AN:This was just a small one-shot I did in a couple of hours yesterday, to get all of my AkuRoku-angsty-ness out a little while! Hehe, I just felt like it. This is the first time I publish something not M-rated :p well, I hope you will like it!
This is very much inspired by the picture It's Better This Way by neofox on deviantART, so credit to her for the pretty picture which made me write this.

Dedicated to: Riku-stalker, because she's still a wonderful, inspiring writer and her work is brilliant.

To all of you waiting for my other stories: Guess who has vacation next week? Means I will update both Good Enough and Do You Remember! Thank you for being so patient with me!
Category: Angst/Tragedy/Romance
Pairing: Axel x Roxas.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts in any way! It's so sad, I know! The things written in italics are flashbacks. The flashbacks are actual scenes from the game. The first is the scene 'The Orders' from Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix and the other is the famous 'No one would miss me'-scene from the original Kingdom Hearts II.

It's from Axel's PoV

-

The rain fell heavily, the drops making their own music as they hit the ground. I was soaked to the bone, and even starting to get cold. I had the hood on my long, black cloak pulled over my head, hiding most of my face. Standing leaned up against the wall on the corner of a building, my emerald gaze was fixed upon a house across the street from where I stood. I'd been standing there a couple of hours, not moving. It was already dark, but I didn't pay attention to it. I was waiting. Waiting for him to finally appear. I would be lucky if he came out tonight though. With the way the rain was pouring, not many people would want to go outside. But I couldn't leave before he did.

I was on a mission.

-

"Get rid of him?!" I yelled in disbelief. "Wait a second! Isn't it a little early for that?" I asked angrily. Number III of Organization XIII grunted, displeased.

"It's an order. Why are you hesitating?" he asked. "Aren't you the one who dealt swift, merciless judgement to those who turned their back on the Organization?" his voice was mocking.

"He hasn't turned his back on us!" I said, trying to talk sense into the jerk of an airhead. "He's just not able to come back yet!"

"If he doesn't come back, then he must pay the prize." As Xaldin spoke he summoned one of his lances, which hovered next to the man. "If you oppose these orders you will be the one to pay." The lance shot forward, hitting my chair mere inches from my head. I felt the gush of air from it on my face, but I didn't even blink my eyes. I just kept glaring at the man, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Xaldin," the Superior's voice cut through the silence. "Enough." Number III sighed and the lance beside my head dissolved into air. "Now, Axel," Xemnas said and turned his head to me. "Bring him back. If he refuses you will eliminate him." As he spoke, a large energy-ball formed in his hand.

"Use the Dusks…" I muttered, removing my gaze from Number I. There was no way the Dusks would be able to pull something like that off.

"It's your job, Number VIII," Xemnas said in his normal, sickeningly calm voice. "But if you refuse, I could always have another member of the Organization do it." I snorted.

"Fine, I got it!" I started getting ready to leave that damned place. "I'll do it, I'll do it!" I cast Xemnas and Xaldin one last hateful gaze before I disappeared.

-

I looked up as the door of the house on the other side of the street was opened. And there he was. His blonde hair as beautiful as ever, naturally spiked and amazingly soft-looking. His lithe form, his small and boy-ish build. He hadn't changed at all. I don't know why I had expected him to, though. Not that much time had passed since Roxas left Organization XIII. I guess time had passed so much slower without him. After all, I hadn't seen him since the night he left.

-

Roxas walked down the dark street. He seemed to be so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice me standing there, leaning against a wall. I knew that he'd thought about leaving for a while. I just didn't know that it would be so soon. As he walked past me I couldn't help myself. I had to say something. "Your mind's made up?" I asked in a dull voice. He stopped before he turned and looked at me. He sighed, his eyes not meeting mine completely.

"Why did the keyblade choose me?" he asked. "I have to know…" As he turned away again I felt worry and anger burst up in me. I didn't want him to leave. I pushed myself off the wall.

"You can't turn on the Organization!" I said loudly. I was desperate. "You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" I wanted to beg for him to stay with me. He sighed.

"No one would miss me." He started walking again.

"That's not true," I protested, watching him walk away. "I would…"

-

Roxas walked down the street in a quickened pace. I pushed myself off the wall and followed him. For a couple of minutes I just walked down the same street as him, keeping up with his pace. After a little while the blonde boy stopped and turned around suddenly, facing me. "What the fuck do you want?" he growled. I stopped, reaching my hands up to let the hood on my head drop. My shoulder-long, crimson hair sprung free, still spikey even though the rain had had its way with it. Meeting that amazingly blue gaze, I smiled at Roxas. He didn't show any signs of planning on greeting me. "Well?" he demanded harshly.

"Roxas, you have to come back with me!" I said. He gave me a questioning stare.

"Look, I don't know who the hell you are, but I don't have the time for this!" he said, before he turned and started walking.

"Roxas!" I yelled after him. I couldn't let him walk away from me. Not this time. The blonde boy turned to face me again.

"I'm going to ask you just one more time," Roxas hissed lowly. "Who are you, and what is it that you want from me?"

I felt an empty feeling grab a tight hold right around where my heart would have been located if I had one. "You really don't remember…" I muttered. It was more of a statement than a question.

"Remember what?!" Roxas yelled. I sighed, running a hand through my flaming red spikes.

