Being Me

I looked over at the turtles as they slept on the padded benches around the tv. I switch it off.

Suddenly the lair was silent, not even the sound of pipes were heard.

I sighed. I had a huge decision to make.

I have a choice.

One I thought I'd never have to make.

I remember when I met them. I figured we'd be together for the rest of our lives. Maybe I'd have ended up living here one day.

My future depends on this choice.

I need to make a decision.

But can I?

I look over my friends as they murmur a little in their sleep.

I must decide.

Will I stay with them and carry on writing or will I leave and never come back.

Leaving will be hard and I know I'll want to come back.

But staying could mean I never move on. It could mean I'd never get a job. I could lose my future.

I step away from the turtles and look down at my computer which was still on the login page of Fanfiction.

I frown.

''Ran?'' I look over at the four boys, they look at me in sad confusion. I had discussed this with them earlier. We had all gotten upset before trying to watch tv to try and break the silence.

I gulp as I look at each of them.

I was one of their only human friends. They've been there for me through everything, could I really just leave this behind?

They'll always be my comfort but… Would they really be able to help me if I just abandon everything I've been through?

I sigh and sit in the armchair across from them. They kneel in front of me and look into my face.

I give them a weak smile and they try to comfort me. I shake my head and hug them all fiercely.

I could never leave this. No matter how hard I try.

I will be stuck living in this world of fantasy for the rest of my life, The turtles and their rat Sensei will always be a part of me.

It is possible that this will all stop me from moving on with my life. I may never get a great job or know what I want to do with my life other than see the turtles. I may never have a husband because no human man could ever live up to match my love for a mutant ninja turtle.

I may never have children.

I may never stop thinking about the turtles and I may never become an adult.

And I guess I'm ok with that.

These guys have been there for me when no human has, why should I give that up because society tells me it's wrong?

Why should I give up on something that makes me happy.

I will stay with the turtles without the ability to leave.

I won't live the way I'm expected to but I will be happy.

And maybe one day everything will change for the better, until then I will be the weird kid that stays on her laptop letting every emotion and idea flow through the keys on the keyboard while thinking about the family of mutants that will always be there.

I will do what I do best. I will be me.

That's all I can do.

~Fin~