Laughter
A/N: This is what you get when you combine a discussion on ethics in philosophy class with Stein being insane. I think similar things have been done before, but I wanted to put my own spin on it, and the world will never have enough Stein.
Warnings: Language, blood, some gore (not graphic)
Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater, Franken Stein, or Spirit Albarn. If I did, the whole series would be about Stein.
Spirit is used to Stein laughing, as much as anyone can be used to something like that. He tries his best to avoid the sound by keeping his partner as close to sane as possible, but even though he doesn't like admitting it to himself, that's never really been in his power to do. So he's used to high pitched giggles in situations where it would make more sense to be screaming, and to the uncontrollable sounds that burst out of the younger boy sometimes, leaving both of them quiet and shaky for days afterwards. And yeah, it still scares the shit out of him, but at the same time he almost appreciates it. It's his warning sign that they need to withdraw from the situation a bit, and to get Stein calmed down before something very bad happens.
He's used to Stein laughing, but he's not used to Stein laughing like this.
The laughter he's used to is an outburst of madness, harsh and inhuman. It contains no warmth, and is more hysteria than joy. It barely even qualifies as laughter, really. The noise that's currently leaving his partner's lips is… normal. It's happy, and carefree, and exactly like the laughter of a normal teenage boy.
Which, given the circumstances, makes it all the more disturbing.
"Stein!" Spirit snaps, almost shouts. "What the fuck is so funny?"
Stein turns, his arms held out in the air like a child playing. He's smiling, not a knowing smirk or the dangerous grin that sometimes twists his face, but a beam of amusement. Spirit would call it sweet if not for the flecks of blood on his face. Stein laughs again and spins around, again reminding Spirit of a child. Blood splashes beneath the boy's feet. "Nothing's funny, really." He admits. "It's just been so long since I've been this happy."
Spirit growls, grabbing his partner and shaking him. "No!" He shouts, as though he can get through to Stein by sheer volume. As though he can get through to Stein at all. "No, you do not feel happy in situations like this!" He gestures wildly at the inside of the warehouse, and the dismembered bodies lying on the floor.
"Yes, I do." Stein says matter-of-factly. He is still smiling, Spirit's anger not enough to ruin his good mood.
"Well, you shouldn't! You can't! It's wrong!" Even as he's saying it, Spirit knows how useless his argument is.
"Why is it wrong?" Stein asks, looking slightly annoyed now. "I didn't kill them. The kishin egg did. And we killed the kishin egg, so we gave them justice. The notice for this assignment only went up yesterday, and it took us that long to get here and find the kishin, so it's not like we could have saved them. We probably prevented more victims by killing it when we did. No matter how you look at it, we're in the right here. So why's it wrong to be happy?"
"Dammit, Stein, this isn't something you can explain away with logic!" He hates how reasonable the boy is, hates how he can be surrounded by dead bodies, murder victims, and not feel the bile rise up in his throat, how he can be surrounded by bodies and laugh with true happiness. "These people were torn to pieces, slaughtered like animals… they had lives and families and dreams… they had futures that were destroyed for no reason at all, and you find this funny?" By the end of this, he is pleading, feeling close to screaming or sobbing, and Stein is looking back at him with the same blank expression.
"I told you, Senpai, I don't find this funny." He says, and there's no emotion in his voice, just plainly stated truth. "I just like it, that's all. And they're already dead, so it doesn't matter."
"Don't you feel anything about their deaths? Anything at all?" He'd shake Stein again if he thought it would have any effect whatsoever. He's at the point of shaking Stein again anyway.
"What's wrong with death?" The younger boy asks, and there's genuine scientific curiosity in the way he's looking at Spirit. "Shinigami-sama is death, and we work for him. He's the one who lays down right and wrong for this world. There's nothing evil or unnatural about dying."
"Fuck that, Stein." Spirit says, and his voice is shaking, his whole body is trembling because he's surrounding by blood and bodies and parts of bodies and he feels sick over it, and his partner is just standing there feeling nothing but joy, and he knows that it's essential that he make Stein understand this but he doesn't know how. "Fuck that," he says again, louder this time. "You're scared of dying, Stein, I know you are, you told me! You're scared of the DWMA hunting you down if you go insane."
It's a low blow, but Spirit wants to make the silver-haired boy flinch, to at least feel something. But Stein remains as implacable as ever. "Sure I'm scared of dying." He says. "But I didn't die, and no one that affects my life on a regular basis died, so why should I care?"
"You're sick." Spirit hisses.
Stein shrugs. "I did warn you." He says.
Spirit almost punches him, until he sees that Stein is genuinely puzzled. He knows, he knew from the beginning really, that this is not something he can change. His partner may be a genius, but this is beyond his powers of comprehension.
He stands there, unsure what to do. Stein did tell him before they became partners that he was insane, literally insane. Spirit had shrugged it off at the time, and even in Stein's most psychotic episodes, he had always figured he could deal with it. Stein was just a kid with a sadistic streak and a susceptibility to madness. And sure, it scared Spirit, terrified him sometimes, and he knew that Stein was in very real danger of falling into madness and losing himself completely, but it was just like having a friend with a chronic illness. It was something you had to watch and be careful about, but most of the time it didn't matter.
This matters.
Right now, Stein is not out of control. He's just being himself, the way he's always been, and it's fucking scary. Sure, Stein has always said stuff like he can't feel love, and he can't understand morals, only rules, but Spirit hadn't really understood. Stein had said he was insane, and Spirit hadn't understood.
Something slackens inside of him, and all the fight vanishes. He turns away. "Let's just go report to Shinigami-sama," he says, hurrying out of the warehouse. He doesn't want to be there any longer than necessary. Stein follows reluctantly.
They're a couple blocks away when Steins footsteps, still several paces behind, stop. Spirit stops too, but doesn't turn around. "You know, Senpai," Stein says, and the words are so bitter Spirit can taste them, "I'm working really hard. I can't kill anything not on Shinigami-sama's list, and even the things I'm allowed to kill I can't experiment on at all. I'm following the rules and acting as close to normal as I can and I'll have to keep acting and keep pretending I'm someone I'm not for the rest of my life if I don't want to be killed. And people hate me when I can't pretend perfectly. I know you don't get it. I don't want you to get it, because you'd have to be as mad as I am. But can't you at least let me have a little bit of happiness?"
Spirit doesn't reply, and resumes walking, and Stein follows him.
Spirit's not mad at Stein anymore (just still a little shaky) and he doesn't blame Stein (he knows Stein will be shaky too) but why does his partner have to make everything so damn hard?
A/N: Pretty please review? With sugar? And ice cream? And a cherry on top?