Chapter 1

Shawn woke up that morning the same way he woke up every morning for the past three months. He was back with his parents and when his mother and father showed up at Turner's house Shawn couldn't believe it. Turner and Shawn had just been talking about whether or not Turner should sign the guardian papers. They were both worried about making their arrangement permanent. It was a big step for both of them. Turner had never been responsible for someone else before, he never even had a pet. It was a huge step for him to be responsible for someone else. He had never in his life wanted to help someone else, or be there for someone like he did with Shawn. Turner was used to being on his own and doing his own thing. He wasn't used to having to take care of someone. Sure Shawn could handle himself, but still he was a fifteen year old with a lot of problems. His own father abandoned him at the Mathews' doorstep. His mother took off after having enough of Chet and just abandoned Shawn to be with his father. Shawn had a lot of problems from growing up and from the lack of parenting. The only stable people in his life had been the Mathews and even they had a hard time with Shawn. Turner knew it wasn't going to be easy and at times it wasn't, but they had done it. That day when Shawn's parents showed up at the apartment Shawn was thrilled and Turner couldn't help, but be worried and a little sad about it. Turner knew that Shawn would be going back to his parents now and Turner wanted to be happy for Shawn, but he couldn't be. He was worried about them abandoning Shawn again and leaving him more broken then he already was. It didn't take long to pack Shawn's things up and then they were gone.

That had been three months ago and ever since Shawn's life had been slowly going back downhill. When they first got back to being a family everything was going great. They were eating dinner together, watching tv together, hanging out and just having a good time. Everything was normal like it was supposed to be. After that first month and a half everything started to slip. The fighting would start. Chet used to drink a lot and ever since he had been searching for Virna he had slowed down. Now that he had his wife back he was drinking more and more now. Growing up his mother almost never drank and now with Chet drinking she started to drink more and more as well. With them both drinking now, they would argue more and Shawn was always stuck in the middle of it. It started off slow just small arguments here and there. Sometimes his mother or father would be upset and yell at Shawn for something simple, like him not washing the dishes or being late. As the last month and a half had gone by the arguments got more and more. Now it wasn't just when they were drunk it was all the time when they were in the same room. They started to yell more at Shawn over things that weren't even his fault. Sometimes when they were both drunk his mother would throw things at his father. Needless to say the trailer that Shawn was supposed to call home was getting very hurtful. Shawn wasn't a stranger to arguments; he had been in his fair share of them over the years. He was the "troubled townie" as people liked to call him. It wasn't a secret that Shawn was a troubled teen from a troubled past. He grew up in a trailer park and he had fought to survive each and every day growing up from the gangs in the park. There had been a few times when Shawn was at a cross roads where he could turn down the wrong path or he could continue staying on the right path. If it wasn't for Cory Shawn knew that he very could have went down the wrong path and could be in Juvi right now.

Shawn could hear his parents arguing once again and Shawn couldn't even bring himself to care as to why they were. Shawn looked over at the clock radio in his room and saw that it was only six in the morning. Shawn did know one thing he didn't want to be here so he got up to get ready for the day. If he left soon he could be at the Mathews' in time for breakfast. It wouldn't be the first time that Shawn had crashed a meal at the Mathews' and they always allowed him to crash it. Over the years since he had known Cory his parents had always taken him in. Shawn never knew why and was too afraid to ask. Shawn grabbed his clothes and headed out quietly to the bathroom so he could shower and get ready for school. School was the one thing that never changed in Shawn's life and Shawn found himself being more and more thankful for that each and every day. Monday through Friday Shawn would go to school for six hours a day and be able to just be himself and not have to worry about anything. His grades were horrible, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He knew he wouldn't be going to college so Shawn didn't see the point in trying in school. For him it was just a place to hide from all of the yelling. Shawn took a quick shower, because he didn't want to be there for very long. Not even thirty minutes later Shawn was ready for school and ready to leave. Shawn headed out to the front door so he could leave the trailer and the yelling behind. Shawn tried to sneak out without drawing any attention to himself, but his father was always willing to put his mother's anger onto him.

"Boy, where are you going?" Chet asked annoyed and angered as him and Virna stood in the kitchen.

"School." Shawn answered back with a slight attitude to his voice.

Shawn knew he shouldn't have shown any attitude, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't even seven in the morning and he was woken up to his parents arguing again. Shawn could see that they hadn't gone to bed yet and he was annoyed and upset over it.

"Don't talk to me like that boy. Show me some respect now." Chet all, but yelled at Shawn.

"When's that report card of yours coming?" Virna asked.

"I don't know in a few days." Shawn said softly.

