Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and his fellow characters, which means I do not sadly.
It was night at hogwarrts and Molly Poter couldn't sleep. She got up and had to use the bathroom but hermiany Granger was in the bathroom with her new boyfriend Draco Malfoy who was a third year Ravenclaw and smelled like tar and pizza. She apparrrated to the Grifindoor common room. On the table was a small Horcrux. She ate it and it tasted like Jelly. She tried to find another one, but she couldn't see any others.
She went into the hallway where she saw her least favorite cousin Harry Poter in the Hallway chatting friendly with Professor Snape. She really liked Snape. He was tall and was the best Divination teacher she ever had. She waved hello, but then Snape apparrated to his office. She was sad. Harry looked at her with a weird expression and started to cry. He was crying because he had lost his Sabrina Spector CD. It was a well known fact around school that Harry Potter loved to dance to "Magic Box" with his boyfriend Cedric, who was also a Griffindor. Rumor was he died in his fouth year, but he was just napping. While Harry was crying, two Horcruxes fell out of his pocket and she ate them. Their delightful taste filled her mouth and she continued wandering around the school.
Soon she had found three more and ate them all. She soon ran across Minreva Mcgoneagawl who was playing with her kittens in the hallway. Molly saw the final Horcrux behind her on a purple cushion. Abbra Kadabra she cried! The Horcrux fell into her hand. "Stop!" yelled Mcgoneagawl, but Molly wanted it. Alohamora Minevra she cried. Minevra turned into a mushroom and one of the kittens ate it. Molly ate the final Horcrux, which tasted more like jam then Jelly. Suddenly Lord Voldamurt appeared in front of her in his orange robe. "Thank you for freeing me, now I can open my exotic dance club in Diagan Alley!" he cried, before apparating. Happily she returned to her room where she fell asleep to dreams of tomorrows classes of Voodoo and Witchology 101.