A/n: Ahhh, nothing like sitting down, typing, and ignoring all of the red squiggles under my perfectly spelled wrods. I'm back from my year long break away from fans I don't have. I have a new story, and it will probably fail before I get to ch. 3., but who knows. Anyway, here goes!
p.s. if you read my phailed Alagaesian modding story, this is a bit like it, except I have better things to mod…
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P.s.s I write like this.
Eragon: HI!
Murtagh: Shut up. *slaps Eragon upside the head*
If you don't like it, go away.
P.s.s.s
I will refer to myself as "Matthew" That's not my name, but…wait, is that my name? Well, if it IS my name, no raping me.
P.s.s.s.s
this story is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY out of character, so if you don't like that, go away.
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CHAPTER ONE
The curse of the…PIE?
Matthew: Well, another day, another phailed story… lets go.
Eragon: Hello, my name is Eragon, and I like pie.
Murtagh: Hi, I'm Murtagh, and this is my idiot brother Eragon.
Eragon: I'm NOT an idiot!
Murtagh: Yes, you are.
Eragon: no, I'm not!
Matthew: yes, you are.
Eragon: No, I'm…duh…
Matthew: Whoops… shouldn't have said that.
Murtagh: Whoa, how'd you do that?
Matthew: I'm the God of this world.*chokes*
REAL GOD/Christopher Paolini: Aren't you forgetting something?
Matthew:*ack* oh *cough* yeah*
Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon, Eldest, or Brisingr. Great job on the new one if you're reading this Christopher!
Matthew: *breaths**gasp* ok, note to self, NEVER FORGET THE DISCLAIMER!
Murtagh: yeah, that's a good idea.
Eragon: lalalala…
Matthew: uh, should I change him back?
Murtagh: nah, it can wait till tomorrow.
Matthew: ok…
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4:00
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Eragon: lalalalala OH MY GOSH!!!!!
Oromis: what?
Eragon: IT"S A PIECE OF PIE!
Oromis: …
Eragon: I. MUST. EAT. IT!*runs over to the Mile in Diameter Pie* OM NOM NOM NOM~
Oromis: Whoa! Eragon, don't eat so much! You might get-
Eragon: OW!
Oromis: constipation…
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5:00
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Matthew: So I said, why doesn't she just forget about the bucket completely, and just hug the elephant while juggling hippos.
Murtagh: wow that is the best logic I have ever heard.
Matthew: yeah, I'm-
Oromis: Matthew: come quickly, Eragon is constipated!
Matthew: What, that could, like, kill the plastic wrap!
Oromis: I know, that is why you must make him un-constipated!
Matthew: OK, Eragon is now not-*POOF*
Oromis: What?
Galbatorix: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have transported Matthew to my castle, where he will never escape! Now Eragon will never be un-constipated, and the plastic wrap will die! For it was I who planted the Pie! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Murtagh: You put the pie there!?! You fiend!
Galbatorix: I know! oh, and your father called, he said he wants to see you, something about kicking the living daylights out of you, you can call him back at this number.*hands Murtagh a slip of paper*
Murtagh: Wha?
Galbatorix goes *poof*
Oromis: Hmmmm….
Murtagh: Wha?
Oromis: Galbatortix's poof was all in lowercase letters…
Murtagh: Wha?
Oromis: That means his power is not as strong as usual… he must have used a lot to move Matthew to his castle…
Murtagh: Wha?
Oromis: This means that we have a chance to save Matthew, and save the plastic wrap!
Murtagh: what about Eragon?
Oromis: oh, and, I guess Eragon as well.
Murtagh: Then OFF WE GO!
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A/n and that's just the beginning. if you liked that, just wait, there is so much more I have in mind. If you didn't like it, then go away.
next part in aprox. 1 week!
p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. aren't ~'s awesome?