Shawn was a little worried about his report card. His mother had been asking about it for a month now, when before she never cared. Shawn knew his report card wouldn't be good at all. He would be surprised if there was more than F's and D's on it. Shawn wouldn't say he was stupid; he just never tried in school. School didn't interest him in that way. It was all about proper grammar, proper spelling, proper this, proper that. Shawn was anything, but proper and he couldn't get his mind into it. He really just didn't see the point. Besides even when he did try he still failed.

"You better not have failed anything or so help me God." Virna didn't finish that sentence and Shawn could hear the threat on the end of it.

"I gotta get to school." Shawn said as he headed his way towards the door, but he could hear his father yelling at him.

Shawn ignored him and just kept going. He didn't want to hear any more about how useless he was and how stupid he was. Shawn just wanted to get away and go someplace where he felt safe and that was the Mathews. It was a little bit of a walk to get to where Cory lived. They did live in different worlds that never were supposed to have connected. Cory always had a great life with a great family. He could tell his parents anything and they would never kick him out or say mean things to him. They would just tell him that it would be alright and that they would work through it. Shawn never had parents like that. He was always afraid to go home and tell his parents if he did something or if something was wrong. With Turner he didn't have to worry about that, because he didn't do anything wrong. There wasn't anything he had to tell him or try to hide. With Turner he just went to school, hung out with Cory and then went home. He even made sure to be home for dinner most nights. Turner was a much better cook then his mother and father were. With his mother's cooking most of the time Shawn didn't eat. In the year that he had lived with Turner he had gained thirty pounds, which at the time he didn't even know he needed the extra weight. Now just three months of being back in the trailer with his parents he had lost fifteen pounds. Shawn never noticed how thin he used to be until he started to live with Turner.

There were times in the last three months that Shawn had missed living at Turner's apartment. It was small and crowded and they got into little spats here and there, because of that, but still Shawn missed it. He missed the connection and friendship that him and Turner had. It wasn't like his friendship with Cory and he didn't know what it was like, but he missed it a lot recently. Turner would push him in his school work at times, but he never got on his case about his grades or his goals. Sure there were hints here and there of the conversation, but he never pushed it. Shawn didn't know what his beliefs were or what his goals were. The truth was he really didn't think about goals, because he didn't see himself being able to be something. He couldn't stop thinking about how he would just be another townie stuck in a meaningless job going nowhere. Shawn had a lot of confidence and self- esteem when it came to women or people, but in himself he didn't really have any. Most of the time he felt like he didn't even know who he was. He always felt like part of him was missing, like there was this hole in the center of his body that everyone could see. He thought what he was missing was his family being a family, but now he wasn't so sure, because now he had never felt more alone.

Shawn walked into the Mathews' side yard and looked in through the side door. He didn't go in right away he just looked through the glass and he could see Morgan and Alan sitting down at the table talking. He could see the back of Amy in the kitchen making breakfast. Shawn knew that Cory and Eric would be upstairs in their room fighting for the bathroom. Shawn figured it was just after seven and the house was awake with people getting ready for school and work. Shawn went over and knocked on the glass as he entered the house. Shawn put on a smile and tried to make it seem like nothing was wrong.

"Good morning Mathews."

"Morning Shawn." Alan said.

"Good morning Shawn. Have you eaten yet?" Amy asked with a smile on her face and lightness to her voice.

"I have not."

"Sit I'll make you some breakfast. Cory is still getting ready." Amy said.

Shawn gave a nod and headed over to the table where Morgan and Alan were sitting.

"So Shawn you're up early." Alan asked.

"Ya couldn't sleep. Set the alarm wrong last night and once that thing goes off I can't get back to sleep. I figured I would go to school with Cory."

It always amazed Shawn how easy it was for him to lie to people. He had been doing it his whole life. He would put on a smile and say that everything was fine even when it wasn't. What Shawn forgot too often was that the Mathews weren't just everyday people. They knew Shawn; they had seen him grow up alongside their son. Setting his alarm wrong once was to be expected, five times in the last three months was not normal for Shawn. Alan and Amy shared a look and they both knew that something was bothering Shawn and they also knew they would probably never get it out of him. Shawn wasn't like Cory. Cory had tells and couldn't keep a secret to save his soul. Shawn was different he could hide something bothering him for months on months without anyone finding out what was wrong. Shawn didn't have tells and that came from a life of having to build walls around himself to protect himself from all different kinds of hurt. They didn't get to say anything, because Cory and Eric came running down the stairs.

"Shawn buddy hey. What brings you buy?" Cory asked as he went to sit down next to Shawn.

"Stupid alarm clock didn't work." Shawn said in a dismissive tone like it was nothing.

"You really gotta get a new one. You getting up on time for school is going to start scaring the teachers." Cory joked like it was nothing for Shawn to be up again this early.

"Oh that will easily be fixed by me sleeping through their class. Problem solved."

