"Don't you trust me?" he asks.
"I don't know!" she shouts back.
"Why not? We've known each other for more than a year now! We're best friends; we're . . ." He doesn't continue.
"What are we now? Why don't you tell me?"
"I would, but I don't know. You keep pushing me away and I'm trying to apologize. It was an accident, okay?"
"No, it is not okay. Nothing will ever be okay after what happened!" Tears begin to run down her face, and she wipes them away quickly.
"Don't cry-" He tries to reach out and touch her cheek.
"Don't!" she exclaims, shying away. "Just don't, okay?"
"What is wrong with you? Why won't you let me in?" he says.
"Because I know that if I do, you'll end up hurting me again!" she says, her voice choked with sobs.
"I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you-"
A rush of anger goes through her at his words, and the tears stop running from her eyes. She lets out a harsh, cruel laugh. "Sure, that's what they all say! If you never meant to hurt me, you would stop going behind my back!"
"It was Amber's idea, too!"
"Don't just put all of your blame on her. It was also your idea." She runs her fingers through her hair. "Will you just leave me alone?"
"No-I want to talk!" Her answer to him is a glare as she slams the door in his face. She presses her back against the wood as she tries to calm her roiling emotions.
He pounds on the door, calling her name as he begs her to just talk to him. "Go away!" she yells over her shoulder.
Her eyes pop open in surprise as Amber mutters, "Ugh, I need an aspirin."
"Amber, hi."
"You know you guys need to talk. You've been fighting for forever and it is starting to give me a massive headache."
"I know," she sighs. "But what can we talk about? How happy he and Joy are together now that they're dating? I really don't want to hear that, especially not from him."
"You do realize that he and Joy aren't a thing, right? No matter what she says?" Amber asks.
Unconcealed doubt is in her voice."Yeah, right."
Amber tuts, "Oh, Nina, Nina, Nina."
. . .
They are fighting again. Something about being cursed. Mara looks up from her book and sees Patricia roll her eyes at the cacophony of noise.
The arguing gets louder and Mara puts down her book, putting her hands to her ears to block out the sound. Did they always have to fight so much? Mara thinks to herself.
"Alright, that's it. I am done with this fighting," Patricia growls. She yanks open the door and storms outside. Mara pauses before getting up and following her roommate outside and into the corridor.
Patricia bangs on Nina and Amber's door, and Joy appears from the bathroom, a confused look on her face. She meets with Mara and asks, "What's going on?"
Mara is about to reply, but she sees Patricia open the door to reveal Fabian and Nina squabbling like two animals fighting over territory. Patricia pushes the two of them apart, and Nina and Fabian's eyes widen in surprise. They stop fighting, which is a total relief to Mara's ears.
"You two have got to quit fighting! It is driving everyone insane!" Patricia shouts.
"It's her fault that we haven't gotten anywhere with the mystery!" Fabian says.
"What am I supposed to do?" Nina counters angrily.
"Face your fears like the rest of us already have!"
"You know what, Fabian-"
"Stop!" Patricia shrieks, striding over to stand in between them. She looks over at Mara and Joy. "Can you grab the other boys? I have a plan."
Joy and Mara run down the stairs and pull all three boys up to the second floor. They all stare at the two girls in confusion, but then see Nina and Fabian standing on either sides of the corridor, sulking. Patricia looks up and grins.
"Okay. Jerome, Eddie, you grab Fabian. Mara, Alfie, you get Nina. Joy-" she looks at her best friend. "-just stand there, yeah?"
Joy scowls, but stands by the wall as Mara and Alfie grab Nina and Jerome and Eddie grab Fabian. Both struggle against their holds, but to no avail: they are held firmly by their housemates.
"What are you going to do with us?" Nina asks.
"Just put you somewhere so you can talk," Patricia says simply.
"Where?" Fabian says with a wary look.
"Calm down-not in the attic. Not after last time," Patricia retorts. She puts a hand to her hip as she thinks. "Hmm . . ."
A lightbulb seems to appear above her head. "I've got it. Put them in there." She jabs her thumb at the bathroom door.
"What?" Nina and Fabian both exclaim. They each begin to shout their protests, but Patricia pretends to not hear them.
"Go ahead. I'll let you out at four. That gives you a good six hours to talk it out. I think you can survive a few hours without food," she remarks casually.
"What's going on?" Amber says as she meanders into the corridor to join everyone else. A cold compress from the kitchen* is pressed to her forehead-probably after all of the arguing she heard.
"Amber!" Nina pleads with her roommate. "Don't let them do this, please!"
"What are they doing?" Amber removes the compress from her head and seems to be reenergized. Mara whispers what has happened in the blonde's ear, and Mara pulls away quickly before Amber gives off a loud squeal.
"Put them in there now! Go, go, go!" Amber cheers.
"Amber, no!" Nina says.
