Hey guys! I love Hikaru No Go, so I tried my hand at writing a little at it. I hope it's good. Sai's disappearance is a really tough subject for me, so sad. I hope you like this as much as I do. Please tell me what you think, what should I improve, what I do good or bad. Enjoy!
Yours always,
Yuval25(=
I do not own Hikaru No Go.
Stuck
It has been a year since the fifth of May. Shindou Hikaru sat on a swing in the playground he passed by every day on the way to school, pushing the ground with his feet and swinging slowly back and forth. Sai's fan was held firmly in his hand, tears running freely down his cheeks. Incomprehensible words were flowing out of his mouth. He never made it to school that day. He just sat there as the sun made its regular journey up above and the sky's blue shade became a darker one.
He recovered professionally from Sai's loss, playing Go and slowly climbing up the dans, winning and losing, learning more with each and every game. He even played Touya Akira in his father's Go salon sometimes. But he never truly recovered from losing Sai. He was still mourning, and he didn't know how to stop. Sai wasn't only a friend to him, he was much more. He was a teacher, an idol, a brother, a father, and he was part of him. When he asked Hikaru to if he could borrow a piece of his soul, he did, but he never returned it. That piece was still missing.
If his friends noticed that something was wrong ever since he started playing Go again, they never mentioned it. Sometimes they sent him a worried look, but they never said a word about it. Not even when he stilled and bowed his head with watery eyes every time someone says Sai's or Shuusaku's name. His parents weren't around him enough to realize what he was going through.
Nobody cares, he thought. Nobody cares, but maybe it's for the best. That way there would be no need to give any explanations. Although, he secretly wished that somebody would care. He needed someone to listen, someone to be comforted by.
"Sai," he gasped, "why did you leave me?"
He waited for the cheery, gentle voice that he knew would never come. He knew he won't get an answer, not from the one he wanted, but he tried anyway.
"Is it because I didn't let you play? I will let you play all the games from now on! I promise!" he pleaded. "I promise, Sai! I will let y-you p-play!" he broke down, becoming a sobbing mess. "I p-promise! Just c-come back-k!" He gulped down air hysterically.
The wind picked up, rustling leaves and hitting his face with its chillness, doubled because of the wet trails that kept forming with each tear.
"Please come back, Sai." He whispered hoarsely. "I need you."
Nobody answered. The whistling wind and the creaking swing were the only noises. Over and over again, his hope was crushed. He didn't care if it was masochism, he kept waiting. He couldn't accept the fact that this was it, that Sai isn't coming back. He couldn't move on. He was stuck between mourning and denial. He was afraid of forgetting Sai, how he looked like, his voice, his existence. He was the only one who knew for sure that Sai existed; did that mean that he never really existed? There wasn't a proof, not a solid one. Only Sai's Go remained, but that, too, was stuck and will never move ahead.
Life around Hikaru seemed to go on, but his didn't. He kept asking himself "What now?"
He waited…