Like I Never Broke Her Heart, a law and order: svu fanfic

A/N: Ok, so the first thing I thought of when I heard this song was EO songfic. It just fit it perfectly. I actually got out of my bed and outlined it at 1 in the morning even though I had school the next day. That's how badly I wanted to write this songfic. So, the song is called Like I Never Broke Her Heart by Randy Owens and it's amazing lol.

Disclaimer: I don't own law and order or the song obviously ...

Elliot watched the woman he loved in the arms of another man. This man loved her as well, he could never doubt that. In the rare times he actually talked to this man, he saw the passion in his eyes. Elliot knew, however, that his eyes held ten times as much of the passion as this man's did. He could, however, doubt the fact that she loved him as much as she said she did. All those nights they spent together made him wonder, made him doubt. He knew she loved him; he knew there was something about them together, but Elliot knew better.

Look at her with you
Her eyes are shining she looks brand new
Last time I saw her she was falling apart
She was crying at the Fleetwood fair
Now she's laughing and tossing her hair
Cause she loves you like I never broke her heart

Elliot watched her as she tilted her head back and laughed as he twirled her around the dance floor. He watched as her brown hair whipped around her head as she spun and he caught a glimpse of her diamond ring when it sparkled in the low lights and the dropping feeling in his stomach came back. He knew what the ring meant; she would be off-limits to everyone, including himself. He thought back to the first time they crossed that invisible line that taunted them endlessly the entire ten years they knew each other.

Flashback ...

"Do you wanna get some Chinese?" he asked, as they packed up and shut down for the night.

Olivia thought for a minute. She didn't have anything planned. It was either dinner with Elliot or a date with an unappetizing tv dinner that had been sitting in her freezer for the past two weeks. "Sure," She replied, turning off her computer monitor and standing up.

The two fell into sync as they walked without realizing it. Elliot secretly gave her the once-over as he walked, not letting her see. He got into the car and drove to their usual Chinese restaurant, placing their order as he drove. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence for them, especially lately. The nights had been cold and lonely for the both of them since his divorce and her last break-up. They sought comfort and familiarity in each other. Olivia reached to unbuckle her seatbelt as they pulled into the parking lot.

Elliot's hand hovered over hers without touching it. "No, that's ok. I'll get it."

Olivia just nodded and sat back in her seat. She shivered and pulled her coat tighter around her body as he opened the door. It was unusually cold and rainy for March and she was grateful that most of their day had been spent inside the warm confinements of the precinct. She rested her head back and closed her eyes, waiting for Elliot to come back. She didn't have to wait long until she felt the cold air blast in from the driver's door. She opened her eyes and watched him climb in. "That was fast."

"I was the only person in there," He replied as he put the car in drive and started to pull out of the parking lot. "Your place or mine?"

The statement, in any other context would be sexual, sinful even, but here it was routine. "Yours. My place is a mess."

Elliot nodded and chuckled. "And I'm the bachelor."

Olivia smiled and turned her head back to the window, trying to ignore the twinge of pain in her stomach as the smell of the food reached her nose. The drive to his house was quiet, but not uncomfortable. It was a drive they were both used to by now and it was hard not to fall into the same pattern day after day. They pulled into a parking space in front of his house and Olivia pulled her coat closer to her in anticipation of the cold that she knew would hit her the second she opened the door.

She shivered slightly as she opened the door and bravely stepped out into the icy wind. They quickly walked into his apartment building and took the stairs to warm themselves up. Elliot unlocked his door and ushered Olivia inside. Olivia shrugged off her coat and threw it over the back of the couch and sat down.

She turned on the tv as Elliot went to grab plates, napkins, drinks, and utensils for them. The only thing that was on that was even remotely interesting to watch was MythBusters. Olivia didn't mind, she secretly loved the show and watched it whenever she had a free moment. Olivia opened the bag of food and helped herself.

They ate in silence while watching Adam and Jamie experiment with Pirate myths and Grant and Kari bury Tori alive. It was a comfortable silence that was only interrupted by simultaneously, but coincidentally, putting their plates down. They looked at each other and laughed. They looked at each other for a second longer than was necessary until Olivia turned back to the tv. They settled back into the couch and continued to watch the show. Without paying attention, they slowly shifted closer and closer to each other until Olivia's head lay on his chest and Elliot's arm was wrapped protectively around her. The show ended and they were both aware of their positions. Olivia was the first one to move. "I should get going," She said, as she looked for her shoes that she wasn't even aware were off.

"It's late," He said, sitting up and putting his hand on her arm. "I don't want you driving so late."

"It's ok, El," She insisted, her voice softer than she wanted.

"Liv, I'm not letting you leave," Elliot replied. "Besides, you don't have a car, remember?"

