THE ADVENTURES OF EG.

A/N: Ok so a new story! This is basically on my character EG otherwise known as Equatorial Guinea.

I'm also using my friend's (Wolfedloofeh on DA) oc Siberia.

This picture should explain everything:

art/The-perfect-drinking-buddies-397148719

I made the pic myself :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

Theme for this one: Siberia and EG are drinking buddies ewe (This is basically an RP me and her did but only for about a majority of it.)

Equatorial Guinea, otherwise known as EG, slammed her cup on the table.

"WAAAAIITTTOOOOR! MORE OSANG! WAIT NO VODKA! WAIT NO VODKA AND OSANG! YEAH MIX THOSE TWO TOGEHTOR I WANNA GET HIGH!" As drunk as EG seemed to be…Siberia was way worse. "FLYING MINT BUNNY! WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE!? YOU CAME TO SEE HERR STICK? SHE'S RIGHT HERE!" Siberia then proceeded to wave an imaginary stick in the air for a few seconds before falling to the ground.

EG looked at Siberia. "You okay...? We can stop the contest if you're going to die or something…" Determined not to give up, Siberia got back up using the bar table for support. "NYET! I will not lose to a micronationnnnnn~! "Siberia yelled. At the term "micronation" EG jumped right up. "OH IT'S ON NOW, COMMIE!" EG yelled. "I CAN TAKE MY ACHOHOL!"Grabbing the nearest liquid available, which was wine, EG started to gulp it down.

Determined not to lose to EG, Siberia attempted to drink some sake but quickly spat it out. "OH DEAR GOD JAPAN THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE! "Feeling depressed Japan started to go towards the emo corner. "Oh yeah!?" EG started to drink some Bud light but choked on it. "ACK THIS IS WORSE! AMERICA YOU SUCK!" America sulked. Siberia grabbed a can of Berliner Weisse and felt better. "Oh god. This is soooooooooooo much better. "Germany, who was in the bar, smiled. "NOT AT GOOD AS VODKA THOUGH" Germany joined Japan and America in the emo corner.

Wanting to impress Siberia EG started to chug down Osang and Vodka at the same time."HECK YEAH! OSANG FOR DA WIN!" EG exclaimed feeling more wasted than before. Russia however was upset. "My vodka…." Smirking Siberia decided to give EG some advice. "Try vodka and straight espresso. Wakes you right up, in the morning, da!" Siberia then turned to the crying Russian. "Calm down, bolshoy brat, I'll buy you some more once I'm sober." Taking Siberia's suggestion, EG gulped down a cupful of vodka and straight vodka.

That was when all hell broke loose.

"IFEELSOALIVEIWONDERWHERERUSSIAISINEEDTOKISSHIMNOI NFACTLETSGETMARRIEDRUSSIAMARRIAGEMARRIAGEMARRIAGE! "

EG screamed as she started to talk incredibly fast. Siberia did the same as she chugged down the 'chocolate Russian.'

"Woo! RUSSIA HEYEHEYHEYHEYHEYRUSSIABROTHERBRUDERBRATFRATELLOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSCREWGETTINGMARRIEDMARRIAGEM ARRYMARRIEDMARAGEMARRYMEMARRYWAITWHATSCREWTHATBROT HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR LET'SSTARTANOTHERCOLDWARCOLDWARCOLDWARRRRRRRR EXCEPTTHISTIMEIT'LLBENICEANDTOASTYHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH OT

NUCLEARWARFAREWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Russia started to quickly edge away as EG came closer.

"LETSMAKEOUTANDGETMARRIEDANDHAVESOUTHAMERICANRUSSI ANCHILDRENNOSCRATCHTHATWLETSSTARTWORLDWARTHREMEAND RUSSIAVERSUSTHEWORLDWECANBOMBAMERICAANDNORTHITALYA LONGWITHKOREAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJALETSGODOSOMEILLEGALST UFFLIKEPOLLDANCINGDIDYOUKNOWIPOLLDANCEIFEELSOALIII IVVVEE!"

Portugal, who was also there, started to cry at EG's behavior. "Where did I go wrong with her?" Germany started at the crazed Siberian. "And this is supposed to be the successor to the Russian Empire? Mein Gott... Why did I allow her to go drinking again?" Siberia on the other hand was yelling at EG and Portugal.

"NYET NYET NEY EGEGEGEGEGEGEGEG HE'S MOY BRAT! MOYBRATMOYBRAYMOYBRAT! YOU CAN'T MARRY MOY BRAT! BESIDESITSTOOHOTWHEREYOULIVEANDTOOCOLDHEREINRUSSIA ITWOULDNEVERWORKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

RUSSIAAAAAAAAAA HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS START A NEW COLDCOLDCOLDWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

EGFCOURSEICANMARRYHIMHAVEN'TYOUEVERHEARDOFOPPOSITE SATTRACTIDONTLIKEYOULETSGOTOWARANDGERMANYYOUBIGHUN KOFGERMANESSGETOFFMYMANRUSSIAISMYONLYONEANDSHUTUPP ORTUGALYOUDONTUNDERSTANDTRUELOVE!"

Still wanting more EG drank some more of the Chocolate Russian.

"LGVKJDSGLKJFLKSJLDKj!"

Spain came up to EG hoping he could calm her down. "Calm down senorita." "NEVER!"