"Listen, Roxas…" I started. "If you don't come back with me to the Organization, they will have you killed!" my voice was starting to give off a hint of despair.

"You must have mistaken me for someone else…" Roxas muttered. "I have no idea what you're talking about! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go." As he turned around again I darted forwards and wrapped my hand around his wrist.

"Roxas, please-" he cut me off.

"Don't touch me!" he said and pulled his arm from my grip. I felt hurt. Why couldn't he remember me? He had turned and was now walking away, quicker than before.

"Roxas, if you refuse to come with me I've been ordered to destroy you!" I cried. The boy stopped.

"What?" he asked, not turning around this time. I sighed.

"They want me to kill you," I muttered. At this, the boy spun around. He summoned Oathkeeper and Oblivion, his two keyblades, before glaring at me. "Roxas, please…" I begged, my voice at the softness of a whisper. I didn't want it to come to this. His eyes flashed with anger as he charged at me. I swiftly summoned my chakrams, dodging the boy coming at me. I'd trained with him so many times before; I almost knew how to read his movements. But Roxas was quick, and a really good fighter.

We danced around in the rain for a long while. I tried not to hurt him. I didn't want to!

"Fight!" Roxas yelled in rage. I met his eyes. They were so cold. Could he really not remember anything about me? Nothing of what we'd shared? The empty space in my chest was aching. I let my guard down for a second, and I felt a burning pain in my side. Roxas had managed to slash me with one of those damned keyblades. I hissed loudly as I summoned a ring of fire around me and Roxas, causing him to gasp. The heat would soon make it harder for Roxas to move so quickly. We started a new round of our unchoreographed dance, dodging blows before sending them back in return.

That was when it struck me.

If I failed this mission the Organization would send someone else to finish Roxas off. They would do it in a cruel, painful way for sure. The empty feeling inside me grew stronger and more painful as I realized what I had to do. I flung a chakram at Roxas, who was running against me with his keyblades raised, ready to strike again. I watched as he just barely managed to dodge the deadly weapon, tripped, and fell to the ground. Raising my other chakram, I acted swiftly, doing my best to ignore the agony clutching inside my chest.

Roxas' breath hitched, just as the terrible sound of flesh being stabbed ripped through the air. One of my chakrams was piercing his back. The boy let out a loud cry of pain. Leading his hand down to his stomach, Roxas gasped as his fingers ran across the spike that had stabbed him through his torso. Dark, red blood was pouring from the wound. The boy looked at me, his cerulean eyes filling with tears. He started losing his balance and fell forwards, grabbing a hold in the front of my cloak. Automatically I reached my hands out, grabbing a hold of the falling boy. He was breathing heavily now, a drop of blood running from his mouth down his chin. "W-why?" the blonde managed to choke out before he slid down to his knees. I quickly bent down next to him. The rain was still beating harshly down on us, but I'd stopped caring about it a long time ago. I took a firm hold of the chakram sticking out of the boy's back, and pulled it out in one swift motion, wincing as Roxas let out another cry of pain. I sat down, cradling him in my arms, ignoring his failed attempts of fighting back. I leaned close to his now pale face. The ring of flames around us was fading slowly.

"I would rather kill you myself," I whispered gently into his ear. "I love you too much to let anyone else do it." A tear slowly made its way down my chin, falling onto Roxas' face. "It's better like this," my voice was shaking. The blonde swallowed thickly as he connected his eyes with my emerald ones again. Then the sapphire orbs lit up slightly.

"Axel…" he whispered, a low sob escaping his lips. It seemed as if the lost pieces of his memory were finally starting to come back to him. "Axel," he breathed out again, reaching a hand up, grabbing a hold of the front of my cloak, a small but happy smile playing on his beautiful lips. He coughed, more blood running down his chin. His breath became unsteady, and I knew he was fighting. "I h-heard… you…" he whispered. "The… night I-I left." He let his hand move to my face, his fingers tracing the up-side down triangle tattoos beneath my eyes. "I wanted t-to… turn back…" the blonde was struggling with his words, his body starting to tremble.

"I have to get you back! We can get you fixed up!" I said, my voice desperate. Roxas smiled gently and shook his head.

"Let's not… s-spoil the m-memory…" he whispered. I bent down so close to him that he could probably feel my breath on his angel-like face. "I… l-love you t-too, Axel…" a tear rolled down his face. I couldn't stop the sob that left my throat. The guilt welled up in me. I would never forget the sight of Roxas, lying in my arms, fighting for his life. He was so beautiful, even like this.

"I'd keep you in my heart, if I had one…" I whispered, letting my hand run soothingly though his hair. He used what he had left of strength to hoist himself up and press his lips against mine. I felt the boy in my arms exhale gently against my lips. Opening my eyes, I saw a flash of familiar warm blue, one last time, before he faded away into darkness, leaving me alone in the pouring rain.

I felt numb. Empty. Like a candle that was about to burn out. Another tear fell, joining the thousands of raindrops and Roxas' blood on the ground. I stood up, removed the black glove from my right hand and brushed a finger across my lips. I could still feel the warmth of him lingering there. I lead my hand to the left side of my chest, letting it rest on top of where my heart should have been. "I love you, Roxas," I whispered. Heart or no heart, this was where I would always keep him.

-

AN: Any thoughts? Please leave me a review!

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