Jack

It had been exactly 5 months and 4 days since I had seen Ianto again in the House of the dead. In that space of time I had moved away from Cardiff and stopped the world ending, again. But still I didn't feel like I was ready to let it all go, to start a new life and move on.

Ianto Jones, The only name that never left my mind. Back in the house of dead I had told him how I really felt, His face when he realised he'd gone made my stomach twirl inside me. I felt sick just thinking how he must of felt, and thinking of where he might be.

We had set off a bomb to stop sirious coming out of hell; ianto had left himself there to die. I only had seconds to tell him how I felt before he died again.

But I had to return to the only place in the world that reminded me of ianto.

Torchwood Headquarters – Cardiff.

I placed the papers on my desk they echoed around the building, I let out a small sigh as I sat down. 'Jack?' Gwen called

'In here' I replied folding my arms and closing my eyes. We had rebuilt the torchwood headquarters with a more efficient System; Tosh had designed it before… well before she left us. She had designed it with rooms for everyone, Owen and Toshs were empty, so was mine. I slept in Ianto's it smelt of him, his clothes and stuff were there.

'We're getting back to normal aren't we? I guess we can use the spare rooms for storage and we could use Ianto's room for-'

'No. I mean, I already have stuff in his room.' I said quickly

'Oh, right. Were nearly torchwood again' Gwen said placing a hand on the small of my back.

'Not torchwood.' I said placing a finger to a picture of ianto on my desk.

'I know.' Gwen said kissing her two fingers and placing them above my finger.

I sat there for a few minutes, my eyes shut closed with Gwen trying to make me feel better, and it had been weeks since I had held Ianto's body in my arms, but I still couldn't forgive myself for letting him go.

Everything felt like it had happened in days, like I had lost everyone apart from Gwen, I had lost the only man I ever truly loved for who he was. And I missed him, like when he left he took part of me with him- the only part that wanted to live.

Sometimes when I'm here on my own I see them, doing what they would do on a normal, laughing and joking about, Tosh trying desperately to get Owens attention and Owen being oblivious. And then ianto, making his coffee and telling our inside jokes, the unit cap I got Martha to get him was on my desk, he'd worn it once, and he never looked more adorable in boxers and a unit cap.

I smirked, thinking about that night we spent together, he had told me I was going to hell for cheating in hide and seek. Then I remembered how far away he was from me.

The computer on the other side of the room bleeped- Rift activity.

I went over and looked at the map,

'Rift activity near Cardiff hall, you up for it?' I asked

'Yeah I'll take it.' Gwen said

I nodded then turned and stood at the kitchen, Coffee just wasn't the same without Ianto. He had left me an email saying how it's made- but I never could make the frothing like his.

When Gwen Left She turned and gave me a worried look, then mouthed 'Smile' I forced a grin, it ached my cheeks, must have been ages since I'd smiled. I settled on my desk and picked up Ianto's Diary, I began to read it.-

Jack. God. He's like, wow. I still don't understand him though, dose he like me? Or am I just a way of getting his mind off Gwen.

Whatever way- I know I like him.

I love him – but he'll never be mine.

A grin creped on my face- of course I liked him, being with him made me realise who lucky I was to have met him.

'Ianto.' I whispered picking up the picture on m desk.

'Yes sir.'

I turned my head to the doorway, standing there was Ianto. All I could remember of that moment was the smash of the picture frame on the floor.

I woke up on Iantos bed, I blinked.

'Must have been a dream…' I said sighing.

But a smell woofed into my nose, that smell of that coffee, Ianto's coffee. I got up and wobbled to the kitchen, there standing pouring coffee was Ianto.

'Hello Jack' Ianto said without even turning round

'What? I don't?' I said as ianto turned around, it was defiantly him, it smelt of him.

'I –' Ianto began to explain but he couldn't I ran over and grabbed his face in my hands and pressed my lips onto his, he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer kissing me back, I carried on kissing, I wouldn't let go until I couldn't breathe.

When it came to that, I rested my forehead on his and breathed heavily, breathing in his breath, it smelt sweet, as always.

I pressed my lips to his forehead and then looked into his eyes,

'How? And for how long?' I asked not letting go

'Don't really know, and forever.' he replied holding on tight to my jacket

I breathed in heavily and smelled his hair. He was real no ghostness or hologram, his smell and his skin.