Amy came over to the table with some plates of food for everyone. She placed them down on the table and got the rest of them before sitting down herself. The conversation at breakfast was light and easy. It was a pretty normal morning for them. It wasn't the first time that Shawn was there with them for breakfast or any other meal for that matter. Cory and Shawn had been friends since they were six and over the course of nine years they had gotten very close. They were almost inseparable so Shawn being there really wasn't a big deal. Alan and Amy were curious as to why in the last three months Shawn had been there more recently. When he was with Turner for that year they didn't see Shawn for breakfast, a few dinners, but not in the morning. Now that he was back at the trailer park Shawn was here more and more again. Alan and Amy didn't like that Shawn was back with his parents. They both left him and didn't even think twice about it. That wasn't what someone like Shawn needed. He needed stability and parents who would be there for him. That was one of the main reasons why they never turned him away. They really were the closest thing to parents that Shawn had. Once breakfast was done all the kids went upstairs to finish getting ready for school. Shawn stayed down there at the table to wait for Cory. Alan and Amy were in kitchen cleaning up after breakfast. Shawn couldn't help, but watch them working together and not fighting with each other. Shawn couldn't figure out why they were so different compared to his parents. Over the last nine years he had never seen them fight not once.

"Do you guys ever fight?" Shawn couldn't help, but ask. The question was out before he could stop it.

Amy and Alan looked at Shawn and they were starting to figure out why Shawn had been around more. They stopped what they were doing and gave Shawn their full attention.

"Of course we do. All married couples argue." Amy said.

"I've never seen or heard you argue in nine years." Shawn said slightly confused.

"We don't fight in front of the kids. We feel that they shouldn't have to hear or see that. How are your parents doing Shawn?" Alan asked.

"They're great. It's great having them back together." Shawn said, but they could hear he wasn't so sincere about it.

"Do they fight in front of you?" Amy asked.

"No, sometimes I hear them, but it's a small trailer. I can hear the toilet flushing. All married couples argue you said right."

"They do, but your parents shouldn't be arguing in front of you or around you. That's not fair to you." Amy said.

"It's not a big deal. I just noticed that I never heard you guys argue." Shawn said trying to blow this conversation off.

"Shawn you know we love you. If you ever need to talk or need a place to sleep at night you know you can always come here." Amy said.

"Ya I know. Everything is great." Shawn said with a smile, but Amy and Alan didn't believe him.

Cory came down the stairs ready for school and Shawn was thankful that it would end the conversation. Shawn grabbed his book bag and they headed out after saying good bye. Eric went after them a few minutes later and Morgan shortly after that. Amy and Alan waited for when all of the kids were out of the house before they spoke about what Shawn had said.

"Do you think Shawn's parents are arguing a lot in front of him or around him?" Amy asked.

"I don't know. He hasn't been here for breakfast in a year. Now that he is back with his parents he's been here five times. I don't mind Shawn being here and I like that he feels like he can be here, but I don't like that once he is back with his parents, he's back here. Shawn's never set his alarm wrong once in the nine years we have known him. Now in the past three months it's happened five times. Maybe their arguing is waking him up." Alan said trying to make some sense of this.

"Should we tell Jonathan about this?" Amy asked.

"We probably should. Just so he can keep an eye on him."

Amy went over to the phone on the wall and dialed Turner's number. There was no answer and Amy didn't bother to leave a message. She knew that there was another way to get a message to Turner. She hung up the phone and turned her attention back to her husband.

"There was no answer. Let's go speak to George."

They both went out the side door and over to Mr. Feeney's house. Alan knocked and waited for an answer. They knew he would be home, because he didn't leave until eight for school. Mr. Feeney had a class second period so first period he stayed home to do some work before he went in. After a few moments he answered the door.

"Alan, Amy what can I do for you this morning?" Mr. Feeney asked all dressed in his school attire.

"We were actually hoping you could give Jonathan a message for us." Amy said.

"Well of course, but you do know there is this invention called the telephone." Mr. Feeney said.

"We called him, but he didn't answer and we figured he would get the message from you faster." Alan explained.

"Is everything alright?" Mr. Feeney asked with some concern now.

"We're worried about Shawn." Amy said.

"Well we're all a little worried about Shawn. Is there perhaps a new reason?"

"He came by this morning before breakfast." Amy said as if that explained everything.

"I'm not sure I follow." Mr. Feeney said with confusion in his voice and on his face.

"For the past year that Shawn spent with Jonathan he was never here in the mornings. He came by every now and then for dinner when Jonathan was on a date. He's been back with his parents for three months and he's been here for breakfast five times. Each time he said he miss-set his alarm and it went off early and couldn't get back to sleep." Alan explained further.

"Growing up Shawn used to come by for breakfast every few weeks. He stopped when he was living with Jonathan and now he's back with his parents and back to his old routine." Amy added.