Olivia sighed quietly and sat back on the couch as another episode of MythBusters came on. She felt Elliot's arm slide around her shoulder and stopped paying attention to the tv as his hand stroked her arm. It brought goosebumps to her skin. "Are you cold?" He asked when he felt her shiver.

She just shook her head. Olivia slowly turned her head to look at him and it was the first time in a long time that she actually looked at him. Sure, she saw him everyday but that doesn't mean that she was actually looking at him, taking in his every feature. She was starting to take him for granted. She watched as his serene blue eyes flickered from the tv to scan over her face. She noticed the bags under his eyes, which were so prominent in the early months after his divorce, were gone now. "What?" he asked quietly, his lips curling into a grin.

Olivia shook her head. "I was just realizing that I haven't looked at you in a long time."

Elliot furrowed his brow. "What do you mean? You see me everyday."

"I know, I know," She said, shaking her head and lowering her eyes. "But it's not like we really look at each other everyday."

"Speak for yourself," Elliot muttered so quietly, Olivia wasn't sure he had actually said it.

It wasn't until his lips were pressed against hers that she realized that he had actually said it. She was shocked but reacted quickly. She didn't know what was going on, but she wasn't objecting to it. Her hands reached up and wrapped around his neck. Elliot's hands were on her hips and he pulled her so she was straddling him. They pulled away for lack of air and Elliot nuzzled into her neck, kissing and nibbling as he did. Olivia leaned her head back to give him more room, the actuality of the situation still not fully hitting either of them.

Olivia cupped his face in her hands and actually looked at him, "I need you."

Elliot said nothing. He leaned forward to kiss her as he stood up. He carried her to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Olivia reached her arms up to start unbuttoning his shirt. Elliot reached down and grabbed her hands. "In a rush?"

Olivia smirked but tried to continue unbuttoning his shirt. Elliot stopped her once again. "Liv, I need to know this is what you actually want."

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked as she tried again to get his shirt unbuttoned.

"I mean, I need to know this isn't just a one time thing," He replied, pinning her arms above her head.

"No," Olivia said, her eyebrows furrowed. "Of course not, I would never do that."

"I know, Liv," He said, as he unpinned her arms and didn't stop her as she tried once again to unbutton his shirt. "I know."

He slowly inched them up the bed, taking her pants and shirt off as he did. Olivia was busy at work on his belt by the time she noticed she was almost completely unclothed. As she pushed Elliot's pants down over his hips, she felt Elliot's lips close around her left nipple and her hands stopped working. Her brain could think of nothing besides what his mouth was doing.

After several minutes of foreplay and several pleading looks from Olivia, Elliot decided it was time to put her out of her misery. He pulled his own boxers down and kissed his way down to her underwear, pulling them down with his teeth. He came back up to meet her face, kissing her softly as he did. "I need you," Olivia whispered again.

"I know baby," He replied as he positioned himself over her.

He slowly slid into her and pumped several times. He could feel that she was close, very close. Her breathing was rapid and her head was tilted back as she arched her back, giving herself to him. Finally, Olivia reached her peak as did Elliot. He was waiting for her, he wanted it to be about her and only her.

They lay in the mist of the afterglow of sex and Elliot wrapped his arms around her. "Well, 'your place or mine' now seems a lot more sexual."

Elliot laughed and nodded. "Definitely."

End Flashback ....

Elliot, lost in his own thoughts, didn't notice Cragen walking up and standing beside him. Don watched him, knowing he was remembering the past several months that had, undoubtedly, changed their lives. They tried to keep their relationship a secret from him, but it was obvious. The tension was gone from their relationship and something great replaced it, if only for a while. Their fights during that time, though just as intense, were resolved faster than before and, while he was grateful for that, he was uneasy about how long it would last. He remembered the first time he realized they took that next step in their relationship.

Flashback ...

Olivia was fuming as she stormed out of the squad room and they all but Elliot jumped when the cribs door slammed shut. Cragen sighed and walked back into his office, looking at his watch as he did. 9:42 AM, it was going to be a long day with his two best detectives at their throats. He watched from his window as Elliot calmly walked up the stairs to the cribs.

"What the fuck was that about?" Olivia demanded once Elliot shut the door to the cribs.

Elliot had just undermined her authority by advising Cragen to let the perp go after Olivia said she had a bad feeling about him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to keep his anger in check.

"You know what I mean, you son of a bitch," She snapped, getting in his face. "You completely disregarded my opinion and told Cragen to let Adams go."

"He doesn't have anything to do with the rape, Olivia." He said, as he tried to step back from her.

"You don't know that," She said, once again closing the gap between them.

Elliot didn't say anything. His eyes were on her lips and hers on his. Their close proximity allowed them to feel each other's breath. Olivia's breath hitched in her throat and she tried not to make it obvious. Olivia's eyes fluttered back up to meet Elliot's and they looked at each other, much longer than they had to. Elliot reached his hands up to cup her face and kissed her lightly on the lips, "I'm sorry," He whispered. "I love you."