"I expect to see you two snogging when you get out!" Amber says before shutting the door in their faces.
. . .
Fabian is stuck in this room with Nina. And they are just sitting on opposite sides of the room, not talking and staying in this awkward silence.
For hours, no one speaks.
Nina perches on the lid of the toilet seat, a hand cupping her chin. She avoids his eyes, though he continues to try and make eye contact with her. He begins to stop trying to lock eyes with her, thought, instead looking down at the ground. Unconsciously, he taps his fingers to a silent beat, thinking of a song he tried playing on the guitar only yesterday. He still is not sure if it was meant for Joy or Nina; his feelings are so conflicted about the both of them.
Fabian loves Joy and Nina equally, but in different ways. Joy he has had feelings for in the past-it was love in a way that he cared about her if anything happened to her, but not in the way that he wanted to date her. Fabian wants Joy to be happy and in love, but he does not think that he is the right one for her.
Nina: Fabian loves her. More than he has loved any girl before. More than his kindergarten teacher that he had liked as a child after thinking she was really pretty and nice; more than Joy, who he had liked for the longest time. He knows that Nina is the one he wants to be with for his life. He wants to marry her and see her in a beautiful white dress as she glides down the aisle, he wants to kiss her every moment she is sad to take away the pain, he wants to grow old with her and watch their grandchildren grow up as they spend their last years together.
"Do you mind?" Nina snaps, breaking out of his reverie.
Fabian looks up in confusion. "What?" he replies. Anger laces his voice; it seems like he's angry whenever he talks to her, which does not make any sense since they have been friends for so long, and because he loves her and should not be angry at someone he loved so much.
"Can you please stop tapping? It's getting annoying," she comments.
"Oh, what tapping?" he asks innocently. "This?" He begins to furiously drum his fingers to a quick and rapid song that plays in his head.
"Yes, that," Nina says, irritation evident in her tone.
"Sorry, but I don't remember you being in charge of what I can and cannot do," Fabian says.
Nina stands up abruptly, which stops Fabian's tapping. She moves toward him and leans against the wall he sits against, a hand holding her up while she points a finger at his chest.
"That explains everything, doesn't it? I know I can't control what you do, that's why you kissed Joy! What, were you playing with my feelings just to see what would happen? Well, you know what? I don't care what you do. If you go get married with her, go ahead. Don't expect me to be there when she breaks your heart and doesn't even have the courage to tell you that you guys are finished. Because I know she'll do that and you'll be alone and heart-broken. And I'll be nowhere nearby to pick up the pieces."
"Joy would never do that," Fabian says firmly. His eyes are hard as flint as he stares at this jealous girl that is not his Nina. "Why do you keep saying everything is her fault? That girl may have hurt you and me and ruined it for both of us, but at least she is a decent person. Not like the cold-hearted person I'm staring at."
He sees Nina freeze, her eyes widening and filling with hurt. He wants to take it back and just insist that he is upset and frustrated, and does not know what he is saying, but the words have already pierced the tension-filled air. Nina turns away, standing up straight and putting her hands on the countertop of the sink. She leans over the sink, her back bowed and her hair falling in curtains around her face.
She takes in a shaky breath, and Fabian just wants to walk up to her, put his arms around her, and just tell her that everything is okay. But he can't: because they're broken up, because they're no longer a couple, because he screwed up by kissing the wrong girl.
"Why are we doing this?" she asks, her question ringing in the quiet air. Her voice is broken and full of tears.
Fabian shakes his head, putting his head in his hands and rubbing his temples. This is just too much. This drama is going to kill him, and here he was, stuck in a room with his ex-girlfriend that he still loved. If that isn't drama, he does not know what is.
"I don't know. This term . . . everything is falling apart," he whispers.
"I liked it better when we secretly liked each other," Nina murmurs.
He lets off a fake laugh that echoes dully in the room. "Yeah, it was so much easier," he says.
A pause. Then she asks, "Why did you do it?"
He knows exactly what she is talking about. But he asks the question anyway: "What?"
"The kiss."
"She was wearing your mask. She had the same dress as you. It was dark, there with no light to see by. She kissed me and . . . I don't know what else to say," he answers glumly.
"Right," she remarks.
"In the chamber with the chasm," Fabian starts. "I saved you and . . ."
". . . and I'm not going to just fall in love with you again just because you saved my life," Nina finishes for him.
"B-But I saved your life! That has got to count for something!" he says.
"Yes. It does count." she says, turning to face him. Her eyes are tinged pink as she recovers from crying. "I'll be forever in your debt, but I'm not going to fall in love with you. You kissed Joy, and I'm heartbroken. Do you honestly think I'm going to just swoon into your arms as soon as you do a chivalrous thing?"
"I-I-" Fabian stutters.
"Exactly. Even you know that I wouldn't do that. You broke my heart by kissing her."