"Alright, but the trailer park is closer to your home than Mr. Turner's apartment. I don't see any need for added concern."

"This morning after breakfast when the kids were getting ready upstairs, Alan and I were doing the dishes when Shawn asked if we were argue." Amy started.

"He wouldn't say it, but apparently his parents have been arguing a lot either in front of him or around him." Alan finished.

"And you're concerned about what effect this might have on him?" Mr. Feeney asked.

"Of course. We don't want to see Shawn going back to his old ways. He was doing great with Jonathan. He wasn't running around the streets and getting into trouble. Now that he's back with his parents he's starting to go back to his old ways." Amy said.

"He hasn't changed at all in school. I've never noticed a problem with him. He's lost some weight, but he's walking around a lot more. The trailer park is further from school than Mr. Turner's apartment. I'll let Mr. Turner know and he'll keep an eye out on him. I'm sure Shawn is fine. His parents over the years have broken up and gotten back together many times. I'm sure everything is fine, but I will pass the message along and I'll keep an eye on him." Mr. Feeney said.

"Thank-you. We just don't want to see Shawn getting into trouble again. He's a good kid with crappy parents. We don't want to see him slipping through the cracks." Alan said.

"I'm afraid he slipped through the cracks a long time ago Alan. I've known Shawn since he was in the first grade. He tried back then in school. He tried until he reached the sixth grade. Too many people told him he wasn't good enough and wouldn't go anywhere, so he stopped trying. Now he's in the tenth grade and after this year only has two more years of high school. As a teacher I failed Shawn a long time ago. He's a smart young man, but he just can't get passed the stereotype and what people have said to him." Mr. Feeney said sadly.

"You've only failed him, if you give up on him George. Shawn's a smart kid, it might take him a little longer to understand, but he's a smart kid. He just needs some confidence that he could be something more than his family is." Alan said.

"I don't know what to do about Shawn anymore, but I only have the rest of this year and two more to figure it out. I'll pass the message along to Mr. Turner and we'll let you know if something happens. I must be getting to school now though." Mr. Feeney said.

"Thanks George." Alan said.

"Thank-you." Amy said.

"It's not a problem."

Alan and Amy went back over to their house and Alan started to get ready for work.

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At lunch time Mr. Feeney went into the cafeteria and sat down at the table with Eli and Jonathan. This was the first time Mr. Feeney had all day to speak with Turner and he wanted to make sure that both teachers knew to keep an eye on Shawn. Mr. Feeney wasn't too worried about him. Over the years Shawn had seen his parents break-up and get back together, so he wasn't too worried about him. By now Shawn was more than used to it. Still he didn't like knowing that Shawn's parents were arguing where he could see or hear them. Mr. Feeney was a little more than old school people would say and he just didn't believe in parents fighting in front of their children. Children shouldn't have to see that. Mr. Feeney sat down at the table.

"Mr. Williams, Mr. Turner."

"Mr. Feeney." Eli said.

"Hey George." Turner said with a smile.

"I have a message for you Mr. Turner from the Mathews. They are worried about Shawn."

"Why?" Turner asked feeling a slight worry coming over him.

Shawn hadn't lived with him for three months, but he couldn't help to still feel responsible for him. He didn't like that Shawn was back with his parents. He didn't think it was a good fit. They just weren't responsible and they didn't seem like they cared about what was in Shawn's best interest. When Virna ran off Chet shouldn't have gone after her, especially for a year. He just completely abandoned his son on the Mathews' doorstep, which wasn't fair to them. They had three kids already and adding Shawn was a lot. He wasn't an easy kid. He raised himself practically so he was used to doing his own thing. Shawn was a troubled teen and everyone knew it. He had a lot of potential he just never could see it himself and that was one of the most frustrating things Turner had to deal with. Shawn just couldn't see it. He thought he would always be nothing more than some dumb townie and Turner couldn't get him to see otherwise.

"He was over there this morning just after seven. He had breakfast with them."

"That's the cause for concern? A teenager eating?" Eli asked.

"Apparently in the three months that he has been back with his parents; that was the fifth time he had been there that early. Each time he said that he miss-set his alarm clock and couldn't get back to sleep." Mr. Feeney continued.

"Well that's a lie. Shawn never miss-sets his alarm and he can always get back to sleep. So what was the real reason?" Turner asked.

"He wouldn't say, but when he was alone with Alan and Amy he did ask if they ever argue. Apparently, his parents have been arguing a lot and it's either in front of him or where he can hear them. Amy and Alan are worried about what effect it might have on Shawn. They don't want him slipping back into his old ways. There was a point in the seventh grade where Shawn could have gone either way. They don't want Shawn to go down the wrong path, because he's back with his parents." Mr. Feeney finished.