Olivia closed her eyes and sighed, his kiss and his words had a power over her. Those three words were the best thing he, or anyone else, had ever said to her, and he knew it. They stood there for several minutes until Olivia took a step back and cleared her throat, running a hand through her hair. Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She closed her mouth and walked by him, her arm grazing his as she did. Olivia walked out of the cribs and leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and composing herself. She straightened her shirt and walked down into the squad room like nothing had happened.

Cragen watched as she walked out of the cribs in a matter of minutes. He knew then that all of the sexual tension had been released, it was the only explanation. It was the only way their feud could have been resolved so quickly and so quietly.

End Flashback ...

"It's for the best," Cragen murmured, just loud enough for Elliot to hear him. Elliot's gaze lowered to the ground in front of him as he noticed Cragen beside him for the first time. He wondered if Cragen really believed that; he wondered if it was really true.

Elliot looked up and saw her looking at him. He tried his best attempt at a smile and avoided eye contact. Even from across the room, he was afraid that she would be able to see through him; see that his happiness for her was all just a front. He thought she would see the pain and the regret that he knew was etched into every feature of his face, more importantly his eyes, and he didn't want her to know. He didn't want her to feel sorry for him or to second-guess her choice. He knew she was happy. If she was as happy as she possibly could be, he didn't know but he knew she was happy on some level and that was good enough for him. He turned around and went to refill his drink, which he hardly touched, while thinking back to the night that ended it all.

Flashback ...

Olivia got home earlier than she had expected. She took a day off and went shopping with Casey, who had also taken the day off. Casey got called in unexpectedly for a warrant and that left Olivia to fend for herself. After an hour, she got bored and decided that she would go home and surprise Elliot.

She walked in the door and didn't call Elliot's name, she wasn't expecting him home for another hour or so. She walked over to the couch and took her shoes off while pushing the button to hear the messages.

"Hey, Elliot. It's Sam," A seductive voice rang through the silent apartment and Olivia's head shot up. "Last night was fun, we should do it again sometime, sometime soon. Call me."

Olivia's mind was on overdrive. To think she was going to surprise Elliot with dinner and sex tonight, not like he didn't get that every night. She re-laced her shoes and sat back on the couch, not bothering to turn the tv on.

After an hour, she heard the key in the door but she didn't budge. "Hey baby," His voice rang through the apartment.

She heard him putting his gun, badge, and keys down on the end table by the door. She heard his feet pad over to the couch. "Oh there you are," He said and kissed her forehead.

He looked at her sitting stance and realized something was wrong. "What's the matter, baby?"

Olivia said nothing, she didn't even blink. The only movement was of her arm reaching over and pressing the button for the messages. Sam's voice rang through the apartment once again. Olivia watched Elliot intently, waiting for him to say anything. Instead, he turned a strange shade of green.

"It's not what it sounds like, Liv," He stuttered.

"Well, what is it then?" She asked, the anger evident in her voice. "I thought you were having drinks with an old friend last night."

"I was," He answered quickly. "Sam was an old friend from the academy."

"Hmm," Olivia sighed as she turned away and decided she was blowing it way out of proportion.

There was a sudden knock on the door and Olivia padded over to grab it. She opened it without looking through the peephole, something she rarely ever did. Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in the appearance of the person standing before her. She was a tall brunette with long curled locks of hair. She was wearing a black lingerie nightgown and black strappy heels. She was half covered by a trench coat which she was in the process of taking off as she switched the bottle of wine to her other hand. "Oh, hello. I'm Sam, is Elliot home?"

Olivia, momentarily stunned, said nothing at first, but Sam didn't seem phased by it. "Oh you must be Olivia, Elliot's told me so much about you."

Olivia just nodded and tried to get her mind to form a coherent sentence. "May I ask what this is regarding?"

"Oh, at least I know it isn't obvious," She joked and seemed embarrassed for the first time. "I was going to take him up on his offer."

Olivia's heart dropped. She was his booty call. Olivia nodded, a twisted grin on her face. "You know what, I think he's waiting for you. I'm going to just go get out of your way so you guys can have some space."

Sam nodded and started to walk in as Olivia walked out of the apartment. "Tell him I said to give his old friend an extra hug for me."

Olivia shut the door behind her and raced down the stairs before Elliot could even comprehend where she had gone.

End Flashback ...

Sure, Elliot had explained it to her. Sam had misread his invitation for dinner and took it as something much more than it was supposed to be. Olivia never gave him a second chance, she told him all the love was gone and that if he couldn't even admit to Sam that he was in a relationship, then there was no point in being in one. She told him to go back to Sam and, even though the thought of them together kept her up at night, told him to be happy with her.

