Title: Compulsion
Author: HopefulNebula (hopefullynebulous@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG
Summary: T'Pol's thoughts pre-Harbinger. V. short, and written with less than 22 hours left before Harbinger airs here.
Spoilers: Similitude
Date: 10 Feb 2004
Disclaimer: If I owned Enterprise, would I be scrounging around for video clips and spoilers at 10:30 PM on a Tuesday night? I don't think so.
I was too lazy to post this at FFN until now. So there, ha.
~~~~~
"There's nothing I'd like better than to fall." ~Sarah McLachlan, Fear
~~~~~
His lips are more overwhelming than his eyes. Though I have only felt them once, and they weren't technically his, I continue to find the line dividing Sim and Commander Tucker unclear. That body, that voice, those eyes, those lips… those are both of them. What, then, of my feelings? I find it ironic that this began with Sim's uncertainty as to whether his feelings were his own or Tucker's, and now I find myself divided as to the true recipient of my own emotions. All I know is how compelled I am to fall into Tucker's lips once more.
To fall… to fall. How appropriate. This feeling is exactly like falling—into what, I'm not sure. I know that if I were to literally fall, he would be there to catch me, and I would submit to his inferior strength, only to fall into the intense blueness of his eyes, the fullness of his lips, the warmth of his katra. This thought comforts me, against all logic.
His touch is almost healing. When his skin is against mine, I feel safer and more accepted than I can remember feeling in nearly seventy years of life. Touching him so intimately must be tantamount to what humans call "heaven." It is all I desire, and yet he embodies everything I cannot be.
My father once told me that I have always yearned to attain the unattainable. I wonder what he would think of me now, as the candle flame flickers impatiently in my quarters, which have never seemed empty before.