"Do it, America," they urged.

"N-no!! Why should I!?" America whimpered.

"You got here late! This is your punishment!" England huffed and crossed his arms.

"B-but he's-- I--"

"No excuses, mon ami~" France patted his shoulder, "And he's not so bad you know~"

But America knew he was. (They weren't called the Bad Touch Trio for nothing.)

And he especially knew about Prussia. He was the one that would randomly burst out at meetings about this idea being stupid and that idea would be so much more awesome if he was in charge of it and would use language only England could stand listening to for a long time.

"Yeah. Soo not gonna happen, guys."

"Haha, America, you should do it!" Russia piped up cheerfully. Almost too cheerfully.

America's eye twitched. He gulped and looked out the door where Prussia sat in the common room of the UN. He'd been given a time-out by Germany for being too disruptive. He looked so bored.

"Hurry up and do it!! Or...are you scared?" England sneered.

"Wha-- Of course not! Heroes don't get scared!!" America announced and trotted out the room towards Prussia. Thankfully, the meeting had already ended and nobody else was around anymore, but somehow France had managed to make Prussia stay there by promising him beer.

Prussia glanced at America.

America froze.

His eyes were fucking red. That's not normal.

"What?"

"H-HUH?!" America jumped.

"I said, 'What?'" Prussia raised an eyebrow. Why the hell was this guy talking to him?

"Oh! Oh u-um..." America took a quick glance at the other room, where France, England, and Russia were sneakily watching from behind the door. He cursed them in his mind.

"W-would you mind..." he nervously muttered. What if Prussia got mad at him? What if Prussia took out a knife and stabbed him!?...Well, at least he could sue those three jerk-bags for making him do it.

"Mind what?" Prussia sighed.

"......" Aw, screw it.

America leaned down and kissed Prussia.

America froze again. He just stood there, lips locked and afraid to make a move. They could hear sniggering and giggling in the other room.

'F-fuck my liiiife,' America thought to himself, still not pulling away with the thought that Prussia might punch (or stab) him in the groin if he had the chance.

Meanwhile, Prussia was frozen in his spot, his eyes wide open, but it was impossible for him NOT to hear their stupid laughing in the other room. Look at this guy, just kissing him like it was a life or death situation, all flustered and red and...

Prussia reached out a hand and grabbed the back of America's head. He pulled him closer, deeper into the kiss.

"Mmf--!!" America gasped into his lips at the sudden action.

Smirking at him, Prussia decided to stick his tongue in America's mouth a few times to make him more embarrassed. America turned even redder than he was before, his head spinning and his heart pounding. Was he being punished? Moreover, WHY WAS HE ENJOYING IT?

Prussia finally let go of America, who pushed away from him and started rubbing at his lips, "WH-WH--"

"That's my line, you whore," he glared at him.

"Wh--!!" America gasped and stepped back and turned, running away as fast as he could.

"Pfft, idiot."

So this is one of my favorite crack pairings EVUH. Yeah. I'm sorry but I had to do it.

I JUST HAD TO.