"Well he seemed fine in my class today. He slept right through it like he always does." Eli said.

"He seemed fine with me today. I'll keep an eye on him I have him before the end of the day again. I'll talk to him and see how everything is going. I don't like him living there. I wished I would have signed those guardianship papers sooner otherwise they couldn't have been able to take him right back. I'd have a say in it. I'll keep a close eye on him and see if I can get him to open up to me. That's the problem, Shawn lived with me for a year and he never opened up about anything. He just blew it all off. He doesn't know how to trust people and the only people he does trust, are the Mathews' and that's to a certain extent. Cory knew Shawn for nine years before he found out he had an older brother." Turner said.

"Mr. Hunter is definitely not one to share, but never the less we need to keep an eye on him. I've been trying to get him to graduate high school since he was in the sixth grade. I don't want him to lose everything now when he's only a couple years away."

"Do you really think he'll graduate? He needs to have the grades to do it or he's just going to keep repeating the tenth grade." Eli said.

"Yes well, we need to make him realise that." Mr. Feeney said sadly.

"I'll talk to him and see what I can do. I just got to figure out what he's interested in besides girls. If I can find a book that would interest him, maybe I can get him to do an assignment." Turner said.

"I don't think he has an interest in anything." Eli said.

"Mr. Hunter has interests it's just a matter of getting him to talk about them." Mr. Feeney said.

"He lived with you for a year and you don't know of one interest besides girls?" Eli asked.

"No. Shawn's beyond private. He doesn't let anyone in and he doesn't share with you. I could sit there for hours talking to him and in those hours I will have learned nothing. I just need to find a way in."

"Well, let me know when you find one so I can use it. He's a bright young man and I would hate to see him throw it all away." Mr. Feeney said.

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At the end of lunch Shawn went to his next class and Cory started to head to his own class. Turner went over to Cory as he was walking down the hall to speak to him.

"Mr. Mathews, can I have a minute?"

Cory stopped walking and turned his attention to Mr. Turner.

"Sure what can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering, what are Shawn's interests?"

"What do you mean?" Cory asked slightly confused.

"Well what's he like doing for fun? What does he do in his down time?"

"You lived with him for a year and you don't know what he does?"

"No, I got nothing. Shawn doesn't share. I figured you would have a better idea."

"Well girls..."

"Besides girls, girls I got."

"Well, um…"

Cory tried to think of something, but he came up empty. He has known Shawn for nine years and he had no idea what his interests were besides girls. Shawn knew everything about him and yet Cory couldn't even tell you something more than his favorite color and food.

"I have no idea." Cory said sadly.

"You've been best friends since you were six years old. You don't know what his interests are?" Turner asked slightly worried.

"No, I don't. I didn't even know he had a brother until recently. I never realised that before. I guess I don't really know Shawn. I see him every day we're friends, best friends, but I don't know anything personal about him." Cory said with sadness in his voice.

Cory couldn't figure out if it was that Shawn didn't trust him or if he was a bad friend to Shawn all these years.

"Don't blame yourself Shawn's a private person. He doesn't share with people."

The bell rang and Cory was now late.

"I gotta go to class." Cory said sadly.

Cory went down the hallway and into his class. He felt horrible; he didn't even know his best friend. His best friend knew everything about him, yet Cory didn't know much about Shawn. Cory couldn't help, but feel like Shawn didn't trust him with personal information. Cory would never judge him or make fun of him for it. They were best friends they did everything together and yet Cory couldn't help, but feel like his best friend was a complete stranger to him.

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It was the end of the day and the final bell rang. Shawn was about to get up and leave the class with Cory behind him when Turner's voice called out.

"Hey Mr. Hunter, can I have a minute?"

Shawn turned around to face Turner.

"Sure."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Cory said to Shawn.

"Ya for sure."

Once everyone was out of the classroom Shawn sat down on top of one of the student desks in the room.

"What's up Jon?" Shawn asked.

"I just wanted to check in and see how everything was going at home." Turner asked as he sat down on a student desk as well.

"It's great."

"Ya you're parents getting along? Because they have been apart for a year I would imagine there are still some hard feelings about your mom leaving."

"No everything is great. Well the cooking sucks, but my mom never could cook." Shawn joked hoping to make Turner believe him.

It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Turner about his parents arguing with each other and taking it out on him. He did, but how could he? He left Turner's home to be back with his parents he couldn't let him know that it wasn't working. Him and Turner were looking for apartments together and Turner was going to be his guardian. Shawn couldn't let him know that it wasn't working out like he was dreaming it would be. Turner had his life back now that Shawn wasn't in it all the time. He couldn't do that to him again. Turner laughed at Shawn sad excuse of a joke to make him feel more at ease.

"Well you can always cook. You were better at it then I was."

"I do cook at times."