Like I never said goodbye
Never made her cry
Never told a lie, crossed the line or pushed too hard
I never slammed the door
Or made her walk the floor
I wonder where I went when I went too far
She loves you like I never broke her heart

At the time I didn't know
Just what I had til she let go
Of me and fell right into your arms
So I'll turn away if she looks at me
I've done enough she's finally free
yes she loves you like I never broke her heart

She scoffed at how the word happy didn't seem to be in his vocabulary anymore. It wasn't an emotion he felt so it wasn't an emotion he spoke of often. Olivia told him that he could have her at work and that was it. She wasn't ready just yet to let him back in and told him not to hold his breath. He knew she wasn't a very forgiving person, but he had always thought he would be the exception to that rule. When she started dating Greg, her now fiancé, he was so sure it would be over in a matter of weeks, days even. When they made it past the first month he was shocked to say the least, and after that his amazement grew with each day. Greg was an investment banker, hardly the type he would peg for Olivia. He couldn't deny, however, that those months were the first time he had seen her actually smile since their breakup.

I've never seen her look better than she looks tonight
I don't know what you do but you're doing something right

Elliot gulped the drink he had in his hand and ordered another as he sat down at the bar. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his back. He turned slightly to see Olivia standing next to him. "Hey, what are you doing over here?"

"Getting a drink," He replied with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. "Why aren't you dancing? This is your engagement party after all."

Olivia laughed and it was like music to his ears. "I know, I know. I decided to come and get a drink and talk to you."

Elliot nodded and gulped his second drink. "About what?"

"Since when do I need a reason to talk to my partner?" She asked innocently as she ordered her drink and sat down in the available stool next him.

"Since that ring got on your finger," He replied almost bitterly without thinking.

Olivia sighed, "He's a good guy, Elliot. He really is."

Elliot nodded and mustered up a fake smile. "Of course he is, you wouldn't be with him if he wasn't."

Olivia sighed again and thanked the bartender for her drink. "I wish you wouldn't be so bitter. How's Sam doing?"

Elliot shrugged and noted the change in her tone as she said Sam's name. "I haven't seen her since that night."

"Who have you been seeing?" She asked, her voice softer than her previous question.

"No one," He answered as he got yet another drink from the bartender.

Olivia nodded and watched him as he drank his entire glass in one big sip. "Well," He sighed and put a twenty on the table. "I think I'm going to head out, it's been a long day."

Olivia nodded. She wanted to object but she had no logical reason to keep him there. "I'll walk you out."

"No, that's ok. I think I can find the way," He said as he got to his feet and headed towards the door. "Besides, I think Greg's waiting for you."

Olivia didn't miss the venom dripping from Greg's name as it left his mouth. Olivia looked back over her shoulder and held up her index finger and turned back to Elliot. "He can wait."

Elliot scoffed and continued walking, "What a nice fiancée you are."

Olivia knew it was most likely the alcohol talking but it still hurt nonetheless. She walked him outside and they stood awkwardly in silence. Elliot sighed and rubbed his face, "Well, I should let you get back. Greg will be wondering where you ran off to."

Olivia nodded but didn't meet his eyes. "Yeah, I should."

Elliot nodded, cleared his throat, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, I guess I'll see you at work."

"El," She stopped him before he had a chance to fully turn around. "I'm sorry things aren't ... aren't different right now."

Elliot put his hands up to tell her to stop. "Don't. You're happy, that's all that matters."

Elliot turned and walked away and Olivia, though she wanted to object, didn't. She had nothing more to say that could convince him. She felt a twinge of pain in her chest as she watched him turn the corner, not looking back once. She felt an arm snake around her waist and lips kiss her neck. She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Everything ok?"

Olivia nodded and looked back over her shoulder, "Yeah, I hope so."

"Come on, it's getting cold."

Olivia nodded and let Greg take her inside the warm hall where all of their friends awaited them, all but one.

Elliot walked back around the corner just a second too late. As he was walking away, he realized how much he wanted Olivia to believe him that she should be happy. He slowed to a stop as he looked at the door and saw no one standing there waiting for him. He smiled a humorless and bitter smile as he realized he got exactly what he wanted. She did believe him, or so it seemed, when she went back inside to Greg instead of waiting or going after him. In his mind, her mind was made up and in her mind, his mind was made up.

Suddenly, Elliot was thrust forward. "Oh, my god! Are you ok, sir?"

Elliot looked at the couple standing in front of him, and the man who bumped into him, now and half nodded. He was almost speaking to himself, "Yeah, I hope so."

Like I never said goodbye
Never made her cry
Never told a lie, crossed the line or pushed too hard
I never slammed the door
Or made her walk the floor I wonder where I went when I went too far She loves you like I never broke her heart

Saw her somewhere the other day
But she just smiled and looked away
Like I never broke her heart.

Review Please :) !