Siberia, who was still on the Russia thing, started to yell at EG again.

"YOUCAN'TMARRYHIMDAMNITHELOVESCHINA!" Russia smiled. "It's true da?" China looked at Russia. "I-I don't…" Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol you will soon enough, my little sunflower~!" "Go away Russia."

"SEEITOLDYOUIWINIWINIWINIWINIWIN

DAMNSTRAIGHTHE'SABIGHUNKOFGERMANNESS

ABIGHUNKOFSEXYGERMANNESSOFSEXINESSSSSSSSSS

IGODDAMNDOUNDERSTANDTRUELOVERIGHTLUDWIGRIGHTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Scared of what would happen if he said no, Germany cleared his throat. "J-ja…." Siberia turned back to EG. All the nations were afraid they were going to argue again but what Siberia said was very shocking.

"ILIKETHISEVENTHOUGHWE'RETHREATENINGTOKILLEACHOTHE RWESHOULDGODRINKINGTOGETHERMOREOFTENYOUAGREEDA?!"

EG seemed to agree.

"HELLYEAHWESHOULDDOTHISMOREOFTENITSSSSSOOOOFUUN!" EG then proceeded to fall on the ground and started to laugh uncontrollably. England held up a notepad writing something. "Note to self: keep vodka and expresso away from these two..."

Fortunately Siberia didn't hear him.

"YEAHTOTALLYLIKEEVERYFUCKINGWEEKENDWE'LLDRAGALLTHE SELAMEASSPARTYBITCHESSOWECANMOCKTHEMINOURDRUNKENST ATE"

Walking over calmly to Germany, Siberia started to pester him. "Pssssttttt, hey, Fritz? Want to know a secret? "His eyebrows twitching, He looked at her. "What?"

"I'm not even drunk! I've only had two bottles of vodka! It's just the ESPRESSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOO THANK YOU ITALY FOR MAKING THIS AWESOMESHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Italy smiled holding a box full of expresso. "Ve no problem bella!" EG grabbed the box of expresso and started to drink it all.

"WESHOULDDOTHISNEXTWEEKENDNOBETTERWESHOULDHAVEAGER MANSPARKLEPARTY!"

Completely high, EG ran over and practically glomped Spain.

"SPAINSPAINSPAINSPAINLETSDOEEEEETLETSHAVEAGERMANSP ARKLEPARTYCANWECANWECANWE!?"

To make matters worse Siberia heard EG and squealed at the idea.

"ILIKEGERMANSPARKLEPARTIESSPARKLEPARTIESSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Germany however didn't agree.

"NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! WE WILL NOT RELIVE THAT TERRIBLE NIGHT I GOT INCREDIBLY OVER INTOXICATED ON!

" Siberia stripped down to a tank top, yoga shorts, and rubber boots and started to dance sexually. "JA I'VE GOT MEIN RUBBER BOOTS UND PARTY PANTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

EG did the same thing except she stripped to her undergarments horrifying Spain and Portugal. "PARTY PANTS! PARTY PANTS! Oh crud I don't have party pants. WHATEVER!"

Germany joined the emo corner. EG and Siberia wasn't going to have that though.

"JOIN US GERMANY! JOIN UUUUSSSS!"

They both said in at the same time. Siberia skipped over to Germany's emo corner and dumped sparkles all over him.

"COME ON, GERMANYYYYYYYYYY! FRITZZZZZZZZ YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Japan, seeing the situation getting out of hand, started to talk to Italy. "Italy-san. We should get out of here before something really bad happens. "

"Ve~! No!" Italy then stripped to his boxers. "YAY FOR GERMAN SPARKLE PARTIESSSSSSSSS!"

All of a sudden Prussia kicked down the door.

"DID SOMEVONE SAY GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY?! KESESESESESE~! OH VVEEESSSTTTTT, COME UND JOIN USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Germany was trying to get the sparkles out but to no avail. "Nein."

EG looked to Italy in approval for his decision. "HECK YEAH ITALY! SIBERIA AND PRUSS TRY TO CONVERT GERMANY!" Then EG looked at Japan evilly.

"Oh god no…"

"GERMAN SPAAARRRKLLEEE PAAARTTIIEESS!" And in a few seconds EG was on top of Japan undressing him. It was a little difficult thought due to his struggling. However, after a few seconds of trying EG fell backwards letting out a high-pitched squeal. At the squeal Japan went into Otaku mode and ripped his clothes off.

Germany was a different story.

"Joooiiinnn ussss…"

Shivering in terror, Germany tried to fight of the power of the German sparkle party. But he was losing and it was only a matter of time.

Spain looked at EG and then sighed. "What did you do to her Portugal?" "I didn't do anything!" "Sure…." Prussia laughed insanely. "COME ON WEST! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!" "N-nein!"

Germany was struggling to maintain his sanity as his urge to join was getting stronger much to Siberia's delight.

"AAAH! SOMEBODY HELP ME JAPAN GONNA DO SOMETHING TO ME!" Japan in his Otaku mode, had also downed the Chocolate Russian and was now currently chasing EG. "AAAHH!" "IT'S RAPING TIME! HUEHUEHUEHUE!"

Finally Germany gave in. "Ja is this a party?" "JA THIS IS A PARTY!" everyone said. Tonight was going to be fun.

A/N: what have I done…