"Shawn I want to talk to you about something pretty important."

"Ok" Shawn said uncertainly.

"What are your dreams?"

"What do you mean? Like when I sleep?" Shawn asked confused.

"No like what's your dream when you grow up? When I was your age I wanted to be a daredevil. Obviously that changed and now I'm a teacher with a Harley. What's your dream?"

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Because it's important to have a dream. In over two years you'll be out of here and onto something else. So what's your dream?"

"I don't have one."

"You don't have a dream?" Turner asked with a slight sadness to his voice.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Dreams don't come true, so why bother having one?"

"Okay let's try this, if you could have any job in this world, what would it be?"

"I don't know."

"Don't you ever think about the future?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Don't really see the point. It's not like I'm going anywhere."

"You could go to college."

"No I can't and you know I can't. I'll never have the grades for college or be able to pass the SATs. Even if I could get in I'll never make it. I'm not smart enough."

"You are smart enough Shawn; you just don't apply yourself to any of the work. You think you're not smart enough so you don't try, but Shawn you are smart enough." Turner said with force in his voice.

He had never heard Shawn talk like this about himself before and Turner couldn't help, but wonder if this was from his parents.

"No I'm not and there isn't a single teacher in this building that believes that." Shawn said back with the same amount of force.

"I'm a teacher in this building and I believe that. Mr. Feeney believes in you or he wouldn't be trying so hard to get you to do the work. He wants you to graduate and go to college and so do I. Shawn I don't know where this is coming from. You are smart you can do this. But you'll never be able to if you keep bringing yourself down."

"Everyone has been telling me I'm an idiot since the first grade. They all can't be wrong. I accepted it a long time ago that I'm not going anywhere. I'll never go anywhere. I'm a townie for life."

"With that attitude you'll never go anywhere. If you believe otherwise then you will. All you have to do is apply yourself to the work and you'll be able to go to college. Stop with all the negative thoughts and you could be anything you want to be Shawn."

"Sure" Shawn said in a dismissive tone.

He stood up and went to head out the door when Turner's voice stopped him.

"What interests you?"

Shawn turned around to look at him.

"Nothing."

"You find nothing interesting besides girls? Really Shawn? Why won't you share with me? We lived together for a year and for that year you never once shared anything personal with me."

"You didn't care then, why do you care now?"

"I cared about you when we lived together."

"You didn't ask me then, why ask now?"

"Because I want to know you. Just because we don't live together doesn't mean I stop caring about you. I want to know you Shawn. I've shared things with you, why can't you share something with me?"

"Because you'll laugh and make fun of me for it. I'm always being judged because of where I live and who my parents are. I don't need anyone else to have another reason to judge me."

"Shawn I've never judged you and I never will. I care about you. I'm one of the handful of people that care about you. I just want to know you. I promise I won't laugh or make jokes about it."

Shawn let out a sigh and leaned against the door frame. He didn't talk about personal things, because people always made fun of him. They made fun of him because of where he lived, how he dressed, how stupid he was. He didn't want people to have any more reasons to make fun of him. He didn't know why Turner cared so much and all of a sudden. They lived together for a year and now that he doesn't live there he wants to know him more. That didn't make any sense to Shawn.

"I don't understand why after living together for a year that you care now? You never asked me before so why now?"

"Because I should have asked. It's been three months since we've lived together and I miss you. Shawn you changed my world and you changed it for the better. Before I was just a single bachelor doing my own thing. You showed me that there was more to life than just work and women. You are the first person I have ever cared about. I made a lot of mistakes with you in the past year. I didn't know what to do and I had to figure it out along the way. My biggest mistake was not getting to know you better. I want to know you."

"So what are your interests then?" Shawn asked expecting Turner not to answer him.

"I like rock and roll music, motorcycles, I like reading different books, and I like playing pool. What are your interests?"

"You're gonna make fun of me for them."

"I promise you I won't. And if I do then you don't ever have to tell me anything again."

Shawn let out a sigh and figured he would only tell Turner one interest.

"I like playing the guitar." Shawn said softly.

"Okay see that's cool. Why haven't I ever heard you play?"

"Because my guitar was traveling all over the country."

"That's really cool Shawn that you play the guitar. When did that start?"

"I was seven and found one that a neighbour threw away. I fixed the strings on it and I still have it."

"Do you play it?"

"No it's too banged up it doesn't work anymore. Sometimes when the community center is empty I'll go there and play theirs. I don't let other people hear me."

"Why not?"

"Because I've only ever taught myself with a book from the library. I'm not good enough or people to hear."

"I think that is really cool Shawn. What else interests you?"

"I told you."

"You told me one. That can't be the only thing that interests you Shawn. Just tell me one more and I'll let ya leave."

