wielding thieves.. He smiled and dead panned "I am planning a trip to mexico ….to buy hashish, can I count on you as my protection." She laughed, "Oh yeah" and then seriously, " I think he was just trying to be nice, you know relevant. "
Wyatt backed-up in mock astonishment, " She speaks," Callie looked at him, a little angry, "
"No offense...I got my car, let me give you a ride, you won't have to talk, promise" Callie smiled this time for real.
"Sure."
On his own, later that night, Wyatt reflected on the day, the smile could have been a shooting star he thought, quick , bright, and if he had blinked, he would have missed it.
Courage Callie thought, that's one way to describe living with complete strangers, god knows some mornings it took everything she could muster to just get out of bed. The house was still terribly new and it could be overwhelming. There was too much going on , too many personalities bouncing off the bright walls all covered with personal photos and memento's of happy times and places.
It was a bit of a three ring circus, really. Lena the artsy earth mother, her butch wife Stef, a cop, who walks into the house with a gun and night stick. And the kids they just automatically seemed to expect good things to happen, which was probably sensible because for them, more often than not, everything ended well. Hell, Callie thought, in what other world would she have been able to get Jude out of that house in one day, with no real repercussions on her. Without Stef there, she reasoned, she would have likely ended-up in Juvie, or even shot.
She grabbed the guitar from her room, and headed out back behind a thick pine that could screen her from the kitchen window.
Lena, however, came and sat by her side.
"Hey Callie, were going to give Jude a lot of hand me downs from Branden and Jesus, " you don't think he'll mind do you."
"Oh, he's easy about clothes," Lena. "I can't imagine hell complain"
Lena started to continue and Callie realized this really wasn't about Jude,
"We don't have anything for you. Mariana is tiny and both stef and I are couple of inches taller than you. 'So,"... And Callie saw what she had begun to think of as Lena's 'concerned educator look'- a quiet call to for an action.
Callie , however, refused the offer to speak, and after a brief silence Lena added
"I think we need to go shopping,"
"Thanks Lena, i'll hit-up my trust fund."
"There is money from the state Callie, and I'm sure we can add stuff to the budget,"
She paused. " I have to buy some clothes for myself, maybe you and I could go this weekend.
" Really Lena, thank you, but i don't really shop much,"
"Honey you can't wash clothes every nigh, so, I think you have to bite the bullet and spend some time."
"Well i'm use to shopping on my own."
Lena paused...gently, "I'd like to buy you something, you can shop on your own too, but I like to help you pick out a few things...The state money is one thing, but this would be my treat."
Callie look down, this friggin family, she thought, and smiled, the good daughter.
"Okay, its a date."
In the car the next morning Lena said, "you're okay with consignment stores for jeans and blouses?" Callie shrugged.
Lena continued, " a friend has a nice shop in the old town, I always like to go there first."
"i'm not much with clothes Lena, "
"Well lets just take a look."
They drove for a while in silence and Lena tried to edge around to the night Callie took off after Jude.
" You know we only grounded Brandon because mike was so adamant. I don't disagree with them, really, running off like that was wrong, but all in all, given the situation we were going to let it go,"
Callie looked at Lena,her lips pursed " That guy beat Jude, for wearing a dress Lena, how is that ok, Jude couldn't stay there,".
Lena paused a while and then said quietly " I know and we want to help Callie, that's what we're here for, you don't have to be alone in this. Stuff like that we can make things easier"
Callie, didn't say anything, watching the angry thoughts roll around in her head not seeing any good that could come from the conversation.
"its not so simple" Callie said softly under her breath.
" Yeah it isn't simple" Lena agreed grasping at a straw or a hint of something, and it worked like a key turning in a lock.
"Who am I suppose to go to?Would you have listened, really and what if you or stef had said no. What then? Its not like the cops gave a damn they just arrested me. I got a week in Juvie, for what?, and its my record that's screwed, I got a felony Lena, because that asshole beat a 12 year old boy."
She turned toward Lena, "Really, Would you have believed me, I mean it wasn't like you were jumping up and down to help at Juvie," she said.
With the anger came tears. Just the thought of the Prison made her give a sharp intake of breath, she said accusingly. "I was sleeping on your couch, for god sake, Why? wasn't there room under the stairs," She was quiet for a while...Anyways its not like you needed another boy, i mean its not like this loads of fun for you."
They drove in silence. Lena focusing on the road and her breath, as the girl raged.
But Callie calm now said something she knew to her core, "Everyone looks out for themselves you know that Lena. In what Universe is it in your interest to help Jude, I mean If Mariana"...Callie stopped mid-sentence .
"Mariana?" Lena prodded.
Callie paused for a while gathering her thoughts, cursing herself trying to backtrack, "Lena, please, you and Steph are wonderful and i'm thankful for all you done for us. I shouldn't have let Brandon come along. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry i won't do that again"
Lena drove on, not knowing how to respond, the words were all right but the tone sounded almost robotic, well she thought, ruefully,"at least the girl is a terrible liar."
A little while later Lena heard a weary voice, that was so full of sorrow it pained her.. " None of you deserve this Lena," Lena glanced at the youth, and thought to herself, this girl may be made of sugar and spice, but its mixed in with a bucket of tears.. She looked back at the road. And said and truly meant. "Don't worry, girl, whatever you and Jude bring we're going to handle it, and , trust me, if need be will come back for more."
Lena passed the store didn't see an easy parking spot, and still rattled by the conversation she cruised on. She turned to Callie. "Can I drag you over to the pier, maybe walk on the beach a bit. It always makes me feel good."
Callie nodded and leaned her head against the window., feeling the cool glass against her face. They parked and started to walk, the movement and fresh sea smells and limitless sky, was a welcome break and as they walked she took Callie's hand
"Prison must have been awful". Lena said.
Callie scoffed "Juvie's not prison, but it wasn't a high point of my life. .
" I can imagine, But, I guess it hasn't been easy."
Callie, stopped bent down and picked up a smooth rock. She threw it at the water,watching it disappear without making a ripple in the waves.
"I don't know..., some of the families were'n't cool, but I've been able to pretty much keep myself out of trouble. It's not like I've had to run with gangs. I mean you sort of keep your head down , right." Callie looked at her with a sardonic smile.
Lena had no idea where the conversation was heading so just repeated the last words, to keep the flow.
"Head down, huh."
"Well yeah, I mean, if they don't see you they can't hurt, you."
They walked on for a bit, Lena wondering, not for the first time, if she was in way over her head with this girl But She turned toward Callie, looking at her, standing on a beautiful beach, it wasn't hard to see a healthy cleared eye girl, a young woman, really ,with her whole life ahead of her. The thought lifted her spirits, making her feel light and peaceful, like a small boat rising on a swell.
"Well my dear, "Lena smiled. "That's why we're gonna get you some colorful clothes, cause in this family, and that includes you, we hold our heads high. Callie, I am descended from Queens, and that make you a princess." She dropped the girl's hand, draped her arm over her shoulder. And started to pull her away from the beach..."to the store." she laughed, pointing forward with her free hand.
From the beach they walked the half mile or so into town. As they walked Lena saw the girl glance at her from time to time, It made Lena smile, she felt good walking in her city, where she had made a life with a home, a family, a partner. She loved being a mom and having kids to show and give things to, and this girl, who seemed to simultaneously ache to belong while being desperate to keep everyone at arms length touched her deeply. She expected so little from the world, but she hadn't fully closed off, yet. there was hope. She saw Callie glance at her again and so she looked at her and smiled. The girl reddened and then blurted out, "Are you really descended from Queens". Lena looked at her, Raised and eyebrow." Wait till you meet Gram, princess."