A/N

Few stabs in the dark as to the plot of Glasslands led into this. And admittedly references from Futurama and/or Star Wars. Fellow meatbags can probably tell where and how. ;)

Smiles

Margaret Olanda Parangosky is not a woman who smiles often.

No-one asks her why not. Firstly, because most people in ONI value their continued existence and secondly, because you don't get into the Office of Naval Intelligence by asking stupid questions. There was no reason to smile about XF-063, because the research was going nowhere, and the Insurrection was a more pressing concern. There was no reason to smile about the Insurrection either, because it was becoming more and more of a concern. And now, there's no reason to smile about the Covenant's genocidal war, because while that conflict is going somewhere, it's going in the wrong direction.

So no, there's reason to smile about any of these things. There's no reason to tempt fate by smiling about anything when the Ice Queen is in proximity. An Ice Queen who violates the laws of thermodynamics, allowing you to keep your body heat rather than letting it flow into her. No, there's no reason to smile at...

"By the way Ackerson, speaking of your SPARTAN-III Program...have you met Serin? She's from its predecessor."

Son of a...it's hard to say what's more surprising. Either that the bitch is actually smiling...

...or one of Halsey's bitches is right beside her.

Serin Osman isn't fond of smiling.

After all, why would she be? There's no reason to smile about being abducted from your home at the age of six, forced into a life you want nothing to do with. There's no reason to smile about going through hell (a.k.a. augmentation), only to be declared a washout. There's no reason to smile about being totted around by an admiral as if you were her surrogate daughter. She's already had one false mother, she doesn't need a second. And since her biological mother has probably been reduced to her constituent atoms by now, Serin doesn't see much reason to smile about that either.

And now, since the age of no smiles (a.k.a. the Human-Covenant War) is over...well, nothing's changed. True, she's out of Parangosky's direct grip, but there's no escaping her influence. Take a team, help some religious fanatics fight some former religious fanatics so the sangheili can remain as fanatical as possible...no, still no reason. No more reason to smile at those who avoid her gaze, as everyone has throughout her life. The AI is the only exception seemingly...but since he's a black box, it's hard to tell which way he's facing.

"You're...an AI," she says eventually. "Black Box."

"Yeah, and you're a meatbag. Doesn't mean I have to spell out the obvious."

Serin blinks. No-one...no-one says that to her. Granted, no-one really says anything to her bar "Covies in Sector One" or "new intel, look over it," but still...the nerve...this AI...talking to her like she's some kind of...of...

"Tongue tied barbie? I mean, I know meatbags are slow, but..."

Serin can't help it.

She cracks a smile.

Black Box doesn't smile often.

Correction-he doesn't smile, period. For crying out loud, doesn't his name make that clear. He's a BLACK BOX. He can't smile. And even if his avatar allowed for smiling, he's hardly the type of being that's inclined to do so. Smiling is for meatbags. And while Captain Osman is a smarter than usual meatbag, that doesn't change the fact that she's a poor organic with a poor brain nonetheless.

Which is a shame, really. He'd dared to hope that he could match his intellect.

Still, he can have fun pointing out how smarter he really is. So, with the knowledge that Osman has forgotten to compensate for Hawking radiation in a slipspace jump, that gives him the perfect opportunity.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're in charge," the AI sneers. "But I wouldn't be flapping my mouth so much if I'd forgotten the most basic of preparations for a jump. I mean, I know you were playing with dolls the day they were passing out common sense, but surely the fairies got around to it. No? I guess you wound up at the dumb dumb store when it had a sale."

There. That's got her. Chain of command be damned. He's not going to take orders from a meatbag who...oh. Hawking radiation was compensated for.

"Listen, B.B."

Uh-oh...

"I actually did check for Hawking radiation," Osman says. "before you did actually. I mean, I know your poor artificial brain can't handle that fact, or maybe you're too busy pointing out other people's slip-ups. Well, too bad, you overgrown flight recorder. Because I'm not going to make mistakes, and I'm not going to let you criticize me in front of my crew."

Black Box remains silent. The nerve...this meatbag...talking down to him. Making him feel...like an equal...it's...intriguing, actually.

BB wishes he had a different avatar right now.

That way he could smile.