Shawn didn't want to tell Turner about his other interest. He only had one more and he didn't know how he would react to it. Shawn always kept this to himself, because it was something that people would never expect from him.

"Come on Shawn. I didn't laugh at you when you told me about playing the guitar. I won't laugh now."

"I like poetry." Shawn said softly.

"Really?" Turner couldn't help, but be surprised by that. Shawn didn't scream a poetry kind of guy.

"See I knew I shouldn't have told you."

"No Shawn I was just surprised. You don't seem like the type to read poetry. Have you ever written any?"

"Sometimes" Shawn said with a shrug.

"I love poetry. I think you can really tell how a person is feeling or thinking through their poetry."

"Ya I guess. I just like the wording and the images through the words."

"You know what you just gave me an idea for an assignment."

"What?"

"You'll find out tomorrow. I might actually have an assignment that you'll want to do."

"Not likely."

"Ya okay we'll see about that tomorrow. Thank-you for telling me Shawn. I know sharing for you isn't easy."

"Ya well don't tell anyone."

"I promise I won't. I'll see you tomorrow Shawn."

"See ya."

Shawn left the classroom and headed home. He didn't really want to go home, but he knew he had to. His mother recently had really been on his case about being late from school. She wanted him home right after school, but Shawn didn't know why. All she did anymore was get drunk with his father and then fight. Shawn didn't know what to do. Before his mother left they would argue every now and then. They never fought like this and his mother never drank this much. Shawn didn't know what to do about any of it. To him this was his normal life, even if he knew that it wasn't supposed to be this way. His time with Turner had taught him that you can have a normal life. That he can go to school and come home without having to worry about fighting or his father being too drunk to do anything. Life with Turner was different and showed Shawn that his life, the life that he thought was normal, wasn't so normal after all. Shawn didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to run away again and go back to being with Turner, but he couldn't do that. Turner had his life back now and Shawn couldn't go back to making it complicated. Turner didn't fight to keep him when his parents came back so he must have been happy to have Shawn gone.

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Cory entered his home through the side door just like he always did. His parents were sitting down at the table going over bills.

"Hey Cor, how was school?" Amy asked.

"It was fine." Cory said with sadness in his voice.

"Cory, did something happen?" Alan asked with concern.

"It's just… it's Shawn."

"Did something happen to Shawn?" Amy asked with concern in her voice.

"No he's fine it's just. Shawn's my best friend. He knows everything about me, but I don't know anything about him. Today Mr. Turner asked me what Shawn's interests were and I don't know any besides girls. I'm Shawn's best friend, but maybe he's not mine. I've known him for nine years and I can't even tell you one of his interests. What kind of friend does that make me?"

"Cory, you are a great friend to Shawn. You are always there for him when he needs you. That speaks a lot louder than what you know about him. Shawn's a private person. He's got a lot of walls built up around him. You can't blame yourself for not knowing everything about him." Amy said.

"Ya, but shouldn't I know what interest him?"

"So ask him. Shawn doesn't just share information. Ask him and he might tell you. Maybe he doesn't have much that interest him right now. It doesn't make you a bad friend. What would make you a bad friend would be all the times Shawn came to you for help and if you pushed him away. Whenever Shawn needed you, you were there for him. That will mean more to Shawn then what you know about him." Alan said.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow at school. I just can't help, but feel like I haven't been a good friend to him."

"You have been a great friend to Shawn and he knows that. Shawn just doesn't share so ask him tomorrow and see what he tells you." Amy said.

"Ya, I better go do my homework." Cory said as he made his way over to the stairs.

"Your report card should be coming in the mail in the next few days. Should we be prepared for anything?" Alan asked.

"I don't know. I tried my best." Cory said.

"That's all we can ask." Amy said.

Cory went upstairs to his room so he could do his homework. Unlike Shawn he actually did want to go to college and he knew he would need the grades to get in. He had been trying this year to get better grades and he was hoping his hard work had paid off. Today was Thursday so either tomorrow or Monday he would get his report card and Cory would find out if the work paid off or not.

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Turner went into his apartment and couldn't help, but feel like Shawn was hiding something from him. He put his bag down and sat down on his couch. He had never heard Shawn call himself stupid before. He couldn't believe that Shawn didn't even let himself have a dream, because he knew he wouldn't be anything more than some townie. Shawn truly believed that he was going to be nothing in life. Turner couldn't help, but feel hurt that Shawn thought that little of himself and Turner never noticed while he was living with him. Turner couldn't help, but wonder what else he missed about Shawn while they lived together. It was the first time that Turner realised that Shawn never did open up to him. They lived together for a year, but Turner didn't really know Shawn. It blew his mind that Shawn not only liked reading poetry, but wrote it. Playing guitar didn't seem like much of a stretch for Shawn's personality. He was very popular with people and very much so could be a people person. Playing guitar kinda fit with his look and personality. The poetry was interesting to Turner and he wanted to read some that Shawn had wrote, but he knows that Shawn would never let him. So tomorrow for the weekend he was going to give the class an assignment about poetry and see if he could get Shawn to do the assignment.