"We weren't even dating, why would you care?" he asks.
"Why would I care?" Nina repeats. "You can't tell that I love you? I never wanted us to break up! Every time you go study with Joy, it literally tears me apart! It's like she toys with my emotions by using you, and she knows it. I want to burst into tears every time we fight. I hate it so much. I never want to fight because I love you."
She is blushing bright red with hazel irises shining with tears as what she said sinks in. Fabian's heart is thudding in his chest, his pulse pounding in his ears. He thought that she never wanted to be with him after the break-up. She gave him a cold look every time Joy needed his help, but he never knew why until now. She was jealous this entire time? He knew it had hurt her when Joy kissed him, but he never knew that she lashed out at him out of frustration and jealously.
"Is that true?" he says finally.
"Yes, of course it is!" Nina says.
Fabian stands up from his sitting position, approaching her slowly and carefully. She does not seem to notice him moving until he wraps his arms around her.
She recoils away from him, going to stand against the shower curtain. "Please, don't."
"Nina-" he says.
"No! I can't handle it. I don't want to feel the pain all over again! It was awful the first time!" Nina leans away from him and shrieks as the curtain gives way.
Fabian rushes toward her, grabbing her waist and pushing her against him to break her fall. His arm collides with the bathtub's porcelain material, causing a sharp pain to tingle through his arm.
He grunts at the pain, but ignores it as he examines the girl he loves. She does not seem to be injured or hurt in any way, just a bit shaken up. Her eyes searches his face for an answer to why he did this.
"Are you okay?" she says softly.
"I'm fine as long as you are," he says.
"Why?" she mumbles.
"Why what?" he asks, feeling uncomfortable at the awkward position he is in: kneeling over the bathtub with his arm holding himself up at a weird angle.
"Why do you keep saving me?" she says.
"Because that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to pick you up when you fall down. I'm supposed to be there for you whenever I can."
"Why do you keep doing these things that only make me fall for you harder?"
"I don't know. Why don't you let yourself fall back in love with me?*"
"Because I know I'm going to get hurt."
"Like I told you before, Nina, I will never hurt you," he whispers.
Fabian can see that she is leaning toward him to kiss him, and he gladly leans forward. He wants to kiss her and mend their relationship. He wants them to be together again. But he is surprised when she pulls away quickly.
"I can't. I love you, but . . ."
"Nina." Fabian uncurls his arm from around her waist and puts a hand to her face, ignoring her objections. A sudden need for some response from her causes him to press his lips to hers.
A moment later he breaks away from her, hunting for some sort of love and happiness and compassion in her eyes because of the kiss. He waits for her to become the Nina from last term, the Nina he really and truly loves.
But Nina is unresponsive. Her eyes are completely lost of any hope, and totally empty of any happiness. She shakes her head every so slightly, mouthing the words, "I'm sorry."
She peers at Fabian's watch on his wrist, then scrambles out of the tub, straightening her clothes to make it appear as if nothing happened between them. Nina opens the door, and he sees the outline of Alfie and Eddie, half-asleep at their sentry posts beside the door. Apparently, Nina opening the door awakens them and they glare at her with a warning in their eyes.
"Relax," Nina says. "Our time is up. It's four o'clock."
Fabian gets out of the tub and walks cautiously towards the door in time to hear Amber's voice ring through the corridor. "Are they out?" Amber questions.
She appears from Mara, Joy, and Patricia's room and her face breaks into a smile at the sight of Nina.
"Nina!" Amber runs at her BAF, but then slows down and frowns as she sees Nina's expression. "What happened?"
"Nothing," Nina says simply. She glances over her shoulder, seeing Fabian's heart-broken look. "Nothing at all."
Fabian thinks his heart has just crumbled into miniscule pieces that can never be pieced together again. The girl he still loves walks down the stairs, throwing over her shoulder, "I'm going to go get a snack."
And there is a sense of finality as Joy links her arm with his hurt one and whispers in his ear, "Don't worry, Fabes. I'll always be here for you."
And Fabian knows that Nina really means it. No, not about the snack-about the fact that she isn't going to fall in love with him again. That she is really gone for good. Sure, they would always have each other's backs, and they would be best friends, but they would never be more than that. As Amber would put it, Fabina is finished for good.
Asterisk (*) meanings . . .
First: I wanted to make sure you knew that Amber had come from downstairs, from the freezer.
Second: I was going to write "Why don't you ask the writers?" but decided to omit it, since they don't know they're on TV. -le sigh-
I suppose I could have made this into two or three chapters, but I like its length. Nice and long, I love reading long stories.
This is an angsty fic, and I was just mad at the world so I wrote it. I may write another chapter about this where Fabina gets together, but only if you review and if you guys want me to!
In case you didn't get that, I'd love it if you could review... Please? Maybe? I'll make some chocolate-chip cookies... For ever review, you can get a cookie!
~Ary