Turner couldn't help, but think that something was bothering Shawn. If Shawn's parents were arguing a lot and in front of him that worried Turner. No child should have to see their parents fight, especially if it was happening more and more. Turner didn't know how often the arguing was, but if it was bad enough to wake Shawn up in the morning and make him leave then it wasn't good. Shawn was a sensitive kid, especially after everything he had been through in his life. He didn't trust people with himself; he had these walls built all around him to protect himself from being hurt. He didn't let himself be with the same girl for longer than a week or two, because he didn't want to get attached or care about the person. Shawn was very guarded and protective of his feelings. Having to hear his parents arguing was only going to hurt Shawn.

Turner looked around his apartment and couldn't help, but think of all the other places he looked at. They were two bedrooms and in better areas then this one was in. They were definitely bigger than this place and it was better for Shawn to be living in. That was one of the things that Turner hated about Shawn's parents being back. He was back in the trailer park with all of the gangs. Shawn didn't belong there, even if he felt like he did. There was a point in Turner's life that he didn't care about people. All he cared about was himself and he lived for himself. When Shawn was brought into his life, his life was made better. Shawn made his life mean something and that was new for Turner. He never cared about anyone before and yet with Shawn he couldn't help it. He wanted to be there for Shawn and help him get through life and find himself. He wanted to be there for him and take care of him. Shawn wasn't used to someone wanting to be there for him. He wasn't used to someone caring about him and wanting to help him. Sure he had the Mathews, but they weren't his family. They cared about him, but they had enough kids they couldn't take on another one, especially a child like Shawn. Turner didn't know what to do, but he felt like he had to do something. He had to make a change. So he was going to call back some of the apartments that Shawn and him looked at and see if any were still available. Turner wanted Shawn to feel like he could still come back if he wanted or needed to.
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Shawn walked into the trailer and he saw both his parents sitting down in the kitchen with a drink in their hands. Shawn knew that tonight would be a bad night. It wasn't barely after four in the afternoon and his parents were already well on their way to being drunk. Shawn closed the door and tried to get to the safety of his room, but his mother got him first.

"You're late. I told you I want you home by three thirty." Virna said with anger in her voice.

The fact that he had to be home by three thirty was a problem in itself for Shawn. It took thirty minutes to walk home from the school. School didn't end until three and by the time he grabbed his things and put his books away in his locker and said goodbye to Cory it was easily quarter after before he even left the school, but his mother didn't understand that.

"I'm sorry Jon wanted to speak to me."

"What's he want?" Chet asked with anger in his voice.

"Just to see how I was doing with everything." Shawn said in a dismissive tone trying to edge his way towards the hallway.

If he could get to his room he could usually avoid any anger directed his way.

"What did you say?" Chet asked with even more anger in his voice now.

Shawn didn't know why his father hated Turner so much. Because of Turner Shawn had a place to live for the year that he was gone traveling around the states. His father didn't care that Shawn was left behind for a year and only heard from him once every twenty-eight days. Even when his father was close by he didn't even bother to come and see him. Because of Turner Shawn was able to have a place to live and food to eat. Turner kept him alive and safe. So Shawn didn't understand why his father hated him so much.

"That everything was fine." Shawn said softly.

"You better have said that." Virna said in a threatening way.

She never used to be like this and Shawn couldn't help, but wonder what happened to his mother in the year that she had been gone.

"I don't want you talking to him boy. We are your parents, not him. I don't want to hear any more about him or that you were talking to him. You understand me boy." Chet raised his voice.

"Ya"

"You're grounded for a week. If you are late again I will make your punishment worse. Now get out of my sight." Virna said with distain in her voice.

Shawn didn't even argue he just went down the hall to his small room. The room was small, but he didn't care it was his room. It was a place where he could go to be safe and alone. He closed his door and could already hear his parents getting loud and arguing. Shawn just wished he could escape and get away from everything. He put his bag down on his bed, which was just a mattress and box spring on the floor. He went over to his desk that was about to collapse over from being so old, same as his dresser. Shawn had long ago given up on his dresser and just had his clothes in different neat piles on the floor. Shawn grabbed his Walkman and put his headset on. He turned the volume up as loud as it could go to try and block out the sound of his parents arguing. The problem was the music was drowning out the argument, but Shawn still couldn't get his mind to stop thinking about it. He just wanted to escape from everything for a little while, but he didn't know what to do. So Shawn did something he hadn't done in years. He sat down on his bed and opened his book bag. He took his books out and actually did his homework.